Chapter 17 Autumn
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AUTUMN
Lynn was hooked up to wires and machines, the constant noises both distracting and comforting. Her doctor was concerned and blunt.
“She hit her head hard. It’s serious. But for now, she’s stable. Luckily, we were able to stop the swelling, and her brain function looks good. Her hip needs to be replaced, which will hopefully happen in the next couple of days. We don’t want to wait too long and risk infection.”
“Will she pull through?”
“I can’t answer that, but we are hopeful. She is strong and in good physical condition.”
“What can I do?”
“Talk to her, let her know you’re here. I strongly believe in that. We’ll be monitoring her closely.”
I sat beside Lynn, holding her hand and talking.
I rambled on about everything. My first-class flight.
My time in Scotland. The cottage. More about Sully.
Everything I could think of. On occasion, she opened her eyes but didn’t speak or squeeze my hand when I asked her to.
Doctors and nurses came and went, checking IVs, adding notes to their charts, and leaving.
After a few hours, I shifted in my chair, my back aching and tired. There was a knock at the door, and Davey walked in, carrying a bag.
“For you from Mrs. Black,” he said. “Please eat.”
He left, and I opened the bag. It held a bowl of steaming soup and a hearty sandwich.
I frowned, not feeling very hungry. But I dipped the spoon into the soup, the broth flavorful and rich.
I did feel better once I had eaten, and I put the sandwich aside for later.
A while later, I opened the door and peered out, not surprised to see Davey in the waiting area.
“It’s getting late and I’m not leaving. You can go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I watched Lynn for a while, then dug into my carry-on I had brought up with me.
I found my small tube of hand cream and rubbed some into her hands as I talked to her more.
I hummed a little, some of her favorite songs.
I didn’t have a great voice, but I could carry a tune.
She sang like a nightingale and loved music, so I hoped my attempt reached her somehow.
I talked some more, the sky outside the window dark, the ward growing silent as people left and patients settled for the night.
There was no doubt she had been moved into a private room.
Sully or his cousins must have arranged that, as well as the doctor.
The space was nice, the chair beside the bed certainly an upgrade from the normal hard plastic ones you usually sat in to visit someone.
There was a TV, which I didn’t turn on, and a small washroom with a shower.
It still had the hospital smell I hated and the ugly linoleum floors.
The door opened again, and Davey appeared, this time a large bag in hand.
“I said to go home.” I frowned.
He handed me the bag. “I’m leaving now, but you must let us know when you want to go to the hotel. Don’t leave without me.”
I nodded and peered into the bag when he left. There was a pillow and a soft, light blanket. A handwritten note.
So you can be comfortable.
Rest when you can—
Anna
I was amazed at the kindness. The generosity. And the reason behind it made my heart ache. I had a sudden need to see Sully. To feel his arms around me and hear him soothing me, assuring me everything would be okay.
I wanted to call him and hear his voice, but I was too much of a coward.
And I wasn’t sure I had that right. I told him not to come, so I shouldn’t bother him.
I stared out the window, thinking I had made a big mistake.
And I wasn’t sure how to correct it.
SULLY
I stared at the floor of my closet where Autumn’s suitcases had been. She’d taken everything. Her toiletries were gone. Her robe. All of it.
As if she wasn’t planning on returning.
I shut my eyes and shook my head. It was probably easier just to take everything with her rather than decide what to leave.
Because she was coming back, right?
I ran a hand through my hair, feeling exhausted. I had worked diligently until Wednesday evening, handing the completed files to the correct parties. Then I jumped on the next flight home, rushing back to the flat, even though I knew she was in Canada.
I had spoken to Niall. Knew Autumn was at the hospital and had been there since they’d dropped her off. He assured me they’d taken food and items to make her more comfortable.
The doctor’s report was simple. No change.
I hadn’t heard from her. Not a call or a text. It took everything in me not to call or text her.
