Chapter 19
DAISY A Whole Passel
I used to watch Full House a lot, and I always wished for a family like that. Big and loud and full of mishaps and love. I feel guilty thinking that now, that I wished for something different, because I love my dad so much, and I am so aware of how much he sacrificed to be everything for me.
But being with the Thaysdens felt a little like Full House. And I knew I had to be super careful to keep my feelings for Mason’s family separate from my feelings for him. I couldn’t fall in love with a family, even if it was tempting.
Now, I stood behind Amelia in the most adorable pink bedroom overlooking the sound. She was saying, “We keep extras of the twins’ favorite stuffed animal—this is Cloud—in this drawer in case one gets misplaced because they can’t sleep without them.”
“That is very, very smart.”
Amelia nodded. “I did a freelance piece for Parenting magazine around the time I got pregnant with the twins, and that was one of the expert tips.”
She walked to the closet. “This shelf has all the emergency items in case they get sick. Humidifier, vitamins, sore throat pops.”
I marveled at the organization in this house, but that wasn’t what I was actually thinking about. I was thinking I knew who the beautiful woman in the frame on Greer’s nightstand was, but it was nosy to ask.
“Amelia, you are Super Mom. It is so clean!”
She smiled. “Well, we have to stay organized to keep it all together.” She cleared her throat. “And… their after-school sitter is an organizing ninja. This is all her. I’m a little afraid of her. She scolds me if I don’t put a thermometer up properly.”
I laughed. “Well, the good news is that we’re going to be just fine, and no one is going to get sick. But, if they do, I know just how to handle it, and have every tool known to man color coded and labeled.”
Amelia sighed. “You are such a godsend. Seriously. Miss Pat, our everyday sitter, is a little older, and she doesn’t feel confident with overnights. And the pearl twins are wonderful grandmothers, but they cannot comprehend that I don’t want my children raised on Pop-Tarts and Coke.”
I laughed. “I get it. Don’t worry. I will feed them well and keep them on schedule.”
She walked back over to Greer’s dresser to show me how to work the sleep machine—as if I couldn’t have figured that out—giving me the perfect opportunity to say, “Maybe it’s none of my business, but the woman in the frame…”
“Oh, that’s Greer,” Amelia said offhandedly. Yup. That’s what I thought. Then she laughed. “Wait. Sorry. Greer is Parker’s first wife.”
I bit my lip wondering if I was betraying him, then decided I wasn’t, and said, “Yeah. Mason mentioned that you had named Greer for her, and I just think that’s so big of you. I mean, wow. What an incredible thing to do.”
Amelia studied me for a minute. “So I guess he didn’t tell you why we did that?”
I shook my head.
“I’m really not that selfless. It’s just that Greer and George are Greer and Parker’s biological children.”
I squinted.
“They froze embryos before Greer died. I couldn’t have children—primary ovarian insufficiency—and so we used their frozen embryos.”
My jaw dropped, and I wished it hadn’t.
“It’s a much longer story. I was actually just going to be Parker’s surrogate.”
I gasped. “And then you fell in love?”
She smiled. “And then we fell in love.”
I had chills. “That is just beautiful, Amelia. I mean, wow.” I paused. “And, man, I wish I had been there when you told Elizabeth and Olivia that you were going to be Parker’s surrogate.”
We giggled like longtime girlfriends.
“The lecture heard round the world!” she said. “But it all worked out just like they wanted in the end, so they have very little to complain about.”
I nodded. “I should say so. Best friends’ kids get married. It’s the dream!”
“Totally. And Parker’s ex-father-in-law—the kids’ biological grandfather—will be here for Easter, so maybe you can meet him too. Just another layer in our family salad.”
On impulse, I hugged her. I felt like an idiot. I pulled back, and she laughed. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I just love this family so much. You guys are so special. This is the kind of family I dreamed about being a part of.”
“Vaguely related, so when they do something crazy, you can say, ‘Well, they aren’t blood’?” Amelia joked. “It’s a disaster. But it’s our disaster. You know?”
I nodded furiously. “Yes! I never got to be a part of an ‘our disaster.’ ”
“So what was your family like?”
I shrugged. “It was really just my dad and me. My mom left when I was thirteen. My dad had one brother, but he never married or had kids. I always wanted chaos.”
“Well, honey, you have come to the right place.”
Three hours later, feeding Maisy in the nursery, I thought about that conversation.
I had always wanted to get married young and have lots of kids.
But I hadn’t found the right man, and while thirty-four wasn’t old by any stretch, it was old enough that I probably wasn’t going to find my soulmate, marry him, and have the four or five kids I really wanted—unless I had twins… That would be efficient.
Maisy stared up at me, her mile-long eyelashes getting heavy. “Those aren’t productive thoughts, are they, little girl? We get what we get in life, right? And if I don’t get a whole passel of children, then so be it.”
