Chapter 33 #2
“I think I should go and look after the arrangements in the kitchen,” I attempted to say, sneaking a glance at him. He had his jaw clenched tightly as he calmly took one corner of my dupatta and tied it to his royally embroidered dark maroon shawl.
“Don’t you dare stand up from here until the pooja is over, or you will see my wrath,” he growled low, and I silently lowered my gaze, trying to focus on the priest's chanting.
His hand was on my lap, intertwined with my fingers, and I discreetly looked at him—his eyes were closed.
The way his long lashes grazed his cheeks, bringing out his softer, innocent side, I was awestruck.
His thick, perfectly shaped brows, along with his pointy nose and fuller lips, had me gulping at their beauty.
The soft, shiny curls that had subtly framed his face gave him such charm that they had me smitten.
He held a different kind of power; it was almost charismatic. Even if I had tried, he was someone I couldn’t escape, ever.
I looked down at our interlaced fingers, which were more of a promise from him to be together forever, through everything, than a show of his authority.
The hold wasn’t too tight, but enough for him to feel my touch, the sweat slicking both our palms, seeping through us a warmth that at least kept me calm.
It was comforting yet possessing.
I slowly pulled my hand out of his grip, and he opened his palm wider, letting me.
And when I looked at him, he didn’t look offended.
Instead, he silently watched Princess Rudraja, stretching her tiny arms out toward the fire as if it could hold her like us.
Ranaji immediately pulled her and settled her back on his lap.
Quietly, I took his hand in mine and traced the lines over his palm. It was rough, and the blisters on the knuckles had already healed. I gently rubbed my fingernail over the dead skin and peeled it off.
He peeked at me once but said nothing.
I slowly lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed his palm lightly. Looking up at him, I saw his lips curving into the faintest smile, and he asked, “Is it a yes?”
I nodded calmly. And as soon as I did, he gave a full-blown, stretchy smile and covered his face with his hands.
I chuckled at his antics.
Suddenly, Prince Ranvijay cleared his throat, and I pushed Kunwar-sa away, adjusting my dupatta.
I sat immobile until they had distributed prasaad after the hawan ended. Later, I tried to pull my hand away from his, and he glared at me with thinned brows.
“Humein bhojan ke prabandh hetu jaana hai,” “I need to go to oversee the meal preparations.” I explained, but suddenly, Nandani turned back to us.
“Tum rehne do, Suman. Koi aur sambhaal lenge. Tumhe humaare saath bethkar bhojan karna hai,” “Let it be, Suman. Someone else will look after it. You’re to sit with us for the meal.”
I gritted my teeth at him when he winked at me with a satisfactory smile.
Rolling my eyes, I opened the knot he tied and looked at Nandani.
“Nandani, humein sahaayata ke liye wahaan hona chaahiye,” “Nandani, I should be there to help,” I said, however, she passed Princess Rudraja in my hands and went to seek the elder’s blessings along with Ranaji.
After that, Daadi-sa called Ranaji. “Rudra, do you have a moment?”
He replied with a smile, “Ji, Daadi-sa,” and, with that, both of them walked away from the ceremony hall, leaving my little heart racing with anxiety. I knew what the two of them were going to talk about.
“What happened?” Kunwar Agastya asked, standing behind me.
“Sab aap hi ka to kiya dhara hai,” “It’s all your doing.” I muttered, rolling my eyes internally.
He frowned.
“Abhi to kuch kiya bhi nahi hai aur ye dasha hai, kuch kar denge tumhaare saath to tum to bheegi billi ke bhaanti koodati phirogi,” “I haven’t even done anything yet, and you’re already like this. If I actually did, you’d be skittering around like a drenched kitten.” he said, looking into my eyes.
I, for once, looked at him from head to toe and walked away. Nandani was engaged with the guests, introducing the princess to them.
Quietly, I excused myself to see if lunch was prepared and ready to be served, because I couldn’t help it. It felt like this was my family, and if anything, I had to be more responsible towards it.
At lunchtime, I asked the attendants to bring all the dishes to the dining hall, where guests and their families would gather for a meal.
I was sceptical about even being present there. Everyone knew about him and me. I didn’t know what they thought of me—of us.
I sighed tiredly at my thoughts ambling through the empty hallway. When suddenly,
“Suno,” “Listen.” Kunwar-sa called me from behind.
I instantly turned to look at him, walking toward me, holding Princess in his arms. She had already fallen asleep.
I gulped seeing his towering figure hovering over me, patting her back gently.
“Ji,” I responded.
He kissed Princess and muttered, “She fell asleep. Bhabhi-sa asked if you could lay her on the bed and look after her for some time,” he said, and I nodded.
