Chapter 23
Amelia
I look at the test strip in my hand as I sit on the toilet, waiting for it to tell me what I already believe to be true. The tacos sit forgotten on my bedroom table. That had only been a guise to go out to get the strip.
Although I wish I hadn’t put Tanner through the emotional stress he must have gone through searching for me, I didn’t want to have to scare them in case there was nothing to be worried about.
My heart skips a bit as the two lines begin to turn dark red on the stick. A gasp tears through my closed lips, and the stick shakes in my hand until it falls to the floor, clattering loudly.
How can I be pregnant?
I had sex without protection, but I…
Shit!
I haven’t been on birth control since I ended up here. And that was on me; I was sloppy and I most definitely should have thought about the possibility of getting laid. In my defense, I did not plan this at all.
Although I had been interested in them, it never occurred to me that they would reciprocate my interest, be it one or all of them.
What am I going to do now? How am I to know whose child it is?
I’d had sex with all of them, all at the same time. I get up from the toilet, suddenly feeling extremely exhausted.
What do I do?
I don’t know how long I’ll be here, and with how I've been feeling, it’s only a matter of time before the guys start to suspect that there’s something wrong. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to put them off before they send for a doctor.
Other than the fact that they could find out, I don’t feel good about lying to them in that way. It’ll only lead to problems and distrust between us, the one thing I have been so particular about. I can't be that person.
I flush the toilet and walk out to find the guys, even as my heart threatens to explode in my chest. I have to tell them before I chicken out.
“Hey, Amelia. Are you all right?” Rueben’s voice pulls me out of my trance.
I look at him confused, unsure of how to tell them or even where to start from.
God, I’m such a mess.
“Amelia?” he calls again, and I startle.
“What? Oh, I-I'm fine.”
“Sure there’s nothing wrong? You’ve been acting a little weird all day,” Josiah says, while Tanner merely stares at me.
Has he told them about my disappearing act today?
Somehow, it doesn’t seem like he has, since none of them have mentioned the fact that I disappeared, or tried to remind me of the reasons why I can’t do things like that.
“I, um…” I pause to let out a breath and steady my shaky voice. My hands are behind me so they won’t see how shaky they are.
“I have something to tell you,” I try again, this time managing to get out all the words.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
I nod and then shake my head, unsure how to say it. There’s no way to know how they’ll feel about this when I tell them. We’ve only known for such a short time, and I can’t picture how they’ll react to it.
My eyes close as I breathe in deeply and say the words that might change the trajectory of things.
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence follows my confession, and I open my eyes slowly, wringing my fingers as I prepare for the shock and horror I’ll find when I look at them.
“You’re pregnant?” Rueben asks. The shock is evident in his voice. I search his face for the answer to the question I’ve been asking myself, but I can't tell how he feels. There’s nothing to read except shock.
“Wow, Amelia, I—” Josiah starts to speak, but Tanner lets out an angry sound.
“All that can wait. There are other time-sensitive matters to deal with,” he says sharply.
I rear back in shock. While Tanner has always been the most abrasive, I never would have imagined that he would speak to me in such a manner. And to think he was such a gentleman earlier on. I thought we had a moment outside.
“What?”
My voice is small. What could be more important than what I’ve just said that he’s willing to push it away?
“Does this not deserve at least a little bit of your time so we can figure things out?” I ask him, and he looks apologetic, but it’s clear that he will not be budging.
I look at the others, both standing there silently. Although there’s a look of disapproval on their faces, they say nothing to him about the manner that he’s choosing to handle things.
What is going on?
My world is about to crumble, and I don’t know how to handle it. I take a step back, unsure of what to do, but Tanner steps towards me and stops me.
“I’m sorry this is not going the way that you expected it to, and I promise we’ll get back to it, but there is something else that we need to handle before it’s too late,” he says.
I remain silent, unsure of what to say as he waits for me to respond.
What does he expect me to say to that?
“Tanner, I don’t think now is the time for that,” Josiah says.
“No, Josiah. There’s no other time. I understand that this is all coming at a bad time, but we need to do this now. It’s now or never.”
“What are you guys talking about? What is so important that the news of my pregnancy doesn’t even deserve any consideration from you?”
My voice comes out louder than I expected it to, and I blink away the sting of unshed tears.
How could I have been so stupid to think that they cared about me and would always be there for me no matter what I threw at them?
“Amelia, I’m sorry, but I need you to calm down,” Tanner says once again. “There’s something we need to ask you.”
I stay silent and wait for him to ask. I can't say another word, as it would only bring about tears.
“Amelia, we’ve given you time to see that we are not the bad guys, and I hope you trust us enough to know that it is the truth. I promise we only care about you and want to protect you,” Tanner says.
My brain is fogged up and confused. What does any of this have to do with what I just told them, and why are they suddenly curious about whether I trust them or not?
Before I can conclude on my own, Tanner looks at the others and turns to me with a sigh.
