Jordy #2
“Kieran.” His name tumbled out without me even meaning to say it.
“You’re so amazing, Kieran.” It was all I could say, all I could think.
Other than that I loved him, and I’d probably loved him forever, but it wasn’t the right time.
Even in the haze of mind-numbing pleasure, my brain knew that much.
I didn’t expect him to answer me back. A twinge of anxiety bloomed in my stomach as I wondered if he would pull out right away.
I wasn’t sure I could stand the emptiness so soon.
Before I could try and formulate what to say or do to make him stay, he let out a choked, strangled kind of sound against my throat.
Just an instant later I felt his dick, which I’d expected to soften, start to swell up, stimulating my inner walls even more than before.
I would have thought it impossible until that moment, but somehow my body stretched even more to accommodate him.
He’d actually knotted inside me.
“Shit.” His voice was weak and raspy. “I’m sorry, Jordy. I-I can’t…” His words were punctuated by another surge of warm cum spilling out to bathe my insides.
He didn’t need to explain it to me. Alphas and omegas were required to take special health and reproduction classes alongside the normal curriculum.
I knew exactly what was going on, how long it would last, the functional purpose for the knot, and how intense an experience it could be, especially for the alpha.
I also knew that alphas weren’t very likely to be able to knot, unless it was under two conditions.
If they were with their fated mate, or if the omega they were with was in heat. I definitely wasn’t in heat.
“It’s okay,” I panted out, chills washing over my sweat-sheened skin. “It feels so good.”
He answered me with a faint moan. The desperation in his voice, which I’d never heard so pronounced before, paired with the way his cock was constantly throbbing and pressing into my prostate, sent spirals of pleasure racing through me, and I felt my toes curl up. I couldn’t stop my hips from quivering.
Somehow, he managed to wedge his hand between our bodies, gripping my dick. He barely had to stroke it twice before I was shooting out into his hand, throwing back my head again and moaning, squeezing his cock like a fist with my convulsing muscles.
It was beyond description, like something perfect and ethereal that only we had ever experienced. I held his hips between my thighs, stroking his hair and shoulders as he was racked by orgasm after orgasm.
It was an assumed thing that alphas were always in charge and in control.
They were bigger, stronger, and more grounded, at least according to societal literature.
Omegas needed alphas. That’s what I’d always heard and what I’d always believed.
And sometimes the way I felt when I was around Kieran, and how easy it seemed for him to turn me away, made it easy to believe.
But as I stared up at the dark sky, marveling at how the pale strips of moonlight poured down on us through the treetop filter, I realized a lot of what I’d always been taught about alphas was a lie.
Kieran needed me. I had power over him. And my feelings for him weren’t some stupid, embarrassing crush.
We were meant to be together. He just wasn’t willing to admit or accept that.
Yet.
Finally, after so long, Kieran stopped shaking and groaning, slumping against me in a sweaty, exhausted heap. I felt his knot start to shrink inside me, gradually lessening the tension of my stretched channel.
He raised himself up on his elbows, staring down at me as he shifted his hips, finally slipping out of my body. I couldn’t suppress a wince at the pain, and then at the awkward feeling of his cum pouring out of me.
“I’m so sorry.”
Inhaling deeply before letting out a long sigh, I glanced back up into the trees. He could be so predictable sometimes. It could be comforting, but also so damn irritating.
It was funny. I’d just lost my virginity in the middle of the woods, on a pile of dirt and leaves and an old hoodie.
I should have been upset, in awe, excited, or something.
But a new kind of calmness and serenity had overtaken me since I’d realized that Kieran was my fated mate.
Maybe because all those questions and doubts and uncertainties that had been plaguing me for so long were gone, my brain could finally take a rest for a while.
Even if I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen in the immediate future.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” I told him. “I told you to keep going. Remember?”
“Yeah, but…” He trailed off. When I carefully wobbled up to my feet, the light ache ramped up a bit, causing me to stumble. He was on his feet instantly, gripping me around the waist to hold me steady. “Hey. Be careful.”
“I just want to rinse off a little bit,” I said, trying to ignore the fact that staring up into his concerned expression was making me swoon.
“Can you walk?”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said, immediately contradicting my assertion by letting out an involuntary little whimper with my first step.
I opened my mouth to let him know it wasn’t that bad, but before I could, my feet were being lifted off the ground, his arm scooping under the back of my knees. “Kieran!”
“Forget it,” he snapped, but there wasn’t much heat in his voice. “Just be quiet for once, and let me help you.”
