Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
It was as if the weight of the world had been taken off Faith’s shoulders.
She was talking to Scott and she was fine.
She was really fine. And she realized that she’d missed having him as her friend.
That was what they were best at and what they would always be.
She explained that Casey and Isabella were both okay, but the bad news was that she’d heard he was moving away, and she wouldn’t get to have all her favorite people together at once anymore.
She told him how seeing Nan this week had put it all into perspective, and she felt awful for not spending more time with her family.
Now, he was moving away just as she was hoping to have him back. She waited to hear what he had to say.
“I don’t want to go,” he said. “It’s just easier if I do.”
“I know what you mean. Casey’s a difficult person to love, but it doesn’t make me love her any less. I’m sure you feel the same way.”
He didn’t respond. She waited an excruciatingly long time, but nothing came.
“How will you see Isabella?” she asked.
The hum of the phone was the only sound for a little while and then, finally, he answered, “I want to have her with me. Joint custody at least.”
“Traveling like that could be hard on a little girl,” she pointed out. She was worried just thinking about it.
“I need a fresh start.”
He wasn’t saying much. Faith had told Casey that she wouldn’t tell him what Casey thought. It was up to Casey to tell him. Was there a way she could do it without breaking that promise? “Do you love Casey?” she asked, point blank.
“Of course,” he said without hesitation.
“Then why are you leaving her? I won’t tell her.
” She knew that Scott was aware of how well she could keep secrets.
Secrets were like tiny packages entrusted to people.
They were wrapped up tightly and only the recipient was able to untie them.
She’d been told many secrets over the years, and she’d kept every one of them.
Scott knew that about her, so he’d trust her. She was sure of it.
“She doesn’t love me anymore. She loves her job. She loves Isabella. But she doesn’t love me.”
It was killing her. All those wonderful things Casey had told her about how she loved to curl up with Scott after he’d fallen asleep, how she missed him so much…
She knew she couldn’t tell him. She had to find another way.
“Did you know that Casey has never spent longer than a few minutes being sad in front of me? I thought she never got sad. I thought, maybe, she didn’t even care,” she said carefully.
“What I didn’t know was that she doesn’t always show her emotions.
She’s not good at that. She feels so much more than she lets anyone see.
Have you ever thought of talking to her about it? ”
“I let her actions speak for her love,” he said.
“But what I’m saying is, perhaps that’s not what you should do. Not with someone like Casey. I think you need to talk to her.”
“Why should I talk to her? She doesn’t seem the least bit affected by my leaving?”
Ugh. That’s nearly what Casey had said about him. “I promise you. You need to talk to her.”
“Thank you for trying, Faith. I have to go. Sorry. I have to be somewhere, and I’m a little late. It was good to talk to you. I’m so happy you called. Can we talk again soon?”
“Sure.” She said her goodbyes and hung up.
The call had been bittersweet. It had gone by so quickly that it was difficult to register the magnitude of what had actually happened.
She’d just talked to Scott, and it had been perfectly fine between the two of them.
He’d been understanding and sweet, as she knew he would be.
The best part of it all, though, was that, without her feelings clouding her mind, she really enjoyed talking to him, and it felt just the same as it had when they were younger. Being around him would be easy.
But even though she’d made progress with her relationship with Scott, she hadn’t changed a thing with him and Casey, which was what she’d set out to do.
Both of them thought the same things; they needed to talk to each other.
It was their battle to fight; she just hoped they’d fight it instead of letting their pride get in the way.
She sat for a moment in Casey’s room, holding the phone. Then got up, set the phone on the dresser, and went out to be with her family.
“That was nice of Jake to bring Isabella’s necklace by,” Nan said as she joined them all that the table. Jake had already gone.
“Yes.” She was eyeing her sister across the table, wanting to tell her everything but remembering that she’d promised Scott she wouldn’t. So, instead, she continued the conversation about Jake. “He said the clasp must be loose.”
“I’ll have to get a jeweler to look at it,” Casey said. She was leaned forward, her gaze on Faith.
“I want to go to the beach,” Isabella said, climbing down off her chair. She’d left a half-eaten waffle and a cup of milk. “Mommy, can we go to the beach?”