“Amelia, time is not on our side, and we need to move now. For us to do that, we need you to tell us the location of your dad’s stash,” he says softly, looking into my eyes.
I jerk away from him, pushing his hands from my shoulder as I move back.
“My dad’s stash?” I ask in disbelief. “That’s what’s so important that you couldn’t wait to find out about?”
He takes a deep breath that’s mixed with irritation. “Amelia, you need to understand that if we could wait, we would.”
“I need to understand that? Have you considered how I felt when I thought that I might be pregnant, and how much it’s been eating at me until I confirmed it?” I scoff and shake my head.
“Amelia, please just hear us…” Josiah says to me, but I ignore him and continue.
“Have you thought about how I must have felt, knowing that I was pregnant and it belongs to one of you, yet not knowing who the father is? Or the courage it took me to finally come up here and tell you guys about it, despite being unsure of how you would react to the news?”
My voice is raised now, and I do nothing to control it. I turn to Rueben, who has remained silent in all of this.
“You,” I point a finger at him. “I suppose it's not be so surprising that this would come from Tanner, but how can you merely stand there while this goes on? Do you not care how I feel or how this affects me?”
He sighs and looks away, but not before I see the look of guilt in his eyes.
Good, you should feel guilty.
I turn to Josiah, but I have nothing to say to him. His eyes show his regret, but he never did anything to stop Tanner, so he’s not innocent either.
“I should have known that none of you cared for me. I was a fool to believe that this could have been anything more than it truly was. I was merely a means to satisfy you until you found the stash so you could dispose of me.”
“Please, calm down.”
“Don't ask me to fucking calm down, Josiah!” I lash out at him.
My voice breaks as I speak, and it’s a wonder that I'm able to get all the words out.
“Amelia, that could not be further from the truth. There’s just so much going on right now. We are only trying to protect you,” Rueben says finally, moving towards me.
I scoff and laugh, a derisive sound that has him stopping before he can take another step in my direction.
“You are trying to protect me? Getting me to trust you so you could take my dad’s stash? Batting away the news of my pregnancy like it means nothing? Is that what you call protection?” I rage, and none of them is able to calm me down.
I turn away from them and head towards the room, ready to slam the door shut and forget that any of this has happened, although how that is possible I have no idea.
“Amelia, come on. Can we just talk about this?” Tanner asks.
“Oh, so now you wish to talk after you didn’t get your way?” I whirl around and shoot him a nasty glare. “Stay the hell away from me, Tanner. I hate you. I hate all of you.”
With that, I walk into the room and slam the door shut, not caring that the hinges shake from the force of it.
Barely able to keep myself up anymore, I slide down to the floor and finally let the tears fall. I sob quietly, letting out the anger and pain I feel. I will not give them the satisfaction of hearing me cry.
How could I have been so stupid? I'm a cop, and I should have known better than to trust these lowlife criminals. I let my guard down and got involved in all of that crazy stuff with them, when all this time, all they cared about was the information I had.
I feel so silly right now. My heart is broken because I am actually falling for them, for all of them, and there's a baby about to come into our lives. This was a mistake I'll pay so dearly for.
I begin to put the pieces together to see how I've been a big fool. The thing with Rueben and Jared at his workshop. I remember Rueben's words and they resound in my head.
He had asked Jared if he had known him to be someone who was a traitor, or someone who never got the job done. He had told him so solemnly that he was working on a plan, and that Jared should trust that he knew what he was doing.
Shit! They've been using me all this time.
They had fucked me and gained my trust, made me feel so free and comfortable with them. But it was all just so they could have the stash to themselves.
I think about the time I heard them talking about protecting me at all costs, but all of that was obviously staged. They knew what they were doing. Somehow, they must have known that I was eavesdropping, so they said the things that I wanted to hear them say.
Well played, boys.
All the stories about their pasts, the good sex, the care and affection they'd been showing me had been a part of their plan all along.
You've been used, Amelia.
Tanner's worry about my safety when we went to get those tacos was genuine, because I was their ticket to the location of the stash.
It all made sense now.
Look how causally they dismissed my news. No. They're not worth it. I've forgotten my role in this and have relied so much on people who obviously don't care about me.
I need to complete this on my own. I must remember that first and foremost, I am a cop.
They don’t deserve my tears.
I wipe my face dry with my shirt and clean my eyes. They’ll never get the stash from me. Now that they’ve confirmed my suspicion, there’s nothing for me to do here.
They are just as bad as the cops that betrayed me and the Flames of Hell gang that threatened to torture me until I told them what they needed to know.
At least they didn’t try to win your heart and sleep with you just to get the answer out of you. I laugh, a sound that soon morphs into tears.
Oh Dad, how could they betray you like this? Did they even care about you?
I mourn for my dad, who had been so trusting of people who only care about themselves and no one else. I mourn for myself. I had turned out to be just like my father after all.
Using the wall as support, I push myself up. There’s only one thing I can do, and that is to find the money and take it before any of them can figure out where it’s located.
