30. Berg
Chapter thirty
Berg
C aro’s knuckles are white as she clutches the plate holding her cake on her lap.
“Drive carefully!”
“I am, Carolina.”
“Yeah, Daddy, drive carefuller for Caro’s cake!”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “I’d hate for it to be lopsided.”
Caro gasps, jaw dropping dramatically. “How dare you?”
She’s being absolutely ridiculous about this cake and I sort of love it. It’s ugly. She knows it; I know it. But I suppose she doesn’t want it to get uglier, hence her panic about my driving skills. I’ve never been to one of my children’s school dances before. The girls have always attended with friends. But tonight it’s different. I’m wearing clothes that make me feel like a new man, and I have a date that makes me smile the second I see her .
“You should have seen the other cakes!”
I chuckle, slowing at a stoplight.
“Isn’t it going to be dark in there, anyway?”
“Why would it be dark?”
“It’s a dance. Mood lighting or whatever.”
“It’s at an elementary school. Tell me what type of mood exactly we’re trying to set?”
“I don’t know, but you’re setting some type of mood up in my truck right now. A grumpy one. Knock it off.”
“Oh my god, I see Maddie!” Natalie waves furiously at her friend from the backseat.
“You saw her three hours ago.”
We park and the girls take off to see Nat’s friend.
“You stay put. I’ll come to get that out of your lap.”
I walk around to her door, opening it and holding my hands out.
The second I receive it, I wobble the plate slightly. “Woah!”
Caro’s hand flies out to try to steady me as I pretend to stumble, even though I have a death grip on it.
“I don’t even know why I like you,” she says when I grin to let her know I was joking around.
She shakes her head.
“Like? After everything we did before this?”
“A strong like.”
“If a strong dislike is a synonym for hate, does that mean a strong like is another way to say love?”
“What’s gotten into you? ”
“I don’t know. I guess I strongly like my date for the school dance.”
Caro slides out of the truck and kisses me sweetly on the cheek before retrieving the plate and following my daughters.
“I’d tell you not to drop it, but…” I let my voice trail off.
“Daddy! We need the tickets or we can’t go in. Come on.” Louisa runs up to me with her fists on her hips.
She slips her tiny hand into mine and we follow the music toward the dance.
***
The volunteers have outdone themselves and even though kids are screaming and running in every direction, it’s pretty incredible how they’ve done up the gym with fairy lights and metallic balloons. After sliding Caro’s cake into an empty space on the auction table, we trail behind the girls for a bit until we lose sight of them completely. We stand shoulder to shoulder, not speaking, as I awkwardly bob my head to the music.
“I’ll go get us a drink?” she offers.
“I don’t suppose they have booze?”
She rolls her eyes at me and disappears toward the drink and snack tables.
Like she has some sort of tracking beacon on me, Tamara appears out of nowhere.
“Oh, Dad’s here!” Her voice is high pitched. “Did you take a peek at my cake yet, Berg? ”
For Christ’s sake.
I pat my stomach. “Nah, I think I’ll lay off the cake.”
To my horror, Tamara reaches out to poke me over my shirt. “Seems hard to me!” More peals of laughter escape her. “Well, you know what’s excellent exercise? Dancing! C’mon.”
Without even waiting for my response, she loops her arm around my elbow with surprising strength and tugs me to the dance floor. I have my mouth open to turn her down, but I can barely hear myself as we get closer to the speakers that are set up around the makeshift dancing area.
“I really am glad you found that nanny, Berg,” she says, getting in close so I can hear her.
My teeth grit at the way she refers to her. Even before we got intimate, Caro was never just ‘that nanny’.
“And why’s that?”
I kind of get the sense she wasn’t a big fan of Caro.
“Well, it’s obvious you needed a little help.”
Oh. My jaw flexes and I take a step backwards when I feel her breasts brush my chest, trying to maintain a respectable distance.
“And maybe you’ll have more evenings free now?”
“Caro works during the day. When the kids need her and stuff around the house needs doing. Evening is when I spend time with my children.”
I can’t help but think about all the nights Caro has stayed to hang out once the girls are in bed. Those simple hours where we talk are some of the best .
“Right, obviously! But you need to have fun and relax too. It’s about balance, Berg. All work and no play, you know?”
I glance up and see Caro standing in the spot she left me a few minutes ago, two pop cans in her hands, looking around for me. Right when she catches my eye, Tamara runs her fingers up the centre of my chest in a gesture that probably looks very intimate in the dim lighting. A hurt expression flashes across Caro’s face before she drops her gaze to the drinks. Taken aback by Tamara’s boldness, I whip my head back to face her where she’s staring me down with shining eyes.
“I think a date between us is long overdue, don’t you think? Successful single mom, lonely dad. It’s a match made in heaven.”
I’m shaking my head in an instant.
“I’m not interested in you romantically. Do you understand that?” I hold her at arm's length, firmly by her shoulders, and watch her saccharine smile fade.
