Sugar Coated (A Bitter Pill #2)

Chapter Five – Laina

Later that night, my dad came into my room after knocking once, and you know what? I wasn’t even upset about the talk we were going to have. The mere fact that Kieran was home filled me with so much relief, I couldn’t quantify it with words.

He must’ve taken off his suit jacket, because he only wore his dress pants and a long-sleeved, button-down shirt tucked into the waistband of said pants. His brown hair was combed back neatly, not a hair out of place. He radiated mayor energy, even in his own home.

My dad walked toward my bed, where I was sitting, absentmindedly flipping through channels on the TV, trying to find something mind-numbing to watch. I stopped searching the moment he gingerly sat down near me.

“Tessa told me you snuck out last night,” my dad started, “and that you didn’t come home until lunchtime.” The way he said it, like a statement of fact, kind of pissed me off since that meant he automatically believed Tessa.

It was true, but it still pissed me off.

“I already know what you’re going to say,” I muttered.

“You do? Great. Then I don’t have to tell you how stupid it was.” The look my dad gave me right then told me he wasn’t ready to drop it just yet. “Actually, no, I’m going to say it all, anyways. It was stupid of you to sneak out of this house.”

“I had Mike with me.” A lie, one I wasn’t proud of, but it came out before I could stop it.

“True. I suppose you could have been stupider, but that’s not saying much. I know Kieran is home now, but we can’t forget someone was trying to target you. You, not Kieran. If someone really wants to get to you, one bodyguard won’t stop them. Where was so important to go last night that you couldn’t tell Tessa or me?”

Hmm. Maybe I should tell the truth, or part of it, and see how he’d react. If I noticed any hints of guilt on his face as he listened to me, I’d only prove right the suspicions that had begun to grow during my first kidnapping.

“I went to a party with Kelly,” I told him with a shrug.

“A party? With Kelly?” My dad shook his head once. “I should’ve known she was a part of this. Any bad idea you’ve ever had in your life, Kelly was always at the core of it, the one egging you on.”

“I wanted to get out of the house. Have some fun. I can’t stay locked up in this house forever, Dad, I just can’t. Whether or not someone wants to hurt me, I can’t let it stop me from living my life.”

A part of me thought my dad would argue with me, but instead he took some time to think it over. After a minute, he finally said, “You’re right. Being cooped up in this house can’t be good for you, after… your ordeal. You should live your life—but you need to be careful. If you want to go out again, you should tell me, Laina, don’t try to hide it. I’m your dad. It’s my job to worry about you. I only want what’s best for you.”

And then my dad added something so emotionally raw, I was stunned into silence: “I just got you back. I can’t lose you again.” His voice wavered a bit, and my gut instinct was that he meant it.

But if he meant it, that meant my theory was wrong, and it wasn’t my dad doing any of this—and if it wasn’t my dad, who the hell was it?

“We can’t forget someone tried to kill you—and that your kidnapper is still out there, somewhere. The man the police have in custody isn’t talking at all. Given his priors and his contacts in the criminal world, the police don’t think he worked alone. They think someone hired him to gun you down, but until he talks, it’s only a working theory.”

I swallowed hard, remembering that fateful day, when I thought Kieran was going to die on me. His blood on my hands… I could easily say now that was the worst day in my entire life.

“And what if he never talks?” I asked.

“Loyalty runs deep in a city like this. I learned that a long time ago. Once someone is loyal to you, they’ll die for you before they turn, or they’ll face the consequences of changing sides. I’m in a unique position, as mayor, where I can have my hands in everything, everywhere. Even if it means going through some… not so above the board channels, I’m going to find out who’s responsible.”

Not so above the board channels. Did he mean asking Sylvester Luciano to help him? I couldn’t even tell him it was a bad idea, since I’d gotten Lola’s help on more than one occasion.

My dad reached for me, setting a hand on my lower leg. “I love you. You know that, right? I’d do anything for you.”

