Chapter 13
Gillian
I don't ever want to get out of my bed again.
Not the least because now that I'm too thoroughly fucked to even think about coming again for a while, my body aches in places I didn't think my human form had.
I stretch my limbs a little, and muzzily realize that part of the reason for the sense of extra muscles aching is that I fell asleep with all my arms out.
Oops, partial shifts take a lot of energy to maintain for extended periods of time.
Totally worth it to hold Winny and tease her and taste her all over with my suckers.
I pull my octopus limbs back in, and sigh at the way my tight muscles relax at not having to accommodate the in-between form anymore.
Winny mumbles a sleepy protest and snuggles closer to me. It warms me from the center of my chest that she wants every part of me, even in her sleep.
I'd have shifted my extra limbs away after, when we were cuddling, but Winny was so soft and warm, and she made the sweetest little indignant bird squawk before asking me to hold her a little longer when I tried to extricate my second forearms from around her, so I didn't shift.
Just used one of my posterior arms to grab my blanket off the heap of clean clothes on the floor instead of the arm I'd planned to use.
Ugh, my body aches from dozing off before I remembered to shift back again.
Considering the peaceful sense of floating in safe waters when we were all snuggled up together, it's no surprise I fell asleep when I didn't mean to.
I just needed that time to be with Winny afterward, to feel like she still welcomed my affection while we dozily kissed after a final orgasm so intense I think my soul briefly left my body.
I didn't think it was possible to come that many times in such a short span, but she proved me wrong.
Now, in the silent darkness, it feels like I found something magical with Winny. And if I get up it will break whatever spell has me clinging to the shifter in my bed and hoping I can have more of everything with her. More of being seen and treasured and…more of Winny.
When I get up, that will mean waking Winny, and then she'll leave and this night, this perfect night, will fade into a memory. A memory that will be easy to question; it couldn't really feel this good to be with her.
Fate isn't a thing.
It's not. And even if it is, how can I feel so sure of her after one day?
'How do I know where to anchor my eggs so the current won't rip them free?' my inner octopus counters smugly.
'That's not the same! You don’t get it.'
'Human thoughts,’ she agrees in the most derisive way possible.
The implication is clear that, of course she doesn't understand foolish human logic, it makes no sense.
‘Stop. You were happy enough to call upon me to bring our tentacles into the matter, so you'll at least hear me out about the what now part. '
'Sorry, you didn't object, though.' I sulk at her.
'Pshaw. Of course not, we enjoyed sharing our mate. That's my point. Some things you know the way you know I'm you and you're me. Who taught you to shift? How to swim? How to taste the currents for food?'
'No one. Instinct I guess. But you can't just instinctually know someone is the person you want to build a life with.'
'Why not? Our static cousins can choose which sperm sacs to discard and which suitors are worthy to sire young on far shorter acquaintance.'
'Yeah, well, first, gross. I don't want to talk about sperm sacs, pretty much ever. And she's as much a human as I am, so how are you going to convince her to ignore everything humans know about rushing into relationships?'
My octopus gives me the mental equivalent of propelling a jet of water at my face in exasperation. 'Well, there's no reasoning with you when you're like this. If you won't listen to me, talk to her. She's a shifter too, as you said.’
She pulls away from the surface of my thoughts sulkily. 'Maybe her bird side has enough sense for both of you.'
I send apologetic thoughts after her and she tucks her tentacles around herself, like she's slipping back into my subconscious the same way we can navigate through an impossibly small gap into a hide in her physical form.
She takes the parts of me she represents with her, or rather I'm no longer aware of the ways my aquatic side interprets things differently from my human side.
I know our octopus instincts are still there, drifting beneath the surface, but they aren't screaming at me to ignore the all too human fear that falling in love can't happen this fast.
Logic says we connected over an intense emotional moment and the sex is incredible.
But that's a fling at most. Not a basis for making plans for our future when we haven't even talked about there being an official 'us' at all.
Logic says I should be antsy to get Winny up, dressed, and out the door before my sister and her kids get home and there's a way too soon ‘meet the family’ moment.
