Beau
Juniper berry.
Birdie had given my daughter the sweetest nickname.
I wouldn’t ever know if Rosa had a special name for her.
And as mad as I was at the woman I’d only known for one night of my life, I was more hurt for the little girl sitting in the back seat of my truck.
A nickname was something we could have kept alive for her.
Something of her mother’s for her to carry through her life.
I hadn’t told Birdie, but the few minutes I’d spent upstairs before getting Juniper into the truck were used to call the coroner’s office.
And now I had everything squared away for Rosa to come to the ranch. My eyes flicked over to Birdie, who was sitting with her hands tightly clasped together in her lap.
The image of Birdie and Juniper together at the breakfast table was seared into my memory. Because as fucked up as everything had been over the last twenty-four hours, something about the morning together felt so…right.
I knew I was an asshole for asking her to stay. I saw her face last night, in the moments when she thought I wasn’t watching. One thing she never hid from me was how badly she wanted her own family one day. And now, she thought I only wanted her to stay because of the baby.
I was trying my hardest to convince myself that it was okay, because it gave me time. Time to figure out how the hell I was going to juggle fatherhood and the ranch, sure, but also time to figure out how to make Birdie see she was always meant to be right by my side.
Fuck, my heart was beating out of my chest as we made our way up the driveway. I’d normally fly down the dirt road that connected my house to Lachlan’s, but with Juniper in the back, I just couldn’t seem to find the courage to tap the gas.
Everyone’s vehicles were already parked, and my family was inside my brother’s house. There was no turning back.
“Can I take her out of her car seat?” Birdie asked as she released the latch on her seat belt.
“Of course. I…”
Her eyebrow quirked up. “What?”
“I’d like for you to carry her inside, so we can present a united front. I mean, I’m not sure what my family’s reaction is going to be, other than to tell me I’m a dumbass for thinking I can become a dad overnight and take care of her on my own. I think it will help if they know I’m not.”
Birdie’s brows furrowed. “Not…?”
“On my own. Right? You’re not having second thoughts about moving in for a while, are you?”
She smiled, her hand coming over to rest on my forearm. “Of course, you’re not alone. We’re in this together, remember? Until you feel more confident, I’ve got your back.”
“Together.” It felt like more than a promise of a few weeks’ time to help me adjust. It felt like something I wanted to hold onto forever.
I looked up at the front window of Lachlan’s place. Colt was standing, looking out at me, Connor in his arms. Holy fuck. We were both dads now. When would the shock stop dumping adrenaline over me? Was this what he felt all the time? Was this what it was like to be a parent?
Birdie slid out the door, and I cursed myself under my breath. That wasn’t something she did. No matter what, I opened the door for her. If Ma was watching, she’d tan my hide.
She’d have two reasons to tan my hide today, I guess.
I came around the other side of the truck and watched as Birdie’s hand went to her side.
Guilt slammed into me. I hadn’t even remembered to ask her about how she got hurt.
She brushed off whatever happened last night, but it was serious enough that she was still in pain today.
I’d been so wrapped up in Juniper that I’d lost sight of that.
“Hey,” I growled, “you need to let me see your side. And you need to tell me what the hell happened.”
“Later,” she replied, patting my chest. “We need to get your daughter inside.”
“Fine, but you’re telling me what happened when we’re done here. The ride into town to get Juniper some things ought to be enough time for you to go over everything.”
“Sure thing, Cowboy.” Birdie winked. “Let’s just make sure you’re still alive to go into town with us.” She nodded towards the window where my father now stood, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trained on me.
“Shit,” I hissed. “If my dad freaks out—”
“I’ll walk outside with her, don’t worry. And give your dad some credit, he’s worked hard to make up for how he reacted about Jessie being pregnant.”
That was true. Hell, he wasn’t the only one in our family who reacted poorly to Jessie’s news three years ago. Hayes and I iced her out hard, for weeks. Fuck, I was an asshole. I loved Beckett so much, it gutted me how I first reacted.
And I’d done the same to Violet, Colt’s wife.
She’d come back to town a handful of months ago after being gone for ten years.
I hadn’t wanted to accept her back into the family.
I hadn’t been able to forgive her for divorcing my brother, and then having the stones to show back up in town, heavily pregnant. But I’d been wrong about her, too.
I was about to eat some crow. And I deserved to.
