Birdie #2
“Do you want to know what I see when I look at Juniper?” I closed my eyes for a second after I asked, trying to ground myself while pushing down the bitter emotion that clogged my throat when I thought about Beau’s pain.
Rosa had been so unfair to him. Hadn’t even given him a chance.
But part of my heart understood how hard it was to let someone help.
To trust someone to be there for you when you were vulnerable…
A warm touch on my face had my eyes fluttering open.
“What do you see when you look at her?” Beau asked.
“I see hope. I see a beautiful little soul that is going to grow up surrounded by so much love. I see someone who will be feisty and fierce, because you will teach her to stand up for herself and what’s right.
I see family dinners, and daddy-daughter dances.
I see the first time she barrel races against one of her cousins and gives them a whoopin’.
” His face inched closer to mine. God, my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. “But most of all, when I look at her, I see a mini version of my best friend. You may not have been there for the very start of her life, but you’re here now.
And you are going to be everything to her.
I know it’s so hard, but try to focus on that.
Don’t let the anger and regret take you away from what you have in this moment. ”
“In this moment,” he whispered, his eyes searching mine.
For what, though? Our faces were so close I could feel the heat of his breath against my lips.
Holy shit. Was Beau about to kiss me? I hope my eyes said my answer because…
Yes… fuck yes! Please, my brain begged. Please just lean a little closer and—
A wail came from the living room. Beau’s eyes closed as he backed away from me, raking his hands through his hair.
“I’ll get her,” I offered, my heart still pounding in my chest as I slid off his lap.
“Yeah, okay.” Beau cleared his throat, standing up and grabbing the papers scattered around the table. “I’ll grab all the paperwork we should need, and meet you by the door.”
He was going to kiss me. I knew it in my bones.
The door inside the pediatrician’s office opened, cool air filling the space as the doctor entered.
“Beau, it’s so great to see you. How have you been?
” Dr. Marissa DeLuca walked into the examination room, smiling brighter than I’d ever seen before.
We certainly didn’t cross paths frequently, but we both knew each other professionally.
She was someone I regularly recommended to my pregnant patients when they asked for family doctors in the area who would be good for their newborn.
But with the way her eyes had scanned Beau from head to toe the second she walked in, I was immediately regretting suggesting her for Juniper.
“Good. Obviously, I got the shock of my life learning I’m a dad, but we’re good.” He winked at me, and I nodded, forcing myself to relax my shoulders.
“I bet it was a shock. Look at her! She’s absolutely precious, though. I’m just going to listen to her heart and lungs, and then we can talk about medical history and care going forward.”
Beau and I both watched as Dr. DeLuca stepped toward Juniper and started her exam.
“Is she okay?” Beau’s hand laid protectively over Juniper’s belly a moment later. She was sprawled out on the examination table, her smile hidden by the pacifier in her mouth. But her eyes were giving her away—big, bright, and engaging with the world around her.
“She’s perfect!” Dr. DeLuca declared. “Height and weight in the sixtieth percentile, she’s got a strong core and great control of her head and neck. She’s right on track.”
I stepped closer to the table, tickling Juniper’s round belly as Dr. DeLuca began typing on her laptop. “She has a little rash starting here, in the fold of her neck. I’ve been putting powder and—”
“That’s very common at this age. Just try to keep it dry.” Marissa didn’t even look up at me as she answered. “Beau, do you have Juniper’s medical history? I saw they didn’t ask you for it at the front desk. It’s better if we get everything squared away on the first visit.”
I nodded, reaching into the bag slung over my shoulder. “Her records were in the files we were given from CPS.”
Dr. DeLuca’s smile fell as she took the paperwork from me. “Alright. This seems to be all in order. Now, she is due for some of her vaccinations today, do you still want to go ahead with that?”
Beau’s eyes dropped to Juniper. “She’s going to cry.”
Marissa laughed—a little too hard. I wouldn’t have cared, except her hand landed on Beau’s arm and I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop from growling.
What the hell was wrong with me? “Maybe. But she’s tough, just like her dad.
And you’ll give her some snuggles. I bet she forgets all about the little poke in a minute or two. ”
He nodded. “You're right. Who knew a little pipsqueak could make me so anxious. I feel like an elephant with a mouse in the room.”
“You look like one, too,” I joked.
“Okay, Daddy,” she cooed, still typing information into her laptop. “How much is she eating and how often?”
The tip of Beau’s ears turned red and he shifted his stance.
“She’s getting about five ounces every four hours, give or take,” I replied.
“Thank you, Birdie, but I like to hear directly from the patient’s parents when possible. They’re the ones there full time with the child, I’m sure you can understand.”
“She might,” Beau stepped over, keeping one hand on Juniper while placing his other on the small of my back.
He then wrapped it around my hip, pulling me into his side.
I hid the small wince from the pull in my side as best I could, though I can’t imagine he would have even noticed with the way his eyes were locked on Marissa.
“But I don’t. Do we have a problem, Dr. DeLuca? ”
Marissa’s eyes went wide. “No, of course not.”
“Good. Because Birdie has been with Juniper just as much as I have. In fact, more than I have, because of some ranch business I had to take care of. So, I trust her to give you accurate information about my daughter. And I expect you’ll be able to professionally take it.
Just because you saw me out with Hayes and Denver six months ago and invited yourself to sit at our table, doesn’t mean there’s anything going on between us, or that I want anything to go on between us. ”
Marissa looked stunned. “Birdie should know that as medical professionals, the best, most accurate information comes from our patients. When they are this little, it’s their parents that advocate best for them.”
“And in my mind, she is one of Juniper’s parents. Are you able to accept that, or should we find someone else to care for our daughter?”
Oh God. I was going to melt into a puddle. I didn’t dare let my heart hold onto those words, they would crush me if I did.
“Yes, of course. I understand.” She cleared her throat, and then he winked at me.
Again. This man was actively trying to kill me.
“I’m just going to go ahead and let the nurse know she can come in for Juniper’s vaccines.
Don’t forget to stop at the window on your way out.
We’ll want to see Juniper back for her six-month appointment. ”
“What was this check-up for? What milestone?” Beau asked.
She turned toward the door. “This will count as her four-month checkup, since that wasn’t in her records. You can have the scheduler put you in for closer to seven months if you want to wait a bit. That’s fine.”
“Thank you, Dr. DeLuca,” I said, my focus completely on the look Beau was giving me. As soon as the door closed, he started laughing.
“What?” I asked.
“You should have seen your face when she touched my arm. I thought you were going to claw her face off.”
I felt my face heating. “I don’t know what you are talking about. She was being unprofessional, and I didn’t want that for you and Juniper.”
“Did you hear that, berry girl? Birdie wasn’t staking a claim on us. Could have fooled me with the way she growled at the doctor, though.”
“I did not growl.” I laughed. “And like you were any better. I know you didn’t mean it like that, but saying you think of me like her parent, too—”
Beau’s entire body went still. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I know you just said it because you know I love her, too, and I’ll always protect her.”
“No. That’s not why I said it.”
“Oh…I don’t understand.”
“Birdie. I want—” A knock at the door silenced whatever Beau was about to say to me. He took a step back, his eyes going wide as one of the nurses in the office stepped into the room.
“Alright, Juniper. You’re going to have to show Daddy how brave you are. Think you can do that?” I held on to her wiggly little foot as the color drained from Beau’s face.