Chapter 13 #3
“Let me help,” I said, and she nodded as she got to her feet.
“Inhale,” I said, and she squeezed her stomach in. Once I tightened the knot, she exhaled deeply.
“I hope it won’t hurt you,” I remarked, and she shook her head.
“I’ll come out of it as soon as the ceremony ends. Plus, I need to lose weight. It’s not looking good on me,” she said, pouting her lips, and I shook my head.
“You look beautiful as always, even cuter,” I said, and a broad smile appeared on her face.
“I’ll ask Rudra to help me lose weight,” I furrowed in confusion.
“How can he help?”
And she gave me a side-eye, saying, “With sex.”
Her bold words instantly reminded me of Kunwar Agastya, and I couldn’t help but lower my gaze.
Part of me wanted to tell her everything, but that would create problems for his wedding, if it happened. Besides, it wasn’t my place to be a hurdle in that. He had to make everyone aware if it meant anything to him.
But I didn’t know why seeing him with Princess Rashmika made me feel bad, especially after what happened the other night. The image of his face licking my fingers was still vivid in my mind. His eyes appeared devilishly attractive, and his soft curls looked cute.
“Why are you smiling?” Nandani pulled me out of my thoughts, and I quickly shook my head.
“Um… It’s the princess’s naming ceremony,” I babbled, and she smiled.
“Yes, Suman, I can’t believe how far we’ve come, but…
” she paused, and I noticed her expression change as she grew upset.
Her cheeks flushed red, and I held her hands.
“But I wish Baapu-sa28 were here with us. I wished for him to see his grandchild. I wanted him to be my first child.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and I shook my head.
“He’s still watching you, Nandani. But from a better place,” I said, and she sank onto the couch, letting her tears flow, sobbing softly.
“Even though I’m happy I have everything, it feels like a void. You know he would’ve cried seeing the baby. He loved children and had always been supportive and positive. I never thought he’d be taken away so soon.”
I kneeled before her, gulping silently, and as he sobbed, I wiped away her tears.
“He was in pain, Nandani. Given his condition, he wouldn’t have felt happy even if he were here.
It would be too selfish to think only about your pain.
And trust me, he may not be able to talk to you, but right now, seeing you cry for him, must pain him too, for his beautiful, powerful daughter.
I don’t think he would want to see you crying at your daughter’s auspicious naming ceremony.
He would want you to remember him with happiness.
That’s what he asked everyone to do when he left: to remember him happily, so his soul feels content seeing his family smile,” I said, wiping her tears. “Let’s bring back that smile,”
She chuckled softly. “Even so, I miss him so much,” she sniffed, and I pulled her into a tight hug.
“That’s okay,” she calmed down after a while, and I saw Ranaji walking in with his daughter in his arms.
When he saw Nandani’s tear-stricken face, he asked. “Can you hold her for a moment, Suman?”
I nodded and took the princess from his hand.
“Can you all wait outside?” he asked, kneeling before her. I then took the princess out of the room and went to the guest chamber, where I found Kunwar Agastya talking to Daadi-sa.
“So, what do you think of her? Is there any progress in love?” Daadi-sa teased him, and he chuckled, shaking his head.
“I’m quite inexperienced, Daadi-sa, but you seem like a player. Tell me how you got Daado-sa29 to fall in love with you,” he asked playfully, and she cupped his face, laughing.
“Your Daado-sa was an angry king. We were both very young when we got married. Then, as I grew older, he came to take me with him. He wouldn’t speak to me sweetly; he was very work-oriented, giving orders and stating what needed to be done.
Meanwhile, I was clumsy and talkative. When he would return to the chamber, I would excitedly tell him about my day, but he would fall asleep, irritated by my chatter.
This continued until he got used to my talking, and we gradually learned each other’s ways.
We never spoke about love like Rudra and Nandani, who kept their lips glued together.
It was a simple, responsible marriage,” she said.
I looked at Kunwar Agastya, who was listening to her intently.
“I like that, simple, plain marriage,” he responded, looking longingly into nothing and then continued looking back at her. “It’s beautiful to learn about someone from the beginning and get to know them then,” he drawled, and I rolled my eyes.
Whatever he did was neither plain nor straightforward. How could he do that? I never understood which Agastya was the real one.
Suddenly, the princess whined, and they both turned to look at me. I rocked her gently, and Daadi-sa called out to me.
“Suman, come here, sit with me.”
I gulped quietly and glanced at him as he bit his lower lip with a slight smile.
