Chapter Thirty
Summer
“Where are you going?”
Eva sits on the end of the bed, a wide-eyed look on her face.
“I honestly don’t know.”
I smile back, throwing the very few items I have into a bag,
“Will you be back?”
“Of course I will.”
I halt, giving her a reassuring smile.
“What’s going on?”
Pamela strides in, armed with coffee and breakfast.
“She’s leaving us.”
Eva dramatically throws her hands in the air playfully.
“Hardly, they just want to fuck in private.”
She grins, and Eva’s jaw falls open. “Come on, they’re engaged.”
“Is there a wedding date?”
“Eva, it’s been barely twelve hours. Strangely enough I’ve had other things on my mind.”
I look to her, quirking a brow.
“Yeah.”
Pam nods. “Dick.”
She mutters before jumping on to the bed. Rifling through my bag, she holds out my panties. “Shall we go shopping for something more…”
“Hot,”
Eva chimes in, a mock disgusted look across her face.
“Appealing,”
Pam replies, wiggling her eyebrows, a grin spreading wide across her delicate face. Her eyes glimmer with mischief.
“You know you can both fuck off,”
I say jokingly, snatching my underwear from Pam and stuffing it back into the bag.
“Does this mean…”
Eva looks away for a moment. “We won’t be friends anymore?”
I blink a couple times, Pam shuffles down the bed and I sit on the other side. Taking Eva’s hand in mine.
“Why would we not be friends now?” I ask.
“Well…the whole way we met. And now, it’s over? I don’t know, I guess it all feels really odd.”
Eva shakes her head.
“I think you guys are the closest thing I’ve had to family, never mind friends. What we’ve been through, yeah, it’s pretty messed up but it doesn’t end here.” I smile.
“Really?”
Eva’s smile brightens.
“Really.”
Pam throws her arm around us both and we pull together.
“I need my bridesmaids around me.”
I raise a brow. “Oh and my girls close by when I vomit at my bachelorette.”
“Oh strippers!”
Eva claps her hands.
“Not a fucking chance.”
Our necks snap towards the door to see the boys all hovering in the doorway. Bhodi’s eyes home in on mine immediately. A warning glare being shot in my direction.
I look to Jimmy who awkwardly looks away when Eva looks towards him. Her bright smile unable to pull one from him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand there’s feelings there, but Jimmy is a gentleman, maybe not the same outward dominance that both Bhodi and Axe exude, but both Bhodi and I have seen how he looks towards her. They’re complete opposites but I love the idea either way, they’re two wonderful people that deserve their happiness, if they choose to explore that.
“Ready to go?”
Bhodi steps forward, holding his hand out to me before pulling me from the bed and throwing my bag over his shoulder.
“Sure.” I smile.
“Stay out of trouble.”
He winks to both Axe and Jimmy who just roll their eyes, both pulling me into a quick hug as Bhodi leads me to the car.
He takes my hand in his, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Stepping inside the elevator, my body leans against his, inhaling his scent before craning my neck to look to him.
“Where are we going anyway?”
“It’s not too far.”
“Where?”
“You’ll see.”
He winks at me. Stepping out of the elevator, he takes my hand and leads me towards the car.
Opening the door for me, I slide in and pull the belt across my body. Resting into the seat, I catch sight of my giddy smile. Running my fingers across my lips I lean in closer to the mirror, observing the smile I haven’t seen for so long. Genuine happiness, excitement and peace. Bhodi slides into the car, his broad build filling the seat and the leather engulfing him entirely.
“Ready?” He asks.
Wetting my lips slightly, I reach for the belt and unclick it. Moving with precision, I slide from my seat onto his lap, my nails running through his hair, clutching tight and pulling his lips to mine. Our bodies mould together in the seat, my pussy already grinding against his growing cock. When his tongue sweeps against mine, I arch closer towards him and his strong hands glide over my hips, rising higher over my torso and seeking out my tender nipples and his thumbs begin to circle gently.
“Oh.”
A small moan escapes my lips and I feel his smile against mine.
“As much as I’d love to fuck you, right now. I really want to get the fuck out of this city.”
“OK.” I grin.
