The Hospital
the hospital
She entered her house and found it quiet. The children had scribbled messages on the chalkboard.
She could tell by the writing that it was Holly who had written: Mom. You left your phone on the counter when you went to Grandmother’s.
Beneath that, Miranda had added: Ya u r so absentminded these days.
Before Blythe could pick up her phone, it pinged.
Her heart almost stopped.
Blythe, I’m flying into Boston today. Arrive at Logan airport six this evening. Could you come meet me? Stay the night in my apartment. We have so much to talk about. Aaden.
His words swam before her. Aaden was back. He wanted to see her. It would mean a scramble to get ready, but she could do it. But should she do it? Spending the night with Aaden felt like a big leap, especially when she was beginning a new and lovely relationship with Nick. She didn’t want to endanger that. But how could she go on with her new life if she didn’t settle the emotional storm she’d been in since Aaden had come to her house for lunch? And when he’d taken her to dinner, she’d felt such joy in his presence. She’d enchanted herself with memories of Aaden for years. She couldn’t let this chance go by.
She needed to settle down. To go slowly. To be an adult. As she often told her children, she needed to finish a task before starting a new one.
Not that Aaden was a task.
She remembered the winter of their senior year in high school, when they’d been at Blythe’s house. Her parents weren’t home, so Aaden built a fire in the living room fireplace and Blythe made real hot chocolate. They cuddled on the sofa, knowing they couldn’t kiss without wanting more, because Blythe’s parents might walk in any moment.
They had laughed together, warm in the firelight, safe in their love.
Aaden was the love of her life. Then.
But what did that mean for the rest of her life?
His arrival on Nantucket this summer had been like a miracle, like Fate placing him right in front of Blythe. She needed to see him again, and this would be a good time, while her children were busy with summer plans.
They would talk tonight. Just talk. She’d fly back tomorrow morning. Celeste or even Kate could take care of the children for one night.
In her Nantucket bedroom, Blythe texted Aaden. I’ll fly up this evening. Lots of planes this summer. I’ll text you when I know what time I arrive.
Immediately after pressing send, Blythe wanted to take it back. Because—what about Nick? What would he think if he knew she was flying to Boston to see another man? Would he be jealous?
Was she still in high school?
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her children pillaging through the house, slamming doors, arguing.
“Don’t get snitty with me because Brooks wants to play tennis with Harrison!”
Ah, Blythe thought. Holly was squabbling with Miranda.
“I’m not being snitty with you,” Miranda retorted. “Believe me, you’ll know when I get snitty.”
“Randy—” Holly began.
“Don’t call me Randy!”
“Miranda, help me dye my hair pink. It will take your mind off Brooks.”
“I can’t. I’m busy.”
“Yeah, you’re busy. You’ll watch your phone and chew on your hair and drive yourself crazy about Brooks.”
Blythe smiled. Brave little Holly, who could take on her older sister.
Miranda forced a laugh. “Holly. Don’t be such a child.”
“But I am a child.”
A bedroom door slammed. Holly ran down the stairs.
“I’m going to hang out with Grandmother for a while.”
“That’s nice,” Blythe said. “Where’s Miranda?”
Miranda came down the stairs. “I’m here.” She sauntered into the kitchen, chewing on a stick of red licorice.
“Miranda, I have to fly up to Boston this evening. I’ll be home tomorrow, but I’m going to ask Grandmother to stay here tonight with you all. You can have dinner at the snack bar and ice cream later. I want everyone in the house by ten. I’ll call to check. You can watch A Quiet Place: Day One with everyone, but you have to watch something happy and fun after— Hannah Montana or something. I’m phoning Celeste now.”
“Mom,” Holly interrupted, “I can deal with the Quiet Place movies.”
“You’re only going to be in Boston for overnight? What’s up with that?” Miranda asked.
Blythe knew that whatever she said would be shared with Celeste, Kate, Bob, and Teri.
“I have to sign some paperwork and they need it today.” Blythe headed up the stairs, away from any further questions. “I’ve got to shower.”
“See you later, Mom!” Holly called as she left the house on her way to Celeste’s.
In her room, Blythe sat on her bed and called her former mother-in-law.
“Hello, Blythe,” Celeste said. Her voice was strong.
