Chapter 18
Summer Before Tenth Grade
Dear Diary,
Today was such a crazy day. I went to the beach with Capri and her family. Walker was really flirty—like touchy-flirty. At one point, we were all playing keep-away in the water with a football, and Walker was in the middle. He was ALL OVER me, trying to get the ball. And when it was my turn to be in the middle, I did the same thing, trying to get the ball from him. It was incredible until it was terrible. Capri was so bugged at us. I’ll never forget the look of hurt in her eyes. She went quiet for the next hour. I finally got her to admit that she felt like the third wheel with me and Walker. I hate myself for making her feel that way. I know Walker is a sensitive subject for her, and I completely disregarded her feelings. I apologized over and over. Luckily, things are fine now. It was just a brief lapse in judgment. Never to be repeated again.
And it’s not like I think Walker likes me or anything like that. To him, I’m just Capri’s friend, and I’m sure that will never change. Plus, he kissed Cat Keene last weekend. Technically, I think someone dared Cat to kiss him, and I heard it was just a peck, but still.
Walker is not kissing me on the weekends.
Jane
I siton a stool at Tala’s kitchen counter with Capri behind me, curling my hair. I’m talking fast, like really fast, as I tell a story. I’m scared if there’s a pause in the conversation, Capri will say something about the questionable position she caught me and Walker in.
The look of defeat on her face when she saw us together broke me.
I’ve seen that same look in her eyes one other time in my life, and I swore to myself I’d never repeat it. And then, Wham! I repeat it. What is wrong with me?
But we’re not going to dwell on past mistakes. I’m pushing forward, telling my story with no breaks.
“I told you on the phone yesterday that I was going to start looking outside of Sunset Harbor for men to date—use a dating app. I meant it. I signed up for Swipe Right and put in a five-mile radius, and guess who the first guy was that popped up?” I don’t even give Capri time to answer. I just blurt it out. “Dustin Pearce. He’s on my Sunset Harbor list because he’s always on the island, even though he lives on the mainland. But when I saw his name on the dating app, I just thought maybe it was a sign. Like we were meant to fall in love.”
“I can totally see that.” Capri grabs another strand of hair, twisting it around the barrel of the curling iron.
The back door opens and shuts in the other room, and my heart goes wild, thrashing ridiculously inside my chest. My visceral reaction to Walker is made worse now that I know exactly how it feels to have his arms—fine, it was just one arm—wrapped tightly around me.
“What about the tropes you crossed off?” Capri asks. “The ones you said were beneath you or crossed the lines of what you’re willing to do?”
Right now, I wish Capri would lean more toward her quieter side—just silently curl my hair so I don’t have to talk about any of this in front of Walker. Maybe I’ll get lucky, and he won’t come into the kitchen.
“Jane?” Capri dips her head toward me, checking to see if I’m still alive.
“Uh, sorry.” Thinking about Walker is a hazard to my conversational skills. “Yeah, I crossed off a lot of tropes already that I don’t want to do anymore.” Or that are ruined because your brother did them to me.
“Which ones don’t you want to do?”
“The whole ‘good girl’ thing felt…” My words trail as Walker casually strolls into the kitchen like he doesn’t have a care in the world. How lovely for him.
“Felt what?” Capri presses, curling the next piece.
I’m just going to ignore Walker like I would any annoying older brother.
“I don’t know. I felt like the ‘good girl’ trope was weird. Like it gave off Fifty Shades of Grey vibes.”
“What’s the ‘good girl’ trope?” Walker picks up an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and takes a bite.
“No.” I slice my arm out. “We are not discussing this with him.”
I’m a pendulum, fluctuating back and forth from being irritated with Walker to falling for him. When I get too far on one side, I swing back to the other. Currently, he’s annoying the heck out of me.
He leans back against the counter, facing us. “Why can’t you discuss it with me? Maybe you need a guy’s perspective.”
“I don’t blame Jane for not wanting you involved.”
