Chapter 27
27
‘I was beginning to think you’d got lost,’ Sarah said as Jade strolled back into reception, having waved goodbye to Ursula, who’d said she’d promised to help with the cattery clean, and disappeared up the yard. Three cats had gone off to new homes today. It was a bumper rehoming day, and the cattery block would be deep cleaned in preparation for the next arrivals.
‘Ursula was teaching me the names of all the plants that grow over at the duck pond,’ Jade told Sarah. ‘Not that I’ve got a hope in hell of remembering them all. That woman is like a walking encyclopaedia.’
‘Did she know the whereabouts of any cute little tight roping dormice?’ Sarah quipped. ‘Or chatterbox toads ready to mate?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I’ve decided I’m not going down that route,’ Jade said firmly. ‘Fun as it would have been to go camping with you… although… we could still go camping and discuss wedding plans, if you like?’ She laughed at Sarah’s horrified expression.
‘It’s impossible to drag Ben away from that flaming fox,’ Sarah said quickly. ‘I mean, I would have loved to go camping otherwise. Obvs.’
‘Sure you would.’ Jade laughed with her. She was feeling a lightness she hadn’t felt for weeks. Was it really possible that she didn’t have to worry about the development any more?
Ursula had said she was unlikely to hear anything very quickly. Planning applications and surveys and anything to do with planning took ages, but it certainly looked as though she could be cautiously optimistic. Ursula had told her she’d keep her posted and let her know the minute there was any news.
She hadn’t said ‘any news’. She’d actually said ‘any developments’, and they’d both laughed at this as Ursula had added a swift rider that hopefully there definitely wouldn’t be any of those for a while.
Jade had decided it would be wise to keep quiet about the death knell of a survey. It wouldn’t look good for Ursula if it was ever discovered that Jade had any prior knowledge.
But this was a secret Jade didn’t mind keeping. It wasn’t a secret that could hurt anyone she cared about.
‘How do you feel about doing a protest then?’ Sarah said, interrupting Jade’s thoughts. ‘We could get some placards and march up and down in the field. “Save our green spaces.”’
‘Not many people are going to spot us in that field, are they?’
‘OK, the road then. Although it is a bit busy, that road. Maybe we should march up and down outside the planning office in Salisbury.’
‘Or maybe we should just accept that sometimes things are going to happen, whether we like it or not.’
Sarah looked at her carefully. ‘Ursula did say something, didn’t she? You’re far too laid back about all this. What’s going on?’
Fortunately Mr Spock chose that moment to burst into another rendition of ‘Here Comes the Bride’, and at the same moment, Zack came in with a sack over his shoulder.
‘Evening, Jade, I just got this. Some of the kids at school did a fundraiser at the summer fete. It’s bird food.’
‘Not much of a fundraiser if they only got one sack of food,’ Sarah called across to him. ‘What was it? A sponsored silence or something?’
He laughed good naturedly. ‘They raised enough money for twenty sacks of animal feed. This is just one of them. The rest are in the back of Dad’s car.’
‘Good grief,’ Jade said. ‘Thanks. That’ll last us ages.’
‘We didn’t just get chicken food, that’s good for the geese too – I checked – we got dog and cat biscuits, and some horse feed. All the usual stuff you buy. We didn’t want to leave anyone out.’
‘That’s so brilliant, Zack. Thank you.’ Jade felt a rush of warmth towards the big-hearted teenager. He was definitely one of the good guys. ‘I think we’d better put the sacks straight into the feed room. I’ll come and give you a hand.’
She went to help him do it, and by the time she came back, Sarah had tracked down Ben and, much to Jade’s relief, seemed to have forgotten that she’d been midway through interrogating Jade.
‘We’d better get off,’ Sarah told Jade. ‘But thank you again for having him. Ben, have you said goodbye to your dad?’
‘He has,’ Finn said, coming into reception. ‘When are we going to see you again then, Ben?’
‘Tomorrow!’ Ben shouted gleefully.
‘Not tomorrow,’ Sarah corrected. ‘We’ve got to get you some new school shoes, you know we have.’
‘Do I have to go? Can’t you get them?’
‘You know I can’t, love. You’ve got to try them on.’
Ben pouted. ‘I don’t. My feet haven’t even growed for ages.’
‘If they hadn’t growed – grown,’ Sarah corrected herself, ‘then you wouldn’t even need new shoes, would you?’
‘They haven’t. They’re the same.’ Ben’s voice was getting louder. He’d got that mutinous look on his face that they all knew so well.
Finn and Jade exchanged ‘who’d have kids?’ glances. Then Jade said softly, ‘Carmelita’s going to be ready for release soon, Ben. So the next time we see you, maybe you could help with that. If you’ve been good and your mum agrees.’
Sarah shot her a grateful look. ‘Did you hear that? Auntie Jade said, only if you’re good.’
‘I can be good. I can be very, very good.’ Ben’s expression changed from a scowl to a smile in seconds. He was so mercurial, Jade thought, not for the first time. He reminded her so much of his mother, who’d always changed her mood like the wind when she’d been younger.
‘Right then, shoes tomorrow, and we’ll see about Carmelita.’ Sarah held out her hand to Ben, and after a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one important was looking, he took it.
‘OK, Mum.’ He beamed like an angel.
When they left, Jade saw that Finn was still smiling. ‘Bless his little cotton socks. I wasn’t as feisty as him when I was that age. I was way more serious and quieter.’