Now, I wondered what was going to happen to this precious baby. Who would be the family lucky enough to raise her? And would they take good care of her? I knew she wouldn’t remember me, of course, but I would never forget her.
The door to the nursery opened, and Allison Scotland swished through.
She was one of our local Department of Social Services social workers, and I wouldn’t have traded jobs with her for all the corn in the county.
I hadn’t been here long, but I had already heard stories of abuse, neglect, drug-addicted parents, kids not ever even being enrolled in school…
Of course, there were great stories too.
Children placed with forever families, foster parents who were literally heroes.
On both ends, Allison’s work was so important.
“So, I hear our girl is close to busting out of here, huh?” Allison and I had already discovered that we were the same age.
We had made plans for drinks. She was a pocket-sized brunette with a round face and serious glasses that added up to a very striking woman.
I couldn’t explain it. You just wanted to look at her even if she wasn’t magazine beautiful.
I held Maisy close to me. “I don’t want her to leave.”
Allison laughed.
“I’m sorry. That’s not what I mean, of course. I want her out of the hospital, but I just can’t imagine not getting to see her sweet face every day.”
“Oh, I get it,” she said. “But look, we tend to hear the horror stories. We don’t hear the great ones. And a healthy baby girl is going to get adopted in no time. Everyone is going to want her—assuming her parents don’t come back for her.”
“Did you hear that, Maisy?” I asked as she sucked the bottle. “You’re the most popular girl in town.”
“Did you call her Maisy?” Allison asked.
“Sorry. Long story. I know she’s supposed to be Jane.”
“Well, she’ll probably end up as something else entirely, so you call her whatever you want. Cute name. Reminds me of a Dr. Seuss book.”
I looked down at my Maisy again. I thought about what her life could be like, full of opportunity.
She would get adopted by a family with lots of kids who would take her on great vacations and send her to college.
She would never struggle; she would never hurt.
I was happy for her. And it didn’t take a therapist to figure out why I was so attached to her.
I had failed a patient. It made sense that I’d want to save this one.
“So, I guess we’ll start preparing to get her in the foster system and—”
Without thinking about it at all, I exclaimed, “I want to foster her!”
Allison’s eyes widened. “Well, Daisy, that’s sweet, but there’s a lot that goes into that.”
“No, no. I’m certified to be a foster parent. For situations just like this.” I smiled brightly. “I mean, if she has some extra medical necessities moving forward…” I trailed off. I knew she wouldn’t. This girl was healthy as a horse.
“That’s a good point,” Allison said. “But it’s like a week from now. Are you sure you can be ready by then?”
I thought about how I’d be at the Thaysdens’ for four nights, about how I didn’t so much as have a picture hung on the wall of my new place, much less a baby’s room ready.
What was I thinking? I couldn’t do this.
My rational mind knew that. But my mouth blurted out, “Oh, sure. I’ll be totally ready. ”
“We’d have to do a home visit, like, tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Tomorrow afternoon maybe?”
“Sure,” she said. “And, Daisy, what would you do about day care while you’re working?”
“I mean, I can get her into day care as fast as any other foster parent, right?”
“Yes, but some of them stay at home.”
Ah. Yes. I started to feel panicked by the idea of Maisy being with anyone else. These were hurdles, yes. But I could figure this out.
I squinted at Allison. “How does that work exactly?”
“You make the arrangements; the state pays for the care.”
“Uh-huh,” I said. “Well, that’s not a problem.”
Allison made a note on her clipboard. “You know I can’t guarantee placement with you, Daisy. But I’ll see what I can do.”
“So… do I just get the room ready for her and then we’ll see?”
Allison nodded. “Yeah. We’ll do the home visit, and then we’ll see how it goes. But worst case, you’d be prepared for the next one, right?”
How could I say that I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from this one?
My mind was racing. I didn’t have the thousands of dollars it would take to run out and buy all new baby stuff.
And I didn’t have any friends to speak of to help me.
I knew my dad would come, but it wasn’t like he had a bunch of baby stuff stored away.
I could go to secondhand shops, but by the time I got off work, they’d all be closed, and who knew what I could scrounge together from them anyway?
I tried to look confident as I said goodbye to Allison. “No drinks tonight!” I joked as she walked away.
I looked down at Maisy, trying to temper the excitement welling up.
This was crazy. But I had to remind myself, it was also short term.
As Allison said, she would be adopted in no time.
I would just be there to make sure she was safe and secure and happy while she waited.
That was good enough. It had to be. I wasn’t married.
I wasn’t living in my pretty house that I would have my family in.
I couldn’t have a baby. Could I? As I pulled Maisy up on my shoulder to burp her, I thought about all there was to do.
And, suddenly, I knew exactly who to call.