Chapter 35 - Suman #6
“By the way, Suman,” Princess Aishwarya chimed in, and I raised my eyes. “What was your first encounter with Kunwar-sa like? I mean, you know, after that incident, what exactly brought you two closer?”
I looked at her in the mirror and remembered how, after that incident, I had gone to his chamber and found him working on the grey powder in the courtyard. He was completely engrossed, and the way the flames framed his sharp features made him look breathtaking, yet dangerous.
A smile curved my lips, recalling how he always kept his dagger by his side. The attendants’ fingers touched my head, pulling me back to the moment.
The smoke from the incense brazier, used to dry my hair, enveloped me, and my shoulders eased from its calming, herbal scent.
“Um…” my teeth dug into my lower lip. “After that incident, when we returned home, I wasn’t the same anymore. Fire or being near it frightened me, even when cooking, and he knew it,” I muttered in a low voice.
“Oh… Oh my God!” Nandani gasped. “That’s why he was teasing you not to cook.”
“Yes, I remember that too,” Princess Aishwarya added, her mouth agape.
I chuckled slightly, shaking my head.
“Yes, he was being rude back then, and now I understand why. I mean, we didn’t know what would happen.
We feared that someone would discover the truth.
He was engaged to Princess Rashmika. And I was terrified of everything; I couldn’t even tell anyone that my life literally changed over an incident,” I sighed, and looked at Nandani.
“It was when you were eight months pregnant, Nandani. I was having trouble sleeping that night, so I went to the kitchen to get some water. There, I found out he had returned to the palace and was asking for his dinner. So I took the dinner to him.” I explained.
“What???” Princess Aishwarya blurted out.
“Yes, I didn’t know what I was doing. It all felt good,” I said.
“Then?” Nandani blinked like a curious kid, settling on the table before me. Princess Aishwarya, too, grabbed a chair and sat beside me. While the attendants were busy doing my hair, I narrated the past incidents to them.
“Then, I took the dinner to him. He was in the courtyard with a grey powder, sitting before a heap of firewood,” I said.
“What was he doing with it?” Princess Aishwarya asked, and I shook my head.
“I don’t know. I just told him I brought him dinner, and then he ate in silence. However, what surprised me was that even though he had said that I could leave, I chose to stay and just watched him eat,” I admitted.
“And you fell in love?” Nandani asked, knitting her brows.
I shook my head.
“I don’t know…” I said, blinking away. “I honestly do not know when I fell in love with him. I mean, there’s not an exact moment,”
Princess Aishwarya placed her hand on mine. “I think you two are destined to be together. That’s why you both met,” she said, and the ladies nodded together.
We kept talking and laughing while Nandani helped the attendants braid a golden ribbon, lined in maroon strips, through my hair. It felt even heavier, but it looked beautiful.
“Kunwar Agastya will faint seeing you today,” Princess Aishwarya teased, earning a giggle from me.
After that, I changed into the outfit, but in private, because I didn’t want anyone looking at the bruises on my breasts anymore.
As soon as the fabric came in contact with my skin, my nipples hurt. Every painful itch reminded me that I’d be marrying Kunwar Agastya Dev Singh. My cheeks hurt from so much smiling.
After I got dressed, I stepped out and saw Queen Trisha and Rani-maa seated with the other ladies.
When Rani-maa noticed me, she rose from her seat with a smile.
“I didn’t know Suman could look like the most beautiful woman in the world,”
I giggled nervously as she cradled my cheeks and kissed my forehead.
“God bless you, Suman. Today marks an important day in your life. You will seek the blessings of all the deities and elders for the beginning of your married life.”
She held my hands warmly in hers and said, “I know you have your own experiences. You may even have many thoughts weighing on your mind. But, my child, you’re just twenty-five—and beautiful and powerful, and godly.
Always remember that what others define you as is not necessarily who you are.
The person you see when you look at yourself in the mirror—what you perceive in your own reflection—that is your true self. ”
She then held my shoulders gently. “This journey… it will not be just fruitful and happy, but also filled with countless challenges and opportunities. Make sure you use them to support others. The place where you come from, you know better what women go through, and the place that you’re going to now, you will have the power to change that. ”
Her words were so gentle, yet so profound, I couldn’t help but agree with everything she said.
