Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
ELLIE
Although my head is throbbing, I remove my blood pressure cuff and crawl out of bed as soon as Landen and Noah leave and go to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I gasp with horror.
“Oh my God…”
My hair looks like it got stuck in a windmill and all my makeup rubbed off, making me look like a banged-up ghost who got electrocuted.
You’d think I’d be tan from working outside all day, but I wear a lot of sunscreen to avoid getting burnt and to prevent skin cancer.
It’s bad enough I don’t remember Landen or anything about our history. I don’t also need him seeing me like this.
It’d be my luck that I’d wake up to the sexiest man I’ve ever seen next to my bedside and he’s not my boyfriend.
A six-foot-something, blue-eyed cowboy staring at me like I’m his.
Noah’s words from a moment ago repeat in my head.
Landen continued to be nice and supportive because he liked you. He tried for years to get you to like him back. But I guess he finally realized you never would and has a girlfriend now.
If that’s true, this nagging feeling about the things I can’t place is going to drive me even more crazy. What would make me hate anyone?
As I search my brain for answers, I realize there are a lot of holes in my memory that won’t surface.
I’ve never had a seizure or concussion before, so maybe this is a completely normal side effect, but it doesn’t feel normal to me. Something is off.
Continuing to study myself, I notice a massive bruise on the side of my forehead surrounding the bump that’s covered with gauze.
I’ve fallen off Ranger before but never to this extent where I’ve hit a barrel and caused this much damage.
I wish I could go see him right now and reassure him this isn’t his fault.
We’ve been through so much together over the years and he won’t understand any of what happened.
Wetting my hands, I thread my fingers through the strands around my face. I normally keep a hair tie on my wrist or in my bag, but I don’t even know where it is. Or my phone.
I’m in an unattractive hospital gown, so my clothes must be here somewhere.
Once I’ve finished combing through the best I can and washing my face, I get myself somewhat comfortable back in bed. The pillows are too soft and the blanket is scratchy, so I’ll be happy to get out of here tomorrow and back into my own bed.
I already know my parents are going to stress out seeing me in here.
As much as they’ve supported me for the past several years, seeing me hurt is going to make them second-guess letting me continue.
It could’ve been worse, though. Whatever caused the seizure could’ve happened while I was driving and then I could’ve crashed with no one around to help me.
When Landen returns, my heart races and my chest swells with anticipation. I don’t know why I’m reacting to him this way since according to Noah, I didn’t even like him, but this feeling doesn’t feel new. Suppressed, maybe?
“Hey,” he says, pulling the chair out and taking a seat. “You look more awake now.”
“Yeah, I scared myself when I looked in the mirror, so I tried to clean up a bit. I wish I could take a shower, but I doubt they’d let me with a concussion.”
“True, you might need someone to help or at least be around to keep an eye on you.”
I raise a brow. “Are you volunteering?”
“Uh…” He smiles nervously, which is adorable. “I wasn’t, but if you needed my help, then sure.”
I chuckle at how taken back he seems. “Sorry, that probably came off a little strong. I’m not normally this forward, but whatever pain meds they have me on are giving me loose lips.”
“Trust me, I’m aware. I don’t think you’ve said more than ten words to me at a time in the past four years. Usually, it’s to tell me off, so this is a pleasant change.”
Cringing, I chew my lower lip. “Yeah, Noah told me we weren’t exactly friends.”
“I’d say more along the lines of…frenemies? Though, not from a lack of tryin’ on my end. You recently asked me to leave you alone because I was crossin’ your boundaries and so after that, I stopped tryin’.”
His words are so sincere and soft, my emotions almost take over. I tilt my head at him, wondering what in the world would’ve made me act like that.
Normally, I’m a quiet person who prefers to keep to myself, so for me not to like someone and be that rude wouldn’t be for nothing.
But fuck, I can’t remember.
Part of me wishes I could because it’s going to bother me until then, but the other part…
Would it be so bad to like him? My dating history, from what I do know, consists of less than two people. One from high school and one shortly after graduation. So it’s been a few years. But racing became my priority over everything else, and I didn’t feel the need to date.
Landen’s attractive, seems kind to have put up with me in the first place and still support my career and come to my races, and if he’s Noah’s brother, how bad can he be?
“How old are you?” I ask.
“Twenty-nine, soon to be the big three-oh.”
“And you’re not married?”
He shifts, crossing his ankle over his knee. “Nope. Not even close to marriage.”
“Noah said you have a girlfriend.”
I give myself a mental pat on the back for managing to squeeze in that question. Better to know for certain before I get my hopes up.
“I do not. I was seeing someone for like a week and a half. She wanted to move faster than I did, so I ended it.”
My brows lift. “After less than two weeks?”
“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t as ready to move on as much as I thought.”
I’m tempted to ask what that means, but I think better of it. If he wanted me to know, he would’ve said.
Grinning, I continue, “Well, I’m nowhere near marriage either. I’m pretty sure. Unless there’s a boyfriend I’ve forgotten about. But if I had one, he’d be here, right?”
“I would assume so, yes.” He chuckles. “Although you’re close with Easton, I think.”
