Jordy
ON THE WAY out, all I could think about was how I wished Kieran would touch me again, even if it was just to drag me out by the wrist. He wasn’t that kind of guy, the kind that was casual about physical affection.
But I wanted him to be different with me.
And it seemed like maybe he wanted that too.
Or at least, it had seemed that way when we’d been alone in that bedroom without anyone else watching us.
As we passed the couch where Andrew was still sitting, his eyes followed my every movement, but he didn’t say anything.
Was he afraid of Kieran? I reached out to grab the drink I’d left sitting on the side table so I could take it with me, but Kieran yanked it out of my hand like it was filled with a dangerous poison.
“I’ll get you something on the way home.”
“I-it’s just soda,” I managed to stammer out, despite the fact that my stomach was thrashing and my chest was pounding.
“I wasn’t drinking or anything.” It was kind of embarrassing, the way my body reacted when he was being all protective and possessive like that.
Was it logical to feel embarrassed by something my natural biology pretty much demanded?
No. Did that stop it from happening? Also, no.
“I know,” he answered shortly, but kept moving ahead like all he wanted was to be out of this stupid party. I couldn’t really blame him.
I didn’t know if it was going to be awkward, but I could tell he was feeling just as uncertain and shocked as I was.
But I’d known Kieran for a long time. He wasn’t good at taking surprises or disappointments on the chin and moving on.
If I let him, he would brood and stew and isolate.
And that was the last thing I wanted, especially because I’d been the one to encourage what had happened…
Or almost happened. I needed to fix the heavy tension between us.
People called out to me or tried getting my attention as we rushed out of the house, but I didn’t react. I’d make excuses later if I needed to.
As we approached Kieran’s truck, he opened the passenger door for me before circling around to the driver’s side.
“You’re such a gentleman tonight,” I observed, as he slid in. He gave me a wry, aggravated look before revving up the engine and pulling out. “And you’re in such a good mood.”
“You’re the reason I’m like this,” he informed me, keeping his eyes forward. But I could see that his jaw was clenched. He had a sexy, defined jawline that was really easy to stare at.
“We’re not going home?” I asked, when he passed the turnoff that would lead to our neighborhood.
“If we go home already, then your dad’s going to think something weird happened.”
We could have just said the party was lame so we didn’t want to stay, but I didn’t want to give him the suggestion in case it made him actually turn around and take me home.
It seemed like maybe he was trying the pretend nothing happened approach.
I wasn’t letting that shit slide. I could make him feel better about it without ignoring it, I was sure.
“Did something weird happen?” I asked, scooting my butt down in the seat so I could prop my knees up onto the ratty dashboard.
“No.”
“Really? I feel kind of weird.” If feeling totally horny and swoony was weird.
“That sounds like a you problem.”
I watched him without saying anything for a few minutes.
Like a full-on, completely unsubtle stare with my whole body angled toward him.
I could tell that he knew I was staring, but that was the point.
I might have been a little more nervous about being so obvious if it weren’t for the fact that he’d more or less exposed himself as a snarling monster fueled by jealousy and lust specifically for me, just a handful of minutes earlier.
For a broody guy with a bunch of tattoos that scowled more than he smiled, he could be really stupidly cute.
“You’re okay, right?” He finally asked.
My instinct was to make a joke out of his question, to ask if he meant was my wrist shattered from his death grip on it. But the words stuck in my throat.
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”
“Easier said than done,” he muttered, but that was enough.
I felt a really dumb smile spreading across my face and I wanted to stop it because I knew I probably looked really goofy, but it was too late. He glanced over just in time to see me cheesing like a moron. Shaking his head, he looked back forward to the road. But his jaw wasn’t clenched anymore.
Eventually he pulled into the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant and ordered at the speaker.
“You didn’t ask me if I wanted anything,” I pointed out once he’d handed over his card to the girl in the window. I wasn’t really hungry, I’d eaten just before leaving the house. But I liked complaining and whining when I was with him.
“Just saving my breath,” he responded. When he glanced over to see my questioning look, he went on.
“If I would have asked what you wanted, you would have said you didn’t want anything.
Then when you saw me eating, you’d ask if you can have some.
It’s easier just to order everything in a bigger size. ”
I wanted to argue, but I didn’t have a leg to stand on. I was definitely guilty of the crimes of which I was being accused.
After they handed us the food at the next window, he parked in a dark and empty little corner of the lot.
“It’s diet,” he said, as I stared at the towering cup of cola he’d set in the cup holder. I already knew that, because I’d paid attention to his order.
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” I said lightly. He was always like that, always thinking of my needs and making sure I was taking care of myself. I didn’t exactly need the reminders, but they were nice to have.
