Chapter 5 Heaven
Heaven
I’m sitting on the couch, waiting for my parents to come home from work.
We’re going out for a family dinner. Olive Garden.
Dad says there’s been some tweaks to the menu and he wants to see if he can taste the difference.
And then we’re going to go over this year’s bingo card.
Dad said it’s his best one yet. I believe him and I can’t wait to see it, but for the last two days all I’ve been thinking about is my assignments from Miss Kelly.
She’s sent me a pretty long list of different tattoo styles and a bunch of flash sheets to study.
And she sent me a few tattoo artists’ BeeBop and Instagram accounts to give me an idea of what I need to do.
After I let my mom’s dogs out into the backyard for a quick potty break, I had plans to watch Call the Midwife again from the beginning.
I was going to put it on while I set up my new Instagram account, but like four episodes ago, I opened my personal account and I just kinda froze.
I’ve only posted like thirty pictures since starting the account when I was thirteen.
I only have twenty followers. Most of the posts have like two or three likes, all of them from Jake, Axel, and my parents.
I switch over to Miss Kelly’s account again.
She has half a million followers. Yeah, she was on Masters of Ink, twice as a contestant and once as a judge.
She’s tattoo famous and she’s good. Like really good.
I know it’ll take time for me to learn and build up my own skill set, and I know I shouldn’t compare myself to someone who’s been at this for years, but still.
I look at the pieces she’s posted, how good they are, and the pictures of Miss Kelly herself that she has up there.
Hundreds and sometimes thousands of people talking about how much they love her piercings and all her tattoos.
She does look pretty cool. I don’t even want people to see me with my hair down. How the heck am I supposed to do this?
I switch over to Mr. Rick’s account, and a few seconds later a message from Axel hits our three-person group text with Jake.
Heav, looks like you got another friend on TEAM LEZ BEEE ANNE!
I squint at the link he sent along. It’s from @CristineFord’s BeeBop. Before I can click on it, Jake responds.
She told me and Bethany.
I figured she’d tell everyone at some point.
Still kinda confused, I click. Mrs. Ford’s face fills the screen.
I’ve known Saylor and her mom since second grade.
Last year Saylor dated Jake for like five minutes until she sister-wife swapped him over to Bethany.
We didn’t have a reason to talk to each other until Bethany and Jake made it clear they were inseparable.
With Saylor and Bethany being best friends and such we’re just kind of around each other a lot, but she and the rest of their crew actually like group activities, like gym class and competitive sports, so I don’t have that much to talk to them about.
Mrs. Ford invited me to come to their house for winter formal pictures, which was nice I guess, but ended up being hella awkward ’cause I didn’t have a date. I survived, but I did not show up when she invited me back for the spring dance.
In the BeeBop she’s talking about Saylor coming out to her, which I guess is cool for Team Lesbian, which I am on.
Saylor’s easily the hottest girl in our school, so it’s a little satisfying to know she’s one of us.
She makes me a little uncomfortable, because I love my personal space and Saylor is touchy-feely affectionate with anyone who will let her get close.
It took me a while to get used to how she was always hugging and kissing Bethany on the cheek or hanging on their other friend Tatum.
Maybe that had a little to do with the gay too.
I did hear she dumped her boyfriend right before school got out, but I figured she was just ready for a new man.
I have no idea why her mom is crying though or why the video is ten minutes long.
I can’t commit that many brain cells to Mrs. Ford’s emotions. I swipe back over to the group chat.
Axel, why is Mrs. Ford on your FYP?
I follow her.
She gets so many brand deals. Makes shopping for the woman in your life a breeze.
Well good for Saylor and me I guess.
When the war against the straights breaks out we’ll need to get our numbers up.
Just know I’m down to spy for team gay any day of the week.
Appreciate it.
Axel sends back the little emoji guy doing the salute, and I’m glad I’ll always have his loyalty, even in fictional wars.
I look up at the TV just as I hear the garage door open.
I’ve been zoned out through a whole episode of my nuns and newborns drama.
I’ll run it back later because I need to see the doctor and Nurse Glasses fall in love with each other again.
Fergie and Di pop from their spots on the cool floor and trot over to the mudroom door.
“Oh look, it’s my puppies. And my princess!”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Looks like you’re all ready for dinner,” she said, looking at my new Carhartt khakis and my black crop T-shirt.
I’m even wearing fresh socks. I’ve been really leaning into all-day jammies since school got out.
Did I need to get ready like five hours early?
