Chapter 44 Daisy - A Day of Miracles #2
I didn’t appreciate it.
She stood too, taking my cue. “Daisy, could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? I know this has been impossible for you, but I swear it has ruined my life too.”
Anger rose in me. Here she was with her new husband and her new kid and her new family. Her life did not seem ruined. But it was Easter. And I wanted to be happy. So, I placated her so this could be over. “Sure, Julie. I can forgive you.”
I was lying. She hugged me, and I gave her a half-hearted hug back.
And, this time, I didn’t so much as breathe, didn’t give her a chance for those mother pheromones to sink in and make me love her even more.
She wiped her eyes, and I could tell that, in her mind, this was all solved.
A lifetime of my broken heart had just been washed away by a lame-ass apology with an explanation that was even worse than I had imagined.
Well, I was happy for her. And, really, not much had changed for me.
Only, now, in Cape Carolina, I’d have to see her all the time.
I knew I would have to find a way to move forward in that reality.
I ushered that woman out the door, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and focused on the sun on my face, the chirping birds.
I looked down at the baby whose carrier I was holding and made a vow.
“I will never, ever leave you,” I whispered.
“I would never let anyone take you away from me. No matter what.”
I knew in that moment that I would fight tooth and nail to protect Maisy, would sacrifice anything so that she never had to spend one second of her life wondering why her mother didn’t love her enough to stay.
When I pulled into Dogwood three minutes later, Mason was waiting. He kissed me quickly before extricating Maisy from her car seat.
She was dressed in a blue bubble outfit with pink bunnies embroidered on it that one of the soccer moms had given me. She looked absolutely adorable. “Maisy! You’re so grown-up!” he said. “You’re like twice as big as when I saw you a few days ago!”
He kissed me again, this time longer, like it wasn’t just a passing thought. “You’re doing a really good job.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m glad you think so because, let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy.”
Situating Maisy in one arm, he put the other around me.
And, for just a moment, I could pretend that this was how it always was, that we were a mommy, a daddy, and a baby.
But I knew assigning that role to either of the people beside me was dangerous.
Mason wasn’t my husband. He wasn’t Maisy’s father.
And she, as much as I wanted to make that happen, was not my daughter.
“Hey,” he said, looking down at me. “You okay?”
“Julie just showed up to say her piece and give her apologies.” I shook my head.
“So… doesn’t sound like you feel all better.”
I took a deep breath. “You know what? I don’t want to ruin my day with her.” To that end, I said, “How did the scouting meeting go with UNC?”
Mason stopped and looked at me. “Um, what do you mean? Why? What have you heard?”
That was a really weird response, so I figured it hadn’t gone well. “Oh, gosh. I’m sorry if it’s a sore subject. I haven’t heard anything. I just…”
Mason looked relieved and said, “Oh no. It went awesome. Drew signed with them!”
“So then why are you acting so weird?”
Mason took a deep breath and let it out. “I guess I’m just having a harder time than I imagined letting him go. You know, he’s kind of my protégé, and it’s hard to think of him being gone.”
That was sweet. He was so invested in these kids.
“So, um, Mason…” I turned to look at him. “Look, I have to tell you the truth about something.” He blanched, and I felt immediately guilty. “I, um, I don’t want to just foster Maisy. I think I’d like to adopt her.”
Mason looked down at the baby and then at me, and I swear his face got even whiter. “Oh, wow. I just… Wow.”
So, yes, I had hoped somewhere deep in my heart of hearts that Mason would say, “Oh, yay! Let’s get married and be a family!” But I had known better than to expect that. So I tried not to let my disappointment show.
“Gosh, Daisy. Are you sure? I mean, that’s kind of a big commitment.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, yeah, Mason. It is. But I just know she’s supposed to be mine. You know what I mean?”
He smiled in earnest now and looked down at her again. “You know, Dais, I do. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes an opportunity comes along, and you just have to seize it. Not think so much. On that note—”
“Hey, wait,” I said. I knew I was interrupting him, and I didn’t want to be rude. But this was important. “Maisy will be put up for adoption if her parents don’t come forward in sixty days. And, so, in order for me to adopt her, it would be better if…”
He rubbed his chin. “Drew never knew so he can’t come forward,” Mason filled in for me.
“So, I guess what I’m asking…”
Mason studied my face. Then he let out a little laugh. “Seriously, Daisy? You want me to know that Drew has a kid, and you want me to keep it from him? So that you get what you want?”
His tone wasn’t harsh. But his words weren’t kind either. “You make it sound so conniving.”
He blew out his breath. I thought about Julie. I thought about my life as an abandoned girl, about this new realization that she had never even adopted me. And that steeled something inside of me. I was the only one who could protect Maisy.
“Look, do you want her in the foster system for the rest of her life? Because the options here aren’t great.”
I was fudging that a little. There was still a chance I’d get to adopt Maisy.
There was still a chance I’d get chosen.
But there was also a chance that, if Drew knew, he’d want to be involved.
What if he and Sarah decided to put off college to raise the baby?
Or their parents stepped up to raise her?
I couldn’t bear the thought of that. And, sure, maybe that was selfish.
But I couldn’t really see it that way, not when I felt so connected to this baby.
They had been the ones to not even know their daughter and girlfriend was pregnant.
Sarah had been the one to leave her for dead in a dumpster.
I didn’t think anyone could blame me for not wanting her to be in their care.
I would love her the way she deserved to be loved.
Mason shook his head. “Look, Dais, I know you’re coming from a good place, and she would be so lucky to get to have you as her mother. But you have to give me a minute here. I can’t just promise you that I’m going to deceive one of my favorite people in the world for the rest of his life.”
“Okay, right, but, like, in a few months you might not even ever see Drew again.”
So, no, I didn’t just love this color coming out in me.
That was a horrible thing to say. “I didn’t mean it like that.
I’m sorry. I’m so sleep-deprived that I’m not sure who I am.
” But it wasn’t lack of sleep. This was something else.
And, if I’d really examined it, I would have been concerned.
Instead, I kept talking. “Look, I think I just am so attached to Maisy and the idea of this family and—”
Mason nodded and cut me off. “Look, Daisy, about my never seeing Drew again—”
“Kids!” a voice rang out. “There you are!” Aunt Tilley scrambled toward us, and I couldn’t help but smile. Sure, we were in a tense moment, but no one was quite as disarming as she was. “Soup’s on!”
It was one of those endearing Southern phrases that, as I hugged her, as she pulled me inside, as I witnessed the massive display of food on the table, I couldn’t help but realize was a huge misnomer. This was not soup. This was… well, this was every food you could possibly imagine.
Amelia cried out, “Why, Mason Thaysden, I never thought I’d see the day!” as he paraded in with Maisy.
He smiled like he had won a prize. Then he whispered in my ear, “You’re right. It’s our job to protect Maisy. I’m in.”
I’m in. In on what? Keeping my secret? Going along with the plan?
Or was he in in a bigger way? Did he want to raise her with me?
Be a family? As Mason paraded the baby around, showing her off and introducing her to each of his family members, I couldn’t help but imagine that this time next year, Maisy and I just might be at this very same table.
But that, by then, we might be Thaysdens too.