Sliding back into my seat, Bhodi switches on the engine and we soon begin to move. The car glides out of the parking lot and heads into the busy streets. I steal glances his way every now and then, my smile becoming wider and wider each time. Reaching over, he pulls my hand towards his lips, and holds my hand through the entire drive.
Eventually the city begins to fade away, the morning sun shines bright and the sky a beautiful pastel shade of blue and pink. The greenery becomes vast, trees line the road and soon cars become less frequent. The constant roar of the city eventually subsides, the frantic chaos dies off and we glide into the wilderness.
I feel a gentle nudge on my shoulder, I jump and my eyes finally turn towards Bhodi, he smiles.
“You fell asleep.”
I blink a couple times; my gaze moves towards the windscreen. A large cabin, surrounded by woods. The picturesque property sits on a vast space of green, the bright sun shines down heavily on the property. No skyscraper, taxi or person in sight.
“Where are we?”
I ask, unable to tear my eyes away from the beautiful sight.
“Just a few hours from the city.”
Bhodi says, swinging open the car door and making his way to mine.
Pulling the door open, he takes my hand, eagerly pulling me towards the front door. The porch creaks under our footsteps. Sliding the key into the door, a smell of firewood and cinnamon immediately floods my senses. Stepping directly into a warm inviting living room, the large stone fireplace sits directly in front of me with a thick fluffy rug and a pile of firewood stacked in the corner.
Bhodi pulls the dust sheets from the sofa and proceeds to light the fire, gently stacking the wood on top of one another before turning to me.
“Wine?” he asks.
“Uh…sure.” I smile.
Dropping the bags near the door, he quickly disappears down the hall. I find myself being pulled towards the warm fire. Dropping to my knees, my palms lay flat against the soft fur rug, the growing flames beginning to lick higher and the warmth spreading across my face. A glass of wine soon appears in my periphery, which I gladly accept.
“Thank you.”
I take a sip, setting back onto my knees but can still feel Bhodi next to me. Looking up towards him, I smile. “You OK?”
I pinch my brows and he looks away for a moment, a hand running across his jaw as his smile slides from his face. A few seconds pass and he finally looks back towards me, a hesitation falls between us, and I soon rise to my feet, placing my glass by the fire and lace my arms around his waist. I tug him close, trying to break him out of the trance I see his mind guiding him towards. After a moment of looking into my pleading eyes, he forces a smile and runs his fingers through my hair.
“Feels weird, you know?”
He shrugs.
“Being alone?”
“No, well yeah. More it feels weird…not having a target on our backs.”
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened, Bhodi?”
I soften my voice.
“One day soon, I’ll explain. But right now, I don’t want to poison our lives with that shit. We’re safe, you’re safe and that’s all that matters to me.”
“OK.”
I slowly nod, pulling him close to me.
His hands roam up and down my back. I feel the peacefulness begin to truly fall over us, the subtle noises from the wind outside, the bird noises in the trees and the gentle crackle of the fire.
“Hungry?”
Before I can answer, my stomach rumbles. I hold my hand over it to stifle the loud groan. The heat rushes to my cheeks and a quick laugh escapes my throat.
“Shit, sorry.”
“Come on, let’s cook.”
Taking my hand, Bhodi guides me into the kitchen.
Pulling out a barstool, I hop into the seat, propping my below onto the breakfast bar. The rustic wood complementing the cabin’s warm cosy aesthetic. Reaching over for a fresh wine glass, I begin to pour two glasses and slide one over to Bhodi. When he turns to face me, I halt in my seat.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
he asks, looking me up and down.
“What?”
I glance around, unsure what I’m doing wrong.
“You’re helping.”
He smirks. “Get your great ass out of that seat.”
Sliding from the chair, I playfully nudge him and he slides the chopping board towards me. Bhodi stands next to me and Frank Sinatra begins to play on the speaker near us. I feel my body begin to hum and sway as I dice the steak, and quickly I feel Bhodi’s eyes on me again. But this time when I turn, there’s a deeply warm yet sad smile on his face. Putting the knife down, I look to him.
“I always wanted this,”
he whispers. “I always wanted this moment.”
He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear, his eyes roaming my face and a sincerity in his voice. “You and I, music, wine, cooking. This is the most at peace I’ve ever felt and …I’m scared, Summer. I’m truly scared that this won’t be enough for you.”
