Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
“ Y ou seem extra thoughtful tonight,” Terry said as she came over to Judd’s chair and began to knead his shoulders gently.
He closed his eyes. Terry had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wasn’t quite sure why God saw fit to give him such an amazing wife, but he was very, very grateful.
Her fingers worked magic on his shoulders, and he felt his whole body relaxing.
“I guess it’s a thoughtful night.” It was Christmas night.
They had spent most of the day at Terry’s family’s house.
There was so much going on with her siblings, with all the kids, and the excitement and the happiness of watching them open their gifts, and seeing the family banter and enjoy each other’s company.
It couldn’t compare to going to his house where his mother required formal dress and the dinner conversation was boring, at best.
But they were finally home, and he had settled himself in the recliner after building a fire for them both to enjoy.
“Is that all it is?” Terry asked gently, and he knew that was her way of saying that if he didn’t want to tell her, he didn’t have to. But he always wanted to tell her everything. There were just some things he couldn’t.
But since things had worked out for Wilson, he supposed it was okay for him to say this one thing.
“I’ve lost my partner in the Secret Saint endeavors.”
“You have?” she asked, her voice surprised, her fingers stilling for a moment before they started again, soothing and relaxing his muscles.
“I did. I’m a little bummed about it.”
“Who?” she asked, and then she added immediately, “If you can tell me.”
“I think I can. Since he has officially quit his duties.” Terry wrote for the town social media site, and her specific job was to detail the actions of the Secret Saint and postulate on his identity. That was part of the reason that Judd had not shared this information with her previously.
“Who?” she asked, her fingers remaining gentle despite the excitement in her voice.
“Your brother, Wilson.”
Her fingers stopped completely, and she moved around his chair to stand in front of him, her hands on her hips.
“No way. You’re kidding, right?” She tilted her head and looked at him as though she were trying to tell whether he was lying or not. He knew she knew that he was honest, so he wasn’t worried about that, but it probably was taking her a little bit of extra time to adjust to this.
“It’s true. Wilson was my partner and most of the time the one who came up with the ideas.
And who was in a better position to do it than Wilson?
After all, he’s got your mom’s contacts with all of her friends, plus all of your siblings.
He pretty much is connected to everything in the town of Mistletoe Meadows. ”
“That makes perfect sense. Half the time, I wondered if my mom was involved.”
“She doesn’t know. At least as far as I know, she doesn’t know.”
“Not unless Wilson would have told her. But I don’t think he had. I don’t think he’s told anyone, or surely I would have heard about it.”
“He will play this pretty tight to the vest, and now that you’re in the position that you’re in, no one’s probably going to be telling you anything.”
“I know. It stinks. Except, I’m actually in on it.” She grinned and knelt down in front of him, picking up one of his stocking feet and rubbing the bottom of it.
His eyes drifted until they were half closed, and he grinned at her. “I knew there was a reason I married you.”
“Oh, stop. You’ve done so much for me, and I feel bad that I’m not around as much as I would like to be. The practice has kept me busier than I thought.”
“That’s because people love you. And people from other towns are coming here. You know you could close and stop accepting new patients.”
“I know. I should do that or hire another doctor to work with me.” She sighed.
“I spent all my life so far studying and working, and I know that this is my time to earn money, and I started later than most people did, but… I just want to be with you. I know that’s normal for newlyweds, but it’s a real effort to get out of bed and go to work in the morning. ”
“We didn’t have to do it today.”
“And I don’t have to do it tomorrow either. What do you suppose we ought to do?”
“I don’t know. You tell me,” he said, his eyes glinting at her.
They grinned together, and he had a pretty good idea of what they would be doing tomorrow morning, and he was definitely looking forward to it.
“What about children?” Terry asked after she rubbed his foot for a little longer.
He didn’t say anything right away, and she carefully put that foot down and picked up his other foot, ministering to it the same way, and he found himself working hard to not fall asleep.
Children. What did he think about them?
“Well, we had a wagon full of children this evening, and I thought that was fun. Mostly because all I had to do was drive the horses.”
“You were an only child. Maybe you don’t like kids?”
