Chapter Twenty-five #2
“I wanted to talk to you about it, but you were sixteen years old. And I was afraid you’d hate me.
So I kept silent. Finally, what I felt for Charlie was more important than everything else.
I loved him so much . . . and when he died, a huge part of me went with him.
I wouldn’t have made it without Nora. She was always there with me .
. .” He closed his eyes. His breathing made a fluttering sound.
Then suddenly he woke up, angled forward. “Where did I leave my eraser?”
Dean touched his brother’s forearm. “It’s on the kitchen table. I’ll bring it to you.”
“Oh.” Eric immediately calmed down and sank back into the pillows. “Do you think they’ll be here soon?”
Dean stroked Eric’s forehead. “Any day now.” When he heard his brother’s breathing even out into sleep, Dean lay back in the grass and closed his own eyes.
The hot sun felt good on his face, and if he tried really hard, he could almost pretend that this was an ordinary summer’s day from long ago.
That he and Eric were exhausted, sleeping on the beach after a day spent swimming in the cove . . .
He woke when a car drove up. “Hey, Lottie,” he called out, waving sleepily. He didn’t bother to get up. It felt so good to lie here with his eyes closed.
“Is that any way to greet your newly famous, still ringless fiancée?”
Dean’s eyes snapped open. Ruby was standing beside him, arms akimbo, blocking out the sun’s rays. He scrambled to his feet and swept her into his arms, giving her the kisses he’d been counting since she left.
She drew back, laughing. “Jeez, I’m going to have to make a point to leave lots in our marriage. Coming home is great.” Taking his hand, she bent down to Eric, who was still sleeping. “Hey, Eric,” she said softly.
Eric blinked up at her. “Hi Sally.”
She frowned at Dean.
“He’s getting pretty bad,” he whispered. “Keeps forgetting where he is.”
Ruby sagged against him. Dean anchored her in place with an arm around her waist. “We watched you and Nora on The Sarah Purcell Show. You were great.”
Ruby grinned. “It was fun. In a reporters-following-you-into-the-bathroom-stall sort of way. Being famous is harsh. I turned down the sitcom offers.”
“Really?”
“I took a book deal. A novel this time. I figured it was something I could do up here.”
“Hey, guys!” Nora shouted, waving. She came beside them, limping on her brand-new walking cast. She touched Dean’s shoulder. “How’s Eric?”
Dean shook his head, mouthed Not good.
Eric’s eyes opened again, focused. “Nora? Is that you?”
She knelt beside him. If she was shocked by how bad he looked, she showed no signs of it. “I’m here, Eric.” She held his hand. “I’m here.”
“I knew you’d be here any minute. Have you seen my eraser? I think Sally hid it.”
“No, honey, I haven’t seen it.” Her voice was throaty. “But do you know what day it is?”
Eric looked at her. “Monday?”
“It’s the Fourth of July.”
“Are we gonna have our party?”
“Of course.”
“With sparklers?” He smiled sleepily.
“You go ahead and sleep for a minute. I’ll get your brother to start the barbecue.”
“Dean’s shitty at barbecuing. He drops everything onto the coals. You always let me cook the fish.”
She stroked his forehead. “I know. Maybe you could supervise.”
“Yeah.” He grinned up at Dean. “Just take the meat off before it bursts into flames.”
Nora leaned forward and kissed Eric’s cheek. By the time she got to her feet, he was asleep again. When she turned around, Dean saw the moisture in her eyes. He reached for her hand, held it. The three of them stood there, holding hands in the middle of the yard for a long, long time. No one spoke.
Finally, Ruby said, “Let’s get this party rolling.”
Dean gave Nora a last, heartfelt look. “Thanks,” he said softly. June hadn’t yet rounded the bend into July, but this party was exactly what Eric needed.
While Nora and Ruby set the groceries and supplies out on the picnic table, Dean went upstairs and turned on the stereo.
Music had always been a big part of their celebrations.
He stuck the old-fashioned black speakers in the open window, pointing them toward the yard.
Then he found the local golden-oldies station (none of them needed to be reminded now of the passing of time), and cranked the volume.
For this one night, he would do his best to turn the clock back a dozen years.
As if in answer, the first song to blare through the speakers was Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing.”
By the time he got back outside, Nora and Ruby had everything ready. The corn on the cob had been shucked and wrapped in tinfoil; the store-bought macaroni salad was in a pottery bowl and ready to be served; and the salmon was seasoned and layered in slices of Walla Walla Sweet onions and lemons.
The music changed. Now it was “Crazy for You” by Madonna . . .