And somehow walking in and finding her suitcases gone felt devastating to me, even as I rationalized it in my mind. I sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, dragging her pillow close. I held it to my face, the scent of her filling my head. Light, floral, and feminine. She always smelled so good.
My phone rang, and I answered right away, seeing it was Anna. My heart sped up.
“Anna. Did something happen?”
“No. I’m calling to see when you’re coming.”
“She asked me not to.”
Anna snorted lightly. “And you believed her?”
“She said she had to handle this alone.”
“I thought I had to handle my life alone too. Niall showed me I was wrong. She needs you, Sully. I went to the hospital. She is struggling to stay brave, but she is so worried. It broke my heart to leave her.”
“Has she left the hospital at all?”
“No. I took her a change of clothing and some toiletries today. She let me sit with her aunt while she showered, then insisted she was fine and I could go. She is very stubborn.”
“Aye.” I paused. “She took all her things, Anna.”
“And?”
“It feels as if she left for good.”
“Sully, she probably wasn’t thinking and just packed on autopilot.”
“She hadn’t unpacked most of it yet,” I admitted.
She clucked her tongue. “Then I think you need to stop overthinking.”
“And?”
“Get on the next plane you can. Or call Finn and get him to charter you one.”
“What if she refuses to see me?”
“Then visit your cousins.”
And she hung up.
AUTUMN
Time had its own beat, sitting by Lynn’s bed.
Night and day blended, and I wasn’t sure what day it was.
Anna came by, insisting I shower and go for a walk.
I met Finn and Una, each of them kind and wanting to help.
Meals appeared at various times and I tried to eat, but my appetite was nonexistent.
I drank coffee and water, nibbled on the sandwiches, sipped the soup, but it was all I wanted.
Lynn’s eyes fluttered open on occasion, and she had squeezed my hand once. Her doctor informed me they planned on performing surgery tomorrow if she remained stable.
“We don’t want to risk complications,” he said as he explained everything to me.
“Okay,” I agreed.
I heard a soft knock, and Anna came in, carrying another bag I knew contained dinner. Twilight had settled outside the window, and there was a layer of frost outside.
She offered me a smile as she set down the bag. “Shepherd’s pie from the hotel,” she said quietly. “Finn thought it might tempt you.”
“Maybe in a bit.”
“Autumn, why don’t you go to the hotel and sleep? Really sleep. I’ll stay with your aunt. Niall will sit with her as well.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You’re exhausted. Not eating. I’m worried. There must be something I can get you.”
I knew she was trying to help, so I kept my tone soft. “If something happens, I need to be here. She was there for me for so many years. The least I can give her is my company, so she isn’t alone when she wakes up.” My voice broke a little. “I can’t leave her.”
“I understand. Is there something I can get you? Anything?”
I turned away so she didn’t see the plea in my eyes. I needed Sully. I’d had a lot of time to sit and reflect. To think of my life with him, versus my life without him.
I cleared my throat and met her eyes. “How do you handle it?” I asked quietly.
She perched on the end of the bed carefully, not disturbing Lynn.
She knew what I was asking without my having to explain.
“Niall took me from a situation that was horrific. He rescued me. I fell in love with him, knowing his world wasn’t the same as mine.
His contained much more violence and danger than I even realized existed.
But it was my world that put me into the situation he rescued me from.
I fell for the man. I accepted his world because of who he is.
And without his world, I wouldn’t be here now.
He was worried he wasn’t good enough because of it, but the truth was, and is, that I am safer in his world than not.
” She smiled kindly. “And no one will love you the way a Black will. Sully and Niall are very similar. So is Finn. They love deeply. Endlessly. With so much devotion, you will never doubt your place in their life.”
“I miss him,” I whispered. “I think I hurt him, and I don’t know how to ask him to forgive me.”
She stood and patted my arm. “Our men are very forgiving. If you ask, he will be there for you.” She smiled. “Who do you think had us arrange the room? The meals? Even the flowers that arrived today with no card?”