‘Sarah wasn’t. She was as anti-authority as they came. She’d kick out at anyone who told her what to do. She’d argue red was blue if a teacher said the opposite. I used to think it was because she’d started life in a children’s home, but now I’m beginning to think it’s genetic.’
She regretted using the word genetic as soon as she’d said it, because she saw the flash of pain in Finn’s eyes.
‘Still no news from Thomas then?’ she asked him gently.
He hadn’t mentioned Bridie lately, or anything else about his quest to track down his mother, and Jade hadn’t liked to bring it up.
Finn shook his head. ‘No. I never did ring him back. But it’s been more than two weeks. If he was going to call back, he would have done by now, wouldn’t he?’
There was no one else in reception now, and Jade went across to him and hugged him. ‘The waiting must be torture, Finn. Would it not be better to just phone him and see what the score is?’
‘I probably should have done that already, but the longer I’ve left it, the harder it’s got.’ He put his arms around her too, and kissed her. ‘I don’t know, Jade. I’m thinking it might be too late now. But it’s fine. Honestly. There was always a chance she wouldn’t want to know.’ He paused. ‘Shall I go and lock up or is it too early?’
‘It’s not too early.’ She ached for him. It was so hard watching him go through this. ‘I’ll just go and check everyone is off the premises, and then we can lock up. And then maybe we should open a bottle of wine and just chill out for the evening. Thanks for doing those adoption packs.’ She glanced at the pile on the table.
‘My pleasure. Wine sounds wonderful.’
An hour later they’d both showered, had a quiche and some salad and new potatoes that had been left over from the day before and they were sitting in the back room with a bottle of wine, half drunk, and a contented Mickey. He loved it when both his humans were in the same place.
Jade wasn’t sure whether to bring the subject of Bridie and Thomas back up. Finn looked so relaxed now; maybe she should just leave it until he mentioned it. She asked him about the art exhibition instead, which was getting closer now.
‘Are you getting excited? Does it seem real yet?’
‘I mostly try not to think about it, to be honest. And I think I’m doing quite well apart from the fact I have the occasional nightmare.’
‘Oh? What kind of nightmare?’
He sipped his wine. ‘Crazy stuff. There’s the one where no one turns up, and I’m just standing there by my paintings on my own, forcing myself to smile.’
‘Oh, Finn, that’s definitely not going to happen.’
‘It’s not that likely. Because there will be other artists’ work there too.’ He blinked. ‘Then there’s the one where there’s a flood and all the paintings are being washed away down the main High Street. That’s nasty.’ He took another sip of his wine. ‘And then there’s the one where I arrive at the town hall and find the place is all boarded up, even the windows, and there’s this guy in a bowler hat, standing by the door, who tells me it’s been like that for years. But they used to have exhibitions there once.’
‘Bloody hell, they’re horrible, honey. Why didn’t you tell me before?’
‘Because I know they’re nonsense. Just a byproduct of my crazy brain. It’s just nerves, isn’t it? I never thought I’d be in this position. I never thought it was possible that people would want to buy my work.’
‘But loads of people have bought your work.’
‘I always thought they were just being nice, and it’s hard to get that belief out of my head. My subconscious head anyway.’ He bent forward and filled up their glasses. ‘I know it sounds crazy.’
Jade leaped off the sofa where she’d been sitting and went across to the wall where the painting called Hope hung.
‘Finn, I know I’m not any kind of expert, but this is so beautiful. It draws you into the landscape, but it doesn’t just do that, it makes you feel something. It’s the same thing I feel when I hear an amazing piece of music. It hits me like an ice pick in the heart.’
‘That doesn’t sound so good, I have to say.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘It sounds bloody painful.’
‘It is but in a good way. I’m not explaining this very well.’ She clasped her hands together and screwed up her face in frustration. ‘I’m not any kind of critic, I don’t know the right words. But it’s deep. It’s deep and it’s brilliant.’
‘Deep and brilliant will do me.’ He got up and came to stand beside her. ‘I do love you, Jade Foster. I can’t wait to marry you.’
He put his arms around her, and she turned towards him and looked into his eyes.
‘I can’t wait to marry you either. I can’t wait to have your babies.’ She clapped her hand over her mouth. ‘Shit. I don’t even know where that came from. It just slipped out.’
‘You meant it though, didn’t you?’
She could feel his eyes and she knew her face was burning. ‘We’ve never really discussed babies, have we?’
‘No, but I’d love more children. Is there something you’re not telling me?’ He stood back from her slightly, studying her face.
‘No, I’m not pregnant.’ She felt flustered. It was weird but until that moment she hadn’t really thought about being pregnant either. Was that true? Sometimes when she looked at Ben, she longed for a child.
‘There are lots of good reasons not to get pregnant either,’ she continued. ‘No maternity leave, several dozen animals to look after… Huge disruption to our lives.’ She counted them off on her fingers.
‘They’re not good reasons, not with two of us on the case. We’d cope.’ He looked much keener on the idea than she’d anticipated. Jade felt warmed.
She longed for a family and she longed for her and Finn to be a unit and to live happily ever after, even though she’d never really believed in happy ever after.
Like Finn, she’d never dared to hope that happy ever afters might be possible.
Now, standing here in his arms, she felt that they might be. What with Ursula’s news and the news that Finn was as keen on the idea of extending his family as she was, all things suddenly felt possible.