Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
CLARA
I t is a truth universally acknowledged that my body was built with the innate ability to find the nearest bookshop, no matter where I was. This particular bookshop wasn’t part of my plan for the afternoon, but once I’d stumbled upon it, I couldn’t ignore the pull to go inside.
For one reason only.
I turned to Jesse before I led him into the bookshop. “You want to know a fun fact?” I asked. He nodded. “I have an obsession with collecting editions of Macbeth .”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I have literally never seen one edition in your possession.”
I threaded my fingers through his. “There is one. On one of the bookshelves in the living room, but it’s fairly hidden, so I can understand why you’ve never noticed it. It’s my favourite one because it came from Shakespeare and Company . The real site of my problem is at my parents’ house. They seem to have accepted it for what it is. Dad even brought me one back from Quebec once.” He had also built two additional shelves in the house to accommodate the ever-growing collection, but I didn’t think Jesse needed to know that just yet.
“So, how many do you already have in French?” he asked as he pulled me into his side and looped his arm around my shoulders as we entered the bookshop.
“I have three in French. But that is not the point. In this case, we are only interested in what it looks like.”
“You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover,” he teased.
“That is bullshit and you know it. Now, are you going to help me with my quest or not?”
“What’s your plan of action?”
I pulled away from him and tried to get a lay of the land.
“Logic says to start with plays,” I said just as I felt myself being drawn to a particular section and started walking off.
I didn’t need to look to know that Jesse was close behind.
In an unsurprising stroke of luck, when I reached my intended destination, it was the play section. It was small, but that didn’t mean it would fail me.
“Why Macbeth ?” Jesse asked as he came up behind me. Not close enough to be touching me, but close enough that I could feel his body heat. I had a sudden urge to step backwards into him and let him wrap me up in his arms.
I ignored it.
“The witches. Lady M is a badass. I think it’s one of the better-written plays, but it’s overlooked in favour of Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet . Plus, I like the fact that it is so cursed that people are scared to say its name.”
I scanned the spines methodically, my fingers tapping along the edges.
“Isn’t that only in theatres?” Jesse’s fingers were also lazily trailing along the spines, making me lose concentration.
“Can’t remember. All I know is that I’m not allowed to say it more than twice in quick succession. The third time is basically like summoning the Candyman.”
I squatted to the floor and kept looking at the spines on the lower shelves. I thought it would help me ignore his distracting hands, but now my head was crotch height, so I’d created a whole new problem for myself.
“How does that work?” he asked.
I looked up. He was leaning against the shelves now, legs crossed at the ankle, making his thighs bulge against his shorts. His arms were crossed over his torso, making his shoulders look broader and the sleeves of his T-shirt look tighter. I tried to make my gaze reach his face, but it was proving harder than expected. When I eventually did make it past his chest, his eyes looked more steely-grey than blue.
I cleared my throat.
“What do you mean?” I asked, no longer sure what we were talking about.
“Well, I’ve said it once. You’ve said it once. Can I say it again, or would that bring dishonour on our cows?”
I laughed and refocused on my search.
“I notice you didn’t risk it. It’s not your superstition.”
I felt his knee nudge my bicep gently, the small touch igniting along my skin. “Why is it yours?”
“I inherited it like I inherited being tall. To answer your question, we both get two.”
We were quiet for a short while as I kept looking at the spines.
He broke the silence. “‘What’s done cannot be undone’.”
My fingers paused on the spine in front of me, and I looked up at him again. “Is this the part where you tell me that you can recite the whole play?” He smiled. Two could play that game. My pointless party trick was that I could recite the whole play. No one wanted that at parties.
“‘There’s daggers in men’s smiles’,” I shot back.
“‘When our actions do not, our fear makes us traitors’,” he replied instantly.