“Celeste, I have to fly to Boston this evening to sign some papers. I’ll be back in the morning. Could you spend the night here? They’ll have dinner at the snack bar.”
“Yes, of course. I’d love to stay with them.” Celeste hesitated. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine. This trip is a nuisance, but I need to do it,” Blythe assured the other woman, and what she said was not a lie. She did need to do it. “Holly is coming over now. I’ll call to check in.”
“Safe trip!” Celeste sounded happy, almost excited. Being with her grandchildren always cheered her up.
Blythe took a quick shower, wondering what to wear to meet Aaden. She wanted to look both irresistible and untouchable. No matter what he said or how enticingly he said it, she was not having sex with him.
Or maybe she was. This would be a test.
She changed out of her silk blouse and pants and put on one of her most expensive, alluring summer dresses. Checking her watch, she saw that it was a little after four o’clock. At this time of year, flights were going to Boston almost every twenty minutes. She’d catch whatever she could. She checked her makeup. Her summer tan was flattering. She needed only mascara and lipstick.
She put her toothbrush in her purse.
Down in the kitchen, she scribbled a note on the chalkboard, telling everyone what she’d already told Miranda. Dinner at the snack bar. Celeste would come to spend the night. She’d be home in the morning.
The house was quiet as she walked through it. Why did she feel so guilty? Her children adored their grandmother.
It took ten minutes to drive to the airport. She parked in the long-term lot and walked toward the terminal. Her heart was picking up speed.
She wasn’t frightened, she was—apprehensive. This meeting with Aaden would be about seeing him again, talking about their lives. Deciding whether they could become more to each other than dreamy memories.
Deciding what she wanted. Who she wanted—if she wanted anyone.
At the Cape Air counter, she bought a round-trip ticket. The flight would leave at five-ten. She texted Sandy and then Kate to tell them that she’d be in Boston tonight, back home tomorrow. That was the magic of Nantucket. You could feel you were in a different world, but you were never far away from a city.
She texted Aaden to tell him what plane she was arriving on.
Her heart was fluttering like the hem of her silk dress.
What would she tell Nick?
She didn’t have to tell Nick anything.
Would she tell Aaden about Nick? Why should she? It wasn’t as if she and Nick had a serious relationship.
Her phone pinged.
It was Holly.
Blythe smiled. Her darling daughter. “Hi, sweetie, what’s going on?”
“Mommy!” Holly was almost screaming.
Blythe’s heart lurched. “Holly, calm down. Is something wrong?”
“Mommy, Grandmother’s acting weird! She’s shaking and she’s rolling or something. I’m scared!”
The world shrank to this moment, her child’s voice.
“Where are you, Holly?”
“In her dining room. Mommy, Grandmother fell on the floor. I don’t know what to do!”
Blythe didn’t think twice. “Holly, I’ll be right there. Call 911. Call Aunt Kate. I’m on my way. Two minutes. I’ll be there in two minutes.”
As she spoke, Blythe ran out of the terminal, got in her car, and tore out of the airport, joining the endless row of cars headed into town on Old South Road. It wasn’t going to be two minutes. She’d be lucky if she got there in ten.
She hit the media console to call Holly back. The line was busy. That was good, Blythe thought. Holly was calling people to help. Then her phone rang again. It was Holly, crying.
“Grandmother’s trying to say something but I can’t understand!”
“Stay with Grandmother,” Blythe said, trying to sound calm. “See if you can hold her hand. I’m on my way.”
“Mommy, she scares me.”
“Did you call 911?”
“Yes.”
“They’ll be there soon. Is Grandmother still on the floor?”
“She’s rolled up in a ball. Her face looks awful.”
“It’s okay. The EMTs will help her and she’ll be fine. Listen, Holly, could you be brave and try to let her know you’re there for her? Hold her hand or smooth her hair. Tell her she’ll be all right. Tell her help is coming.”
Holly whispered, “I don’t know.”
“Holly, when people are sick, they look scary. But try. Just pretend she’s a baby who’s having a tantrum. She needs to know she’s not alone. I’m almost there.”
Sirens blared. Blythe swerved to the side of the road. An ambulance passed her. Blythe drove behind it.
