Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Phoebe
I could still feel him against my body. His hands on my hips, fingers digging into my skin. His breaths stuttering in and out of him as we stared into each other's eyes.
This wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't what I needed.
It was the exact opposite of what I'd dreamed this holiday would be.
But I couldn't deny the way Henry Cohen made me feel any longer.
Even if nothing were to happen between us, the way he looked at me lit me up, and it had been a hell of a long time since someone had had the ability to make me feel that way.
Like I was someone to be desired, not discarded.
The damage Rob had done to my self-esteem and any ego I may have had was immeasurable, and nothing spoke of that louder than my 'no men' rule on this holiday. A rule Henry now threatened to compromise.
I had to be stronger than that, but it was hard as hell to keep my eyes off him as he and Jace laid on their sides in the sand, propped up on their elbows, talking to one another as though the whole incident between Henry and me had never even happened.
“He’s looking at you again,” Rhea said beside me, her voice low as she sat there with her legs crossed while she lifted sand into her hands, then let it fall through her fingers. Her eyes were hooded as she glared at me, a small smirk on her lips.
Without thinking, I glanced Henry's way, only to catch him eyeing me before he quickly looked down and focused back on the sand he was currently running his hand over.
“Sheesh,” Rhea said. “The tension between you two.”
I turned to face her again, my heart racing far too wildly. “Rhea, don't. I can't go there.”
“Why not?”
“Because I made a promise to myself.”
“One based on that lowlife, scumbag’s actions, not one based on what could actually be good for you. Fuck Rob. You're really going to let that prick ruin your holiday?”
“I'm not going to let any prick ruin it.”
Her eyes slid to Henry again. “I think there's more to him than any of us know just yet.”
I couldn't help scowling at that. I'd spent a little time with him here and there—more so than the other girls—and I'd definitely seen glimpses of something else along the way.
But when and how had Rhea noticed? Had Bailey seen something in him too?
As far as I knew, all Henry had ever been around my friends was. .. bristly.
“What makes you say that?”
Rhea shrugged. “I have an inkling, that's all. You know, like when you first started dating Rob, and I warned you to be careful.”
She had. Rhea had taken an instant dislike to my ex from the moment she'd met him, only warming to him over the years for my benefit, no doubt. She'd pushed her gut feelings aside because, at the time, he'd been who I thought would make me happy.
How wrong could I have been?
“Cohen wants you, Bee. Whether he's ready to admit it or not, he likes what he sees.” She leaned closer to me. “Maybe, just maybe, the two of you would be good for each other. Loosen each other up a little.”
“That's… not a good idea.”
“No? Then, why are your cheeks all flushed at even the thought of it?”
My heart raced even harder, imagining the moment Henry pressed not just his body but his lips against mine. The feel of his strong hands pulling all of me towards him. The sounds he'd make if I jumped up into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist.
“Huh,” Rhea said. “Thirty-degree heat and your nipples suddenly look like they could cut glass again. That’s quite a problem you keep having there, Bee.” She looked up at me, knowing she’d made her point.
“I'm heading for a swim,” I told her, not waiting for any response before I jumped up and walked away, though I didn't miss the small chuckle she set free. I could have sworn I also heard the word 'denial' thrown in there somewhere. I just didn't have the energy to confront her about it.
Trying not to fall over, I strode into the ocean as quickly as I could, and even though the cool waves took my breath away the moment my shoulders went beneath the surface, I welcomed the distraction as I treaded the water, desperate to put Henry and my apparent lack of control to the back of my mind.
I had no idea how I’d gotten into this state of mind so quickly, but I took the time alone to focus on the horizon while reminding myself why I’d flown out to Mykonos in the first place.
At least that had been the plan until I heard someone wading through the waters behind me.
“Rhea.” I groaned. “If you’re here to taunt me some more about H?—”
“Hey.”
I spun around to see Henry's narrow waist, toned stomach, and broad shoulders growing closer, while I stood there, neck-deep, feeling that annoying prickling of nervous excitement washing over me again as I let my feet hit the seabed and took him in.
So much for me pushing him to the back of my mind.
“It okay if I join you?” He ran his wet hands through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead to reveal those deep eyes I'd been trying desperately to escape. “I can’t handle playing third wheel to those two back there.”
I glanced over his shoulder to find Rhea propped up on her side next to Jace, the two of them looking unusually cosy as they faced one another. Even from here, I could see their laughter flowing easily as though they didn’t have a care in the world but each other.
