Birdie
Ipushed the shopping cart through aisle after aisle of baby goodies, the smile on my face not wavering for a single second. Because for years, after shifts or when shopping for friends, I would imagine coming here to get things for my own baby one day.
“What did Vi say to you?” Beau’s question pulled me from my thoughts.
“Huh?”
“When you two were in the kitchen. When I thought my family might start pummeling the…” he placed his hands over Juniper’s little ears, “shit out of me for not wanting a paternity test.”
“Oh.” I bit my bottom lip. “She asked me if I was okay.”
His face fell. “And what did you say?”
“I told her the truth—that I’m worried about you beating yourself up for not knowing about Juniper before last night.
I’m sad that the two of you could have known each other for all this time.
Anxious over the thought that if something so tragic hadn’t happened, you might never have known about having a daughter out in the world. ”
His jaw worked back and forth. “That’s all about me and Juniper. She asked if you are okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked as I turned back to the shelf, grabbing a lavender soap that would be gentle on Juniper’s skin.
“Do they have citrus?”
“Citrus what?”
“Soap. For babies.”
“Oh, uh…I think citrus oils might be too harsh for their skin. Why?”
His cheeks flushed under the brim of his hat.
“You like lemons. I noticed you swapped out your body wash a few weeks ago at the ranch. It used to be that stuff that smelled more like wildflowers and mint. But now it always smells like a lemon farm when you shower. And that perfume you always wear is…well, it smells like lemons to me. You mentioned last night to the social worker she should have something that smelled like her mom.”
“Beau…”
“She’s going to get used to you, and I just thought, if I could give her a bath with something that smelled like you on the nights you have to work and can’t be there with us—”
God, my throat ached. “That is the sweetest thought. I’m not sure this little shop will have something like that, but we’ll figure something out.”
Beau pulled his hat off his head as I grabbed an industrial sized box of wipes off the shelf, rubbing his eyebrows with overwhelmed written all over his face.
My side ached, but it was easy enough to cover with my smile.
Juniper was fast asleep on his chest in the carrier Violet had insisted we stop over to get before driving into town.
She was right—it was a lifesaver. And I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at the two of them together.
It was so precious, the way he bounced when we stopped walking, or the way he kept kissing her head and sniffing her skin.
I wasn’t even sure he realized he was doing it, but Beau had taken to fatherhood exactly how I knew he would.
“What’s left on the list?” he asked, looking over at me with wide eyes.
“Overwhelmed?” I teased.
“Yeah, just a little.”
“Okay. Well, honestly, we just need to grab her a bedside bassinet if you’re dead set against using the playpen again before the crib gets delivered, and we can probably get by with just a few more outfits.
I can order stuff online when we get home…
eh, back to the ranch…” Cue the embarrassment. It was their home, not mine.
“Okay. Let’s divide and concur because I feel like I could fall asleep standing up, and I want to get you both home.” I looked over my shoulder at him, and that man had the audacity to wink at me. I guess he had heard my little flub.
“Sure. I’m going to go grab the bassinet while you go over to the clothes, and I’ll meet you there.”
“No.” He stopped me with a hand on my arm. “I should grab the bassinet. You’ll be better at picking out her clothes.”
“Sorry, Cowboy, but did you just insinuate you man, you pick up heavy box. Me silly woman, go pick out clothes?” I asked in my best caveman voice.
“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just—”
“Go get your daughter some clothes. She’s in a four to six month outfit right now, but it’s a little snug. So get her some in that size, but also a few in six to nine months, okay?”
He nodded. “Alright, little one. Let’s go make Birdie proud and pick out some new things for you to wear.”
“I believe in you.” I laughed. “You’ve got this.”
I turned, walking back toward the baby furniture, when I saw two familiar faces.
“Well hey, you two!” I smiled as I pushed the cart over to my friends, Stone and Mae Lawson. “Getting some last minute things ready for the baby?”
Mae was sitting down in one of the store’s display rocking chairs, her hand rubbing little circles over her belly.
Both she and Stone worked at Montgomery Defense, a security firm in town.
Stone also worked as an EMT with the fire department, so we crossed paths from time to time in the emergency room.
“Hey, Birdie. Thank God there’s only two more weeks until this girl has gotta get up outta me. I’m so ready. Sully, help me up?” Mae’s hands extended out in front of her, and Stone jumped from the display of soft books over to grab his wife’s hands.