“Would you walk away from the mayor’s seat?” The question was out of me before I even realized I’d spoken it, and once it was out there, there was no taking it back.

His hand squeezed my ankle enough that I could tell he was surprised at the question. “Why would you… does me being mayor bother you?” He pulled his hand off me and set it on his lap, his brows drawn together ever so slightly.

Eh, might as well just tell him.

It took me a few seconds to muster up the courage to say it. “Sometimes it just feels like you care more about your job than me.” I hated how weak the sentence made me sound, like I gave a shit one way or another.

Okay, maybe a teeny, tiny part of me did care. Maybe a small part of me was still hurting, just as I’d hurt when I’d been chained to that bed, watching the local news every single day as he climbed higher and higher in the polls—to the point where his victory was all but promised.

“That’s not true,” my dad was quick to say. “That’s not true at all. What on earth would give you that idea?”

My gaze fell to my lap. I shouldn’t, but… might as well just keep going at this point. “When I was taken, my kidnapper set up a TV for me. I was able to watch the news. I saw the press conferences, the candlelight vigils, the door-to-door search coverage. You rallied the city to find me, and at the same time you made the city fall in love with you. I saw when you walked out of the church the day you married Tessa. You looked so happy. That was the first time it really hit me: maybe he doesn’t miss me. Maybe he doesn’t really care—”

“Laina, honey, no.” My dad scooted along the edge of my bed until he was close enough to me he could reach me and pull me in for a hug. His arms wrapped around me, but I didn’t hug him back. I couldn’t. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you feel that way, but it’s not true. You know I love you more than life itself. Up until a few years ago, it was just you and me against the world. We were a team.”

I pulled away from him as I asked, “Were we? Because from what I remember, I just smiled and went along with whatever you wanted. Once you got into politics, you realized you could use me. A single dad taking care of his daughter.”

“I never used you—”

“Didn’t you? I never wanted to go to any of those meet-and-greets. I didn’t want to be on TV like you did. I just wanted to be a kid, and you wouldn’t let me.”

The look my dad gave me right then made it look like he felt the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way… why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“Because you were happy. Because you found a purpose again. Because I… I wanted to be a good daughter and make you proud.” I hated how vulnerable I sounded. It’s funny; I could talk about kidnapping and see Fang rip into someone with his actual teeth and I was fine with it, but having a heart-to-heart with my dad was another story.

The sigh my dad heaved right then was record-setting. “I wish you would have told me this sooner. I never want you to feel like you’re an afterthought or that you don’t matter to me. You mean the world to me, and you always will.”

Don’t think I didn’t notice how he never actually said that he’d walk away from the mayor’s seat if I asked him to. My dad had lots to say, but nothing about that, oddly enough… almost like he wouldn’t ever voluntarily walk away.

Still, the more he talked, the more I couldn’t picture him at the root of my kidnappings.

“Listen, if you want to go out and live your life, that’s fine, but tell me where you’re going and when you’ll be home. I won’t force you to bunker down in this house. Just… be smart about things, please? Kieran is going to be out of the picture for a while, so you need Mike with you, at the very least.”

“I know.”

“And if something looks fishy or you get a weird feeling, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, come straight home.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Maybe I could assign you a second guard—”

“Mike is fine,” I interrupted him. “I’ll be okay. It’s just… a lot to get used to.”

My dad gave me a gentle smile. “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you, too.”

He patted me on the leg once more before he got up and wandered out of my room, closing the door behind him as he went and thus left me alone to stew in the aftermath of that conversation. I bit the inside of my cheek, replaying it over and over again in my head, going through his responses, how he’d looked at me when I’d told him the truth.

Politicians were good liars. Two-faced. It’s what they did best, no matter what side they were on. I wouldn’t trust any of them with my life or the lives of the people I cared about. My dad, as much as I hated to admit it, was one of them now, and he very well could’ve been one his entire life, a politician in waiting.