My jaw falls open and I feel my heart sink into the depths of my stomach. Taking his face in my palms, my thumbs gently caress his cheeks. Rising to my tiptoes, I shake my head.
“Please don’t ever say that again,”
I plead. “Don’t question us, how much I love you. You saved me.”
I feel the emotions begin to wash over me. “You gave me my life back, both of you did. Bhodi, I can’t put into words the love I have for you, it’s impossible.”
“What if I’m too fucked up, Summer?”
he mumbles.
“Why would you be too fucked up?”
I ask, looking deep into his eyes.
“What if I can’t stop …killing people?”
I take a step back, my hand rubbing across the back of my neck. I feel my jaw rock from side to side, the seriousness of his question leaves a dark shadow over us. Pulling him by the hand back towards the crackling fire, I take a seat on the warm rug and tug Bhodi towards me. Resting my back into his chest, I take his hands in mine and let out a heavy sigh. My head gently rests on his shoulder, my fingertips gently running over his knuckles.
“We’ll deal with it when it happens, Bhodi, I can’t pretend to understand how you feel. You’ve all been doing this for so long now that…”
“That wasn’t the first time,”
he cuts me off.
I turn my body towards him, shooting him a questioning look. I feel the hairs on my body begin to rise. Something sinister in his tone changes the mood entirely, a darkness begins to cloud him.
“What do you mean?”
I ask, my body slowly pulling away from his. I sit cross legged, facing him and I swallow hard, waiting for the answer.
It feels like hours have passed, the light and warmth have been sucked from the room. I feel the divide between us growing, the distance pushing us further and further apart. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I cast my eyes down. Bhodi stands up and begins pacing slowly, an internal battle going on inside his head, one I’m not privy to and I can only watch with bated breath.
“I was sixteen, the first time I killed someone.”
The statement sends ice through my veins.
He continues back and forth. Interlinking his fingers, he places them at the back of his neck and stares towards the ceiling.
“Who?”
I watch him intently.
“Sam Buckley,”
he answers coldly, a venom in his tone.
“Your moms boyfriend?”
I sigh heavily, remembering the story he’d told me about a Sam who attacked him.
“He killed her…right in front of me.”
The statement sends me into a frenzy, I push to my feet and immediately pull Bhodi into my arms. His arms clutch onto my body so tight I feel him shake in my grasp and hot thick tears begin to fill my eyes.
“You don’t have to…”
“I do.”
He pulls away, swiping the tears from his cheeks. “I need to tell you, if I don’t I think it’ll fucking kill me.”
My brows pinch and I lead him towards the sofa. Taking a seat next to him, he pulls me onto his lap, holding me close as my head falls onto his chest. I hear the heavy thudding of his heartbeat and for a moment we just hold each other in complete silence. His mind working overtime, trying to word his confession in a way that doesn’t make me run.
“Bhodi, whatever you tell me. It won’t change how I feel about you.”
I lift my head and look into his eyes. “I’ll still want to marry you, spend my life with you.”
He briefly nods, blinking the tears from his eyes. “Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
The vulnerability in his eyes breaks my heart. Throwing my leg over his thigh, I straddle him. I wrap my arms around his neck, I hold him so close, my lips lower to his ear. “I promise, Bhodi, I will always love you,”
I whisper gently.
A few minutes pass and I eventually feel his body begin to relax. When I set myself back a little, he takes my hands in his and he holds them against my thighs.
“After Sam attacked me and left me with this scar.”
He gestures to the scar around his right eye. “Against Mrs Wayne’s protests and pleas about going to the police, I went home. I told her I had to, to look after mom, the house and keep her safe. Neither of them liked it, but they understood. The fights and violence continued on and off over the next couple years, eventually the police just stopped showing up. I begged mom to get him out of our lives but she was so strung out she didn’t care anymore. I became numb to it all, the shouting, the violence. I was barely at home but they didn’t notice, too busy getting high and then getting into fights.”
Bhodi looks away for a moment and towards the fire. I stroke my knuckles across his cheek, his eyes filled with a devastating trauma his mind wishes he could forget.
“It’s OK, I’m here,”
I whisper gently.
“I came home one day and Father Dudley was in the house, having coffee with Mom. He was based at the local church, it was the first time meeting him. I don’t know what he said but when he left, Mom was …so different.”