“I thought that was you and Niall. You brought them in.”
“No, it was Sully. Let your heart guide you, Autumn. It knows what it needs.”
Then she bent and kissed my cheek. “And I like you. It would be fun to be related.” She looked toward Lynn. “I’ll leave you and see you tomorrow. I’m as close as the phone.”
The room was quiet after she left. I picked up my phone, then put it down again, feeling like a coward. It was the middle of the night in Scotland, I reasoned with myself. I didn’t even know if Sully was home yet or still in Dublin. I would call him in the morning.
Darkness descended, and I sat beside the bed, humming and talking nonsense to Lynn. I was so tired. My back ached, my head hurt, and I was chilled.
I pulled the blanket over me, curling into the chair, resting my chin on my hand.
I dozed, a dream filtering through my mind.
Sully crouched beside me, his long fingers stroking my neck and head.
His warm, masculine scent wrapped around me.
I felt the heat of his body. He whispered my name, his favorite endearment sounding like music as he asked me to open my eyes.
I whimpered his name, my voice trembling.
“I miss you so much, Sully. I need you.”
“I’m here, mo fhiadh beag. Open your eyes, love.”
I startled awake, staring into the deep brown irises of Sully. In seconds, I was wrapped in his arms, weeping into his chest. He held me tightly, letting me cry, running his hand up and down my back.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed.
“No apologies. I’m here now. I’m not leaving. I am never leaving you.”
I pushed myself farther into his embrace. He sat down, wrapping me even tighter. I gripped him as hard as I could.
He was here.
I wasn’t alone.
And I knew, from now on, I never would be.
SULLY
It felt so right to have her back in my arms again.
It seemed like years, not days, since I had held her.
I hated how upset she was, but I was thankful I was here.
She wept against my chest, her hand gripping my shirt as she cried.
I stroked her back, making soft noises in my throat meant to soothe.
As the storm passed, she sighed, a long, shuddering breath that conveyed her sadness as much as her tears had.
I slipped some tissues into her hand as she sat up, wiping her face and blowing her nose.
Our eyes met in the dim light of the hospital room.
In the short time she’d been here, she’d lost weight, her face thinner.
Drawn. Exhaustion was etched under her eyes.
She was pale and wan. And still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
I cupped her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Mo fhiadh beag.”
“You came.”
“I will always come.”
Her lips trembled again. “I—”
I shook my head, stopping her words. “Not needed, love. You don’t have to explain or apologize. I came because Anna said you needed me.”
“I do.”
“Then that is all that matters. I’m here for whatever you need.”
“I need you for everything,” she whispered. “I love you.”
My heart soared at her words, expanding and settling into a steady rhythm that had been out of step since I’d walked away from her.
“I love you. Tell me what you need.”
Her gaze drifted to Lynn. “I want her to wake up.”
“Don’t give up hope.”
I settled her on my lap and faced us so she could see her aunt. The machines did their job, pumping medicine and oxygen into her system, tracking her vitals.
“She hasn’t opened her eyes in a long time.”
“She’s resting. Gathering her strength.”
“I talk to her a lot. Hum to her. She loves music,” she said, indicating the small machine on the table emitting the soft sounds. “I told Anna, and she brought the radio.”
“Good. I asked them to look after you.”
“They are all so kind.”
“Aye. They are good folk. Finn chartered a plane so I could get here quickly. They made sure I was fed and awake to come to you. Niall found the best doctors. Arranged the room.”
“I can never repay them. Or you.”
I slid my fingers under her chin. “There is no payment due. You’re mine—therefore, it is my responsibility to look after you. And because you’re mine, you’re their family too.”
She sighed and put her head on my shoulder. “Okay,” she agreed quietly.
She took her aunt’s hand. “Lynn, this is Sully. I told you all about him.”
I cleared my throat. “Hello, Lynn. I look forward to getting to know you.”