Chapter Eight - Natalia
Chapter Eight
Natalia
S he’d completely slept Saturday and most of Sunday away. However, she had managed to peel herself out of bed on Sunday morning and brewed herself a cup of coffee. After that she returned to her bed and covered herself in the light blue cotton sheets. She’d seen Lu’s two calls but sent a text that she’d call her back. She also received Kenya’s text that she’d had a good time at church and was spending the evening at her parents’ house.
Should I bring you a plate? Mom fried chicken. I had to leave unexpectedly, but I’m still in the city. I can run back by there and grab you something, Kenya texted with all sorts of happy faces and other emojis.
No thank you. I’m going to cook something, Natalia lied. She had no intention of cooking anything. In fact, it had taken every ounce of energy she had just to brew a cup of coffee that morning.
On a normal day, Natalia would have devoured Kenya’s mother’s fried chicken—no doubt the woman could cook. But she hadn’t had an appetite for food. She only responded to the text in order to deter Kenya from popping up on her once she returned to Cape May from her parents’ home. Luckily, she’d pulled her car into the garage on Friday. If Kenya returned and saw her car in the driveway, she might stop by. She didn’t want any visitors. Didn’t want her friends to see her this way: vulnerable, weak, wounded. She didn’t want to talk. All she wanted to do was hide beneath the covers and never emerge.
In the quietness of the house, all that could be heard were waves from the ocean crashing against the shore. It had been one of the selling points of the house, the fact that the ocean was just outside their bedroom’s balcony. There were countless nights that she and Nic spent on that balcony, sipping glasses of Cabernet from her vineyard, discussing their future. They would spend most of the night out there making plans and then retire to the bedroom for passionate lovemaking. That was before talk of a baby had ever come up, before the fertility treatments and doctors. Before their communication started to crumble. Before he stopped loving her. Before Angelina had completely stolen her life.
The doorbell sounded louder than usual and seemed to have an echo. She pressed her face into the pillow and groaned.
“No,” she whispered.
Her phone rang almost simultaneously with the second doorbell ring. It was Lu. It was a ritual that she spoke with Lu and Kenya daily, sometimes several times per day, so it was unusual for her not to see Lu or hear her voice for almost two days. She knew she wasn’t going away. She’d ring that doorbell until she got an answer.
Natalia pulled herself from the bed, wrapped herself in Nic’s robe, and made her way down the wooden stairs and to the front door. She peeped through the lace curtains. Both Lu and Kenya stood on her front porch, Lu with her hands on the hips of her small frame.
She opened the door. Lu stepped inside without an invitation. “Neither of us have heard a peep from you in two days. What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Of course. Come on in.” Natalia opened the door wider for Kenya and she stepped inside, too.
Lu was already headed for the kitchen, turning on lights in the hallway as she went along. “Why is it so dark in here? So quiet? ”
“I was resting.” Natalia followed behind Lu, the walnut-colored hardwood cool against her bare feet.
She and Nic had stained the unfinished hardwoods after they’d moved in. It was a project that they’d tackled together, the flooring as well as painting the walls throughout the house in beach-inspired hues like moss green, light yellow, and baby blue. They’d spent hours at the local hardware store picking just the right paint colors.
“Are you sick?” Lu opened the stainless-steel refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water.
“No . . .”
“I called you yesterday.” Kenya entered the kitchen, her eyes busy observing the space, looking for anything that might be out of place. “I wanted to go antique shopping.”
“Oh yes, I got your message too late,” Natalia lied. “Did you find anything?”
“I found an old chest. I’ve already started sanding it, prepping it for the mahogany stain. It’s going to be beautiful when I finish.” There was always a bit of excitement in Kenya’s voice when she talked antiques. She loved antique shopping just as much as she loved refinishing old pieces. It was her thing. Then, observing the empty stove, she said, “I thought you cooked.”
“I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Well, honey, it’s almost eight. What time do you plan on eating?” Lu asked.
“I . . .”
‘What’s going on, Natalia? Something isn’t right.” Lu cut right to the chase, as she always did.
“Is it Nic? Has he told you when he’s coming home?” Kenya asked. She was a straight shooter also, but with a bit more compassion.
Natalia stood there in the middle of her kitchen filled with white cabinets that brightened the room, black marble counters, and, just outside of the floor-to-ceiling windows, she could see that the sun was setting over the ocean. She began to busy herself by placing Fridays’ dishes into the dishwasher. She grabbed the empty bottle from the wine that she’d finished off on Friday and tossed it into the trash. She wiped down the counters, though they weren’t dirty at all. Midstream, her emotions got the better of her, and before she could prevent them, the tears had overtaken her face.
Lu rushed over and hugged her tightly. “Sweetheart, what is going on?”
Natalia exhaled. She’d been lying to them and now she was exhausted. It was time she stopped making excuses, telling them half-truths. They were her friends, after all, who had been there for her and she for them. Her pride had gotten the better of her, but she needed them now. She needed to make sense of what was happening in her life. She collapsed into Lu’s arms and glanced over at Kenya, who had a look of concern on her face. Natalia recognized that look because it was the same one she’d given Kenya when Glen died. She knew that Kenya hadn’t been okay even when she kept saying that she was. She imagined that her friend had fallen apart, just as Natalia was doing now. Back then, she’d even had the nerve to chastise Kenya for not being honest and forthright with them about her feelings and emotions. And here she was, doing the same thing.