“How?”
“She tried to get clean. For the first time I can remember, she truly tried. She went to a local clinic to get some help. It was tough, but she did it and once she wasn’t dependent on heroin, Sam was gone. She kicked him out and refused to let him back in the house. For the first time ever, I really felt like I had a family.”
He smiles bitterly. “The smug smile on my face when she wouldn’t let him in, he tried kicking the door down, but I was so proud of her, she was so strong through it all.”
He lets out a deep sigh, watching my fingers gloss over his knuckles. I feel his hands begin to tremble and his grip on me tightens.
“He didn’t leave her alone, did he?”
“No.”
Bhodi subtly shakes his head, his voice barely audible. “Mom eventually got a job at a nearby grocery store, she was working the late shift and I used to meet her on her walk home about half way. I waited for her in our usual spot. After a few minutes I tried calling her but there was no answer. I began heading toward the store, it was dark out, the area was rough, and I was worried about her at that time of night. The manager was locking up and said she’d left about twenty minutes ago, so I headed home. When I finally made it into the street, I heard her cries first.”
“Oh, Bhodi.”
My hand flies to my mouth, tears already streaming down my cheeks.
“I ran as fast as I could towards the noise. When I finally got into our street, I saw someone trying to drag her into the house. I called out her name and the guy began to run off. I chased him, but he jumped into a waiting black BMW which sped off.”
He swallows hard. “I ran to Mom, but …I’d never seen so much blood. I cried out for anyone to help, I tried to stop the bleeding but…he’d stabbed her so many times. Everything began to go dark, it’s like I couldn’t hear my own voice anymore. I could see the life leaving her eyes, like a blankness began to wash over her. I looked around but even with everyone’s lights on, no one came out. Not one person came to my cries of help, we were just dysfunctional and broken to everyone around us.”
“Where were Mr and Mrs Wayne?”
“They’d gone out, it was their anniversary. They came home to police cars and an ambulance blocking the street. They pushed past the police to see me, they begged the police to let me stay with them, for the time being. It was the first time in a long time I truly felt like someone wanted me around.”
His jaw tics.
“And Sam?”
I hesitantly ask.
Bhodi lets out a sarcastic laugh, his hand running across his face. Anger flickers deep within his emerald irises.
“It was his car, him leaving the scene, running away like the sick coward he is,”
Bhodi spits out. “Hell, I could even smell his shit aftershave all over her clothes. The police brought him in for questioning, but conveniently he had an alibi…and his car was reported stolen earlier that day.”
Chewing on his bottom lip, the blank numb expression begins to shadow his face. “I told the police what I saw, but they didn’t feel a traumatised teenager was a solid witness and eventually they just put it down as a mugging gone wrong. A mugging,”
he scoffs. “Fifteen stab wounds, for a purse with maybe twenty dollars in it.”
“Bhodi, I…I’m so sorry,”
I murmur, my face burning with streaming tears, wiping them away with my drenched sleeve. “What happened?” I sniff.
Something truly haunting falls over us, the darkness darkens further, almost becoming pitch black and the room turns even colder. The goosebumps that rise all over my skin feel painful like someone has dipped my entire body in ice. I feel myself continue to lean towards Bhodi, hanging on every word of his trauma, my ears becoming almost numb to the sadness that consumed his childhood. The anxiety begins to course through me when he turns towards me, the look on his face already giving me the answer, but I need to hear his words.
“I was walking home one evening and that fucking bastard stumbles out of a bar with his arm around some woman. She was younger than my mom, but already strung out. I couldn’t believe he was still around, so I watched them, but didn’t know what to do. I felt so angry, a blind rage I’d never felt before, I thought I was going to pass out, I couldn’t think properly. After a minute passed and he stumbled down the road, I decided to follow him. It took a while, but he eventually went into some run-down house not far from mine.”
A sinister smile begins to crack across his lips. “I finally knew where he lived and night after night I watched him go back to the same house. The same cries of help, screams and bangs came from inside the property, Sam was never going to change, he was a sick, violent and sadistic bully who preyed on weak vulnerable women to depend on him.”
“Did you confront him?”
“I watched him for a few weeks, watched his movements, watched the comings and goings at the house. One night, the woman he was with stormed out. They were shouting and screaming at each other, the neighbours’ curtains twitched here and there but no one came out to stop the arguing. I waited until she left the street, Sam stormed back inside and slammed the door.”
