Chapter 12 #2
“Thank you!” She wraps her arms around me so unexpectedly, I almost miss her touch before she pulls away.
“Text me when you’re done at the restaurant. I’ll come pick y’all up if I’m on my way home.”
“Oh my God, it’s a sexy cowboy! Over here! Come and get us!” Mattie whistles, waving her arm above her head like a lasso.
Jesus Christ, they’re loaded.
“Do y’all usually get this drunk on a weekday?”
“Huh? We’re not drunk.” Delilah lifts herself up into the truck but then slips and falls face-first onto the passenger seat.
Mattie laughs uncontrollably behind her, then helps push her in.
“See? Totally sober.”
“Yeah, we only had one margarita,” Mattie adds, then burps. “Plus five.”
Jonah walks up behind them, and I grind my molars. She didn’t tell me he’d be tagging along.
“Sorry, man…they kept orderin’ every time I wasn’t lookin’.”
I give a stiff nod and a forced close-mouthed smile. “Do you need a ride, too?”
“Nah, I only had one beer when we first got here. I woulda taken ’em home, but they said you were already on the way.”
“I don’t mind.”
My anger management class is thirty minutes away and lasts about forty-five minutes if I don’t stick around for small talk. As soon as she texted that they were on dessert, I booked ass to get here before they left.
Once the girls are in, Jonah closes the door, then rounds the front of my truck. “Delilah told me about what she asked you. So I just wanted to say I appreciate it and no hard feelings if it doesn’t work out.”
“It’s fine. I called my dad already and he said he’d give you a two-week trial run. But you’re gonna be stuck doin’ bitch work.”
He beams like the thought of that makes him happy. “That’s fine with me! Whatever it takes to support Raven.”
I nod, feeling less worried about giving him a chance. “Be there at six-thirty.”
“You got it, boss.”
“Don’t call me that,” I blurt. “Just…Wilder is fine.”
He smirks. “I was just messin’ with ya. Good luck with those two.”
“Yeah, thanks.” I laugh.
The girls tell him goodbye and then I drive toward their apartment.
“Aww…you two are buddies now!” Delilah taunts.
“Butt buddies!” Mattie shouts.
They both giggle, adding to my annoyance.
How did Waylon tolerate me being drunk for all those years? Is this my punishment? I can’t drink, so now I get to deal with these drunks instead?
I’m sure he’d get a kick out of it too.
“You’re gonna have the hottest threesome ever,” Mattie tells Delilah. “Can I watch?”
“No!” Delilah scolds, but when Mattie whines, she adds, “Fine, you can listen. But no lookin’ or touchin’.”
“Deal! I’ll use a toy anyway.”
“The pink or black one?”
“Jesus fucking Christ. You two are way too fuckin’ close,” I mutter, shaking my head at how loud and obnoxious they’re being.
“Ooh, should we tell him about your butt plug incident now?”
I damn near swerve off the road.
I’ve never seen Delilah this drunk before, probably because she was always taking care of my drunk ass, but holy shit. There’s no filter on either of them.
“Nooo…that’s embarrassing!”
“But it’s sooo funny.”
“Yeah, for you maybe. But you weren’t the one who had it stuck inside you—on vibrate—and then lost the remote!”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, exhaling through my mouth.
Do not pop a boner.
“Again…I don’t wanna know, but how the hell does that happen?” I ask.
“She dared me to do it during a drinkin’ game and then we got too drunk to remember where the remote was.”
“And too drunk to figure out how to get it outta there,” Mattie adds, tears streaming down her cheeks as she laughs. “I had to split her cheeks and slather her booty hole in baby oil.”
“You weren’t supposed to tell him that!” Delilah whisper-shouts.
“Why not? You have a nice ass. Big and round, with cute freckles on your cheeks.”
And now I’m pitching a tent.
Delilah’s face is beet red as she squeezes her eyes.
“If he ain’t gonna tap it, someone else will…” Mattie taunts, and now my face is red.
“Okay, here we are…” I announce, pulling into a parking spot in front of their apartment building. “I’m gonna walk y’all inside.”
“You wanna see her freckles too, dontcha?” Mattie quips, nearly falling out of the truck as she opens the door.
“I wanna erase the last five minutes out of my memory,” I mutter, getting out to help them.
They loop their arms together as they skip to their door, nearly tripping and face-planting the sidewalk.
“Gimme the keys,” I say, grabbing them from Mattie’s hand.
Once I unlock the door, I wait for them to get inside and then do a quick sweep through their place to make sure nothing looks suspicious. Besides the pile of laundry on the floor and the sink full of dishes, nothing looks out of the ordinary.
“Are we safe, detective cowboy?” Delilah plops on the couch, nearly falling off on her way down.
Mattie stumbles next to her. “If you’re so worried, you can sleep in my bed tonight. I don’t bite…but I do suck.”
Delilah and her giggle, and now I know I owe Waylon the biggest apology for putting up with me over the years. Delilah too, but if this is payback, we’re even now.
“I would rather drown in hot sauce…” I say under my breath.
Standing in front of Delilah, I grip her chin so she’ll meet my gaze. “If you need anythin’, please call me. Got it?”
“Yes, sir,” she mocks with a salute.
Lord help me.