Maybe he was lying. Maybe he was just that good. Or maybe I was still hurt that my dad used my kidnapping to further his career. At this point, I gave up trying to make sense of it all.

When sleep finally took me in its embrace, my dreams were only memories. Memories of a time when I was little and it was just me and my dad. Memories of school projects and school plays; things you hated when you were little but somehow they formed core memories anyway. How much fun we had together, how much we used to laugh. How happy I used to be.

Man, how times had changed.

The next day I wanted to visit Lola and see if she got any information out of the guy Mike didn’t kill. I didn’t know exactly which one it was, but he was part of the group who’d kidnapped me from that party, and with any luck he would be more talkative than the man in police custody.

Oh, but before that, I needed to get a replacement phone.

I showered, dressed, did my hair in cute waves. By the time I went downstairs, I found Mike in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. I slid onto one of the stools around the island and stared at his wide, strong back as I said, “It’s a little late for breakfast, don’t you think?”

Without looking at me, Mike said, “It’s not for me. It’s for you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but someone else strolled into the kitchen—Kieran. He walked a little stiffer than he normally did, and as he went for the fridge he quipped, “Awe, you shouldn’t have, but I’ll never say no to eggs and bacon.”

The glare Mike sent his way made it obvious the food was indeed for me and not Kieran, but the hard look slid right off Kieran as he pulled out the orange juice from the refrigerator.

“Next time,” Kieran went on as he pulled down two glasses, “I’d prefer an omelet with diced peppers, sausage, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits lightly sprinkled on top.” He poured out two equal glasses of orange juice and slid one my way with a wink.

I caught the glass and couldn’t resist the smile that fought its way to the surface on my face. Thankfully, I now had a glass of orange juice to hide behind.

Kieran grimaced as he sat on the stool beside me, his dark eyes twinkling as he studied me. The wave to my pink and blue hair, the clothes I wore; the way he looked at me right then, it was a good thing my dad and Tessa weren’t around. And then, as if his stare didn’t say it already, he leaned over to me and whispered, “You really are a sight for sore eyes.”

A blush fought its way up my cheeks, but Mike had a reply ready: “Are your eyes that sore, Kieran?” There was an edge to his deep voice, one that wasn’t normally there, and that told me he still battled with his own internal feelings of jealousy.

“As a matter of fact, they are.” Though Kieran was answering Mike, he stared at me the whole time, like he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I supposed, after being in a coma for a while, he wanted to memorize me or something.

My talk with him yesterday was alive and vivid in my mind, and the question remained: what was Kieran to me? He certainly wasn’t a step-uncle. He wasn’t even the annoying bodyguard he used to be. He was… God, he was so much more than that, but I couldn’t put it into words yet.

“Very sore eyes,” Kieran whispered, and unless I was going mad, I detected a hint of desire in those words. Or maybe it was my own twisted desire for him I knew I shouldn’t feel but did anyways that I sensed.

If looks could speak words, Kieran and I would’ve been knee-deep in a conversation—a conversation Mike interrupted by setting a plate and a fork in front of me and ordering me, “Eat.”

I was slow to pick up the fork, finally tearing my eyes away from Kieran. Now that I had a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me, my belly rumbled and reminded me I was, in fact, starving. It was a good thing the food was mounded up; it’d definitely fill me.

Kieran’s hands gestured to the empty area in front of him. “Where’s mine?”

Mike took the pan he used to the sink, rinsing it out. “You want food, make it yourself.”

“Is that any way to treat the man who saved Laina’s life?” Kieran’s sarcastic question makes both me and Mike look at him, and I’d bet both Mike and I were thinking about how Kieran wasn’t the only one who saved my life.

Nope. Now Mike and Fang were in that club, too; something Kieran didn’t know.

“Next time maybe I’ll let the bullet hit her—” Kieran stopped himself from finishing that sentence, immediately telling me, “No, that’s a lie. You know I’d never let that happen.”