For a moment the darkness in his eyes lift for a moment, but the glimmer they reveal is almost demonic.
“Bhodi, what did you do?”
I ask, and he senses the trepidation in my tone.
“I went into the backyard; it was dark and the trees were far too overgrown for someone to see me. I let myself in and stood in his kitchen for a moment, the overwhelming stench of his aftershave, whiskey, body odour and a filthy house all merged into one, I thought I was going to be sick. I pulled a knife from the block and just stared at it, watched the light reflect off the shiny blade, it was like the handle was moulding into my hand. But then Sam appears.”
Bhodi shakes his head, his brows pinch. “He just stares at me in the kitchen, like he’d seen a ghost. When he saw the knife he began to run, but I threw the knife right into his back. He fell hard onto the floor, crawling away, but I just couldn’t let him live, something in me just couldn’t allow him to steal another breath on this earth.”
Bhodi sighs heavily. “I pulled the knife from his back, but it felt too quick you know? Like stabbing him would just be too easy for him.”
“He deserved to suffer.” I mumble.
“I sliced both Achilles tendons, left broken glass all over his floor and set his house on fire.”
The comment comes out so matter of fact, cold and uncaring. “I watched from the street as the house burnt, I heard his desperate cries flood through the flames. It took a while for the house to go up and I waited until I heard the fire truck. There was one final explosion when all the glass blew and the entire house went up. It wasn’t what I truly wanted for him, but I wanted him to feel as desperate and as scared as my mom did when he took her life.”
Bhodi’s tongue presses into his bottom lip, as though trying to hold back a sob desperate to escape. I clutch onto his hands, desperate to keep him with me and not allow his clouded mind to take him somewhere else. Through my own cries, I manage to speak.
“Bhodi, you did nothing wrong.”
I shake my head. “You did what you had to, for you, for your mom. No one can blame you for that.”
“No, but... That’s when I knew that I was different. I didn’t feel bad about it, but I didn’t feel good either. I felt nothing, I was numb.”
“You were traumatised.”
“I never felt anything, just that it was….easy.”
He shrugs.
“Easy enough to carry on when you met my dad?”
“Yeah, like riding a bike. You don’t forget. The only difference was, I didn’t know these people. To me they were nameless and faceless, that’s when I felt the pull inside me, two people fighting to get out.”
“Two/Face? You don’t have to push him away, Bhodi.”
I look through my lashes. “I fell in love with both of you.”
Bhodi’s fingers gently caress my lips and move to cup my cheeks. Placing a kiss onto his palm, I lean heavily into his soothing touch, blinking away the few remaining cold tears that stain my face, I offer a weak smile.
“We’re both in love with you too, Sunny Sunshine.”
He pulls my face to his, our lips instantly collide, and the kiss becomes frantic. I move closer, my hands begin to tug at his hair, holding him close. Bhodi grabs my ass, grinding me against his lap. Opening my mouth, his tongue slips into mine. I push higher onto my knees, my body moving over his before pulling away and my forehead rests against his. I feel his laboured breaths move across my face, my whole body awoken with need to be close to him once again.
Gripping onto my thighs, I wrap them tight around his waist as he lifts us both up. When I feel my back hit the wall of the cabin, he grinds into me. Reaching for the hem of my jumper, I slide it off, throwing it to the floor. His lips begin to move across my jaw, down my neck and gently across my shoulder before sinking his teeth into my flesh.
“Bhodi,”
I murmur, the shiver rushing through my body.
Shrugging from his grip, my shaky legs wobble against the floor. Reaching for his T-shirt, I wrench it over his head. Lacing my fingers into the waistband of his jeans, I switch our positions, pushing him against the wall hard and a dark smirk crawls over his face. Our eyes briefly meet, before I turn around, sliding my jeans down my thighs and kicking them away, grinding my ass against his cock. The denim against lace, the low breath he lets out and the excitement all flood my ears. When I turn to face him, I brush my lace bra across his body, my nails raking down his skin, each muscle flexing beneath my touch, his hands twitching to touch me, but he doesn’t.
