Chapter Thirteen
HIS BUTLER’S VOICE telling him that his sister had turned up at his home unannounced made Gabriel close his eyes and breathe deeply. He returned the phone receiver to the cradle and refocused on the documents sent by his lawyer for him to read through.
Mariella let herself into his office without bothering to knock.
‘I did tell you I was too busy to see you,’ he said, pre-empting her.
‘You did,’ she agreed cheerfully, draping herself on his office armchair. ‘But seeing as it’s Friday evening and you’re here in Madrid and not in Ceres, and you’ve been avoiding me all week, I decided to put off my dinner date and ignore your edict. Going to tell me what’s going on?’
‘There is nothing going on.’ He dropped his gaze back to his paperwork and made a point of crossing a line out in heavy black marker pen.
‘Then why aren’t you in Ceres? The wedding’s tomorrow.’
‘Yes, and as I told you and everyone else, I will not be attending.’
She was silent for such a long time that Gabriel felt compelled to look back up at her. Hunched forwards, elbows on her thighs, chin in the palms of her hands, her stare was speculative.
‘What?’ he asked tersely.
Her eyes narrowed. ‘I know you’re a stubborn thing, but I did think on this one occasion you would change your mind.’
‘Then you thought wrong.’
‘And what about Alessia?’
‘What about her?’
‘Don’t play dumb, Gabriel. It doesn’t suit you.’
He struck another black line through the document. He didn’t even know what clause he’d just struck out. ‘Alessia and I have agreed to part ways,’ he told her, and blacked out another line.
His sister’s unnatural silence made him look at her again.
‘It’s for the best,’ he told her. ‘Our lives are not compatible. We will agree to custody arrangements for our child nearer the—’
His words were cut off when Mariella jumped up from her seat and snatched the documents off his desk. Seconds later, she’d thrown them out of the window.
‘What in hell do you think you’re doing?
’ she raged before he could ask that very same question of her.
‘What is wrong with you? The woman you love is thousands of miles away preparing for one of the biggest days of her life—the coverage of the wedding is everywhere. I know you can’t stand the media but how can you let her go through that alone? ’
Completely unnerved to witness his sister lose her temper, something he could never remember seeing her do before, he said, ‘I just told you, we’ve separated.’
‘Then get yourself back to Ceres and un-separate yourselves before it’s too late!’
‘It’s already too late. She’s made her mind up and I agree with her. We are not compatible. Alessia’s life is one of duty and that is not—’
‘And what about your duty to her as a husband?’ Mariella demanded, stamping her foot for emphasis. ‘What happened to your conviction that you could make your marriage work?’
‘I was wrong.’
She stamped her foot again. Gabriel had the strong feeling she wished it was his head under it.
‘Since when have you told lies and since when have you quit at anything? You have succeeded at everything you’ve ever set out to achieve and more—if you’d wanted to make your marriage work then you would have done. ’
‘I did want it to work.’
‘Then why are you sitting here pretending to work while your marriage falls apart, you idiot?’ Slamming her hands on his desk, she leaned over so her face was right in his.
‘I have never seen you as happy as you were with her. I could even hear it in your voice. I was so happy for you. It gave me hope that maybe there might be someone out there prepared to take on the screw-up that is me. You found the happiness that I would kill for and now you’re throwing it away?
You married a princess, Gabriel. You knew what the deal was.
Either you accept that fully and embrace it or you can look forward to a life as miserable as the one our mother leads. ’
‘Our mother’s life is not miserable.’
‘Of course it is! She has two children who both love her and have always forgiven her, and still she can only find succour from the adulation of strangers. If that’s not a miserable life then what is it?’
‘A selfish one.’
‘That too, yes! And the path you’re heading right now is going to be just as selfish and lonely and miserable as hers is.’
Gabriel couldn’t stop thinking of Mariella’s loss of temper. The quarter bottle of bourbon he’d drunk since she’d stormed out of his villa had done nothing to numb his brain.
As much as he wished to plead ignorance and deny any of what she’d said, he knew it was her perception that he was throwing happiness away that had made her see red. Mariella’s life revolved around finding her personal Holy Grail. Happiness.