“I hear sirens!” Holly yelled a few minutes later.
“That’s the ambulance. I’m here, too.”
Blythe rushed out of her car and to the house. Already EMTs were bending over Celeste, evaluating her and speaking quickly to each other.
Holly ran into Blythe’s arms. “Is she dying? I don’t want her to die!”
Blythe hugged her daughter tight. “The doctors will know what to do.”
Everything passed in a blur. Blythe and Holly watched the EMTs lift Celeste onto a stretcher, strap her in, and carry her out the door and over the lawn to the ambulance waiting at the curb.
Blythe and Holly watched as beautiful, humorous, wise Celeste lay, a tiny helpless creature with an oxygen mask over her face. The ambulance doors shut. With a shriek of the siren, it raced off.
Holly was shaking. Blythe’s brain was on high alert.
“Let’s find Grandmother’s purse. They’ll want her Medicare records.”
“I know where it is!” Holly led her mother to the front hall where Celeste’s book bag hung. Blythe reached inside, found the wallet, and put it in her own purse.
“Great, Holly, thank you, you’ve really helped. You are so brave. Let’s go to the hospital.”
Holly nodded. She settled in the passenger side of the car, and as Blythe fastened her own seatbelt, she realized that this simple act was calming. It was something they could do, something organized and rule-driven during this chaotic time when they couldn’t control anything and didn’t even know what to control.
The hospital parking lot had plenty of free spaces, and the emergency entrance was quiet. Blythe’s hands were shaking as she presented Celeste’s medical cards to the clerk, and when the clerk accepted them, Blythe felt a sense of accomplishment sweep through her, as if she was doing something to help Celeste.
Never before had Blythe realized how much she needed Celeste. For so many reasons she needed her to be okay.
“Someone will be out to talk with you soon,” the clerk said.
Blythe sat on a folding chair next to her daughter. “We have to wait. Tell me, sweetie, what was Grandmother doing before this happened?”
“Nothing.” Holly’s eyes were wide as she spoke, but she was calmer. “We were at the dining room table, and she said she felt funny, she needed to lie down, so I said I’d come back later, and I was gathering my stuff and she grabbed her chest and groaned. She fell on the floor. She was awake, her eyes were open, but she didn’t see me. Then I called you.”
“You were a smart girl to call me, Holly. And you were so brave to stay with Grandmother. It must have been scary for you.”
Holly whispered, “What’s wrong with her? Is she going to die?”
“I don’t know, Holly. We’ll have to wait for the doctors to tell us.” Blythe wrapped her arm around her daughter and pulled her close.
A woman came in with a red-faced wailing baby and was taken into the inner sanctum of the ER.
Holly whispered, “I have to pee.”
“Of course. You know where the bathroom is.”
Holly went off. Blythe took out her phone and called Aaden. When she got his voicemail, she tried to be concise, even though she was shaking. She was worried about Celeste, of course, but she was sad to be missing a trip to see Aaden in Boston. She really liked Aaden even if she didn’t know if she loved him, even though she kind of thought she was falling in love with Nick. She needed to see Aaden to let her heart tell her the truth. How would she feel when she saw his face again? When he kissed her? For so many years, their love had been like gold buried in the deepest part of her heart.
Or had it not been gold but mica, fool’s gold, its shine destined to crumble?
She said, “Aaden, I can’t come to Boston. Celeste, my mother-in-law, well, my ex-mother-in-law, had a stroke or a heart attack, something bad. I’m at the hospital now. We’re waiting to find out how she is. How long she’ll be here.”
Holly was walking down the corridor from the bathroom. Hurriedly, Blythe said, “I’m so sorry, Aaden. I love you.”
As she slipped the phone into her pocket, she was glad she’d told him she loved him. Right now, life seemed so precious, and love seemed to be the only answer to any question.
She put her face in her hands and wept.
“Mommy?” Holly put her hand on Blythe’s shoulder. “Grandmother will be all right, Mommy. Don’t cry.”
Blythe raised her head and sniffed back her tears. How crazy was she to be crying about a man she hadn’t seen in years and might not ever see again?
But her tears were not only for Aaden. They were from fear for Celeste and concern for her youngest daughter and all her children, who would be confused and devastated by their grandmother’s hospitalization. And what would they do, what would they all do, if Celeste died?