Since he’d pretty much offered, in his bitchy emo kind of way, I wasn’t shy about grabbing up a fry and popping it into my mouth before taking a big slurp from his drink.
I licked a speck of imaginary salt off the side of my thumb, adoring the way his eyes flicked right to my tongue.
This whole seduction thing was more fun than I’d thought.
“Are you really okay?” He asked, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“I said I’m fine. Why would you think I wouldn’t be?” I wondered.
“Because I…” He trailed off, sounding frustrated. “That fucking creep at the party, and then…”
“And then?” I prompted, raising my eyebrows.
“And then I…” He trailed off again, heaving a growly sigh. “I was too rough with you. I didn’t mean to be, but I just…”
“You weren’t rough,” I corrected him. “I’m not made of glass. I liked it.”
“Don’t say that,” he snapped, reaching into the brown paper bag and ripping out a fry.
“What?”
“You know what.”
“That I liked it?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because…” He inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. “There’s no it, okay? Nothing happened.”
“So you weren’t going to kiss me?”
He stared at me for several beats of absolute silence. “Of course I wasn’t going to kiss you. Kissing my stepbrother would be incredibly inappropriate and wrong.”
“Why would it be wrong?” I asked, shifting a little in my seat. I knew what he meant, I wasn’t stupid. But wrong was a little harsh. “We’re not actually related, Kieran.”
“That’s not the point,” he said. “Just drop it. You’re testing my patience, Jordy.”
That was something he said to me a lot. You’re testing my patience, Jordy. But testing Kieran’s patience was one of my favorite things. It was so incredibly testable. But it seemed a little more dire than usual, and I was trying to make him feel better, not worse, so I dropped it. Kind of.
“Well, um… Thank you. For, you know, coming to my rescue earlier.”
“Whatever,” he grumbled. It was dark and our surroundings were only dimly illuminated by the light of the restaurant we’d parked pretty far back from, but I thought he might be blushing a little. My wording had probably embarrassed him.
With other people, like the other students at my school and the people who worked at the youth center, I always felt like I had to act a certain way to live up to their expectations of me.
With Kieran I could relax and be as dumb and annoying and vapid as I wanted.
But because I was always like that with him, we never really had serious conversations with each other. It felt foreign and odd, but necessary.
“I’m serious,” I insisted. “I know I’m kind of bad at this so it probably sounds fake, but… I do appreciate you.”
“I know,” he answered, and it seemed like my brief flash of vulnerability had soothed him, at least a little. “It’s fine.”
“Can I ask you a question, though?”
“I guess,” he said, after staring at me cautiously for a few seconds.
“Why do you get so upset when I talk to other guys?”
His hand tightened where it was resting on the steering wheel, until his knuckles went pale.
“I wasn’t upset that you were talking to another guy. I was upset that he was manhandling you like a fucking predator.”
“That’s not the only time, Kieran. We both know that.”
“I…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I’m an alpha. It’s my job to protect y-” Cutting himself off, he started again. “It’s my job to protect omegas. You happen to be the omega that I’m around most of the time. That’s all.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all,” he repeated firmly. “And if you wouldn’t be so fucking naive about alphas, I wouldn’t have to worry about you all the damn time.”
“Am I supposed to be scared of alphas or something?” I asked, not able to keep the smirk off my face. His jealousy was so obvious it was palpable. I loved it.
“Of course you are.”
“Even you?”
“Especially me.”
Sighing dramatically, I rested my head back onto the seat. “I don’t know, Kieran. I always feel safe with you. You’re not as scary as you think.”
“Don’t make me prove you wrong,” he warned.
I figured his patience had been tested enough for now, so I kept the conversation G-rated and totally stepbro-appropriate for the rest of the night.
I SPENT THE next few days testing the waters with what I had started thinking of as Flirting Lite. Kieran never really reciprocated, but I could tell it was starting to get to him. I was now hyper aware of the way his eyes followed me around wherever I went.
Most of the time I was just trying to think up scenarios where he absolutely couldn’t resist me. Some of them were pretty ridiculous and probably wouldn’t work. Like if I pretended to drown in the bath he’d have to give me mouth-to-mouth while I was naked. Stuff like that.
Eventually I decided on something really simple. It was a little crazy and I was kind of nervous about it, but if alphas were really like he was always saying, then there was no way it wouldn’t work. He’d be feral for me and he wouldn’t be able to hold back.
And maybe it was wrong to scheme and plot about seducing my stepbrother. But if he wasn’t so damn stubborn, I wouldn’t have to resort to underhanded tactics.
Anyway, once I made him realize that we were perfect for each other and to forget about all his reservations, I was pretty sure he was going to thank me.
When my parents both decided to go to sleep early one evening, I knew it was my time to strike. Once I was sure they were in bed, all I had left to do was wait for Kieran’s truck to pull into the drive.