With a mouth full of food, I muttered, “Your jokes are a little rusty.”

Kieran shrugged. “Yeah, I guess being in a coma after saving someone’s life does that to you. Have I mentioned I saved your life lately? Get ready to hear about it at least twice every hour. I’m going to constantly remind everyone in this house that I am a hero and I should be worshiped like a god—”

“So you want everyone to worship you?” I asked, pausing my eating to take a sip of the orange juice.

He shrugged. “I’d settle for just you.” That statement made Mike cough at the sink, and Kieran straightened himself out and flashed me a bright smile. “So what’s the plan for today?”

“Mike and I are going to swing by the store to get me a new phone, and then we’re visiting Lola,” I told him. I’d slept in more than I thought, so I ate as fast as I could.

“Why do you need a new phone?” The innocent question made me tense up, and I had to remind myself that no one else in this house knew about my second kidnapping. The way Kieran watched me made me think he was simply curious and a bit confused.

“Oh, you know. Just time for an upgrade” was my excuse. “What are you going to do today?”

Kieran’s brows furrowed. “I’m coming with you, obviously.” Even Mike stared at him after that, though he didn’t say a word. His incredulous stare, combined with mine, forced him to add, “What? No way I’m staying here all day by myself like some home-bound—”

“Coma patient?” I offered.

“I’m not in a coma anymore.”

“Clearly, but you were still shot, and I can tell by the way you move, you’re sore.”

Kieran shrugged again. “I just need a couple of slow days, that’s all. Going to the store to get a new phone? What’s slower than that? Hint: the answer is nothing, especially if there’s a line of people waiting to be helped before you get there. It could be an all-day thing.” He coughed. “Why, uh, are we visiting Lola after, though? Are you best friends now or something?”

Mike and I shared a long look before I told Kieran, “No, we’re not best friends, but… she’s helping out with something.” I could tell he wanted to argue with me, to come, to be around me all day, but I couldn’t let him. Setting a hand on his arm, I gently said, “I’ll be fine with Mike. You need to stay here and focus on healing, okay?”

Mike leaned against the island’s other side, glaring at Kieran. “You’d only slow us down.” A totally unnecessary comment on his part, something that wasn’t like him.

A muscle in Kieran’s jaw tensed. “That won’t always be the case, and when that day comes, I can’t wait to be there, by your side, bugging the shit out of you every minute of the waking day.” He flashed Mike a grin, but even I could tell it was half-assed. He really was irritated at the comment, but he didn’t want anyone to know.

I knew, though. I definitely knew.

I was done eating, so I grabbed my plate and empty cup and went to put them in the dishwasher. “It’ll be fine, Kieran. You’ll be better before you know it.” And then, like he said, he could come with us everywhere and bug the shit out of Mike constantly—of course, by then, he’d have to know the full truth.

Someday soon I’d have to tell him I was kidnapped again. I’d have to confess everything that happened at the party too, just like I already did to Mike and Fang. Thankfully, that day was not today.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kieran huffed, not bothering to hide his disappointment as I walked by him, followed by Mike. “Don’t mind me,” he called out to me. “I’ll just be here, all day, by myself, twiddling my thumbs because I have nothing better to do!” The farther away we got, the louder he had to yell it, until we were near the front door and he was shouting.

Poor Kieran.

But Mike was right: he’d only slow us down. Until he got better, until he could move without grimacing, he needed to take it easy.

I slipped some shoes on, and then Mike and I were out the door.

Our first stop was a new phone for me. There were two other people there ahead of me, so we did have to wait a bit to be helped. The person who helped us thought Mike and I were together, which made me smile and Mike frown. I went with a phone similar to the one I had, next model up. We had to mark my original phone as lost so I could transfer over my new number. Only problem was, I’d lost all my pictures, contacts, and all that. It’d be okay for most things—wasn’t like I had lots of pictures in there I wanted to eternalize—but it did mean I was without Kelly’s number. I’d have to reach out on social media to get it again.