“Ji,” I replied, taking Princess in my hands. Her lashes fluttered open lazily, and before she could cry, I smiled at her, patting her gently. Once she recognised me, she snuggled into my shoulder and fell asleep again.
I lifted my gaze to Kunwar-sa and asked, “Bhojan nahi kiya aapne?” “You haven’t eaten yet?”
He smiled, shaking his head. “The elders are talking,” he said, folding his hands at the back, taking relaxed steps ahead, and I followed behind. “And I was kind of feeling embarrassed.”
“But why?” I asked.
Looking back at me while raking his fingers through his hair, he replied, “They’re talking about our wedding.”
For a moment, I had to look down to contain my feelings.
“Now you understand what embarrassment means,” I teased timidly.
He chuckled and suddenly held my arm.
I stopped to look at him.
“Um, why don’t we take Princess to my chamber?” he suggested, and I squinted my eyes at him. “You can watch over her and take care of her there, too, right?” he immediately added, like a kid caught doing something mischievous.
“But didn’t Nandani ask to lie her on her bed?” I asked, and he nodded.
“Yes, she did say to put her on a bed, but she didn’t mention whose. So, it can be our bed too, you know. Please,” he muttered. I gulped, pondering it for a moment, but then nodded anyway.
“Alright.” I knew Nandani wouldn’t mind unless it concerned the Princess’s safety.
We both walked to his chamber. As I stepped inside the bedroom, I looked at the new bed.
The workers did a really great job in a short time.
Stepping closer to the bed, I slowly lay her on the bed and settled beside her, and Kunwar-sa covered her with the comforter.
I began gently caressing her head. She looked so beautiful while sleeping.
“She’s such a joy to the family,” I remarked.
“Every girl is a joy to the family, Suman,” he muttered, looking at me with a tender intensity.
He lifted my hand off Princess’s tiny belly and pulled me toward him.
I inhaled deeply before walking on my knees, careful not to disturb Princess.
Wrapping his hands around me, he pulled me closer. Settling against the pile of pillows, he shifted me with him, letting my back rest comfortably against his chest. But I was quite hesitant.
“Koi aa jaayega, Kunwar-sa,” “Someone might come, Kunwar-sa.”
He nuzzled his face in my neck and inhaled deeply. As his lips slowly came into contact with my skin, I sighed deeply, and my dupatta fell off my shoulder. My lashes fluttered shut, lost in the sensation.
And he questioned in a slow voice.
“Humaare vivaah ki charcha ho rahi hai, Suman. Tumhe koi aapatti to nahi na? Tum chaahti to ho na humse vivaah karna?” “They’re discussing our marriage, Suman. You don’t have any objections, do you? You do want to marry me, right?”
I opened my eyes, feeling his feet on mine.
“Hum chaahte hain aapse vivaah karna, kintu humein bhay hai ki kahin humaare madhya punah koi matbhed na ho jaaye,” “I do want to marry you, but I fear we might end up getting into a fight again.” I retorted.
He held my hands and made me look at him, letting me lean sideways into his arm. I could feel my heart pounding.
“Kis baat par hoga matbhed?” “What would we fight about?”
My teeth dug deeper into my lower lip as I mulled over the possibilities.
“Um… anything. I mean, I know I’ve made mistakes. I have tried to get over what I had been through and understand what you had been through, yet somehow, what if my insecurity or your insecurity surfaces back?”
His lips stretched in a weak smile.
“Koi baat nahi. Vivaah ke pashchaat to waise bhi anban hoti hi rehti hai. Kabhi tum mana lena, kabhi hum mana lenge.” “It’s alright. Couples do end up having disagreements after marriage anyway. Sometimes you can make up, sometimes I will.”
“Aur aap punah humein ek varsh ke liye chhodkar chale gaye to?” “And what if you leave me again for a year?” I immediately asked.
He frowned. “Hum tumhe chhodkar thodi gaye the, hum to apne kaarya se gaye the,” “I did not leave you; I went for work,” he said, and I shook my head, not believing him.
“You cannot fool me. I know you were hurt,” I whispered.
“Yes, I was hurt,” he replied, pressing his cheek against my cheek.
“But I knew you did not mean what you said. It was your insecurity and experience speaking. Suman, you’re not someone who would hurt anyone.
Also, you realised your rights over me; that's why you did so. And honestly, I’ve long forgotten that.
The things that mean nothing must never be entertained,” he explained calmly, and I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of his embrace.
“But, Kunwar-sa, I’m still scared about one thing,” I said, inhaling deeply, and he hummed in response.
I bit my lower lip, wondering if I should talk about it.