I envied their freedom.
“Or I can go swim over there away from you if it's a problem,” Henry said when I didn’t answer, bringing my attention back to him.
The moment our eyes locked, I struggled for breath again.
What the hell was he doing to me?
“No.” I shook my head. “No, you're good.”
“You sure? Not that you've ever looked particularly happy to see me, but you look like I've just pissed in your prosecco or something.”
“It's fine. You're fine.” Too fine.
He let his shoulders sink beneath the surface of the water without even hitching in a breath at the temperature change. But those eyes of his... they were locked on me, and I suddenly became paranoid about what the hell to say to him.
This was the first time we'd ever been alone where both of us were in a good mood and sober. I had no idea how to act around him without the bravado of the volleyball game or pretending he didn't intrigue me when we were around our friends.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yep.” I nodded, sounding anything but okay.
“Hmm.”
“What’s that noise for?”
“Well, I’m curious about something. I asked you the other day, but you never gave me your answer.”
“To what?”
“Whether or not I make you nervous, Phoebe,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Pft.” I reared back. “Why… why would you make me nervous?”
His arms skimmed over the surface of the water, the small, barely-there waves rocking our bodies as we stood only a few feet apart now. “Because you always look uncertain about something when you're around me.”
“Probably because I never know which version of you I'm going to get.”
Henry huffed out a soft laugh that genuinely lit up his face. “That's fair, I suppose.”
“You suppose? Henry, you're ten different men trapped in one body when you're around me.”
“I know.”
I raised a brow. “That's it? You know?”
“What do you want? An explanation?”
“I mean, it would help a little.”
“Help with what? You trying to understand me, Phoebe?”
“I'm not trying to understand you. I'm just trying to figure out a pattern for your behaviour so I know what to expect from one minute to the next.”
“Always expect inconsistency, then you'll never be disappointed.”
“You're hilarious.” I deadpanned.
“Phoebe Turner.” He said my name like he was tasting it for the very first time, his chin tilted towards the sun. “You're not easy to be around either, you know.”
“Me? What the hell have I done?”
“Existed.”
That one word cut through me more than it probably should have done, but before I could question it, Henry took a step closer and pressed a wet finger to my lips, stopping any response I had to give.
His eyes searched mine, full of light and humour and ease, his touch a relentless burn to my sensitive skin.
“Don't get it twisted. I don't mean I never wish you'd been born.
I'm very glad you were. All I mean is that you're a complication I didn't need on this trip when I'm trying to be cold, aloof, and distant, which isn’t working because you're kinda perfect, and that's hard to stay away from no matter how well trained in being closed off a guy is.”
A stuttered breath took hold of me, and all I could do was blink back at him, too scared to ruin the moment while secretly begging for more of what little he had to give.
“I just needed you to know that it's not you, it's me. It could never be you, okay?”
My mouth closed behind his fingertip, and I swallowed all my desires, only able to nod once in response before he let his finger slip from my mouth, down my chin, and brush delicately against my chest until it fell into the water again, breaking all contact.
I mourned the loss of him instantly.
“Have I rendered you speechless, smart arse?”
“I’m not sure where to even begin,” I said, somehow finding my weak voice, though barely.
“Then, don’t.” He half-smiled. “This is a me problem, like I said. I never have liked wanting what I can't have.”
Can't have? What did that even mean? How could a man like Henry Cohen ever not get whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it?
I had no idea, but I also couldn't explain the multitude of feelings rushing through me at that moment because I didn't understand a single one of them.
Fortunately for me, I didn't have to, because the loudest whistle from the beach had Henry turning away from me to look back at Jace and Rhea, who were standing at the water’s edge.
“We're heading to meet Bailey and Andy at the bar. You guys coming?” Jace called out to us.
Nope. We're staying here until I can find the right way to tell Henry that I don't hate him, either. We're not moving until we put this conversation to the kind of end that leaves us both satisfied with the answers we receive.
“Yep. Count me in!” Henry called back before he started wading through the waves to make it back to shore, leaving me to stare at his perfectly sculpted body emerging from the ocean as though he hadn't just dropped a bomb and left me behind in the wreckage.
Still...
He'd called me kinda perfect.
A compliment I’d take out of the water to use as a buoy whenever anyone else tried to drag me under from this moment on.
Whether he’d meant it or not.