Blythe couldn’t control that. Right now, it seemed she couldn’t control much of anything.
Pull yourself together, she told herself.
She dug a tissue from her purse and heartily blew her nose.
“Sorry,” Blythe told her daughter.
“We’re all scared,” Holly informed her. “It’s only natural.”
Blythe almost laughed. Her youngest child was so instinctively on target.
Blythe asked, “Holly, did you call Aunt Kate?”
“I didn’t.” Holly cringed. “Will she be mad at me?”
“No, darling. It’s okay.”
She called Kate. Kate’s voicemail came on.
Blythe left a message. “Celeste is in the hospital. Holly and I are here.”
I need to call Bob, Blythe thought, just as a nurse came out to talk to Blythe. Janet was an island woman who knew Celeste and Blythe and the entire family. She took Blythe and Holly into a small private cubicle.
“Celeste is doing well.” Janet gave them a few moments for the words to sink in, like water extinguishing a flame. “She’s going to stay with us in the hospital tonight so we can keep an eye on her. She’s had a minor heart attack.”
“Why?” Holly asked. “Is it my fault?”
“Of course not,” Janet said. “Your grandmother shows every sign of returning to normal, but we need to take care of her for a few days.”
“When can we see her?” Blythe asked.
Janet hesitated. “Why don’t you step in for a quick hello? She’s all settled, and lucid, and she’s asked to see you, but she’s tired. Just one person at a time, for now.”
“I’ll be right back,” Blythe told Holly.
She hurried after the nurse, down the bright hallway, grateful that the hospital had recently been renovated. Everything was clean, bright, and cheerful.
Janet led her into Celeste’s room.
“We’ve got a visitor for you, Celeste.”
“Celeste!” Blythe forced a smile as she walked toward the older woman.
Celeste was lying in a hospital bed, clad in a hospital gown. She was pale and looked exhausted and very small.
“I’ll leave you two for a moment,” Janet said.
Blythe kissed Celeste on her forehead. “How are you feeling?”
Celeste grasped Blythe’s hand. “Please tell Holly I’m sorry. I’m sure I frightened her.”
“Oh, Celeste, don’t be silly. Holly adores you. Nothing could change that. She’s going to feel like a hero because she called the EMTs.”
“It’s so embarrassing,” Celeste said. Tears welled in her eyes.
Celeste seemed fragile, which was actually terrifying. Everyone felt like Celeste would live forever or at least to one hundred ten. Blythe’s heart surged with a tide of pity and an unexpected shiver of fear.
Blythe smiled. “Don’t be embarrassed. Everyone spends time in the hospital, sooner or later.” She pulled a chair up to the bed and sat close to Celeste, holding her hand.
Celeste signaled for Blythe to come closer so she could whisper. “The thing is, I feel old now. I feel frail! And I hate it!”
Blythe’s own heart thumped hard. She shouldn’t let Celeste get upset.
“Nonsense. You’ve been so active, and so concerned about all of us. Now it’s time for you to let others take care of you.”
“Dr. Margrave said I have to spend the night. Maybe two.”
“I think that’s smart. Plus, I’ve heard the food here is delicious.”
Celeste relaxed back into her pillows. “You’ve always been optimistic.”
“So do you want some food? Red or green grapes?”
“A flask of gin would be good.”
Blythe saw in Celeste’s smile that she was cheering up. “Would you like to see Holly, for just a moment?”
Celeste hesitated. Then, to Blythe’s amazement, Celeste burst into tears.
“I hate looking like this, Blythe. In the hospital ! What must my hair look like? I hate having my grandchildren see me as this wrinkled, sagging, helpless bag of flesh.”
“Oh, Celeste, you’re not—” Blythe held her tongue, realizing her mother-in-law needed this outburst.
Celeste continued, “ You are young. You have no idea how the body changes. My breasts are sagging. Everything is sagging! My skin is gray and I’ve got freckles and moles popping up all over. I had thought, seriously, of moving away, possibly to Florida where my friends go. Or, maybe to some nice, pleasant place in Indiana where no one knows what I used to look like.”