“What does being an only child have to do with liking children?”
“I’m sorry. I suppose you’re right. That wasn’t fair.”
“No, I understood what you were saying. My parents obviously had a different philosophy than yours, and you are wondering if I share it.”
“Something we probably should have talked about before we got married.”
“Why? If you don’t want any kids, I’m okay with that, and if you want twenty, I’m okay with that too. As long as I get you in the bargain.”
“Really? You don’t care?”
She sounded so shocked, he felt like he needed to go back over in his mind what he truly believed.
“I guess I really enjoy being at your family’s with all the hubbub and the craziness and all that, but I know that for you, you’ve worked hard to be where you are, and if you have children, you’re probably going to need someone else to watch them for you.
I can help in the off-season, and if you want me to, I could even quit my job and raise them for us, but I guess you’re the one who is going to be the most impacted. ”
“If you quit your job, it will impact you.”
“Not like it would impact you. I haven’t worked for the last twelve years to get a degree so that I can practice.”
“True. Still, this isn’t just about me. It has to be about us. Otherwise, it’s not fair.”
“A lot of times, the things in life aren’t fair.”
“I know that’s true.”
She set his foot down gently and moved closer to him, running both hands up and down his calves. That felt almost as good as what she had done to his feet.
“I want you to have an opinion. It bothers me that you don’t.”
“What’s your opinion?” he asked, feeling bad that he had disappointed her. He didn’t want to, but what he had said was true. Whatever worked for her would work for him. He would make sure of it.
“I want a family like I grew up in. I love having a lot of siblings, but I also want to work. You’re right. I spent more than eight years in school to be able to do what I’m doing now. I don’t want to not do it. It’s important to me.”
“So there you go. That’s why my opinion has to be fluid, because you’re the one who’s caught in the dilemma.”
“Maybe once I get my student loans paid off, and I can quit my job if I want to, we can have as many kids as God gives us?”
“If you want to wait that long.”
She paused, looking up at him like she was trying to figure out what he was trying to say. He waited.
“You think I might…be too old by the time I have everything paid off and I’m financially ready to have children?”
“Maybe?” He didn’t know. There were advances in medical techniques which he knew she would know more about than he did, but nothing was guaranteed.
“Even if you were young, there’s no guarantee that you could have children.
You know? It’s kind of arrogant to assume that as soon as we’re ready, God will be ready to bless us. ”
“It is.” She sat thoughtfully, and he waited. He supposed if he thought about it, he’d really want children, and especially now that he had Terry. Because he wouldn’t want to have them with just anyone.
“And there’s no guarantee that I’ll be any kind of a good dad. I guess I worry about that a little bit too. Since you’re right, I was an only child, and I didn’t really see my parents parent anything other than me, and I wasn’t exactly a difficult child.”
“My mom is full of wisdom.” She paused, and then she said, “But she’s getting older every year too. There is no guarantee that she’ll be around if we wait to have kids.”
“Maybe it’s not supposed to be our decision.” He just let that statement hang as she thought about it.
“You mean, we should allow God to decide?”
“Isn’t it funny that we say ‘allow’ like we’re in charge. When in reality, He made the universe, He made us, how dare we think we know better than Him?”
“All right. That was a pretty powerful statement, and I think you’re right on every level. I can’t decide anyway. So why don’t I just take it out of my hands, because maybe it shouldn’t have been there to begin with.”
“Maybe,” he said as she straightened, putting her arms on his legs and leaning toward him.
“Now. It’s Christmas, and we’re done with all the festivities, and we’re home at last. What do you think we ought to do?”
He grinned, because she really didn’t need to ask him. There was only one thing he wanted to do. Be with her.
“Come here,” he said, lifting her gently and setting her in his lap. “This is a better place to think about something as difficult as that. I’m sure if we spend enough time thinking about it, we can figure something out.”
Her lips touched his temple while his fingers ran up her arm. “You think?”
“Yeah. We’re reasonably intelligent, and together we’re sure to come up with something.”
She smiled as her lips trailed down his cheek, and finally they met his, and maybe they were both reasonably intelligent, but he didn’t do much thinking after that.