Two hours later, with a brand-new phone and a cotton candy pink case to match it, we were finally finished, and it was time to pay a visit to Lola.

A part of me assumed we would be visiting Lola at the club or something, but it was the middle of the day; I doubted the clubs were open yet. Then again, if she really was the queen of the dark side of this city, she could probably get the club to open its doors whenever she wanted.

Mike drove me to a place in the city that was familiar; ironically, it wasn’t too far from where I lived. Big houses, stone walls separating them, well-manicured lawns with fully-sculpted bushes and trees; the epitome of money.

It was hard for me to think we were one of those families now.

“Where are we meeting her?” I asked, breaking the long stretch of silence that had filled the vehicle until now.

“Her home,” Mike said.

Her home. Hmm. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about where Lola lived. Didn’t shock me to know she lived here, in this part of the city. I wondered where she got all of her money from; the houses here were bigger, possibly the largest in the entire city. Had she inherited any of it, or did she make it all from unscrupulous dealings?

We pulled up a long driveway and parked before a grandiose front entrance. I was slower in getting out than Mike was, and I followed him up to the door, studying the outside of the impressive house as we walked up the stone steps.

Wow. An impressive house for a criminal queen.

Mike didn’t bother knocking; he went straight in, and he held the door open for me. I gave him a smile to thank him, and he acted like he didn’t see it—and the only reason he got away with ignoring me was because his brother, Viper, came walking down the hall, carrying an energy drink. His hair was dotted with sweat, and he wore workout clothes.

“Hey,” he greeted me, and then he added, “she’s in the lounge with Maddox.”

It was a good thing Mike knew where that was, because Viper went upstairs, chugging his energy drink as he went. Mike led the way through the first floor of the house, and we came upon a large room with what must’ve been the biggest sectional couch I’d ever seen in my life, coupled with the largest TV.

Neither the couch or the TV’s screen were what had my attention as we rounded the corner, however. No, that honor resided on the two people on the couch.

Lola was bent over the couch, her upper body contorted to brace herself on the back of it, doggie-style, and her bottom half was in the hands of a very muscular, very tattooed man who didn’t stop thrusting even as we walked around the corner of the room.

Yeah, both Lola and Maddox were totally naked, and they were definitely in mid-fuck.

Lola flashed us a grin; it really was insane that she was as gorgeous as she was, even in such a compromising position. In fact, she acted as though everything was normal and she wasn’t getting railed as she welcomed us, “Hi, guys! Don’t mind us.”

Maddox must’ve pushed roughly into her after that, because she cried out, and her grin turned sultry. “Just give us a couple minutes, mmkay? Unless you want to watch.” She let out a hard, ragged breath. “I don’t mind an audience.”

I barely had time to register what she said, let alone register the fact that they were literally having sex in front of me, that I didn’t get time to say anything before Mike grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room, making the choice for me.

Who did he think he was? Maybe I wanted to watch. Lola was drop-dead gorgeous. Maddox was sexy and full of tats. Watching them go at it was kind of hot, if I was being honest. If they were open to it…

Mike pulled me far enough away that the sounds of their sex weren’t so loud, and it was only then that he loosened his grip on my wrist.

“What the hell?” I spoke with a pout. “Maybe I wanted to stay.”

The only thing he did was narrow his eyes down at me and fold his arms over his chest, cock his head at me like he thought I was lying—but he could give me that look as much as he wanted. It wouldn’t change the fact that I was telling the truth.

I didn’t think Fang would care. Kieran probably would, but he wasn’t here right now. It was only me and Mike.

“What?” I huffed. “Don’t act like you don’t know Lola is frigging gorgeous. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind watching.” It’s like porn. Didn’t guys get into that? Why did it make it so shocking that I might be into it, too?

“If you really want to watch, then go watch.”

