Chapter 13 #2
Without saying anything more, he took Evans out of her arms. It surprised Charity that Evans went willingly. Normally after he’d been in the nursery for a while, he was clingy until he had been assured that his mother wasn’t going to leave him again anytime soon.
“It’s not your job to pick them up,” she said easily.
“There are two kids, and it’s easier if you have help. That’s my job. As the dad.”
His words hung in the air between them. The hall was deserted and was just the two of them, so the words rang extra loud.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. If you’re going to be a dad, you do need to learn to do these things.”
“To remember to do them. I have to remember before I can learn.” He said that, and it felt like the awkwardness disappeared.
She didn’t know why the idea of him being a dad felt so…weird. Because she knew that was his plan.
Still, it had taken her a little bit unaware, and she hugged those words to her heart.
How could she have been so blessed? This man who wanted to marry her didn’t just want to take care of her, protect her, and provide for her children, he wanted to be a dad.
To give her children the male influence that they needed in their lives, to give her a helping hand, taking care of their children together. Their children. Not hers, theirs.
Was it really real? It seemed to be. He didn’t seem to think anything of it as they walked out together, him chatting with Evans as they moved to where Gifford and Banks sat together at the far table, pie in front of them.
“I hope it was okay that I got the boys some pie. I didn’t think to ask.”
“And I didn’t think to ask if it was okay if they went on the sleigh ride that Amy and Jones and Judd are offering as soon as they get the horses hitched up. I told Amy they’d be there. She even said she’d take Evans.”
“That’s fine. I guess we each have some adjustments to make.” His eyes, sparkling but serious, glanced down at her.
She nodded. “The pie is fine. It’s Christmas Eve. I hardly think it’s going to hurt them. Plus, it’s a special day.”
“That’s what I thought, but I should have asked. We’ll figure it out.”
“I suppose. I appreciate you not being upset with me.”
“I could say the same thing. After all, I’m a newcomer, and you are already set in your ways, so I want this adjustment to not be too much.”
“We both need to adjust. If you’re helping, it should be both of us making decisions, not just me.”
“I’m definitely helping. I guess we didn’t really talk about that, but that was my plan.”
“I’m kind of figuring that out, and I appreciate it. More than I can say, to be honest.”
As they reached the table, she looked around, finding Lavinia playing with a few other girls across the fellowship hall.
“I’m going to run and get Lavinia, so she can eat too. That way, she’ll be around when they’re ready to go for the ride.”
“Sounds good,” he said. “I’ll get everybody settled and wait on you.”
“Thanks,” she said. It was unusual for her to be able to leave her children to go get another. Normally she would have to drag both Evans and Serafina with her in order to get Lavinia, since she couldn’t leave either one of them unattended at the table.
Having someone helping her was going to take a little bit of time to get used to. But that feeling of the future having promise, rather than just looking bleak, grew more pronounced.
It wasn’t long till she had Lavinia back at the table, with the rest of the kids, where Wilson had put a piece of pie and got a drink for each of them except for the youngest two.
He even had a piece for her. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had gotten her a piece of pie, or food of any kind, and brought it to her. Other than yesterday when he’d taken her out for lunch.
Maybe her life really was going to change. How could she not admire Wilson for instigating all of those changes?
She sat down, and he said a short prayer, and then like a real family, they started eating together.
The kids had barely finished their pie when Amy came to the door and announced that the kids were invited to go for a sleigh ride.
“Make sure you keep your coats on, guys,” she said as Gifford and Banks got up to run to the door.
“If you give me Serafina, I’ll take her and Evans, and I’ll ride along,” Wilson offered, holding his hand out for Serafina who had been sitting on Charity’s lap.
Her brows rose. But she didn’t say anything, just made sure Serafina’s face was wiped, put her hat down on her head, and handed her over.
He gave her a jaunty smile and then walked out with Serafina in one arm, Evans in the other, and Lavinia walking beside him. The boys scooted on ahead, but occasionally they looked back to make sure that he was coming.
“He’s quite a guy, isn’t he?” Kyra said as she settled into the space that the children had left.