His sister’s imagination was as overactive as his wife’s.
His estranged wife.
His guts clenched painfully. He had another swig of bourbon.
He’d felt no need to argue back with his sister. He’d felt a little like a spectator watching a usually passive animal in a zoo suddenly start behaving irrationally. Not like it had been with Alessia.
He closed his eyes as their ferocious argument replayed itself. His blood pumped harder to remember how that had felt.
After decades spent containing and controlling his emotions, he’d finally met his match. He couldn’t hide himself from Alessia. God knew he’d tried. God knew it was impossible.
Alessia brought the full spectrum of human emotion out in him...
He straightened sharply, jerking his crystal glass so bourbon spilled over his lap. As the liquid soaked into his trousers, his mind cleared.
His sister’s perception that he was throwing away happiness had been no view. It had been a fact.
And Alessia’s view that he’d sabotaged their marriage had been a fact too. Her reasoning, though, was only partly right.
He’d sabotaged it because Alessia made him feel too damn much, and she had from the moment she’d stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight on the balcony. She’d broken down every inch of barrier he’d installed to protect himself with, and slipped under his skin.
He had no reason to put those barriers back up.
He didn’t need to protect himself any more.
Not from Alessia. She would never use him as a prop or put her needs ahead of his.
He doubted she’d ever put her needs above anyone else’s in her entire life.
She didn’t want him as a prop. She only wanted him for himself.
He’d been too scared to let go and give her what she needed from him: the whole of himself.
She’d offered him the whole of herself, and instead of getting down on his knees and worshipping the goddess in her entirety as she deserved, he’d selfishly demanded she throw the biggest part of herself away.
Ice licked his skin as the magnitude of what he’d done crawled through him like an approaching tsunami coming to drown him.
He’d pushed away the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He’d pushed away the woman he loved.
He’d pushed away the princess he loved.
With a guttural roar that came from somewhere unknown deep inside him, Gabriel threw the glass as hard as he could. It smashed against the wall and rained down thousands of crystal fragments. His tear-stained image reflected in every shard.
Amadeo’s wedding was the first of the three Berruti siblings not to be held in the royal chapel.
As heir to the throne, it had been decided with input from the Ceresian government that his position warranted a wedding in the capital city’s cathedral.
The whole nation had been given a day’s holiday to celebrate, and they were out in force, old and young alike lining the entire route from the castle to the cathedral, many wearing the national costume that resembled a brightly coloured poncho, most waving the national flag, and all cheering.
Alessia and the four supremely excited small cousins who made up the other bridesmaids followed the horse-drawn carriage carrying the bride and the man giving her away: the King of Monte Cleure.
Alessia and Clara had privately agreed earlier that morning—and Alessia made sure their conversation was entirely private—that Elsbeth would probably run down the aisle to get away from him.
Any nagging fears that Elsbeth was being forced into this marriage were dispelled by the excitement shining in her eyes and all over her pretty face.
On that, Gabriel had been right.
She pushed thoughts of him away and continued waving to the cheering crowd.
Today was a day of celebration. Having spent a little time with the bride, she’d become increasingly convinced that she was a woman her brother could fall in love with.
..if he allowed himself to. Amadeo had a strong streak of stubbornness in him and was quite capable of denying himself happiness if it meant he didn’t have to admit he was wrong.
Whether Amadeo fell in love with her or not, Alessia was determined to welcome Elsbeth into the Berruti family and make her feel that she belonged.
Gabriel could have belonged too if he’d allowed it.
Gabriel could go to hell.
The spineless coward hadn’t called her. After the way he’d ghosted her before, she shouldn’t be surprised. She’d sent him a message giving him the date, place and time of their baby’s first scan next week. He hadn’t responded. It was on him if he wanted to be there.
Little Carolina, five years old and adorable with a thick mane of black corkscrew hair, spotted someone in the crowd she knew and would have jumped out of the carriage to greet them if Alessia’s reflexes hadn’t been so good.
Pulling the excitable child onto her lap, she hugged her close and blinked back a hot stab of tears.
No crying today.
It didn’t matter how often she told herself that he wasn’t worth her tears, they still flooded her face and soaked her pillow every night.