Chapter 15 #3
"Ew, cannibalism. But colorful language aside, yep.
I believe you, and I trust you to know what you need.
It sounds like you've thought through how the relationship part will work for you.
And, for what it's worth, I know you. You let her sleep in your hide once already, so she's someone special.
Your egg-ception." She teases, bumping her hip gently against mine. I bump her back.
"Rude. Eggs have nothing to do with anything," I scowl at her.
"Sure. It's early days. I get that. And I get that it wasn't just empty talk about your octopus needing her own territory.
You need that. Why do you think I pulled strings to nudge Newt into doing an unscheduled creature feature with the kiddos today?
" Trudy flashes me a rueful grin, her octopus arm coils tighter around my shoulders and it's only when she brushes over my limbs that I realize that I didn't just imagine shifting in my second set of forearms under my shirt to hold myself together earlier, I've got them wrapped around me in a reflexive self soothing hug.
"Ha! I knew you put him up to that." I wave an apple peeling at her, then set it aside to start plating the already cut fruit.
"Figured it would make the conversation with the kids easier.
" She quarters and cuts the core out of the last apple.
Pretending like the simple task demands both of our full attention makes it easier to discuss this, but it's still scary to broach the core of how my move ties to our relationship as sisters.
"Yeah. Definitely helped. Thanks." I give her a tight smile, then go back to idly rearranging the slices on each plate. "So, um, I guess it will be a relief to have me out of your territory?"
"No." Trudy shakes her head and sets the knife on the cutting board to meet my eyes. "I know your aquatic instincts run deeper and closer to the surface than mine do, so I get why you'd ask, but it's not like that for me. I listen to my instincts, but on land I trust my human side's lead more."
"It's more complicated than that for me. She's part of me, but for a long time after you moved out, she was the only one looking out for me, the only one I could talk to. So, I learned to listen more, without questioning and she kept us safer than I could."
"It kills me that I couldn't take you with me, kid."
"You couldn't have known what she'd be like without you around. Besides, you came back for me when you could actually help."
"I knew it wasn't good, but yeah. You're right, I didn’t know how bad." Trudy dry-washes her face. "Do you know why I wanted to study marine biology?"
"Uh? Is that a trick question? We're octopus shifters, True.
You wanted to study us, and protect our static cousins and the ecosystems we're part of, and come up with new cures that sound practically magical.
Bacteria that conduct electricity instead of buried powerlines, and waterproof glue, and antibiotics, and who knows what else. You're practically a science wizard."
"Sure, I'm a badass, that's old news." Trudy snorts and musses my hair before pulling me into a rough hug.
I tense, then relax into her, softening more with every word she says, "No, Gillian, those are all parts of the reason I love my work, once I learned more about the field. But the thing that made me choose my career path? That was all you.”
“Huh? How?” I gawp at her as she tilts my entire perception of her career. I’ve always felt like a burden to her, but she’s saying that’s not how she sees me.
“You showed me how to question the world, even the parts that seem obvious.
You showed me what it is to be a scientist. I started on this path because I wanted to understand my little sister who felt more comfortable in her aquatic skin than her human body.
I wanted to understand what would make you feel safe and all the little ways you show you care.
Remember how you used to leave little piles of pretty pebbles in my shoes?
And the wrappers from the sugary contraband granola bars Mom didn't know I got for you tucked under my pillow if I had late activities so I wasn't home to have dinner with you. "
I snort and shove out of her embrace to wipe at my suddenly watery eyes. "You got so mad!"
"Yeah, well, crumbs itch and Mom would have been pissed if she found them. But now I know that was your clumsy little kid’s way of decorating with the shells of your prey as a sign of affection." She teases me. "It was sweet."
"My octopus needed to know you knew we appreciated you sharing the prey," I admit.
"She is you," True reminds me, but there's none of the worry that I don't actually realize that anymore. It's just semantics.