I then walked silently toward her.
“Ji, Daadi-sa,” I said, and she softly tugged my hand to get me to sit beside her.
I nervously sat down on the couch with her, and suddenly, Kunwar Agastya got up.
“Aww, my baby,” he said, settling next to me.
Sitting between them with a baby in my hands, I felt uneasy.
“The man has come with Abhinandan,” Daadi-sa said. “He is in the army. He used to serve as my guard, too. You should meet him after the ceremony.”
I gulped nervously, hearing the fake laughter of Kunwar Agastya as his fingers grazed the baby’s hands.
“Hahaha, aww, my baby,” he cooed. “You’re so small. Do you want to meet your Kaaki-sa? Do you know who she is? Do you want to go to her?”
His words twisted my stomach, and I felt my cheeks burning with the heat of timidity. I gulped, looking at him, but he didn’t look at me.
“He is a good man, Suman,” Daadi-sa brought my attention back to her. “How long are you planning to be alone? You’re young, independent, and what’s even your age? It’s too soon to give up on life. You will meet him. Right? He’ll keep you happy.”
I nipped my lower lip and nodded hesitantly. “Ji, Ji, Daadi-sa,”
“Are you listening, baby? What are these two talking about? Daadi-sa is discussing her wedding? Do you want to attend her wedding? There will be a feast,” he blabbered like a baby, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
I turned to look at him, and he looked back at me. I subtly shook my head without making it evident to Daadi-sa.
“Alright, come to see me in my chamber after the ceremony,” Daadi-sa said, and I nodded weakly at her.
I tried to stand up, but he stopped me immediately.
“I’m still playing with my baby,” he pouted in front of me, while I sat silently.
“Alright, I’ll go see Abhi,” Daadi-sa said as she stood up.
I noticed him gently tickling the baby’s feet. She smiled in her sleep, and I glanced around at the attendants watching us. One was the same person who had caught us the other day. I felt stuck.
“Is Bhabhi-sa ready?” Suddenly, I heard Princess Aishwarya’s voice and immediately stood up from the couch. She smiled as she walked towards me and looked at the baby.
“She’s with Ranaji,” I said, as she took the princess from my hand.
“Oh my baby, how do you feel about this ceremony?” She playfully asked the baby.
I turned my gaze to Prince Agastya, who was staring at me blankly. I couldn’t be sure, but his eyes hinted he was upset.
He rolled his eyes, stood up, and walked away.
I gulped nervously, unsure of what to do. I couldn’t refuse Daadi-sa without a good reason, and bringing up what happened between us wasn’t a good reason either.
I excused myself to attend to the preparations. My presence wasn’t necessary at the family gathering.
As I walked into the area where the feast’s food was being prepared, I asked them how much remained to be done. I motivated and encouraged them to be at their best.
After that, I arrived at the main compound where the ritual was to take place.
I looked at Ranaji and Nandani sitting in front of the hawankund30 across from the priests with their baby. The atmosphere was spiritual and energetic. The chanting echoed around the place, and I sat behind Reva and the other attendants.
Suddenly, Nandani turned to me and gestured for me to come over. I tried to avoid attracting anyone’s attention as I approached her. She took my hand and led me to sit behind her.
I wasn’t aware, but in some ways it felt good, and in others it felt terrible keeping such a big secret from her.
Princess Aishwarya and Prince Ranvijay sat behind Ranaji. And I raked my eyes around to look for Kunwar Agastya, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Then suddenly, my gaze landed on him as he walked toward us with Princess Rashmika. He chuckled in response to something she had said, and his eyes met mine. I quickly scanned the room to locate him in his seat. There was only one.
Nandani was busy with the chanting and aahutis31, so I shifted back and cleared the place for them. They both walked closer and took their places behind Nandani.
I looked at Rani-maa playing with her twin grandsons. She looked happy. Although it was hard for her to be separated from King Rajvardhan, they brought light to their lives. It felt as if they had lost one and gained two. Still, no one could take his place in their hearts.
I watched Princess Rashmika smile at Kunwar Agastya, and my heart ached at the sight of her touching his arm.
I didn’t understand how these two could have nothing in common. They seemed happy together. Honestly, Princess Rashmika looked like such a sweet girl; she was beautiful and bubbly.
I couldn’t hear what they were discussing.
That’s when the priest stopped chanting and said, “Now, you can choose a name for the baby. According to the movements of the stars and the time of birth, it is advisable to keep her name starting with ‘R’.”