“Does this mean you aren’t mad at me anymore?” I asked after a few moments, relaxing in his grasp and circling my arms around his shoulders.
“I was never mad at you,” he grumbled, staring straight ahead into the dark ocean waves. The gentle rocking motion of his steps was soothing.
“You were mad at something,” I pointed out, despite his just be quiet for once request.
“I was just…” He hesitated, like he always did before we talked about something serious. “Christ!” He hissed, as he stepped into the water up to his ankles. “It’s fucking freezing.”
“You were just?”
“I was just mad at the situation, okay?” His voice had that note of brooding anger in it, like it usually did, but it was unusually gentle. I was sure that had to do with him feeling guilty for what had happened. “Do we have to talk about this now?”
“No,” I answered. His expression became more and more miserable the further he carted us out into the water, the water sloshing around his thighs now. Thank god for the empty beach, or we’d both be getting slapped with an indecent exposure charge. “You could just kiss me instead.”
“You still want me to kiss you, after what I just did to you?” He asked, and the note of anguish that I was starting to become really familiar with rang loud and clear.
Would it get better after he eventually realized that we were mates, and that he had nothing to feel guilty over?
Then again, how long would it even take for him to realize it on his own?
I wouldn’t bash him over the head with it just yet, but I wasn’t waiting around forever either.
“Has it maybe occurred to you that I liked what we just did? And that I’m not upset?”
“You should be.”
“Are you upset?” I questioned, before letting out a yipe like a dog when the cold water lapped at my ass. Squirming, I ignored his pointed I told you so look and refrained from commenting on the glacial temperatures.
“Of course I’m upset, Jordy.” I knew how bad it was when he couldn’t meet my eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. That wasn’t right, okay?”
I felt my eyebrows furrow together as I processed his answer. There was an angle I hadn’t really considered it from.
“You mean it wasn’t right because… I didn’t do it right?
” I asked, the heat of embarrassment washing over my skin, despite the chilly water.
I should have thought of that. It wasn’t like I’d ever done it before, so it wasn’t exactly out of the question that it hadn’t been that great for him.
I’d assumed he’d enjoyed it because of how amazing it had been for me, but…
“That’s what you’re worried about?” He asked, scoffing as the water rose up to the point where he could gently lap it over my chest and belly. “You think it wasn’t good for me?”
“Well… Was it?”
Exhaling a long, deep breath, he looked up at the sky. “Yes.”
“Really good?” I prompted, biting down into my lower lip. I wasn’t asking for porno levels of praise, but anything would have been nice.
Lowering his gaze back down to me, he gave me a wry look. “Really good.”
“The best?”
“I’m going to drown you,” he warned me, causing me to scramble up and clutch his neck more tightly.
“Don’t!” I pleaded, injecting my voice with as much seductive cuteness as I could. I was pretty sure seductive cuteness was his weakness. “I just want to know if it was better for you because you were with me…”
To my surprise, an absolute miracle occurred right in front of me. The corner of his mouth perked up into a reluctant smile, despite the fact that he was shaking his head.
“Yes. It was better for me because it was with you,” he finally admitted. “Are you clean enough now? I don’t want to die of frostbite out here.”
I nodded to indicate he could start hauling us back. “Aren’t you going to ask if it was good for me?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said. But after a few seconds of my pleading puppy eyes framed by big, blinking lashes, he sighed. “Was it good for you?”
“If I say no, will you feel honor bound to prove me wrong by doing it some more?”
He snorted. “Maybe.”
“In that case, I’ve had better.”
“I know for a fact that’s a lie.”
But a lot of the tension and agony had faded from his voice. I was sure it wasn’t completely gone, but I had helped. I’d somehow made something more bearable for him. Which, for now, felt like enough.
Breathing in the salt-soaked ocean air, I nuzzled into his shoulder as we made it back onto land and he made a beeline for our pile of clothes.
“So… Was that a no on giving me a kiss?” I wondered.
“You are aware we’re naked in the middle of a public beach.”
“I am incredibly aware of that, yes.”
“If we get caught, it’s on your hands,” he pointed out, his tone comically sober.
“I’m willing to risk it,” I assured him, still clinging to his shoulders as he carefully lowered my feet to the ground.
He stared into my eyes for so long I started to worry that maybe he’d tell me he didn’t want to. Just when my pulse started to quicken, he cupped my chin, stroking his fingers over my jaw as he leaned into me, kissing me so long and deep that my lungs started to burn.
And it was definitely worth the indecent exposure risk.