No, but it gave me something to do before trying to get started on this big new professional life of mine.
Too bad I didn’t make any progress on the assignment Miss Kelly gave me.
“Yeah, all ready to go.”
“Great. Dad’s outside talking to Mr. Howard. Did the girls go out?” she asks just as the door opens again.
“Whoa, hey. Everyone’s here!” Dad says as he walks into the room. He sets down his bag on one of the island stools before he kisses Mom on the cheek. “Princess Heaven?”
“Yes, Dr. Campbell.”
Dad tilts his head up and then throws me a huge bag of Starbursts. I hop up and snatch the bag out of the air as I hear Mom groan. “Warren,” she scolds.
“What? She said she was gonna use the wrappers to make some art. Who am I to stand in the way of art?!” Dad playfully shrieks.
“Heaven, please don’t eat those all at once,” Mom says.
“I was gonna wedge four or five between my teeth right before bed and let them do their magic.”
“Very funny. Are we still buying out the Olive Garden?” she asks.
“Hell yeah,” Dad says. “I gotta do a taste test. Also, I can’t do my bingo presentation in this dump.” He motions around our huge kitchen/living space, the center of this gorgeous house they definitely picked out together.
“Hmmm, yes. This very hideous home,” Mom says, rolling her eyes before a hopeful grin spreads out over her face. “You gonna drive tonight?” she asks me.
“Yeah, I can.”
“Lewis Hamilton Jr. here can’t wait to get back behind the wheel,” Dad jokes. Along with my artistic skills, I’m a really good driver. Both of my parents are giddy over the fact that I can drive them around now.
· · ·
Almost an hour later, we’re sitting in a booth in what my dad calls the fancy Olive Garden.
The new construction looks more like a botanical garden with its glass walls and high columns.
There’s an Olive Garden in the mall right near our house, but my dad is obsessed with this newer location.
We order our food, three entrées for my dad since he has some real scientific research to do, and then he pulls out his tablet.
Clearing his throat, he makes a show of looking at Mom, then me, and back to Mom again.
“Dr. Goo. Daughter Goo-Campbell.”
“Warren,” Mom replies.
“Dr. Dad,” I respond as well.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be on a Friday night than with my two lovely ladies.
I appreciate both of your patience as I spent painstaking weeks putting this summer’s bingo challenge together.
In years past we were limited by the distances our princess was willing to travel on her skateboard and what we could do with our busy schedules, but she passed that driving test, baby.
Proved she can be trusted with a new whip, so this summer the world, or Los Angeles County, is your oyster. ”
I hold out my hand for the tablet. “Can I please see, Dad?”
He scoffs. “I’m not done with my speech.”
I roll my eyes and sit back in the booth.
“This year I’ve incorporated some of your favorite things, arts as well as crafts.
Two museum visits because I thought three might be overdoing it.
A few adventures on the road to destinations of your choice, some adventures close to home, opportunities to try some music that might be new to you, and because of your recent conversions with Miss Kelly, two opportunities to work on your gift of gab with some local strangers. ”
“I was with you until that last part,” I say, my face getting hot as Mom squeezes my hand.
“It’ll be fine, honey,” she says.
“It’ll be great!” Dad says, and then he finally hands me the tablet.
I look at the bingo board filling the screen, Heaven’s Summertime Bingo Challenge splashed across the top in a graffiti font.
Some people might think a lot of the squares are filled with childish stuff, but I’m looking forward to Tie-Dye Fun, Land a New Skate Trick, and a Backyard Campout.
I smile at the Draw a Picture for Your Mom.
A picture is all she’s ever asked me for every holiday and birthday since I could hold a pencil.
The other squares, though, Interview a Small Business Owner and Interview Miss Anita, our postal carrier, make my stomach turn.
Miss Anita is nice, but I have no idea what I’d even say to her. And a small business owner?
“Can I interview Mom? She owns her own business.”
“No,” both my parents say at the same time.
“You’re seventeen now, baby girl,” Dad says. “You gotta start getting that confidence up and I know you can do it.”
I look over as Mom gives me a nod of encouragement.
And what can I say to that? Oh no, my parents believe in me?
How awful! I know they are just trying to help me, and I likely won’t die if I talk to two adults I don’t know very well, but we don’t know that for sure.
What if I burst into flames the minute I see Miss Anita? Stranger things have happened.
I swallow and try to push down my rising panic. Luckily, our server shows up with our waters and my strawberry lemonade. I take a sip and try to figure out how I’m going to pull this all off. It’s gonna be a long summer.