Suman
It ’ s been two weeks since that incident—encounter—whatever.
I had been trying hard to avoid him. I wouldn ’ t go near Nandani if he was around. I wouldn ’ t go to his chamber even if Nandani asked me to; I would send another attendee as he suggested. I wouldn ’ t even look at him if he crossed my path.
No, I wasn ’ t angry. But he was right. Even if nothing happened, I might stand between him and his wife. Maybe. And I could never become the person I deeply hated—a mistress.
What was I even thinking?
As I cleaned Nandani ’ s chamber late in the afternoon, thousands of thoughts raced through my mind when she suddenly let out a scream. “ Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh,”
I ran toward the resting area, my heart racing as I gazed upon her leaning against the wall. Water trickled from her core, running down her legs.
“ Nandani,” I yelled, and “ Reva, call the physician,” I added, motioning for Reva to hurry.
“ Aaahhhh, I think… the baby is coming… aha.”
Ranaji rushed toward her. “ Nandani!”
“ Ahhh, Rudra,” she cried out in pain, and he immediately turned to me. “ Have Agastya send a letter to Mahabaleshgarh.”
I stood stunned.
What? How could I?
Lifting her in his arms, he hurried to the inside of the chambers. The physicians came running.
My heart raced as I impulsively ran towards his chamber. I lifted my skirt slightly and dashed forward, my heart pounding inexplicably—perhaps it was time for good news. Yet, dread crept in, thinking of the pain she would endure. The sound of her single cry sent chills down my spine, leaving me uncertain about her delivery.
I navigated through the bustling galleries, chaos enveloping me as I neared his chamber. My sole intention was to convey the news and return to her swiftly. However, upon entering his chamber, an unsettling emptiness overwhelmed me, intensifying my heartbeat. Memories rushed back—remnants of that day when his hand had brushed against mine, and the touch still lingered on my arm. I took a deep breath, attempting to calm my racing thoughts.
“ Kunwarsa,” I called out, entering his chamber after taking due permission from the soldiers standing outside.
With no response from the other side, I felt compelled to venture further inside.
It ’ s been almost two weeks since that incident. Since then, we ’ ve only had a few meetings. He was doing everything he could to ignore me, and I was doing my utmost to make him feel as if I didn ’ t even exist.
As I entered his chamber, the soft jingle of my anklet bells resonated gently. I explored the meeting and resting area, making my way to the fencing and study area, curious if he might be working there. Stepping into his bedroom sent chills down my spine. The memory of his breath in my ear and haunting words lingered in my mind. I hadn ’ t sensed it before, but now it was undeniable.
I knew I shouldn ’ t have come here or anywhere near him.
However, despite my intense struggles, I couldn ’ t deny that he was becoming my everything. I felt tied to him. The thought that something could happen to him because he married me pushed me away even more, while also drawing me closer to him.
“ Kunwarsa,” I called out again, but he didn ’ t respond. Again.
Taking a deep breath, I realized I had no choice but to step into his bedroom.
Biting my lower lip and adjusting the dupatta on my head, I quietly entered. A subtle fragrance of jasmine and lavender filled the air. The encroaching darkness immediately caught my attention. I swallowed nervously at the pin-drop silence and tried to look around for him.
He was sitting on neither his couch nor the bed.
I hesitated to walk any further and tried to call out, “ Kunwar Agastya,“ My voice echoed in the chamber, and a slight fear crept into my nerves. I took a few more steps toward the changing area, blinking anxiously.
Did something happen to him? No!
My fingers were shaking a bit.
Should I leave?
But I had to inform him know, right? Otherwise, Nandani ’ s family would not make it on time.
I inhaled deeply and kept walking toward the changing room. The door was closed. I clenched my fist and tried to knock, but it shifted as I touched it. It was open.
I tried to peek inside.
"Taaka Jhanki Karne Aayi ho?"
“ Did you come to peek in?”
I jumped in fear upon hearing his deep, lazy voice and feeling the cold blade pressed against my throat, along with a presence looming behind me.
