27
‘H OW cool is this?’ Paul leans forward to look through Mum’s telescope.
‘Yeah, very cool for a decorative item, fairy lights and all. Kinda like you.’
‘Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say. But I’m glad you think I’m cool.’
‘And decorative. Don’t forget decorative. You’re not completely terrible to look at.’
‘Stop, you’re making me blush. It looks brand new. Doesn’t it work?’
‘It did, originally.’ We gave it to Mum one Christmas.
It cost Dad a bomb and was so powerful that we could see people picnicking on a beach hundreds of kilometres away.
‘We could literally see people’s food spread out on a rug, if you could lip read, we would have known what they were saying, it was that clear.
And it had this super-cool night sky feature. ’
‘What happened?’ Paul frowns.
‘Tommy happened. He messed up the settings and no one’s been able to figure it out since.’
‘I did not.’ Tommy flops onto the sofa.
‘Let me have a crack; I love this stuff.’ Paul uses his pinky to lift a hideous pair of boy jocks off the telescope. ‘These probably aren’t doing it any favours. They yours, Cat?’ He flings them at me.
I scream and duck and they land on the floor at my feet.
‘Hey, Matty!’ Tommy calls, ‘Cat and Paul are playing with your undies.’
‘I’m not playing with anything,’ I say. ‘Ugh, so disgusting! Matty, pick them up.’
My phone rings and I scoop it up.
‘Sal!’ I run upstairs to my bedroom, phone clutched to my ear. ‘Tell me everything!’
‘Everything? Everything is as boring as ever,’ she says. ‘I miss you so much!’
‘Ugh, same here. I miss you too, you have no idea.’ I quickly yank up my doona and sit on my bed.
‘I don’t believe that for a second! Em tells me you’re seeing someone.
’ Sal’s panting, and I know that she’s either on a run or simply pacing up and down as she chats to me.
‘You’re not just seeing someone – you have a boyfriend!
Oh my God, Cat! And not only do you have a boyfriend, you have the ultimate boyfriend!
A walking surfer god! I nearly died when she told me.
Your texts are so shit! Em had to tell me everything but I want to hear it from you.
All of it. Don’t hold back. Tell me everything.
Everything!’ She squeals and her excitement for me makes me miss her even more.
‘Look, just picture every summer rom com you’ve ever seen, and that’s basically it. There’s even the evil villain.’
‘Miss Scuzzbucket, your arch nemesis, I presume? I hope you’re not letting her get to you. Anyway, forget her. What’s he like? What about his friends? Are they your friends?’
‘That’s pushing it.’ As we’ve crossed paths more and more, we’ve settled into what could never be called a friendship, that’s too much.
At first, they were awkward around me, clearly uncomfortable and contrived, like their mothers had told them they’d better be on their best behaviour.
‘I think they’ve moved from complete obliviousness of my existence, to tolerating my presence through to maybe even saying “Cat? Paulie’s chick?
Yeah, she’s all right, for a Stuck-Up Bitch. ”’
‘Ooh, so once a Neanderthal, always a Neanderthal?’
‘Oh my God, yes.’ I adjust the pillows behind my back.
‘But, and believe me, this hurts to say out loud, I’m seeing another side to them.
’ They’re the group of mates I’ve witnessed from afar for years, vulgar, undoubtedly, but also funny and intensely loyal.
‘There’s Ant,’ I continue. ‘You’d love him, Sal, he reminds me so much of JB.
He’s considerate, friendly and easy to talk to.
Just a nice guy, you know? Then there’s Cavey, older, cagier.
He calls himself Paul’s best friend, but there’s something about him that I can’t quite get. ’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He reminds me of the sheepdog in the old cartoons,’ I say. ‘He’s hard to read, he barks every now and then to keep the sheep under submission and to ward away predators. And I get the feeling that he really, really doesn’t like me.’
‘Who wouldn’t like you?’
‘Right?’
‘Maybe he thinks you’re stealing his best friend,’ says Sal.
‘That’s a bit dramatic for a fling, don’t you think?’
‘According to Em, it’s more than a fling. She thinks you’re going to get married and have his babies. Little beautiful walking surfer gods with firecracker tempers.’
‘Wow, it’s not like Em to exaggerate, is it?
’ I roll my eyes. ‘Trust me, it’s a fling.
How’s it going to work when school goes back and we’re doing five hours of homework a night?
And you really think a beautiful walking surfer god isn’t going to get sick of hanging out with a boring schoolgirl?
’ The muscles in my legs feel tight, the tendons in my knees straining.
I uncross my legs and shuffle to sit on the edge of my bed.