Mike only said it to egg me on, I knew it. I knew it, and yet I still glared up at him with the fury of a thousand suns as I ground my teeth. “Fine.” I held my head high and marched down the hall, back to the lounge—and then I hesitated before rounding the corner and going into the room.

The sounds of sex filled the room adjacent to the hall, and I could imagine it well enough after walking in on them. Lola knew no modesty. Of course, if I was as pretty as her, I might ooze confidence, too.

I stood in the hall for a few seconds, listening to the grunts and moans, and then I sighed and marched right back to Mike, whispering, “You made it weird by pulling me out of the room to begin with, so thanks.”

All Mike did was roll his eyes, as if I was the one being ridiculous here.

Standing there, waiting for Lola and Maddox to finish having sex, time seemed to crawl by. Maybe because it was a teeny-weeny bit awkward. Maybe Mike was busy wondering if I really would like to watch. Maybe I was wondering if Mike would get into it, if it’d get him in the mood, like he was that night I went to his room and found him reading a book.

I did still hate that he stopped us from going further.

After a while—an eternity, it felt like—I heard Lola’s voice yell, “We’re done!” And I shot Mike an annoyed smile before walking away from him yet again… though I did notice he took his time in following me.

He took his time in following me for good reason, too, because as I turned to walk into the lounge once more, I found both Lola and Maddox were in the process of getting dressed. Maddox had his pants on, but I could tell his dick was still hard; it bulged against his jeans, and the muscles in his arms tightened as he went for his shirt.

Lola, on the other hand, was much slower in putting on her clothes. She was in the middle of pulling up her leggings when I rounded the corner, cluing me in to the fact that she wore absolutely nothing under them. I got a nice, long view of her bare chest as she bent to retrieve her shirt and slipped it on—no bra, either.

I did notice a long, ugly scar on her lower abdomen, along with a shorter one on her side, the only blemishes on an otherwise flawless body.

Were girl crushes a thing? I didn’t like girls, but Lola might just be an exception. The woman was stunning in every way possible.

Waving Maddox away, Lola said, “Give us the room.” And then she collapsed onto the couch, right where she’d just had sex, with a pleased sigh. She winked at me and patted the empty space beside her.

Maddox wandered away, probably taking Mike with him, but I didn’t pay attention to them. The only thing I did was plop down next to Lola.

Lola was busy grinning at me. “Sorry about that. You probably saw a lot more than you thought you would. I wasn’t planning on getting bent over when Mike texted you were on your way, but sometimes Maddox is… let’s just say you can’t say no to him.”

I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, “That’s okay. I… actually didn’t mind.”

She squinted her blue eyes at me. “Ooh, yeah? I knew there was some kink hiding behind that fun hair.” As she spoke, she lifted a hand to my hair and twirled some of it around her slender finger.

“You’re very, um—” God, I sounded tongue-tied. Yeah, I definitely had a girl crush on Lola. Who could blame me? “—cavalier about sex.”

“I am. It’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Her voice quieted. “For years it was a weapon, a weapon I used against men—easily, too. They all think with their dicks, as you probably already know. It’s only with Sylvester, Maddox, and Viper that it feels… different. Good. Addicting, even.”

“I saw your scars. Can I ask?”

Lola stopped fiddling with my hair, that same hand dropping to her stomach and tracing the longer scar there. It took her a minute to say, “The little one was where I got stabbed by a rusty old knife—not fun, let me say. The other… was something that was done to me on purpose, to shame me. To be a constant reminder of what happened and what I can’t have.”

Whatever it was, it sounded like it was still painful for her to talk about, so I said, “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”

The smile she gave me after that told me she appreciated it. “Yeah, that’s right. You’re here to check on the asshole that kidnapped you. How did that all go down, by the way? Mike was, not shockingly, vague about the details.”

I might not have known much about Lola, but I trusted her, so I decided to tell her everything, sparing no details. I told her about the party, about my Devil reappearing after so long, about how he finally claimed me as his… and then how, after he ran away from me, I tried to find him, only to lose him and decide to go home. But before I could contact Mike, I was taken.