“Maybe I should have made that clearer to you before now. I’m not some lonely, inept, sad sack. My daughters are my life and it’s perfect. If we choose to add someone to our family, it won’t be because we’re empty, or something is missing, it’ll be because they bring extra happiness. Extra love.”
Her chin dimples in the centre. Making a woman cry on the dancefloor is not my finest moment, but her subtle flirtations have gone on too long. I let it go on.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. ”
“I know,” I say, tugging on the back of my neck with both hands as I step away to find Caro.
I only glimpse her back, blonde curls tumbling down it, as she slips out of the gymnasium, into the night.
“Fuck.”
An hour ago, she was naked on my bed. Mere minutes ago, I was pressing her about feelings for me. And now she saw Tamara with her paws running up and down my chest. From where she was standing, I’d imagine it looked bad. Really bad. The metallic door clangs as I push it open with force, going after her.
I’m relieved when I find her leaning against a wall. One side of her face lit up.
“I needed some fresh air before the cake auction,” she says, voice thick as she tries to come off nonchalant.
“Caro.”
“I understand. I really do.”
“That makes one of us,” I tell her.
“That’s the type of woman you should be with, Berg. Tamara is…well she’s everything. She’s rich and classy and makes really nice cakes and–”
Moving to stand directly in front of her, I plant my hands on the cool stone on either side of her head.
“And I’m not remotely interested in someone like that. She’s pushy and awkward with the girls…”
Caro stops inspecting the asphalt and tilts her head back to look up at me.
“...and she bought that fucking cake, Caro. ”
She lets out a watery laugh and sniffles. “You think?”
“I know. Were they in white boxes? With a pink sticker?”
“Yeah, but–”
“There’s no way she made it. I can guarantee you that those are the exact boxes that West Coast Confections uses.”
“Oh, my god.” She wipes her nose. “What a…cow! You should have seen the look she gave my cake! They are supposed to be home made! The email had explicit instructions!”
I almost laugh at how riled up she’s getting.
“It’s all smoke and mirrors with her, Caro. But with you…”
I lean in, brushing my nose against hers. The steady bass of the music thumps in the background, a light breeze blowing across the back of my neck.
“With you, it’s real. Authentic.”
Her hands settle on my shoulders, sliding down my arms as far as my biceps.
“Berg, you told me you needed something really serious in this ‘stage of life’. And maybe that’s not me.”
“Did I say that?”
Her hands feel so fucking good on my arms. The heat of her body makes me want to press her flat against this wall.
“Mmm hmm.”
“I don’t remember. I have a terrible memory. One time I even forgot I had a new tenant moving in.”
She laughs, loud and clear, in the empty schoolyard.
“What we have is serious, Caro. I can’t keep you off my mind for more than a few breaths. It’s a struggle to keep the girls from running down to see you on weekends. They want you involved in whatever we’re doing, and I’m right there with them.”
“Sometimes I hear you guys upstairs or see you leave in the truck and wonder where you’re going. I always want to tag along, but I don’t want to insert myself into your family if…”
She trails off.
“If what?”
Caro's voice trembles with emotion. “If I can’t actually be part of your family.”
"You've been part of this family for months and I'm sorry if I didn't make that clearer to you. I'm not sure we'd even feel complete without you at this point."
My heart flutters with what must be hope. I've laid so much on the line.
"I don't think I realized how much I needed to hear that," she sniffles, a brave smile curving her lips.
I pull her tight against me, rocking her slowly in my arms.
“I lied at the beach,” I blurt, surprising myself with more bold honesty.
Now that I'm getting things off my chest, it's like I can’t hold back anymore.
“What do you mean?”
“I told you I still didn’t know what the future looks like for me and the girls. That was a load of crap. It looks like me and you and two crazy kids that keep us on our toes every second. It looks like sick days, and afternoons at the beach, and you finishing school.”
She laughs, and it's a joyful sound that grounds me.
“I want all that too but do you remember that you have two little girls unattended at a school dance?”
I scoff, “They’re fine.”
“You should get a nanny to watch them.”
“I tried that once, but I fell into strong like with her and now I don’t even know if she’ll want to be my nanny anymore.”
I cover her mouth in a hard kiss, buying more precious seconds with her. A sigh of surprise opens her lips, and I swipe over her tongue with my own. Her fingers dig into my arms, pulling me against her so I have no choice but to step forward. The hand that was against the wall slides down, cupping the back of her head to protect it from the rough surface. Our breaths are heavy and we deepen the kiss, making out behind a school in the dark like a couple of teenagers. With a groan, I pull my lips away, staring down at Caro and the dazed expression on her face. Even in the dim lighting, I can see her flushed cheeks and rising chest.
“That’s quite the coincidence, because I think I might have fallen in love with the man I’m nannying for too.”
“You have the worst damn timing, Berg MacMillan. Telling me you’re crazy about me in your truck outside Isaac’s? Professing your love outside an elementary school dance?”
I grin, relieved and perfectly happy to accept her tongue lashing. If the timing is the only thing she’s finding fault with here, that’s fine by me.