“I can’t quite believe he’s real. If that means he’s quite a guy, then so be it.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure that means he’s quite a guy.” Kyra looked after him, then smiled as she glanced back at Charity. “You look shell-shocked.” She tilted her head. “Are you not happy?”
“I… I’m having trouble processing everything.
But I’m definitely happy. I just can’t believe that it’s going to last, you know?
I mean, it’s one thing to deal with kids for a little bit, it’s another thing to handle the drudgery of day in and day out.
” Plus, there was the little fact that he didn’t really love her and wasn’t marrying her because he wanted to spend more time with her.
But that wasn’t necessarily something she wanted to talk about.
“Why don’t you just trust? Trust the Lord, trust Wilson, and let go. It’s like you’re almost afraid that if you think that things are going to be happy, they’re going to evaporate in front of you.”
“Well, that’s been my experience.”
“But you can’t let that color the rest of your life, you know?
” Kyra lifted a shoulder and glanced around the room.
“I’m not really a good person to talk. You know I’m not married and I have no prospects.
And here you are a mother of five, with far more experience than I have with men and motherhood. ”
“Just because I have experience doesn’t make me wise,” Charity said, knowing it was true.
“All right, I guess I just feel like you need to enjoy it. It might not last. You might be right. But if you keep yourself from enjoying it now, does it make it any different when it finally ends? Other than you were miserable the whole time, instead of being miserable with the ending.”
“I guess I feel like I don’t have as far to fall when everything gets pulled out from under me, if I’m not enjoying it. You know? Like, you have a much harder landing if you never saw the end coming and didn’t prepare for it.”
Kyra nodded and seemed to understand. “I can understand what you’re saying. But you see my point?”
“I do. And you’re right. I might as well enjoy it. It might not last. Maybe he’ll figure out that this was a lot harder than what he thought it was going to be.”
“And maybe he’ll fall in love with you, and he’ll dig in, and he’ll be there for the long haul, and the two of you will grow old together, and yeah, it’ll be hard, there will be heartbreak, there will be times where you cry, but that’s the way life is.
It is not just you having a husband who leaves you with five small children.
Yeah, that was pretty big. But every life has big and little problems.”
Kyra looked at her, sincere, like she wanted Charity to understand.
And Charity knew she was right. She knew that there were lots of problems in the world, she wasn’t the only one.
She wasn’t even the only one whose husband had left, and there were worse things that could happen.
Maybe not in a relationship, but she could have had cancer when he left, or he could have left her with a child in the hospital.
But all of her children were healthy, she was healthy, and she should look at her blessings, rather than being scared to embrace them, for fear that they would disappear.
“I needed that talk today. Thank you,” she said, smiling at her friend and truly appreciating the fact that Kyra had seen something off and hadn’t been afraid to tell her about it.
“All right, you know you can go out and watch. They’re going up and down the street, so your kids will enjoy waving to you as they go by if you’re out there standing.”
“All right. That’s a good idea.” Charity and Kyra stood and walked out, and just as Kyra had said, the horses and wagon were coming back down the street with the kids singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs and only occasionally Amy’s sweet soprano to be heard above the din.
Wilson seemed to be having a good time, with Serafina and Evans sitting on his lap.
His back was toward Charity as they came down the street, but Gifford and Banks saw her and waved excitedly, calling out to her.
That made Wilson turn, and he gave her a grin, pointing her out to Serafina and Evans who both managed to get chubby little hands in the air and move them back and forth.
She was not used to such a sweet sight, to see her kids having a good time, and to see a man who had been willing to step in and give her a hand.
She determined in her heart that she would be the best wife that she could possibly be, although her confidence in her ability to be a good wife was probably at an all-time low.
After all, Clancy had told her she was a terrible wife, and that was the reason he had to find someone else.
But maybe Kyra’s advice could apply to that situation as well.
After all, Clancy was in the wrong. No matter how bad of a wife she was, he never should have left her, and if she looked on the bright side, she had learned a few things, and she would be a better wife now than she ever had been before.