I shook my head right away. He drew the dagger even closer. I stepped back, and my back hit his chest. The scent of fresh bathing oils enveloped me. A few drops of water splashed onto my shoulder from his hair.
"Hum kyu taaka jhaaki Karenge aapke kaksh me?"
"Why would I try to peek in your chamber?" I asked in a shaky and scared voice.
"To fir? Apne patni hone Ka adhikar lene aayi ho?"
"Then? You arrived to demand the rights to be my wife?" he asked.
I felt another drop of water fall on my shoulder, which trickled slowly further down my chest, disappearing into my blouse.
I inhaled sharply.
My heart raced as he gently took my dupatta off my head and rubbed-dried his hair. Water droplets splashed wildly on my arms and cheeks, leaving my stomach twisted.
"Daasi hai hum, patni hone ka adhikar kyu mangenge aapse?"
"I ’ m a maid; why would I ask for the rights of a wife?" I stuttered.
He chuckled softly, bringing the dagger closer to my neck. I couldn ’ t help but grip his wrist tightly.
“ I feel scared, Kunwarsa,” I stated. My knees grew weaker.
“ If you ’ re feeling scared, why are your cheeks flushed?” he asked. New sensations bubbled to the surface of my skin at the sound of his deep voice.
I struggled more desperately to escape his grasp, but with the blade so close to my neck, I remained sensually paralyzed between him and the door. I couldn ’ t understand why he took pleasure in toying with me.
“ I ’ m not blushing,” I shot back, feeling his face move closer to the side of my neck as his dangerously sensual voice dripped from his lips. “ You are.” His words stirred a warmth deep within me. “ Your cheeks have a rosy tint, and your lips… resemble a freshly sliced… berry.”
I was unsure why I felt hot around him. Gulping nervously and blinking, helplessly, I replied. “ I ’ m not, Kunwar Agastya.”
“ Really?” he asked, bringing his hand around my waist.
Why was he doing this to me?
The back of my head rested against his chest, my brows furrowing, lips parting, and eyelashes growing heavier as his rough, large, tanned fingers brushed the bare side of my waist.
Feeling the tickling touch of his finger, the hair on my body stood on end in anticipation. His fingers slowly traveled along the curve of my waist, reaching my navel.
I exhaled deeply.
The words caught in my throat, and my eyes closed tightly from the manly touch that had never felt this comforting and tender before. I sensed his lips drawing near to my ear, pulling me back to reality in an instant. “ Hence, proved, half wife,” he drawled.
I quickly pushed his wrist away from my waist. He chuckled softly, and I couldn ’ t help but exclaim in a single breath. “ Please leave me; Nandani is in labor. Ranaji asked you to write a letter to Mahableshgarh. That ’ s the only reason I came here.”
“ What?” He tilted his head to the side and asked me with a broad smile, “ What did you say?” He inquired cheerfully and moved the dagger away from my neck. I quickly touched my neck with shaking fingers and took a few hurried steps back from him.
Tears welled in my eyes. He stood half-naked, and I shook my head, mentally screaming at myself to indulge his foolish adventures.
“ Ranaji asked me to tell you to write a letter to Mahableshgarh,” I repeated, stepping away from him before running off.
It couldn ’ t happen. No.
I couldn ’ t feel that way about him.
I shouldn ’ t have gone there.
I hurried back to Nandani ’ s chamber and found her lying on the bed, the curtains drawn, her loud, agonizing screams echoing through the chamber.
"Aaaaahhhhhhh," she screamed in pain, and I glanced at the physicians beside her.
“ When will she be able to deliver?” Ranaji asked, worry evident in his eyes. I turned to the physicians for their response. “ The baby ’ s feet are on the left, while the head is on the right. We need to wait until his head moves down.”
Ranaji inhaled deeply and gently stroked Nandani ’ s head. “ Until then, will she endure the pain?” he asked, and the physicians nodded. “ Yes, we will have to wait until the child turns around.”
“ Aahhhhhhhhhhh,” she screamed even louder, and I walked toward her with trembling steps. I held her hand. She looked at me.
"nnnnnn," she burst into painful cries, and I attempted to caress her hand with my shaky fingers.