“This union is not just a marriage, Suman,” she continued. “It is your gateway to getting on the path of standing up for women and standing strong. Do you understand me, my child?”
I nodded. “Ji Rani-maa.”
“Stand by your man like a shield and protect him from the emotions that could destroy him. Stand by your family like a virtue and protect them from evil. Stand by your elders like a safeguard and protect them from poor health,” she said gently but firmly, then looked at Nandani and Princess Aishwarya.
She gathered our hands together in hers.
“Remember, you three are the pillars of Suryagarh. These three brothers have done their duty, giving you the world as best as they could. It will now be your responsibility to secure the future of Suryagarh. The children you bring into this world are the future. Their blood may carry salt, but make sure your sweetness moulds them into human beings, and do not let the briny salt overpower the sweetness. Be with each other like arrows in a quiver. Never talk ill of one another, not even to your husbands.”
“Remember, Nandani,” she said, looking sternly into Nandani’s eyes. “You are the eldest and the queen. What you give to Aishwarya and Suman, they will return to you twice over.”
Turning to Princess Aishwarya, she continued, “You are the second daughter-in-law in the family, Aishwarya. Your opinions may differ at times, but be open about them. Communication will sort everything.”
Finally, she looked me in the eye and said, “And Suman, never let your fears overpower your love and compassion, my child. Fulfil each and every responsibility.”
Holding our hands together in a tight hold, she remarked, “Make Suryagarh, its twenty-three states, seventy-two villages, and the greatest empire history will ever know.”
We three nodded in unison. Rani-maa then kissed each of our foreheads, starting with me.
“God bless you. I don’t have one but four daughters,” she said, turning to Queen Trisha and kissing her forehead as well.
My heart swelled at Rani-maa’s words. She had always been like a mother to me.
“Suman,”
Suddenly, Kunwar-sa’s call caught our attention, and I quickly adjusted my dupatta over my head.
Everyone looked at him.
He wore the same colour as me—a pink kurta set and a maroon shawl settled over his shoulder.
His face was blank as he approached us and joined palms to greet everyone.
“Pranaam, Rani-maa,” he said, and Rani-maa greeted him back.
I frowned when he asked in a low tone, “Could you please give us a moment alone?”
I gulped and looked at everyone—their eyes wide in disbelief.
Nandani stepped forward.
“But she needs to get ready for the prayers at the right time,”
His eyes lingered on me for a moment, then swept to the table filled with all the jewellery.
“Don’t worry, Bhabhisa, I’ll help her get ready,” he said. “Now, can you please give us a few moments?”
His words carried seriousness beneath the surface.
I looked at Nandani and nodded. She stared at me, but before she could say anything, Rani-maa said, “Alright, Kunwar Agastya. We’ll be waiting for her outside.”
They all exited the chamber quietly before closing the door.
My heart raced as we stood alone. To calm myself, I turned to face the mirror and picked the earrings to wear. But as I lowered my head, my dupatta slipped off my head, and I felt his hand on my shoulder.
“Suman,” he muttered. “I need to talk about something,”
I nodded. “Ji,” I looked at him in the mirror while wearing the earrings.
He seemed restless. His fingers shivered as he took the earring from my hand when I couldn’t put it on.
He cleared his throat. “Suman,” he called again, taking another earring from my hand. “Your parents are here, and they want to take part in our wedding.”
The moment I heard those words, my fingers froze, leaving me shuddering in place.
Flashes of my previous wedding, my vidaai52,
and the horrific scenes from my late husband’s funeral burned my insides, and I stumbled back on my feet.
“Suman,” he quickly steadied me, holding my waist.
I shook my head rapidly. In that moment, nothing was visible to my eyes other than them.
My teeth ground together. My eyes filled with tears. It was like I could see them.
He cupped my cheeks.
“Hey, I’m here with you,” he muttered, and suddenly, I felt as if my breath was stuck in my throat.