They can all go to war for all I care.
I take one last look at the room that has been sheltering me for quite a while. I can't deny that there are lots of memories lurking within its four walls.
It was fun having all of them to myself, individually and collectively. Memories of our time together flash in my head one last time, and I sniffle and fight back my tears.
My kid will be better off without them. They would only corrupt that innocent soul and introduce him or her to this life of crime and death. No, my child deserves better. Way better.
I slip into a black jacket and flip the hood over my head as I head to the window. Opening it, I see the height. But I'm trained to overcome challenges like this.
I look outside and see the plumbing system. A pipe runs along the wall, all the way down. At the base, there's an elevated structure that looks like a covered dumpster. Whatever it is, it's a good landing platform for me.
With precise movement, I climb out the window, hopping onto the pipe. My weight pulls it out of the wall; clearly, it is not as strong as it looked.
I almost fall off, but I find myself holding on. The pipe snaps, and I hear the sound as it breaks and I fall freely. Like a cat, I land on the platform and hop off to the ground, where I roll onto my feet.
I stand tall and look at the height from which I'd fallen, unscathed. Pride swells within me as I flip up the hood, which had blown off my head when I fell. I'm impressed by myself.
“You did good, girl,” I say to myself as I walk away.
I run before they can figure out that I’m gone. I know them; they will give me some time to calm down before they come talk to me again. Hopefully that’ll be enough time to put some distance between us.
After a few minutes, I stop running when I can no longer see the house behind me, slowing into a walk.
I walk down the street with both hands in my pockets as I momentarily steal glances over my shoulders. For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed.
Looking to the side, I see a guy walking in the same direction as me, but on the other side of the road. I'd seen him before now, just like I'd seen the one a couple of paces behind me. I adjust my hood and increase my pace.
I feel the steps of the one behind me getting closer; clearly, he's increasing his speed as well. I look at the guy on the other side of the street; he’s now crossing over to my side.
“Shit!” I whisper to myself, knowing I've been spotted.
The first time you leave the house on your own, you get tailed.
I rush into an alley, and soon, the one behind me rounds the corner into the same alley. I hit him straight in the throat, almost breaking his esophagus.
His hands reach for his neck as he wheezes in pain. I throw a punch at his face, and he falls to the ground. The other guy arrives and points his gun at me, but with a speed I didn't know I had, I kick the pistol out of his hand.
His eyes widen, as he obviously didn't see that coming. He swings a punch at me, but I deflect it and trap his hand in mine. With a practiced move, I flip him over to the ground and twist his wrist until I hear the satisfying sound of his bones breaking. He wails as I kick his face into the dirt.
I rush to his gun and arm myself with it as I contemplate putting a bullet in their heads.
“There she is!”
I hear a loud voice from across the street. I raise my head and see a couple of men rushing toward me. I try to pull the trigger, but the damn gun seems to be jammed.
Immediately, I turn and run as fast as my legs can carry me. I get to the other end of the alley and a car screeches to a halt, blocking my exit. Four men alight and stand outside the car.
There's nowhere else I can go. They've cornered me front and back.
One of them walks over to me and takes out his phone to place a call.
“Boss, I had our men follow Tanner.”
Wait, what?
“Our suspicion was right.” He looks at me. “They've been hiding her and lying about it all this time.”
He's quiet, and I can hear the indistinct voice over the phone.
“No. She's alone.”
It hits me there and then I am indeed alone. Everything starts to add up, and I realize that I was mistaken.
Tanner had been a gentleman to me on our way to get the tacos. He practically did everything I asked, even though it didn't sit well with him, but the one thing he went against was my request for him not to speed up.
I drift back to that moment in the car when he was taking me home. I search my memories, and I realize that I had missed the fact that he was jumpy, but trying to keep cool.
He had been constantly looking through the rearview mirror, like someone was following him. He sped up against my will and sheepishly smiled at me with the excuse that he only wanted to make sure I got home to eat.
I had ignored the look of worry hidden in his eyes when he'd made that excuse.
Oh my God. He knew.
Tanner must have known about the men following us but didn't tell me because he was concerned about my well-being.
Shit! I fucked up.
They must have all known about this when I told them about my pregnancy. It makes sense that they had dismissed the information; more like adjourned it to face a more pressing matter.
“All that can wait. There are other time-sensitive matters to deal with.” Tanner's voice resounds in my head as I put the pieces of this puzzle together yet again.
So this is the time-sensitive matter he was talking about. No wonder the others didn't caution him. He was right after all. They were right and I was wrong.
I feel a light pinch on the side of my neck, and I wince at the sting. I pull out a tranquilizer dart, and suddenly the world around me begins to swirl. My head is light and my feet can no longer carry my weight.
I fall freely to the ground as I struggle to no avail to stay conscious. My vision becomes blurry as a pair of Timberland boots approach me.
The voices around me echo as I drift off into an abyss of nothingness.