“ It ’ s alright, it ’ s alright, just calm down,” I attempted to say. She breathed in deeply, her chest rising and falling.
“ We should have her change her clothes first,” the physician said, and I quickly responded. “ I ’ ll find something loose for her to wear.”
I got out of bed and rushed to her dressing room. As I searched through her trunks, I found the gown she needed and brought it back to the bedroom.
“ Jiji,” Princess Aishwarya called out, dashing into the bedroom. She adjusted the dupatta on her head, noticing Ranaji, and settled onto the bed beside me.
Ranaji left Nandani ’ s hand, saying, “ I will be back.”
She nodded at him. Princess Aishwarya and I helped her sit up. She groaned in pain as we removed her jewelry and other belongings. Princess Aishwarya untied the strings of Nandani ’ s blouse while I pulled the strings of her skirt.
I assisted her in putting on the gown before she lay back on the bed.
Her screams persisted until midnight. We tried to feed her, but she was too weak to eat. However, Ranaji insisted she consume something while the physicians worked to reposition the baby in her womb.
"Get warm water," the physician instructed. I immediately stepped off the bed and hurried to the kitchen. It was late at night, and no one was around.
"Suno,"
“ Listen,” Kunwarsa ’ s voice caught my attention. I turned to look at him.
“ Ji," I asked.
The fire had gone out in the stove, so I rushed to gather some wood. Kneeling in front of the small stove, I added the wood and looked around for the fire torch.
“ How is Bhabhisa now?” he asked, squatting beside me. He was upset.
“ She ’ s in pain,” I said shakily, rushing toward the torch to bring it to the stove. Kneeling again, I tried to light the fire, but my nervous, sweaty hands made it hard to focus. Memories of that day flooded my mind.
I attempted to ignore them, but the screams and heat of that day surged through my nerves, and tears flowed down my cheeks.
“ Give me that.” He took the fire torch from my hand. I stepped back.
I gazed at my shaking fingers, drawing my knees tightly to my chest. Confusion overwhelmed me as my heart raced and my breaths turned shallow. In an instant, I felt a desperate struggle to breathe. I closed my eyes, attempting to soothe my chest with gentle rubs.
I heard the distant sound of him placing the water-filled vessel on the stove. Suddenly, he wrapped his arm around me, and I couldn ’ t help but burst into tears.
“ It ’ s alright, take a deep breath, she ’ ll be fine,” he caressed my arm.
I tightened my fist around his wrist, turned slightly, and pressed my face against his chest. Then I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his hand resting on my head.
“ Calm down; you need to give her strength. It ’ s okay; everything is fine,” he said, and I tried not to look at the fire.
He shifted in front of me, obstructing the view of the fire, and I attempted to calm my racing heartbeat.
“ Focus on your breathing,” he said, rubbing his hand on my back. “ Calm down.”
I didn ’ t know what was happening to me, but his words kept me grounded. He kept caressing my head until my heartbeat and breathing returned to a normal rhythm. The water had warmed up, and I tried to stand on my feet.
“ I have to go,” my voice wavered.
He looked at me and suggested, “ I ’ ll take it.”
I immediately shook my head and pushed his hand away. “ You can ’ t,” I said, grabbing the edges of the vessels with the cloth and standing up.
I sauntered back to Nandani ’ s chamber. Her screams had only grown louder. I placed the vessel near the physicians.
Blood flowed from her; it scared me. I looked at Princess Aishwarya, who offered her strength with encouraging words and gently caressed her head.
Ranaji entered and sat beside her, taking her hand. “ Come on, Nandani,” he said, prompting her to cry out loudly. Her anguished screams made my knees weak. But I couldn ’ t just leave like that. The memories of lying on that pyre clouded my vision.
I blinked, attempting to clear my thoughts, but it felt impossible.
“ Come on, Nandani, push!” Ranaji urged, as she threw her legs and stretched her body in pain. “ I can ’ t, Rudra! I can ’ t! Aaaahhhh!” Her screams grew louder, and I did my best to assist the physicians with whatever they needed, trying not to focus on those painful thoughts.