And, of course, I had to tell her about the message Mike got that told him where to come get me.

Once the story was all said and done, Lola hummed. “Sounds like you have a devil watching over you. Masked sex… I bet it was hot. I wonder if one of my guys would ever put on a mask.”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed. “I think they would do anything if you asked.”

Lola giggled. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I have them wrapped around my little finger, right where I like ‘em. Speaking of, how’s it going with Mike? He doesn’t talk much to his brother, but from what I hear, when he does, he mainly talks about you. Do you have the big guy wrapped around your cute little finger?”

“I don’t think so, although it is news to me that he talks about me.”

“Usually it’s about how frustrated he is with you. According to Mike, you’re one frustrating girl.”

Shrugging, I muttered, “I don’t try to be.”

“That’s how it is sometimes. I’m sure if you asked Sylvester or Maddox or even Viper, they’d call me frustrating, but they love me anyway.”

“Mike is hard to read.”

“I agree with that. He’s so hard to read, I think most women don’t even bother trying with him. Hell, for as long as I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him with a girl. Before you, it got to the point where I was considering bringing him into my bedroom just to give the guy some stress-relief—he’s had a wild ride the past few years.”

I couldn’t help it. My eyebrows lifted. “You were going to… did you?”

Lola licked her bottom lip. “Why? Would it make you angry if I told you I did? Would you be jealous if I said I climbed that mountain?” She nudged me with her shoulder, whispering, “Or would the kinky side of you like it?” She giggled at that.

I… honestly didn’t know.

“Anyways, you didn’t come all this way just to gossip with me about the shared men in our lives. You came about the asshole who helped kidnap you. He hasn’t said anything yet, but it hasn’t been that long. Don’t worry. Once he’s starving, once he’s barely clinging onto his pathetic life, I bet he’ll talk. I haven’t even used any of my knives on him yet.”

“Can I be there when you do?” The question came out of me before I knew I was asking, a genuine curiosity bubbling deep inside me. I was asking Lola if I could watch her torture someone. Not a normal topic of conversation, but if there was one thing I knew, it’s that neither I nor Lola were normal people.

I used to think I was… but now I was slowly coming to the realization that somewhere nestled inside of me was a bubbling, ebbing darkness. It had taken years, but this city was bringing it out of me.

The very second I asked the question, Lola grinned hard. “I knew I liked you, sugarplum. Yes, of course you can be there. I’ll never say no to something like that. Hell, if your cute little curiosity isn’t sated, I’ll even take you out one weekend and show you how the Night Slayer operates.”

The offer would’ve turned off most people, but it only intrigued me. Seeing Lola in her element… yeah, I was positive I’d like that.

Lola’s blue-eyed gaze fell to my left hand. “Fang is still hard at work, I see. Did he say how much longer it’ll be?”

I glanced down at my hand, at the two nubs where my pinky and ring finger were. Lola didn’t know I did this to myself; I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d think differently of me if I told her. Mike obviously did. Fang didn’t judge me for it, though he did offer up himself if I ever felt the need to maim again. Kieran would probably side with Mike if he found out.

“Within the week,” I said. “It’s strange. I feel like I still have the fingers. It’s like I constantly forget they’re gone, and I only remember when I look down and see the nubs for myself.”

“Most people wouldn’t be so casual about it. When you talk about that Devil, you sound… as much as I hate to say it, like you have a bit of Stockholm syndrome going on. Kidnapping you, keeping you locked up for two years, and then doing that to you? I don’t think he deserves any ounce of your affection. In fact, if I ever met him, I’d show him exactly what I think about him.”

Lola paused, and then, when I didn’t say anything, she added, “My knives. I’d use my own knives on him.” You know, just in case I didn’t know where she was going with that. “He might’ve helped you over the weekend, but not before he took what he wanted from you. Typical man.”