“Oh shoot, I should call him. If I was stayin’ at his uncle’s ranch, he woulda been at the rodeo. Do you know where my phone is?”
“No, I haven’t seen it.”
“I normally keep it in my pocket. Could I borrow your phone to call mine? Maybe I’ll hear it ring or vibrate somewhere in here.”
“Yep, of course.”
He unlocks the screen and then hands it over. I smile when I see a photo of him and his siblings on his home page.
I input my number and a contact name pops up.
Little Devil.
Where have I heard that before?
Wait…
“Is this what you call me?” I ask, turning the phone around to show him.
“Uh…yeah.” His cheeks tint with embarrassment. “You weren’t a fan, but it suited you well.”
I burst out laughing. “I’m so confused by our relationship.”
His smile widens. “You and me both, honestly.”
Hitting the call button, I wait and listen for it. It’s faint, but I hear it.
“I think it’s in one of these closets…” Landen walks over and opens a few of the doors. “Aha. Here we go.”
He brings over a white plastic bag that has my clothes and boots.
Digging around, I find my cell in my jeans.
“Whew, thank goodness. Miraculously, still in perfect condition.” Once I unlock it, I check my messages and see a few from Easton. I quickly shoot him a text so he knows I’m okay.
“My hat’s not in here…” I look inside the bag again.
“Oh, it’s in my truck. I grabbed it off the ground from when you fell. I knew how important it was to you and didn’t want you to lose it.”
My heart thuds harder than before. “Wow. That was very nice of you, thank you.”
An expression of amusement covers his face as if to hear me talk to him this way is shocking.
“You’re welcome.” He shoots me a wink and the fluttering in my chest continues.
I still can’t figure out what would’ve made me not like him. He’s definitely my type. Polite. Considerate. Willing to stay here with me after he’s probably had a busy day. So why? Why did I hate this man?
“Any chance you know why I didn’t like you?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve been askin’ you for four years to tell me.”
“Shit. I dunno what to say besides I’m sorry. I wanna say it’s probably something silly like you tripped me, but hating you for four years over that would be excessive.”
Landen chuckles at my frustration, but if it isn’t the sexiest laugh I’ve ever heard.
“The day we met…” He stops himself. “Fuck. I’m not supposed to tell you.”
“What, why?”
“Dr. Murray said it would confuse your mind if we told you too much. You won’t know if a memory is something you’re remembering or just remembering what you were told.”
“Well, that sucks…how am I supposed to get to know you if you can’t tell me these things?”
“You wanna get to know me?”
“Yeah…hasn’t that been obvious?”
He removes his white ball cap and flips it backward like a habit when he’s flustered.
“I’m not sure I should let you get to know me, Ellie.” When he frowns, I know I’m not going to like what he says next. “When your memory of me returns, which I’m sure it will, you’ll hate me even more for allowing you to get close to me.”
Fuck me.
And he’s selfless.
Ellie Donovan, why did you hate this man? I wish I could go back in time and smack myself for not taking the chance when it was in front of me.
Sadness consumes me, and I beg myself not to cry because I’m not a crier.
That has to be the meds making me more emotional than usual.
“But what if it doesn’t?” My voice cracks. “Dr. Murray said that sometimes it never comes back.”
His shoulder lifts in a weak shrug. “If it doesn’t in a few weeks, then I’ll tell you about the day we first met and you can decide from there if you still want to get to know me.”
“Can’t you break the rules a little and just tell me now? Or at least something about it? Where? When?”
He chews his bottom lip as he considers.
“Alright, but then you can’t tell. I don’t need Noah scoldin’ me.” He smirks, and I nod in agreement.
He blows out a breath as if he’s preparing for the worst. “You arrived at the ranch to board Ranger. Noah asked me to help with your training so you’d be ready for the next season in just a few months.
I hadn’t known I was meetin’ you that day and was wearin’ a shirt that you found insulting.
Then you caught me checkin’ out your ass and accused me of sexualizing you.
Granted, I made a bad first impression. You’ve basically hated me since then. ”
I furrow my brows because why would one bad introduction piss me off to this level four years later?
I would’ve been nineteen when we met, so him looking at my ass wouldn’t have been that inappropriate. And I’m not some prude who gets upset over a shirt.
“That’s wild…and it’s wild that I don’t remember that.” I rack my brain for any sense of remembrance of that day and it’s blank. Not even a blur. No memory of bringing Ranger to the ranch at all. I don’t even know the last thing I do remember.
“I’m sure that’ll clear. You smacked your head quite hard and havin’ a concussion can fuck you up for a while.”
“Can you tell me something else? Maybe during training or when we’ve seen each other at the ranch?”
“I shouldn’t.”
When I pout, he grins. “Trust me, I want to, but not yet. Maybe in a few days.”
“Okay, fair enough.”
“Do you wanna rest before your parents arrive?”
“I probably should. I was gonna ask for some more pain meds because my head feels like it’s drowning.”
Landen grabs a remote and hands it to me. “Just press the red button and the nurse will come. But feel free to close your eyes and sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”