‘Did I mention the beautiful walking surfer god thing? Sal, he has girls throwing themselves at him everywhere he goes. Even the mums on the beach check him out, and then I get these looks like “girl, what the hell is he doing with someone like you?” Anyway, what about next year when we move to the city?’
‘Cat, stop.’
‘What?’
‘Next year is next year. We’ll worry about that then. And enough with the self-deprecation.’
‘Self-deprec-nothing. I’m serious, Sal, you remember this guy? He’s next level. He’s one of those annoying beautiful people that’s as nice on the inside. Ugh.’
‘You’re next level, Cat. It’s so shitty that you don’t see it.’
‘Whatever. Enough about me, tell me about you, what have you been doing? How’s Char?’
‘Char is amazing. Let’s just say you’re not the only one indulging in a spot of sexy time between holiday homework.’
‘Sal, you and Char were sexy timing long before holiday homework.’ I smirk. ‘You almost needed surgical separation at the end of year assembly.’
‘True, and I regret nothing.’
Suddenly, Tommy runs into my bedroom, cheering.
‘Cat, Cat, he did it!’
‘Did what?’
‘Paul got Mum’s telescope working again, come see!’
‘Tommy, say hello to Sal. Sal, hold on, I’ll put you on speaker.’
‘Sal! When are you coming over?’ Tommy takes the phone from my hand and almost sits on me in his excitement to talk to one of his favourite people.
‘What? He’s there now? He’s at your house?’ says Sal, her voice tinny through the speaker. ‘Tommy, get your sister to go bask in the glory that is her boyfriend. Cat, tell him Em and I want to meet him, especially since we’re his babies’ non-biological aunties.’
‘Ha ha, very funny. Say hi to Char for me. Love you! Miss you!’
‘Love you too. And Cat? Enough self-deprecation. Seriously.’
In the living room, Mum is peering through the telescope flanked by the Matty. Paul’s at the base of the stairs.
‘You really did it.’ I put my arms around him from behind, my hands looping under his arms and up to grip his shoulders. From where I’m standing, I’m actually looking down on him for a change. I lean forward to kiss his cheek, his stubble against my lips.
‘Not bad for just a fling, hey?’ He moves out of reach.
‘You heard that?’
‘I heard. You have a decent set of lungs on you, and your door was wide open. Is that really what you think?’
‘I dunno...’
‘You dunno? She who knows everything?’
‘Umm...’
‘Well, let me make this really simple for you, Cat. For me? Asking you to be my girlfriend? It’s not just a summer thing. Or a fling.’ He turns to face me. His jaw clenches, pulse surging in his throat. ‘What is it to you?’
‘It’s not a summer thing,’ I croak, my throat thick and to my eternal horror I feel tears lurking. ‘It’s a scary as you-know-what thing. It’s a confusing as you-know-what thing. I look at you, I look at me and on paper it doesn’t make sense.’
‘I get it. The smart AF doctor slash lawyer and the dumb arse tradie, but Cat, let’s just go for it. Forget what it looks like on paper.’
‘That’s not what I mean. You’re gorgeous, and I’m... well let’s just say I don’t stop traffic.’
‘I’m not even going to give that one airtime. You’re beautiful to the point of dangerous. Full stop. I know that’s not what’s going on here.’
‘Okay.’ My face is hot and I can barely look him in the eye. Out of all the excuses how freakin’ pitiful and pathetic of me to vomit out that tired old cliché straight from the patriarchy rulebook.
‘What doesn’t make sense to you?’ His gaze is unwavering, and I know that he deserves a proper answer, but where do I start?
I’m feeling all the stupid feels. It’s a happiness and a certainty and a lightness that could let me float into the stratosphere, but it’s also not.
It’s his certainty that throws me because I’ve had that.
I’ve had a plan since I don’t know when.
Work hard. Get into uni. Move to the city.
With him staring at me like this, my whole plan feels wobbly, like its cemented in jelly rather than concrete.
He just fits so easily here in my house, with my family, even when he hugs me with that squeeze across my shoulders.
He just fits. He’s so Batter’s Cove, but Batter’s is my past. Where do I fit?
He’s still staring at me, waiting for an answer.
‘It’s just a bit overwhelming, sometimes, you know?’
‘I get it, but I don’t want to stop this thing we’ve started. Do you?’
‘Are you freakin’ kidding? This has been the best summer.’
‘And it’s just the start.’ He drops his head into my chest, his arms around me. I tilt his head back and kiss him.
‘Woooo, lovers,’ my brother yells as he runs past us down to the living room. We jerk apart and I feel the flush spread across my face.
‘That’s enough, Tommy,’ Mum says as we come down into the living room. ‘But seriously, guys, do I need to keep a bucket of water on standby?’