It's just that logic doesn't account for how warm she is in my arms. Just the human ones now that my other side has retreated. Logic can't stop the tender ache in my chest when she clings to me in her sleep and mumbles my name in an adorably muzzy half-asleep voice.
Her face is so much more relaxed when she's asleep.
I want to trace the contours of her cheeks and kiss her lips.
Part of me thinks it really could be as simple as knowing that I want to get to know this woman.
I don't have to pick her forever to pick her for now.
That feels right, and my inner octopus settles more comfortably at the back of my mind, reinforcing the conclusion.
I smile down at the gorgeous shifter in my bed, then reach for my phone to follow up about the rental listing I inquired about earlier.
I might not know everything I want my future to hold, but I do know that I want to explore this new relationship without the constraints of planning dates around True's schedule.
I flick through the photos of the listing again.
It's not fancy, but it would be my own place. One room in a shared duplex and the owner lives in the attached unit with a young kid. Harvey was the contact on the listing and he said there might be another tenant soon, but I can move in before solstice if I want since it's currently empty.
Harvey. The same wolf shifter who seems to run half the businesses in town and who Winny seems to consider practically family.
I’m nervous about the random roommate aspect, but it would mean having my own place.
An adult roommate is way less awkward to plan dates around than my nosy sister and her kids.
Linc minds his own business at least, but still.
Only one little detail gives me pause. It’s the reason I haven’t replied to Harvey’s message offering to arrange a meeting with the owner and a tour of the apartment.
Harvey said the neighbor sometimes asks the shifters he places in the apartment to babysit.
On its face, that’s not a problem. It’s just that I don't want to trade being my sister's live-in nanny for free babysitting services for a stranger who can kick me out far more easily than True.
I'll have to meet her, and any potential roommate, before I sign anything, but it feels like the right move.
'Now you're thinking like a hunter, yes.' My inner octopus approves of the plan. 'You can't catch the prey you don't pursue.'
I bite my lip as I read over the message I've been waffling over sending since before my date.
Gillian: Does tomorrow work for scheduling a time to see it?
Or this week at least? I’m hoping to move in before Solstice, if possible.
And um, I’d like that copy of the rental agreement you mentioned, thanks.
I don't mind helping the neighbor with her kid sometimes, but if it's the sort of thing where I have to drop everything to watch a kid if I want to keep living there, I don't want to waste your time.
There, I answered his questions. Now I just have to wait and see what he says. I don't expect a response right away, so my phone buzzing startles me.
Harvey: Here's a link to a copy of the agreement. But to be crystal clear, Clara leaves managing the place to me when I place tenants with her, so if she ever gave you the slightest coercive vibe, I'd expect you to come to me so I can help you find another place where you feel safe.
The response is a little weird, it's not like I asked him to be my realtor or find me a place. Still, it is reassuring.
Gillian: Um, okay? So, you vouch for her then?
Harvey: Yes. Or I wouldn't place my kids with her. Sorry, I'm used to renting to shifters who come to Four Corners from precarious situations, I'm protective of them. You didn't come to me for that, though. I didn't mean to overstep.
Oh. Right. Harvey's strays. I know he takes in shifters like me who don't have a big sister like True to pluck them out of a rip tide and ferry them back to calmer waters.
Winny told me about her brother-in-law being one such stray.
I can probably trust Harvey if what she said about him is accurate.
Gillian: No, I appreciate it. A lot. I've probably got a lot in common with your strays.
Harvey: They aren't strays. They're my kids and they've got a pack as long as I'm around. That extends to octopus shifters, if you need it to.
Gillian: Okay. Um. I think I want to rent that room. If I can?
Harvey: Come by the diner tomorrow around nine.
Clara and her kid usually come in for fresh donuts on Thursdays.
I'll introduce you and she can give you the tour and tell you about the other tenant she's got lined up.
All Clara told me so far is that she is a dear friend from her flock who wants to be closer to Clara and Luca.