“I know.” I watched as she stood, her belly much lower than the last time I saw her in the clinic. “Your belly dropped. Are you breathing better?”
“God, yes. It’s been amazing the last few days. But now she feels…”
“Like she’s between your legs?” I laughed.
Mae smiled and nodded.
“I don’t know, guys, I hope you have your bags packed because I don’t think it’s going to be long now.”
Stone smiled. “Don’t get her hopes up too much, Birdie. I’ll never hear the end of it if she doesn’t go into labor before our next appointment.”
Mae smacked his chest playfully.
“I’m not that bad.”
“No, Michaela, you’re not. I’m just teasing.”
“So,” Mae’s eyes shimmered as she looked back at me, “what are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re already grabbing your gift for Seb and Emma. I’m so far behind, it’s not even funny!”
“No. I’m not here for that. Although, that was a good reminder that I need to look at their registry. I’m actually here with—”
“Hey, guys!” Beau’s hand slipped into mine as he stepped into the little furniture display area with us. I watched as shock and confusion filled our friends’ faces. Mae’s eyes were locked in on where our hands were connected, and Stone was locked in on Juniper.
“I think I’m going to need to sit down again! What is going on? Who is that sweet baby strapped to your chest?”
“Uh, it’s a long story…” Beau started to say, his eyes searching for help.
“This is Beau’s daughter, Juniper. We didn’t know about her until last night, so it’s been a bit of a whirlwind for all of us.” I smiled, but noticed immediately the questioning look Mae was giving me.
“Wow. I mean…Congratulations, man.” Stone held out his hand for Beau to shake.
“She’s beautiful,” Mae whispered. “How old is she?”
“A little over four months.”
“We’ll have to get them together for play dates,” Mae offered, pointing from her belly to Juniper. “That would be so cute!”
She walked over to Beau, rubbing her hand on Juniper’s back through the carrier. “What a sweet girl. She has your eyes.”
“Yeah, she does,” he agreed. “Did you get the bassinet yet?” he asked me.
I shook my head, smiling as I looked into the shopping cart. “Not yet. But I see you went all out on a wardrobe.”
“Too many cute things; I just grabbed one of everything in those two sizes. I’ll show you them all when we get home.”
Mae turned, slowly making her way to me and threading her arm through mine.
“Michaela, where are you going?” Stone asked.
“Oh, you know, I’m just going to steal Birdie away for one second to show her the cutest little dress I think would be perfect for Juniper,” Mae replied as she slipped her arm through mine. “Maybe you can help Beau get the bassinet he needs? We’ll be right back.”
I could almost feel her vibrating with the strain of attempting to keep quiet until we were far enough away from the guys that they wouldn’t hear whatever she wanted to say to me. Finally surrounded by baby pajamas, she let loose.
“Oh my God! Are you okay? What the hell is going on?”
“I’m fine, I promise.” I hoped I sounded reassuring, because I really was fine.
“Okay, because…correct me if I’m wrong—but it just seems like the man you’ve loved forever and ever just appeared in this store wearing a brand new, itty bitty baby, and said it’s his baby. And since I know you weren’t pregnant, that means he had a whole ass baby with someone else!”
“He did. He had a one night stand in Austin last year when he went to a rodeo with Hayes. Beau left his name and number, but Rosa never told him she got pregnant.”
“Rosa…I hate her. I’m Team Birdie for life.”
I gave a sad smile. “The only reason we know about Juniper is because Rosa died a few days ago. She never told him about the baby, but she did put him down on the birth certificate.”
“Holy shit. I really do think I’m going to need to sit down to hear the rest of the story. How are you still standing? Hearing this is making me light headed.”
I grabbed onto her arm. “Do you want to head back?”
“No! God, no. I need more details. All the details. I mean, you’re here shopping with him for things his secret baby needs. And he was holding your hand,” she hissed.
I shrugged, looking past her at a man shopping at the edge of the same section we were standing in.
It was one thing to talk to my friend about the situation, but nosey strangers around us didn’t need to hear what I had to say.
“It’s not what it looks like. I agreed to help him out for a few weeks as he figures out how being a dad works.
He’s actually doing amazing with her, I just think he’s really heartbroken over not knowing about her before now. ”
“So what? He asked you to be like a postpartum doula? Without him having to actually be postpartum? Wait, am I about to hate Beau?”
“No,” I laughed, “although I am really loving the ‘protect Birdie’ vibes you’re giving off today.”
“Always.”