“Celeste, you’re beautiful. But that’s not why we all love you. You’re kind and smart and funny and generous. You know so much, and we need you to help us through our lives.”
Blythe awkwardly moved forward and hugged Celeste as she wept.
Voices exploded in the hall and suddenly Kate burst into the room, yelling, “She is my mother!”
Blythe quickly moved away from Celeste so that Kate could throw herself down on the hospital bed next to her mother.
“Mom. Are you okay?” Kate leaned over her mother, effectively blocking Blythe from Celeste’s vision.
A nurse entered. “We need to keep it down to one visitor at a time.”
Angrily, Kate said, “Then Blythe can leave! I’m Celeste’s daughter.”
“I’ll go.” Blythe peered around Kate’s body. “Take care, Celeste.”
Blythe left the hospital room and walked down the long hall. She found her daughter standing outside the glass doors, talking on her phone.
“She’s here now.” Holly handed her phone to Blythe. “I called Daddy.”
As soon as Blythe said hello, Bob barked, “What’s going on?”
“Celeste is in the hospital, but she’ll be okay.”
“What happened?”
“She had a minor heart attack.”
“Good God! She could die!”
“She won’t die, Bob. Calm down. I’ve just been with her. Your sister is with her now. Celeste’s lucid. She’ll be carefully watched.”
Bob only shouted louder. “Holly said my mother fell on the floor. How could you let Holly see her like that? It will damage her for life.”
“Holly is fine. She was calm enough to call you. She’s a brave girl.”
“Kate hasn’t called me. She’s such a tyrant about Mom.”
Blythe didn’t want to get into another discussion of the complications of dealing with Bob’s sister. “Why don’t you phone Kate? I’ve got to go.” Blythe ended the call.
She turned to her daughter. “Your father is worried, Holly.”
Holly peered up from beneath her long eyelashes. “I know. I’m sorry I called him.”
“Oh, honey, you were right to call him. You can always call him. This is a scary situation. You were amazing, handling it as well as you did.” Blythe took her daughter in her arms and held her tight. “Grandmother is going to be just fine.” She was reassuring herself as much as her daughter.
Blythe had no idea what time it was, but she knew she would dearly love a glass of white wine. She wanted to take Holly away from the hospital, back to the normalcy of her home.
But should she remain here, and if so, for how long? She couldn’t help Celeste. The nurses and doctor would do that. Kate wouldn’t want her around.
She was at the point of telling Holly they should go when Roland came almost running toward them. His hair stood up all over.
“How is she?” he panted.
“She’s okay, Roland. She’s okay.” Blythe put a gentle hand on the man’s arm to calm him. “Don’t worry. The nurses say the heart attack was minor.”
“My neighbor told me. He drove me here. He didn’t want me driving and having my own heart attack.” Roland’s laugh sounded just a little demented. “This morning when we spoke on the phone she said she just didn’t feel right. I should have taken her to Urgent Care.”
“Roland, she’s going to be fine. Kate’s with her now. Why don’t you go in and see her for a moment?”
Roland winced. “Kate scares me,” he whispered.
Blythe laughed. “Kate scares everyone. But I know it would give Celeste a boost just to see your face.”
Roland nodded. “All right.” He walked off down the corridor.
Blythe took Holly’s hand as they walked out the automatic sliding doors and to the car. “Now Grandmother has her daughter and her boyfriend with her. The hospital is taking care of her. She’ll be fine.”
“I texted Miranda, Teddy, and Daphne and told them about Grandmother.”
“Good girl. They’ll probably come home as soon as they can. While we wait, I think you need to watch Anne with an E or The Baby-Sitters Club. ”
“I’m hungry. Can I eat some cookies?”
Blythe glanced up. The blue sky of summer made the evening bright and timeless. She checked her watch.
“Oh, Holly, what a day! Listen, eat some carrots and broccoli with hummus first, and then you can eat all the cookies you want.”
“Agree.” Holly fist-bumped Blythe.
Back in her house, Blythe settled Holly in the family room. She read Daphne’s scrawled note on the kitchen blackboard: Eating with Lincoln. Home later.
Blythe stood in the kitchen, trying to gather her wits. Daphne would come home right after Holly’s text. Teddy would, too. And—
She heard a cry. A wrenching, heartbreaking sob.