A genuine fear of mine was being a wanky English graduate. Squatting in a bookshop doing what could only be described as flirting with a man in Shakespearean quotes definitely took me into wanky territory. But he seemed to be actively encouraging it. Which was…new. Drew would sneer at me for showing off that I read books and could quote Shakespeare like it was my third language, so I shut it down and kept it buried.
It felt dangerous to be around someone who would feed that side of me. It felt like pure comfort.
“So, you can recite the whole play?” I asked again, not wanting to lean in too close to the safety he was providing just yet.
“No, it was a heavy feature in my A levels, but I’m not stashing the whole thing in my head. Hate to break it to you, but it’s Romeo and Juliet for me.”
I deserved comfort.
“‘These violent delights have violent ends’.”
Jesse’s face lit up with a smile and a gentle laugh.
“Of course, that’s where you start.”
“It was in keeping with my Macbeth theme.”
Jesse held up two long fingers. “That’s two.”
“Thanks for the reminder. Alright, come on, what have you got?” I goaded.
He ran his tongue slowly over his lower lip. The air between us shifted.
“‘O, I am Fortune’s fool’.” There was a sadness in his voice, but I didn’t dwell on it.
“‘Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting’,” I said, half distracted as my eyes snagged on the title I had been looking for. I slipped it out triumphantly and slowly stood up. I waved it in Jesse’s face, and the smile came back.
“‘Virtue itself turns to vice’.” He plucked the book from my grip and flicked through the pages. This version was in French.
“‘Under love’s heavy burden do I sink’.” I intended to say it jokingly, but my voice dipped too low, and Jesse licked his bottom lip again. I cleared my throat. “I meant my love for?—”
“ Macbeth ,” he finished for me. I nodded as he stepped towards me.
He was almost pressed flush against me. I could feel his ribcage against mine as his chest rose and fell with quickening breaths. His right eye almost had no blue left in it. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and for the first time, consciously, I wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss Jesse.
Would he tease and move slowly, making me desperate for more? Or would he dive straight in and devour? I wasn’t sure which one I wanted more. Maybe both. Both would be good.
“Your knowledge is pretty impressive for someone who isn’t a fan.” His mouth was so close. I would only have to tip my head forward a fraction.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t a fan, I said it was the reason my favourite was overlooked. I studied at GCSE, A Level, my first year of uni, and it was a key text in my dissertation. Oh, and I played Juliet when I was seventeen.”
He smiled, and my hand found itself on the back of his neck, my fingers threading through the hair at the nape. His eyes flickered closed for a moment.
“‘Go wisely and slowly’.” I spoke the words almost into his mouth, our lips brushing for a hair of a second.
There was a crash to the side of us, and we pulled apart. I felt cold at the loss of him, like I had when I woke up this morning without him there.
“‘Parting is such sweet sorrow’.” He winked at me before walking back to the front of the shop. I took a deep breath and followed him.
“You know I can buy this, right?” I said as I settled in next to him at the counter, and one of his arms looped over my shoulders immediately. I warmed at the press of him against my side.
“I do, but now when anyone asks if you really needed another edition, you can say it wasn’t your fault and mean it.”
“I was the one who went purposefully looking for it,” I pointed out.
“True, but I was the one who held the door open for you.”
The cashier handed him a receipt, and he led me out of the shop without removing his arm from around me.
“That is a loophole I can get on board with.”
There was a soft press of lips against my temple. Butterflies took off from that touch, and I never wanted the feeling to end.
“What do you want to do now? We’ve got an hour before we have to get on the road, or Becky may have my head.”
“I think it would look good mounted on a wall. Very pretty. Although, I think I might prefer it attached to your body.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and drew circles on the place where my fingers landed. I was becoming increasingly obsessed with touching him in some way or another, but he didn’t seem to mind it. His muscles tensed for a moment before they relaxed.
“I want ice cream,” I said when I realised we had been caught up in each other in the middle of the street.
He removed his arm from my shoulders and immediately threaded his fingers through mine.
“Ice cream it is.”