His palms lift in innocence as he looks at his sister. “I’m not involved. I’m just curious what the ‘good girl’ trope is.”
Capri sighs, relenting to his question. “The ‘good girl’ romance trope is when there’s an innocent female main character and a morally gray, alpha, possessive male character, and he calls her a good girl when she obeys him. Or he says things like, ‘such a good girl,’ or nicknames her ‘his good girl.’”
Walker’s head rears back. “Dude, that sounds kinky and messed up.”
I give him a pointed look. “You can’t say kinky with kids around.”
“You’re the one who said you read Fifty Shades of Grey.”
“Do I look like the type of girl who reads Fifty Shades of Grey?”
His amused smile appears. “Jane, you don’t have to be a closet smut reader.”
“I’m not. Grandma Deedee read it and told me all about it. I was merely saying that book had ‘good girl’ vibes written all over it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Moving on!” Capri says loud enough for both of us to hear. “What other tropes did you cross off your list?”
I eye Walker before answering. “I decided not to incorporate getting my wisdom teeth out in all of this. It was a stupid idea. I’ll be heavily medicated with swollen cheeks. It’s not worth it, no matter how much I wanted to check off the caring for someone trope when they’re sick. Instead, I’m going to ask Beau to pick me up. Just as friends.” I add that last part to set the record straight in case there’s still any confusion about our relationship.
“I wish I was still going to be in town so I could pick you up.”
“I’ll do it.” Walker displays his most virtuous smile. “In the spirit of being helpful.”
I’d rather die than have him see me like that.
“Don’t worry yourself. I’m sure Beau will do it.”
“Yeah, Beau can do it,” Capri agrees. “He loves that sort of thing.”
“Fine, I won’t pick you up. But I still don’t get how all of this is supposed to work.” He shifts his weight, crossing one foot over the other. “You select a guy to go out with and choose a trope to go along with the date, and that’s supposed to help you fall in love?”
“When you say it like that, I sound desperate.”
He laughs, raising his broad shoulders. “How else am I supposed to say it?”
“This whole thing makes more sense when you’ve read these tropes in books for years. They’re gestures—romantic gestures—that break the ice and get the ball rolling.”
“It’s never going to work.” His head shake is irritating on every level.
“You don’t know that.”
“I think it’s a great plan,” Capri interjects. “And it’s our job to help Jane make it happen. That’s why I’m curling her hair right now.”
I tip my head way back so I can see her eyes. “You’re a good friend.”
“You won’t think that if I burn you.” She pushes me forward again.
“Who’s after Dustin?” Walker asks. “Because we all know you two aren’t compatible.”
“Why aren’t we compatible?”
Cobalt-blue eyes pin me. “Because he’s not good enough for you.”
The mixture of genuineness and jealousy behind his words has my head spinning with forbidden hope. When it comes to Walker, hoping for something is about the worst thing you can do.
Capri’s pointed stare lands on Walker. “Very few guys are good enough for Jane.”
“You got that right.” I force a laugh, glancing away from him.
“You have a blind date later this week, don’t you?” Capri asks.
Yes, let’s stick to the schedule.
“Yeah, on Thursday night. Somebody I met on Swipe Right.” I peek at Walker to see his reaction to me using a dating app. He looks disgusted—clenched jaw, pouting eyes. He must think I’m a joke, but who even cares? There are insurmountable reasons why he’d never be a viable love interest, so I sit up taller, moving my gaze from him. “And I have a date with Phoenix Park lined up for Sunday. We bumped into each other today, and I asked him if he’d like to go boating with me this weekend.” He seemed reluctant, but said yes, so I’m counting it as a win.
Walker straightens. “Sounds like you have it all figured out.”
“I do.”
“She does,” Capri adds.
“Then I guess there’s nothing else to say.” He walks past us, his cologne assaulting me as he exits. “Where’s Tala? Are we about ready to watch this movie?”
That’s just like Walker.
One second, he’s turning my whole world upside down with his charm, and then the next, he’s moved on with his life.