Chapter 36 #2
“Crew.” She smirked slightly, the corner of her lips lifting just a little. It was the first genuine show of mirth I’d seen from her, and I tried to focus on the task at hand and not how that small, insignificant little muscle contraction made a whole slew of muscles in my core contract.
“Crew. Right, got it.” I cleared my throat and bit back a groan when Tanner hit a really good spot under my hair. “Um, if someone on the crew was gay. Would they be safe coming out?”
“Safe?” Rhea’s brows furrowed over her eyes, and she cocked her head. “Are we talking about retaliation?”
“If someone is retaliating against a firefighter for being gay, that’s not only an ethical problem, but it’s also a legal one.” Tanner added, tensing next to me.
“Down boy,” I patted his thigh with a wink and clarified. “This is a hypothetical situation only, I don’t have any knowledge of someone on your team being gay, closeted or not. So don’t worry.”
“Crew.” She repeated and relaxed again. “But hypothetically, if there were, you want to know if they’d be safe?”
“Yes.” I replied. “Would they be free to be themselves, or would they have to hide it?”
She held my stare for a moment and then fell back against the back of her chair, shoulders sagging slightly.
“It would honestly depend on who it was. And believe me, no one hates that answer more than I do. But I don’t think everyone would take it well.
So depending on who it was, and if they could handle that initial knee jerk judgement, that would make or break the entire situation. ”
The image of Thomas entered my mind, and I saw him walking around the firehouse, with his quiet, watchful nature, existing around everyone, but never weaving within them like the other guys did. Truth be told, he had always been stuck to the side of the crowd, watching from afar.
Was Jasper right?
Was Thomas gay? Hiding himself in plain sight because of how others would react? And if he was, why the hell was it hitting me like a tidal wave of energy that I felt the need to shift and manipulate to react the way I wanted it to so people would accept him?
“Goldie?” Tanner pressed with that easy-going dominance that I loved to fall into. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I smiled, closing my eyes. “Someone said something, and it made my head start spinning with possibilities and questions and worries and—” I stopped.
Both of them watched me closely, not brushing off the way the topic was clearly important to me.
“I’ll think on it more and get back to you if there’s something there worth sharing. I promise.”
Rhea didn’t love that idea, but she didn’t fight me on it. “You’ll tell me if it turns out to be something. Something serious?” She urged, and I loved her for it.
Electricity zapped through my chest before the thought had even finished pulsing through my brain waves.
I loved her.
At first, I felt ridiculous for thinking it, given we were still incredibly new in our relationship.
But damn, it didn’t change the fact that it was true.
I loved Rhea.
Turning to the man at my side, solid and steady, watching me closely like he couldn’t quite place the thoughts racing through my mind, though he was trying, I knew the same was true for him.
I loved Tanner.
“Goldie!” A cheery voice called from the counter, and I looked past Tanner’s bright blue eyes to see Jasper standing there with the landline phone in his hand. “For you! The mayor!”
“Ugh,” Rhea groaned, “If it’s about me, I’m not here.”
I eyed her suspiciously, and her cheeks pinkened uncharacteristically, “Have you been dodging the Mayor, Rhea Dalton?”
Tanner chuckled and turned in his chair so I had to stand between his spread thighs to get out of my own. “Sounds like Mayor Houston decided to change tactics and went for your soft spot.”
I poked his chest over his bulletproof vest that was under his uniform shirt, and he winked at me as I stood.
“Careful, Mister.” I warned, leaning over his face as a darkness clouded his normally clear blue eyes.
“Or I’ll show you exactly how soft I can be.
Because I know you love it when I get all soft and cozy for you. ”
“Mmh,” he growled, the noise deep in his chest as we all three no doubt remembered the way we spent yesterday, forgetting about the world outside the four walls of our happy little nest, testing new limits. “Warning heeded. But only because I know you’ll make me regret it if I don’t.”
I kissed him, lingering only slightly longer than I should have for being in the middle of my bakery with the mayor herself on the phone waiting for me.
“Good boy.” I replied, and his hands tightened over my ass briefly before I slid from his embrace and walked around the table to Rhea’s other side.
She was watching us, fire burning in her eyes, and when I got to her, she rose to her feet. “You don’t have to talk to her for me.” Rhea said firmly, “I can handle it.”
“So can I.” I replied firmly, pushing a lock of her dark chocolate hair back behind her ear, enjoying the way her pupils dilated slightly with my touch.
“That’s what I’m here for, Rhea. To support you.
And that’s going to look different every single day.
Some days it will be laid out flat on my back with my thighs around your ears as you make me scream for mercy,” I said, and Tanner groaned behind me as Rhea’s hands ghosted themselves to my hips as she took a step closer.
“Tell me more.”
I went on though, not taking her desperate bait to deepen the conversation to the more carnal side of what we enjoyed, instead taking it to the deeper emotional side I was trying to build for her.
Because something told me it was going to take far more than just the physical proof of our bond to convince Rhea that what I felt for her was real.
“Some days it will be me taking a phone call you dodged, smoothing over someone with my charm and bubbly nature so you can avoid it altogether.” Her sexual need faded from her face as something else took root. Something deeper. “Because that’s what people do for those they care deeply for.”
“Goldie!” Jasper called out again with a dramatic stage whisper. “Let’s go!”
I leaned forward, using Rhea’s stunned silence to my advantage and kissed her.
“Have a good shift. I’ll bring dinner for the squad tonight.
” Turning, I winked at Tanner, who looked on with a knowing grin.
“Keep an eye on our girl today.” He bowed his head but didn’t interrupt me on my way to the phone.
“Crew.” Rhea called out as I walked away, choosing to point out my intentional flub in the name of her group of misfit firefighters, once again.
“Croissant, scone.” I called back with a shrug, and she chuckled as I took the phone from Jasper and walked to the quiet privacy of my office.
If Rhea was going to be buried so deep in her own head over this whole incident, then I was going to do what I was best known for to help her get out of it.
Caffeinate her.
Feed her.
And distract her with my bubbly personality until she found her footing and confidence again.
Because I was going to love her through her insecurities, instead of trying to convince her not to have them anymore.