“When he had me,” I whispered, “he never touched me. He could’ve. He could’ve done whatever he wanted to me. He kidnapped me, yes, but he helped open my eyes to the truth: my whole life I was just a pawn. Someone other people could use—and I let them. I smiled and played the part because I didn’t want to let anyone down. I guess it’s something I knew deep down before the kidnapping, but… he helped me accept it.”

“He doesn’t get a medal for waiting to whip out his dick and use it on you. Look at your hand. Look at what he did when you escaped. You were in rough shape when I first met you in the hospital—”

I interrupted her, the need to defend my Devil stronger than ever, “It wasn’t him. It was me.”

Lola blinked. “You? Kitten, you don’t mean—”

I told Lola how I woke up one morning and found the key to my chains given to me, the door to my room left ajar. And then I told her how I made it look like a fight had taken place, because I wanted everyone to view me as a victim and not someone who was simply let go.

After listening to my story, Lola said, “You’re ready to fuck shit up. You wanted everyone to underestimate you. If they think you’re a victim, they won’t see you coming.”

Out of everyone I’d told that story to, no one had ever understood it quite like her. Hearing her succinctly explain away my reasoning made me speechless, and I could only sit there and stare at her like she was some kind of holy prophet.

“I get it. I do something very similar when I’m the Night Slayer. Pretend to get drunk at bars and clubs.” She chuckled softly and shook her head. “When men think you’re drunk, it’s easy to find the snakes. Even good guys turn bad when they think they can fuck you and you can’t say no. So trust me, I understand better than most that making yourself look like a victim can be your best weapon against the world.”

“Mike got really mad when I told him.”

“Did he? Can’t imagine why.” Lola smirked. “I’m kidding. I totally know why. There aren’t that many good guys in this city, but Big Mike is one of them. Of course he got pissed when you told him you mutilated yourself. He’s a good guy, but good guys can never understand what it’s like to be a pretty girl in this world.”

Lola, in reality, wasn’t that much older than me, but the way she talked made her sound wise and knowledgeable, like she had a lifetime’s worth of experience more than I did. I wondered if it had anything to do with the scar on her belly, the one she didn’t care to talk about.

I lightly touched the knuckles near my nubby fingers and whispered, “It hasn’t really been the same between us since he found out the truth. It’s like he’s always mad at me.”

“And, let me guess, you don’t want him to be mad at you?” When I didn’t say a word, Lola added, “Because you like the big guy—and I don’t mean you like him as a friend. You like him more than that, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Bullshit. ‘Course it matters. It always matters, so don’t ever tell yourself it doesn’t. When gals like us find someone who makes us feel like we’re whole, it fucking matters. Take it from me, sometimes it’s good to go with the flow and never give a shit, but when you find the one—or, in my case, the ones—who make life worth living again, you do whatever you can to grab hold of them and never let them go. If that’s the big guy, then you need to tell him. With the world as it is, you can never count on tomorrow.”

Man, Lola was just spitting one truth after another. The thing was, though, I didn’t know if I was ready to hear it. I mean, even if, say, I did admit that I cared for Mike as more than a friend, he’d still push me away and tell me I was just a job—it was his go-to when it came to me. There was no guarantee that he would let me in like he did that night, and I didn’t know if I could handle the rejection.

Yeah, yeah. How lame, right?

“And as for your mysterious Devil,” Lola went on, “I’m on whatever side you are. If you really like him, then I’m rooting for you two. If, on the other hand, you decide you’ve had enough of his enigma bullshit, I’ll always be ready to help you take care of him, if you know what I mean.” Given the way she said it, I definitely knew what she meant.

Kill him. She meant kill him.

I could honestly say I would never be okay with that, but as long as Lola respected my wishes when it came to my Devil, we’d be cool. I might not have known my Devil’s face, but I knew his heart.

He belonged to me as much as I belonged to him.