"Yeah.” I nod. “I needed you to know, and her instincts gave me a way to express it."
"I figured out it was your way of showing you were thinking of me.
But not really understanding the logic is why I wanted to learn more.
So, to reiterate. It's fine if you need a territory of your own to feel comfortable and safe.
Whatever happens, just know that my octopus doesn't have the same territorial streak as yours.
You belong in any territory where I belong.
Always. Lincoln agrees to that, too, by the way.
He's always known saying no to taking you in was a dealbreaker.
I told him early on about Mom's abuse and how having a place for my little sister to land as soon as you were legally able to leave was non-negotiable. "
"Oh." I take a shaky breath. We don't usually talk about emotions this bluntly, let alone Mom. Certainly not that bluntly. "I guess I know that? That's why it hurt so much when I thought you wanted me gone after what happened with Marina"
"I know. I'm sorry I made you doubt I'd be here for you for even a moment. I handled that badly, I wish I could do it over again." Trudy meets my gaze, letting her chromatophores shine bright sapphire blue with the conviction behind her words.
"It's already forgiven," I say. That's true, and it still feels good to have her affirm she understands why it hurt so much.
"I wish I could go back and catch Marina before it happened.
Even if that would have meant never meeting Winny.
" I didn't mean to say that last part out loud, and part of me wonders if I really would choose to undo our first meeting, given the chance and knowing both kids were unharmed.
I can't say with the same clarity and that's hard to admit.
"Well, those are regrets we both have to live with. Who's Winny?" Trudy asks. “Your girlfriend?”
"Practical shoes and a penchant for pre-dawn swims," I tease.
"You like her," Trudy teases back, all sing-song.
Like we're teenagers sharing our first crushes.
It hits me that we should have had this moment as teens.
We didn't and the ache of missing out on that sisterly bonding milestone fades into the warm sweetness of getting to share it now.
Here, where I can be fully myself with her.
"She's amazing. I can't even describe how she makes me feel," I say.
"Yeah, your colors are all swirly, so I got that impression." Trudy gestures toward my face.
"Pretty much.” I bite my lip, she didn’t ask the obvious question about what any of that has to do with Marina. So I volunteer the information that might ruin this beautiful bonding moment. “Um, her nibling was the bear cub from the pool the other day.”
“I see.” Trudy takes a moment to visibly collect herself, a flash of red that fades to contrition in a heartbeat.
“I spoke with the other child’s parents.
And knowing both kids are fine, I can see that these things happen, no matter how vigilant you are.
I’m still upset that it happened to my baby, but I guess it makes sense that you two bonded over a scary moment like that.
And everyone I spoke to said both of you handled the situation exceptionally well to keep both kids safe.
So, I won’t hold that incident against her if she’s this important to you. ”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “She is. It's like she takes the time to really see me, True. You know how you said when you met Linc, you knew he was the one? Love at first sight?"
Trudy guffaws. "Not quite the first sight.
Our first meeting was when I nabbed the internship at the lab.
He was a lowly research assistant, so he got assigned to supervise us interns.
At first, he was a part of the scenery. Teaching us the lab's specific protocols and answering questions.
I didn't give him a second glance. Not until the end of our first week.
I'd been preparing to present my first weekly report to Dr. Helicanth, the head of our team.
You know, everyone's big scary boss? Except there was an issue with the breakroom coffee maker that morning. So Helicanth sent me, the only femme presenting graduate student intern out of a half dozen of us, to get coffee for the entire lab.”
“Ew sexism.” I pull a face
“Exactly.” Trudy nods approvingly. “When I got back, Linc got my attention for the first time because he had already started running my analysis for me while I was running errands.
There was almost nothing left for me to do by the time I got back, since it was time sensitive.
And he talked over me when it was my turn to present my results during our review session.
I wanted to throw the coffee at him. Or throttle him with all eight of my arms." She laughs.
I stare at my sister, shocked that I haven't heard this part of her love story before. "You didn't!"