Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
JAKE
I had no idea what had happened between the time we’d arrived at PenAlety Box and the time the bill arrived. I’d spent half of dinner telling my friends about the last twenty-four hours, from Esme driving me home, to showing up at my house that morning, to meeting Chloe and Stank, to the conversations we’d had over the afternoon. I’d tried not to leave anything out.
The second half of dinner had been them asking me questions about Esme’s reactions to everything and how I was feeling. Apparently, telling them I was confused as hell hadn’t been enough because they'd continued to ask questions between bites of food and debating who got each of the cars that had come with our meals.
I still thought Esme should have been freaked out about everything he’d learned, but the laughter coming from the Doms on the other side of the table was the same as it was every other time we were together. They had effortlessly folded Esme into their circle. Each time I glanced at Esme, he was showing a different emotion. Confusion, amusement, shock, and embarrassment had all played out across his face throughout dinner. The one thing I hadn't seen, though, was repulsion.
“I should let you guys go,” Esme said as he held out a credit card, insisting on paying the bill while saying something about crashing our plans and it only being right.
Trent studied Esme closely before speaking. “You should think about joining. It would be good for you.”
DASH? Was Trent telling Esme to join DASH? Or a gym? I couldn’t think of anywhere else someone would have to join. Would Esme feel differently about me if he saw me little at DASH when I had toys and my friends around and shut my brain off? Seeing me with Elle and my pacifier was one thing, but seeing me in bright pajamas and playing with toys had to be very different.
Then I looked around the table; it was littered with our new cars and our cups with lids and straws. While I wanted to think it was simply a fun thing the owner did for us, it had saved at least one mess tonight when Aiden had reached for Logan’s car and knocked his drink over. A few drops of lemonade had come out of the straw before the cup had been righted again, but the lid had kept a large spill from spreading across the entire table.
When I looked back to my friends, I knew I’d been lost in thoughts about Esme and not paying attention to the conversation around me because Aiden, Larson, and Logan were shooting one another curious glances before Larson finally spoke up. “Are you guys sure?”
Logan’s and Aiden’s heads bobbed in unison, though I could see the hesitance in the responses, at least from Aiden. Logan didn’t possess the same worries because he was already on to the next topic. “Do you think we can talk them into hot chocolate?”
“No,” Trent answered dryly, never taking his attention away from the conversation he’d been having with Esme.
Logan pouted. “Not fair.”
“I heard Daddy order cookies to go,” Larson said, though much more quietly than Logan had. “I think that’s our dessert.”
The information perked Logan up. “Oh! Wonder who made them today…”
I knew what he was getting at. What surprises were in the cookies would depend on who made them. The owner made stuffed cookies like I’d never had before and they were hands down the best cookies ever. The last time I’d had one of his cookies, they were filled with bourbon chocolate creme, almost like a truffle. If the head cook made them, they would be a more traditional cookie, though huge and always the perfect combination of gooey and done.
Logan’s eyes nearly had hearts in them as he thought about dessert and rubbed his stomach as though he was still hungry.
Larson rolled his eyes at him, then directed the conversation back to what they’d been talking about before dessert. “If we’re good with this, where do we go?”
Aiden tapped his chin. “Our place is better set up for game nights.”
“And Jake doesn’t have any toys,” Logan said.
“What are we talking about?” I asked, but it didn’t feel like anyone heard me when the conversation continued without an answer.
Logan and Aiden looked over at Larson and my eyes followed automatically to find him with a resigned expression on his face. “Fine. Our place it is.”
He stood up and headed to where Canyon was sitting.
When he was gone, I looked at Logan and Aiden and quietly said, “What is he asking?”
Aiden scooted his chair closer to me and leaned in. “How would you feel about going to Larson’s house to play tonight?”
I was so confused. “Instead of the club?”
Logan nodded. “Yes.”
“Why?”
Aiden sighed and leaned even closer. “Because we think Esme might like to get to know this part of you.” He used his hand to gesture at me.
“ What?” I hissed. Bringing my voice to a less frantic level, I took a breath. “Why?”
Logan patted my hand like I was the puppy in the group. “Because we see the way you’re looking at him and the way he’s looking at you. He’s interested. You’re interested. But until he sees all of you, he’s not going to know if he’s okay with things or not.”
Aiden’s head bobbed in agreement. “And you aren’t going to know how things will work out either and you’ll be all weird around him on Monday.”
I shot the guys a glare they all brushed off. Aiden scoffed and gave me an unamused look. “Tell us honestly—if you just walk out of here and go to DASH with us tonight, what’s work going to be like Monday?”
My responding groan was all they needed to hear. They didn’t need me to say it would be painfully awkward all around. “Exactly!” Aiden said with too much pride in his voice.
Logan placed his arm around Aiden’s shoulders and tugged him close to plant a kiss on the top of his head. “And you know our Daddies aren’t going to let you walk into something that might blow up. Face it, you’re basically their boy without all the benefits.”
I groaned at Logan’s description, but I knew he was right, no matter how much I didn’t want to admit it. I had multiple Daddies but none of the fun stuff my friends got. I got put in timeout when I wasn’t listening, sent to bed at reasonable times, and tucked in for naps when we had playdates, yet I didn’t get the kisses, sex, or funishments my friends did. With their surrogate Daddyhood, there was no way they were going to let Esme and me work things out on our own. They’d worry about me nonstop and bug Esme until he ran screaming.
On a sigh, I tried to push all my feelings about letting Esme see me truly little to the side and nodded slowly. “Okay, I see your point.”
We turned our heads to where Larson was talking to his Daddy in time to see Canyon’s eyes widened noticeably. Are you sure ? he mouthed to Larson, only for Larson to nod affirmatively.
Canyon glanced our way and our heads bobbed up and down before he could ask the question, some of us more eagerly than others. Predictably, I was the most hesitant. My friends, however, were confident about the plan. As much as I hated it, I knew they wouldn’t agree to something if they thought it would turn out badly.
Canyon studied us for an uncomfortably long time before taking a deep breath. “Hey, last minute, but how would you guys feel about heading back to our place for the evening instead of going to DASH?”
Trent looked at him in confusion, and Esme’s face was even more confused when Canyon included him in the invite. After Canyon had explained the change to them, Trent’s confusion cleared slightly and he began to nod in understanding. Understanding didn’t mean agreement, though, because he turned to address Logan, Aiden, and me. “Are you guys okay with this change?”
My friends nodded their heads, but it wasn’t enough and he raised his eyebrows at me, waiting for my response. “Yeah. It’s okay. I mean, as long as everyone else is good with the change… and Esme doesn’t mind.”
If my cheeks hadn’t turned fire-engine red, I would’ve been shocked. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d needed a cold shower before my blush faded.
When I’d woken up that morning, I wouldn’t have considered agreeing to the plan. Esme seeing me vulnerable in any way hadn’t been on the agenda. Throughout the day, he’d shown me he was genuinely interested in me—both my little and big sides.
But it didn't matter if he was interested—the evening was going to be awkward. However, I knew my friends—the littles and their Daddies—would never have considered the change in plans if they didn’t trust Esme.
They had never given me a reason not to trust them or their instincts, and that meant I needed to let some of my worries go.
Trent’s narrowed eyes softened before he turned to Esme. “What do you think? Would you like to go to Canyon and Larson’s for the evening?”
Esme’s eyes focused on me, studying me closely and silently double-checking with me before looking back at Trent. “I’d love to.”