Chapter 14 #3
"No, Winifred. I didn't know it was you until just now. Clara just said a flockmate was moving in to help with expenses with the flock housing stipend since I've had the unit empty for longer than expected and keeping it habitable through the winter gets expensive."
"Uh huh. So, when you saw us here yesterday, you had no reason to suspect the housing thing was a way of nudging us together?"
"Pft," Harvey snorts at the idea. "Getting you the last piece of pie with two forks to share is a nudge, building your nest in your mate's house without ever actually discussing it is more of a bird move, from what I've seen with Seb and my Rollie."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, those two are as dense as rocks with the way they danced around being mates for ages after we could all see they were in love.
But that's beside the point. You can see why I'm asking, what are the odds of the two of us moving in together the morning after our first date by pure chance? "
"Guess you should get a lotto ticket tonight, while that luck's on your side," Harvey jokes.
"It's like getting struck by lightning!" I wave my hands in the air, because it's so absurd I just can't contain the ridiculousness.
At the same time, Gillian says, voice so soft and full of wonder that I barely hear her, "It's like fate."
I whip around to meet her gaze and she swallows hard, but she nods and repeats herself, her certainty lodging in the center of my chest and nestling in like a warm, reassuring weight. Like how I feel wrapped in all her arms.
"It's like fate pulling us together."
I'm still not convinced that fated mates are real. But it hardly matters why we seem to be drawn together like magnets when I can't think of a single reason not to take the hand chance has dealt us and see what happens.
"Something like that, huh? So what do you say? Roommates?" I stick out my hand to shake on it.
Gillian bites her lip and her hesitation feels like the first plunge of flight, before my wings would catch me and hold me aloft. Or like the shock of cold water hitting my face when I dive into the pool. I hold steady, waiting for what she has to say.
"I'm not saying no. But I wanted to meet Clara and any possible roommate before finalizing anything to be sure I won't have to worry about getting kicked out if…just if I upset you or we break up or anything really."
I follow that worry train to the obvious conclusions and my hurt over the perceived rejection turns into compassion for the wounds that scarred over into this fear. She's trusting me with a lot by telling me this, even so abstractly.
"I never want you to feel trapped with me. Or unsafe. Or worried that I'd do that to you. Even if we break up. What if we take it slow?"
Gillian snorts. "Slow how? We've been on one date and we're already talking about sharing an address."
"Slow like, for now, we aren't moving in together as girlfriends.
Just roommates. We keep dating, but we each have our own rooms and we act the same as if those rooms weren't under the same roof until we're both comfortable with the idea of impromptu sleepovers and actual living together level of commitment. "
"You sure?"
"Yeah. It's like how we do things at the flock housing. We're all family, and folks date all the time so it would be easy to just barge into a partner's space whenever we wanted, but we don't unless that's the agreement between the two shifters in question."
"Oh. That's…not how octopus shifters do things.
I think that could work. My octopus doesn't always love having anyone in her space.
So, um, I like the idea of having my own space indefinitely if that's cool?
Not that I don't ever want to share space like…
uh, last night." She rushes through the last part sounding flustered, which confuses me until she glances toward Harvey, her eyes coloring peach with embarrassment.
Ah, I forgot he was still standing there, not that we're talking about anything too intimate.
Those details will keep for later, as long as we're agreed on the broad strokes of how this might work.
I hope she agrees. I love the idea of folding this new connection with Gillian into the fresh start I'm making with my own little chosen flock. I want Gillian to be part of that.
"And my offer to help you find another living arrangement, like I do for all my kids still stands," Harvey says gruffly.
Gillian's tense posture relaxes and she grasps my hand in both of hers finally. "Okay, I think we can see how it goes."
"Yeah? Roommates and girlfriends?" I grin, lifting her hand to my lips to graze her knuckles in a kiss.
I want to kiss her face, but I might get carried away and Clara and Luca are still waiting for us to join them, so more celebrating will have to wait.
Soon enough, we can celebrate to our hearts' content in our new place.
"Seems that way, yes." Gillian agrees, her tentative smile firming into something more genuine.
"Come on then, I'll introduce you to Clara and her kid." I pull my girlfriend over to meet my best friend and her son.
Luca recognizes Gillian from the shifter school.
They get talking about some popular kid's book he's reading as I eat my donuts.
Gillian sits pressed against my uninjured side and we don't unclasp our hands except for a brief moment when she signs the lease paperwork.
Harvey makes copies of it in the back office for her and Clara.
While Gillian answers Luca's quizzing about her favorite dinosaurs, Clara eyes me shrewdly.
More to the point, she watches the way I don't let go of Gillian's hand.
It's the sort of questioning look that says she wants all the details of my budding relationship later, but she sips her coffee and only asks how Luca's session went.
Then we all make small talk long past the time the last donut is reduced to a smear of icing on Luca's face.
We part ways with promises to follow up on our vague plans to get moved in before Solstice so we can keep at least part of the vigil with Clara and Luca.
I'm all but floating as I head home. It's early days, but that went better than I had any right to expect and it feels like a solid first flight for our cobbled together flock of mostly flightless shifters.
It’s the first time I can recall sitting down for a family meal and feeling fully present, not having to hide any part of myself or swallow down the way it feels to be watched with pity anytime flight comes up, even as a figure of speech.
With these people, I feel like I can be enough. It's damn near perfection.
Solstice is coming in a matter of days, but I'm pretty sure my darkest day is already in the rearview. I've already got my Solstice wish right here with me.