Loosening the belt of his jeans, along with the zipper, I hook my fingers into the fabric and peel them from his body. Dropping slowly onto my knees, I look into his eyes, slowly wetting my lips as his hard thick cock springs free, the rich smell of arousal practically making me dizzy. Running my finger slowly up and down his shaft, he twitches and I watch whilst he sucks in a breath.
“Don’t be a fucking tease, Summer,” he bites.
My eyes glimmer at him, watching him fall beneath my touch, his entire body reacting to me, my touch, my look and my fucking soul. Taking him in my fist, I admire for a moment how my fingers barely meet, how thick, strong and beautiful he truly is. I close my eyes as the salty pre-come dances across my taste buds, but when I hear the moan escape his lips and his head drops back I take him fully down my throat. Sinking lower to my knees, I watch the look on his face contort the pleasure but also the restraint he shows, his hands barely ghost across my face as I continue to suck hard and hum against him.
“Mmmmm,”
I moan, looking up to him with hooded eyes.
“Fuck…”
he mutters, the sweat beginning to form on his brow. He looks to me open mouthed, his cock down my throat and my nails skimming over his thighs.
My head begins to bob, my mouth gliding over him back and forth, his breaths becoming frantic with each passing moment. When his hands finally wrap tight around my throat and he forces me to my feet, we stagger backwards. He lands on top of me, pinning me to the floor.
“I want..”
I protest.
“Later.”
With my legs spread around him, he guides himself sharply into my dripping pussy, his hands pressed into the floor around me, caging me in, his eyes devouring me like the prey he’s so glad he caught.
“Ah Christ,”
I cry out.
My body instantly moulds to his, my legs hooked around his ass tight as he thrusts, hard and brutal. Each cry I make, his smile widens. He grinds in and out of me, my head flies back, pleasure, pain and want blur my vision and when my back arches, I feel his strong arms lace around my back and wrench me up onto his lap. His hands move to my thighs, kneading my flesh.
“Fucking bounce,”
he whispers against my mouth.
Leaning back, I dig my nails into his thighs, arching my back. I grind hard, my feet press into the ground, I work my pussy hard over his cock. I feel every sensation, every twitch, even with my muscles burning for that release, I can’t stop. I’m blinded by the desire Bhodi floods through my entire body. As he leans me back, his teeth grinding against my nipple dragging away, I feel the clench in my pussy, frantically working over his cock harder and harder when he moves to the next one. The same again, that sweet pain coursing through me.
“That’s it…fuck….right there,”
he grunts. “Once I feel your cunt pulse, you can suck your come off my cock.”
Forcing my body back to his, my arms wrap around his neck tight. I bounce hard, my feet sliding against the floor, frantically chasing my release. The tension in my stomach grows. Soon my head flies. My entire body convulses and tenses around Bhodi, I feel my pussy pulse harder than before, stars blur my vision and I struggle to breathe. The intensity of the orgasm leaves me weak for a moment. My forehead rests to his and my out-of-breath words are barely coherent.
Pushing his body to the floor, I slide off him, my body making my way down his and immediately gripping his cock in my hand. The heat pouring from him is intense and I take him fully in my mouth. His head hits the floor, his hands around my throat and I suck hard, tears spill from my eyes. I can taste us both, his body still trembling beneath me, spurring me on. I work my hand up and down his thick shaft, gliding over his slick skin.
“Shit..”
His words spur me on. Gripping a little tighter, I feel his cock begin to twitch against my tongue, saliva dripping from my mouth, sweat pouring over my body and soon he stills before a roar escapes his throat, his hands gripping around my neck tight, as he comes hard down my throat. Pulsing in my hand, I swallow every drop, before licking away the droplets and his entire body deflates against the floor. I lean forward on my knees, my palms bracing the floor. With one arm balanced against his forehead, using two fingers he beckons me over. Crawling over him, I lie on my side as he wraps his arm around me, placing a kiss to my forehead.
I let out a deep sigh. My head falls to his chest, feeling both our hearts racing, the gentle flames of the burning fire keeping our bodies warm. Bhodi holds me close for a moment, before lazily pulling a blanket from the sofa and wrapping us both up. Love consumes us both. I throw my leg over his thigh and his fingers gently skim over my back. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I snuggle close. The silence and the peace of the cabin calming us, my body relaxing and my heavy eyes gently closing.