“We’re your friends. We’re here for you. Don’t shut us out,” is what she’d told Kenya when Glen died.
Though Kenya hadn’t said those words to her, the look on her face was conviction enough.
“I don’t think he’s coming back,” Natalia managed to say through the lump in her throat. The tears were uncontrollable now.
“What? What do you mean?” Kenya grabbed Natalia’s hand and held it tightly.
Natalia exhaled, then sighed deeply. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. “Follow me.”
Lu and Kenya looked at each other, puzzled.
Natalia led the way out of the kitchen and up the wooden stairs. They followed. They stood in the bedroom while she went into the walk-in closet and pulled out the gray box that had changed her life. She came back into the bedroom, stuck her hand into the pocket of the robe, and pulled out the key. She unlocked the box and pulled out the stack of envelopes.
“I ran across these letters. They’re from Angelina to Nic.”
“Angelina, his child’s mother, right?”
“Yes.” She pulled the very first letter that Angelina had written from the stack, handed it to Kenya. “Here. Read it.”
Kenya read the letter aloud, stopping midway to look at Natalia and then Lu. “Are you kidding me?”
“Keep reading.”
Kenya did as Natalia asked and read to the end.
“This is a bunch of crap!” Lu exclaimed.
“There are twenty-two of them in all.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! Twenty-two letters? About what?” Kenya asked.
“About how much she loves him and wants him. And about how he made a mistake in marrying me. I read every one of them and I crumbled.”
“Why didn’t you tell us? You should’ve called us the moment you found them. We should’ve been here with you reading every single word with you .”
“You both have your own stuff.”
“Excuse me, ma’am,” Kenya started on her tangent. “Remember when I lost Glen and you all but cursed me out because I was trying to deal with it alone?”
“I remember.” She already knew it was coming.
“ ‘ You can’t do this alone ,’ you said. ‘ You have friends to help you through it. We’re sisters. ’ ”
“I remember. And you’re right.” Natalia sighed. “I was just in so much pain after reading the letters, I didn’t even know what I was feeling or how to express it to you.”
“I can only imagine how you felt, honey,” Lu said. “Had to be pretty devastating.”
“I really want to get my hands on Angelina.” Kenya locked her fingers together and made a strangling motion. “Home wrecker!”
“She never stopped loving him. The letters are dated back as far as when we first got married. Makes me question everything. Like if he ever loved me at all.”
“Of course he loved you— loves you .” Kenya folded the letter and stuffed it back into the envelope.
“Maybe I should just stay here instead of going to California,” said Lu. “You need me here.”
“Oh no, no, no. Absolutely not! You have to go to California,” Natalia said.
“I don’t mind staying here to help you through this,” Lu said matter-of-factly. “I can always go later.”
“I’ll be fine. Plus, Kenya will be here.”
“Yes, Lu, you have to go. Meeting your father and your siblings, that’s important,” Kenya chimed in.
“You don’t know how much time your father has, and if you don’t go, you’ll regret it,” Natalia said.
“But I’m so worried about you right now.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for making you worry—making you both worry. I should’ve been honest at dinner the other night. I should’ve just told you the truth, that Nic has no intention of coming home anytime soon.”
“Sisterhood is about transparency, and about being honest with one another. We can’t be here for you if we don’t know what’s going on. You never have to go this alone, Nat Pack.” Kenya called her by the nickname she’d given her after they’d first become friends. She plopped down onto Natalia’s bed. “Not when you have us.”
Kenya’s words caused her to feel the guilt of keeping Glen’s illness a secret; caused her knees to buckle as she plopped down on the bed to break the fall. “I know.”
“So, what’s next? What are you going to do?” Lu asked.
“I don’t know what to do .”
“I think you should tell him that you’ve read the letters. Give him an opportunity to explain himself,” Kenya said.
“I agree. He’s over there with that woman, knowing full well that she’s still in love with him. I want to just choke him.” Lu clasped her hands together this time.
“You need to know what his intentions are.” Kenya was always the levelheaded one. When the world was falling apart, she always managed to bring things back into focus.
“That’s the part that scares me. What if his intentions are to stay there—to be with her? What do we do about the marriage—this house . . . our finances?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did he tell you that he’s not coming back?” Kenya asked.
“No, but . . .”
“Then let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Start with a conversation. Tell him that you found the letters and give him a chance to explain,” said Kenya.
“You’re right.”
“One step at a time, honey.” Lu smiled at Natalia.
“I love you both.” Natalia pulled them both in for a group hug. “I felt like I was going to die earlier today. But I feel better already.”
“We love you,” Lu said.
“I love you, but don’t you ever suffer alone, ever again,” said Kenya. “Promise us.”
“I promise.”
“When one of us hurts, we all hurt,” Lu chimed in.
“Exactly.”
“Now, let’s go down to the kitchen and see what we can whip up, because I know you haven’t eaten,” Kenya said.
“Maybe we can just head over to the inn and I’ll have Lorenzo cook you something before he leaves for the night.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Natalia said.
“Get dressed. We’ll be downstairs,” Lu told her.
When Lu and Kenya left the room, Natalia exhaled. She plopped down on the edge of the bed for a moment. Less than an hour before, her world had been turned upside down. It was still a bit topsy-turvy, but at least she had her girls there to keep it steady.