Dean looped an arm around Ruby’s shoulder and drew her close. They moved in time to the music. “God, this brings back memories.”
She pulled him away from the picnic table. “Dance with me.”
He took her in his arms and danced back in time.
If he’d closed his eyes, he would have seen the highschool gymnasium, decorated in glitter and tinfoil and tissue paper.
He would have seen Ruby, wearing an ice-blue polyester dress with braided spaghetti straps, with her long hair flowing down her back.
Only he didn’t close his eyes, didn’t look back. From now on, he only wanted to look ahead.
When the music changed again, to Shaun Cassidy’s “Da Do Ron,” Nora limped out and started dancing with them. On the lounge chair, Eric was doing his best to clap along to the song.
They spent the rest of the day laughing, it seemed.
They talked, they reminisced about the old days and spun dreams about the days to come.
They ate dinner off paper plates balanced on their laps.
Eric even managed a few bites of salmon.
And when the darkness finally came to their party, they lit up the sparklers and shot off the fireworks.
Ruby stood at the bank, with her back to the Sound, and wrote RUBY LOVES DEAN in glittering white bursts of light. Beside her, Nora wrote I LOVE MY GIRLS and SUMMER ISLAND FOREVER. They were both grinning as they waved at Dean and Eric.
Eric turned his head. When their gazes met, Dean felt a clutch of fear. His brother looked hopelessly old and tired. “I love you, baby brother.”
The world spiraled down to the two of them, sitting in this darkened yard. A silence swept in, snuffing out the music and the sound of the women’s laughter. The sudden quiet felt endless, dark, and dangerous.
“I love you, too, Eric.”
“No funeral. I want you guys to have a party, something like this, like the old days. Then throw my ashes off the Wind Lass. Maybe under the bridge at Deception Pass.”
Dean couldn’t imagine that, standing on the boat, watching gray ashes float on the surface of the choppy green sea, thinking about a pair of blue eyes that would never look at him again . . .
Eric’s breathing grew labored. He closed his eyes. “I can’t find the practice roster.”
“I’ll get it for you.”
Eric opened his eyes. He didn’t seem able to focus. “Get Mom, would you? I need to talk to her.”
Dean froze.
“She’s here, isn’t she?”
Dean nodded quickly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Of course she’s here.”
Eric smiled and leaned back into the pillows. “I knew she’d come.”
“I’ll go get her.” It seemed to take Dean an hour to cross the small patch of lawn. As he walked, the sounds came back to him—the music, the laughter, the waves on the beach. “That’s What Friends Are For” was playing on the radio.
“Come on, Dino.” Ruby laughed, reaching for him. “You haven’t written my name yet.”
Dean couldn’t hold out his hand. He felt as if he were unraveling, and the slightest movement could ruin him. “He’s asking for Mom.”
Nora immediately covered her mouth with her hand. A small gasp escaped anyway.
Ruby dropped her sparkler. It shot sparks up from the grass, and she carefully stomped it out with her foot.
In utter silence, the three of them walked toward Eric. Dean could hear everything now, down to the crushing of the grass beneath their shoes.
Ruby was the first to kneel beside Eric. She stared down at him, and Dean could see the tears in her eyes.
Eric smiled up at her. “You’re unclenched . . .”
Dean frowned at the garbled words; amazingly, Ruby seemed to understand. “I am,” she said softly, leaning down to kiss his cheek.
“You take care of my brother.”
“I will.”
Eric sighed and closed his eyes again. Dean moved in close to Ruby, took her hand and squeezed it.
“Oh, God,” she whispered, and he knew she was wondering how she would possibly get past this. How would any of them?
Eric fell asleep for a few minutes, then opened his eyes, blinking hard. “Mom?” He looked around. There was an edge of panic to his voice. “Mom?”
Dean clung to Ruby’s hand. The feel of her was a lifeline, the only thing that kept him steady.
Nora lowered herself to the chair, sitting on the edge beside him. “I’m here, honey. I’m right here.”
Eric stared up at her, his eyes glassy and unfocused. “Dino came home . . . to me. I knew you would, too. I knew you wouldn’t stay away. Where’s Dad?”
Nora stroked his forehead. “Of course I came home. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
Eric let out a long, slow sigh. Then he smiled, and for a split second, his eyes were clear. “Take care of Dino for me. He’s going to need you now.”
Nora swallowed hard. “Your dad and I will watch over him,” she said in a throaty voice.
“Thanks . . . Nora. You were always my mom.” Eric smiled and closed his eyes. A moment later, he whispered Charlie, is that you?
And he was gone.