“Take a breath, then we need to go. Half your family is staring out the window already. Let’s not keep them waiting.”
Somehow Birdie had Juniper out of her car seat, cradled against her chest with the diaper bag slung over her shoulder. How long had I been spiraling?
“You’re a natural,” I whispered as I took the bag from her.
“You are, too. Give yourself some credit. The last twelve hours or so have been a bit of a whirlwind.”
I slid my fingers to the small of Birdie’s back. “Understatement of the century, Chickadee.”
Her hand landed against my chest, and just like in the kitchen, I couldn’t stop myself—I pressed a kiss to her forehead, and hoped she felt how grateful I was for her.
We walked up the front steps and into Lachlan’s house, not bothering to knock.
I was, after all, the reason why everyone was gathered there.
Time seemed to stop moving the second I gently nudged Birdie into the house.
My dad and Colt were the closest to us at the front window.
Lachlan was on the couch, next to Hayes, who was so deep in sleep that his mouth was hanging open.
Must have been a rough night at the fire house.
“Bobo!” my nephew, Beckett, squealed as he charged towards me.
I almost broke out a smile from his mismatched outfit: a cowboy hat proudly displayed on top of his head, white t-shirt covered in dinosaurs, and camouflage shorts.
The kid was barefoot, as always. That’s how it should be.
I had no doubt that one day Juniper would come home from playing outside with her cousins, and I’d have to tell her to hose her feet off out back before she stepped foot inside, just like Ma had yelled at me growing up.
“Birdie!” My sister, Jessie—the youngest of all my siblings—gasped, rushing forward, but not after her son. Beckett bonked into my legs, giving me a big hug.
“Hey, kid,” I whispered, getting a big smile back as his hat tumbled down to the floor.
Jessie’s eyes locked on Juniper. “Who is this?”
Birdie turned, looking over her shoulder at me. I stepped up beside her, pulling my hat off my head. The place where I was still touching her buzzed with nervous energy.
“This is my daughter, Juniper,” I admitted.
The room froze. Dad’s mouth dropped open, Colt’s eyes narrowed on me, Hayes snored from the spot on the sofa, and Ma’s eyes bounced between my face and the baby held in my best friend’s arms. Jessie’s husband, Hawk, was smiling like he’d just won the lottery, and my brother Lachlan’s mouth hung open in disbelief.
“What on God’s green Earth do you mean your daughter?! Beau Lindsay Ford, you cannot play with your mama’s heart like that!”
Birdie’s shoulders shook with the laughter she was trying to hold in at my mother using my middle name.
“That’s the second time in the last twenty-four hours someone has called me by my full government name,” I muttered, wanting to sink into the floor.
“Are you going to answer your mother?” my dad asked, arms still folded across his chest, eyes pulled tight as he peered at me.
“I’m not lying. Juniper is my daughter.”
“You had a kid, and you kept her from us?” Colt asked. “She doesn’t look much younger than Connor. Is that why…you stayed quiet?”
“I wasn’t hiding her,” I groaned, the unease I’d felt since holding her for the first time bubbling in my stomach. “I had no idea she even existed until last night! Some lady in a pantsuit came knocking on my door, saying I had a daughter I never knew anything about. And here we are.”
“What about her mother?” Jessie asked. “Who is she? Where is she?”
I swallowed, my throat aching for Juniper. My eyes looked over at my brother, Hayes, still fast asleep on the couch despite all the commotion around him. A pang of jealousy hit me square in the chest. “Remember that trip Hayes and I took last year to Austin?”
Heat scorched my cheeks as I realized Birdie was going to have to hear this all over again.
“Yeah, I remember Hayes saying you had a bad hangover after.” Jessie smiled.
“I slept with Rosa that night.”
“Rosa,” Ma whispered, her eyes softening as she stared at the little girl in Birdie’s arms.
“Was Rosa the woman at your door? Why isn’t she here now?
” Lachlan asked. Jessie cringed, her hand coming up to rest on Birdie’s arm.
But my best friend gave me a small smile filled with support.
She was an angel, and I didn’t fucking deserve her.
Again, would it be too much to ask the floor to open up and swallow me whole?
Working my hat over in my hands, I cleared my throat.
“The woman who came to the door was with Child Protective Services. She told me that Rosa…” I swallowed, looking down at Beckett who was shockingly still paying attention to what we were saying.
My brother-in-law got the message, nodding at me as he scooped Beckett up.