The flashbacks of my first wedding night with that nasty animal ran through my head. The way he tore my wedding dress, the pain, every memory left me shaken to the core.
I closed my eyes, clenching his kurta.
“I... do... I don’t... want them here,” I stammered, barely able to open my mouth. “I cannot see them... no … please no… Kunwar-sa,” I tried forming words through sobs.
“Wh—when… I went back... to them, they didn’t... accept me. They didn’t want me... They’re mean... they left me alone... they’re not my parents, they’re not my parents,” I hiccuped, breaking into tears.
“Hey, hey, my love,” he said, embracing me tight. “Shhh… I’m with you; you’re safe with me. I love you so much. You are my Suman now. You are not their daughter. Calm down, love, calm down,” he murmured against my hair, and I sobbed even louder.
“That’s it. You don’t have to say anything,” he said, rubbing my back. “They will not come to your wedding. I will ask them to leave. Okay?”
I closed my eyes, inhaling his calming scent as he continued to rub my back, then pressed a kiss to my head.
“Oh my love, calm down, my lucky charm,” he whispered, and I wrapped my arms around him.
I sobbed silently when, out of nowhere, he leaned in and said something in my ear that made me laugh through tears.
“Rote hue bilkul gaay jaisi lagti ho,” “You look like a cow when you cry.”
I immediately smacked his shoulder and hugged him even tighter.
“Waise, Suman, tumhein bhaybheet ki aawashyakta nahi hai. Hum hai na. Yadi wo bhent karne ki iccha rakhte hain to ek baar mil lo. Taatparya ye hai ki, kya pata tab we paristhiti ke kaaran vivash ho?” “Suman, there’s no need for you to be scared.
I’m here with you. If they wish to see you, you can meet them once.
I mean, who knows, perhaps they were helpless because of the circumstances back then? ”
I shook my head, pulling away.
“Unke vyavahaar ko vivashta ka naam mat dijiye Kunwar-sa. Unhone kabhi humein apni putri maana hi nahi. Yun to humaara vivaah—adhikaar se—humse aayu mein bade vyakti se karva diya, kintu jab usne humein chhod diya, to humein punah sweekaar karne se nakaar diya. Jab gaanvwale humaare jeevit deh ko us mrutak ke deh se baandhkar, humaara antim sanskaar karne wale the, tab bhi unhone nahi roka, maano unka humse kabhi koi sambandh hi nahi raha ho. Kintu aaj jab unhe gyaat hua hai ki humaara vivaah ek rajkumar se ho raha hai, to uska laabh uthaane chale aayein. Aap nahi samjhenge, Kunwar-sa.” “Do not tag their behaviour as helplessness, Kunwar-sa. They never truly accepted me as their daughter. They married me off—by right—to a man much older than me, yet when he abandoned me, they refused to accept me back. Even when the villagers bound my living body to that dead man’s, performing my last rites along with his, they did not stop them, as if they had never shared any bond with me at all.
And now, when they have learned that I am to marry a prince, they have come to take advantage of it.
You would not understand, Kunwar-sa.” I said, and he nodded, smiling weakly.
“Okay, as you say, dear wife,”
I turned away to wear the rest of the jewellery and added, “We’re getting late, Kunwar-sa; let me get ready. And please let them know their Suman is not here, or even better, not alive anymore. They are not the parents of Sumanika, who’s getting married to Agastya Dev Singh.”
His smile grew a little wider. He wrapped his arm around me from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder as I slipped the bangles into my hand.
“Kitni sundar lag rahi hai! Kitna accha bolti ho! Kitni pyaari ho tum! Pehle to nahi lagi kabhi,” “How beautiful you look! How well you speak! How lovely you are! You didn’t seem like this before.” he said, leaving a trail of kisses on my neck.
I shoved my elbow into his stomach to push him away.
“Pehle aap humein dekhte kahaan the?” “When did you ever look at me before?”
He inhaled deeply, and I clicked my tongue in frustration.
“Leave me. I need to get ready; you’re disturbing me.”
As he pushed his nose further into my neck, I tightened my hold on the bangles and looked at him in the mirror.
“If you don’t step back right now, I’ll kill you.”
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