“Why don’t you take her, Martha? Enjoy yourself. I’m sure the girls will clean up breakfast for you,” Nan said.
Her mom looked back and forth between her two girls, and it was clear that she could tell something was going on. “I’d be happy to. But I want to be filled in on anything good when I get back,” she said with a grin.
“Yay!” Isabella jumped around in a circle before running off for her flip-flops.
Once she was out of earshot, her mom whispered in Faith’s direction, “I heard you talked to Scott. I want to know all about it after Isabella’s in bed tonight.” Faith nodded. “Okay, Isabella, let’s go down and get your sand toys.”
“What did he say?” Casey said with urgency as her mom and Isabella left the house.
“Just like I told you I wouldn’t tell him what you’d said, I promised him the same.
You need to call him, Casey. You need to tell him.
” Nan, who hadn’t heard the whole story yet, sat silently.
She’d never ask for details; she knew how Casey was.
She’d wait for one of them to tell her, but Faith wondered if she already knew.
She was a sharp woman; she didn’t miss a thing.
Faith turned to Nan. “Has Casey heard your “taking chances” story yet? If not, she needs it.”
Nan laughed. “Yes, dear. She’s heard it too.”
“It’s not as easy as just telling him,” Casey said, her hopes clearly dashed.
Faith knew Casey was hoping for a grand response, something that would be life-changing, but the truth was, life didn’t work like that.
It didn’t end in a grand finale or some firework-filled moment.
It was, like Nan had said, a million tiny moments that when added up made a pretty great life.
Faith was only learning that slowly; it was starting to sink in.
“Casey,” she said, walking around the table and standing in front of her sister. “Be honest with yourself. What do you want?”
“What do you mean? You know what I want.”
“Well, clearly, you don’t or you’d go and get it. You always have before.” Faith walked back in to Casey’s room, and got her cell phone. When she returned, she set it down in front of her sister.
“Stop being so worried about what he will think. Stop guessing at his actions because you’re too proud to ask him what he feels.
If you love him, Casey, tell him. Tell him what you’re feeling or he’ll never know!
Start with just a sentence. It doesn’t have to be long. But tell him something. Take a chance!”
Casey sat, her hands in her lap, her eyes on her phone.
“We’re here for you, Casey,” Nan said. “Just try. It can’t hurt a thing.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can!” Faith pressed. “He’s your husband. You love him, right? You can tell him anything.”
“It’s different now.”
“Why? He’s the same person he always was.”
Faith could see Casey’s face change as the anxiety of the task began to take hold.
She was thinking about it. Without warning, she grabbed the phone, opened up the screen and began typing.
When she was finished, she held it in her hands for a few long seconds.
Then, she turned the phone around. It said simply, “I love you.” With a smile twitching at her lips, Casey hit send and set it down on the table, her hands shaking just slightly.
Faith clasped her hands together in front of her mouth and tried to hide her smile. Casey had done it. She’d never felt more proud of her sister than she did in that moment, because Casey had let her guard down. Faith threw her arms around her and squeezed her tight.
The three of them waited, their eyes on the phone.
Every time the screen went dark, Casey tapped it to keep it open.
Then hope fizzled up her spine when Faith saw those three little dots on the screen.
Scott had opened the message! He was checking it!
The anticipation was nearly overwhelming for her; she couldn’t imagine what Casey must be feeling.
Maybe it would all be okay. Casey and Scott were so good together, and now, they could get back together where they belong.
Isabella could have her daddy back. Faith hoped that would be the case.
The dots went away and they waited for a message.
Faith’s knee was bouncing up and down. The time it was taking was making her crazy with anticipation.
They sat in silence—all of them—watching that phone, but after the seconds turned to minutes and then the minutes began ticking by, Faith could feel a worry settling in her chest. The screen turned black, and Casey didn’t reopen it this time.
Scott hadn’t texted back. There was nothing.
“Maybe he’s not somewhere where he can text you,” Faith said cautiously. “Maybe his phone died.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t want to know that I love him because he wants a divorce.”