Chapter 16
16
I knew I couldn't keep hiding out and avoiding Beck. But seeing him for the first time in a while rattled me more than I cared to admit.
All I wanted was a bit of fresh air and listening to some of the music. I didn't need to be on the bridge; everything was fine and Greg could easily take over for me, but it was a safe place to hide.
Hide? I hated myself for feeling I had to hide. It was ridiculous, to be honest. If Beck and I had gotten it on, then so be it. We were adults and could make our own choices. I both shivered in delight and cringed a little when I thought of what happened the night of the storm.
We'd been so carried away, anyone could have walked in on us and that's what made me cringe. I shook my head, it was unbelievable! But it had been amazing.
I sighed and wondered as captain if I should meander among the guests. Not that I had any impact on them, but making an appearance could be good for Beck, supportive of whatever venture he had going on.
It hadn't been easy avoiding him. But I told myself this was the best way. We had to avoid the obstacles before us. But were they? It's not like we had any long-term plans. What we'd had was a fling. Even if it felt like so much more.
I knew his schedule as well. He'd be leaving Intrepid for a few weeks once he'd wrapped up the party and the business deal down in the islands. I would remain aboard.
I wasn't quite sure how I felt about him leaving. Knowing he was on the ship the whole time was a given. And I think I almost took it for granted. We were not an item. All we did was have sex once and then more making out the night of the storm. And both times he'd rocked my world.
When I saw him just now, I had no clue why I laughed and gave him the mock salute. It had to be nerves and now I felt kinda of stupid.
"I think I'm gonna head down to the festivities. Are you okay?" I asked Greg. “I’ve made notion in the log, and all is well. If you need me, call.”
He nodded. "Yeah, for sure. Go and enjoy yourself. I don't think you've had any downtime since you first came aboard, have you?"
"No, I haven't, but that's part of the job." I smiled and left the bridge.
Music drifted up through the companionway and just like that, I wanted to have fun.
I wanted to party.
I wanted to dance and have a few drinks, eat all the food.
And to do that I didn't want to appear as captain.
I practically ran down to my cabin. Once inside, I rummaged through the drawers and pulled out a tear-away skirt I had gotten in Hawaii. I'd fallen in love with the tropical blooms on the fabric. I dug out a tank top to go with the skirt. In the bathroom, I freshened myself and put on a little bit of makeup.
"Let's see if we can hide these tired eyes," I said to my reflection.
I flicked on some mascara, smudged some eyeliner on, and finished with tinted lip gloss. I fluffed out my hair, not feeling like putting it up but I grabbed a sparkly clip and stuck it to the spaghetti strap shoulder of my top just in case it got annoying later. The coral-colored tank top hugged me and the color popped.
I pushed my feet into shiny sandals I'd found somewhere during my travels and stood before the mirror. Spinning slowly, I checked myself from all angles.
All right then, not too bad. There was nothing I could do about how tired I looked and I prayed I wouldn't fade out too early.
I shoved my cabin key into a skirt pocket, and my phone in the other one. I debated whether to snap the walkie-talkie to the waistband and decided against it. I wasn't going off ship so it wasn't like I couldn't be found in case of emergency.
With one last look at myself, I smoothed the skirt down, which came a couple of inches north of my knees, and took a deep breath letting it out slowly. Then I was out the door and pulled it closed behind me.
I was ready.
Ready to have fun and let go. I'd been holding on too tight and it was time to let go.
It was July 4th, Independence Day. There was a yacht party happening and I was going to have some fun.