Two
Beryl
Inever dreamed I’d come face to face with Noah Drake again. The shock hurts almost more than knowing how disappointed my son is going to feel when he sees his broken birthday surprise. As clumsy as I am now, it’s hard to believe I was once a successful gymnast. Not Olympic successful, but I’ve earned a good number of college division titles.
Damn Noah Drake. He ghosted me right after graduation. Disappeared with only one stupid ‘I’ve got to find myself’ declaration. He never replied to my attempts to contact him. I hope he never received any of those whining, why me missives. I’d been so in love with him, imagined being a successful architect’s wife, how lovely our home would be, how perfect our family.
God, I was such a fool.
Despite how he professed to care for me, the words of love he whispered when we were entwined on his narrow bed, he hadn’t really cared. Otherwise, how could he have left me?
All those feelings, the anger, the hate, even the love slam into me when he touches my hand to help me to my feet. It’s like I’m transported into the past where the world and everything that isn’t us disappears when he’s near.
I will not fall into that trap again.
“I’m sure my brother can fix the board,” the young woman says as she gently prods the intact chocolate.
Grateful for a reason to turn from the intensity of Noah’s gaze, I turn and shake my head. “I don’t have time. I’m late to the party the way it is.”
She sets the box on the counter and reaches into the pocket of her logoed apron for a pen and tiny notebook. Ripping out a page, she holds it and the pen toward me. “Give me your address and we’ll deliver it as soon as possible.” She glances over my shoulder and glares at Noah. “Get over here and look. How long to make repairs?”
He doesn’t move. The small satisfaction our surprise meeting is affecting him as well relaxes a modicum of tension from my shoulders. Whether that’s good or bad doesn’t matter because I don’t care what he’s feeling. He doesn’t deserve any more of my thoughts. I used them all up years ago.
“Noah?” There’s a threat in his sister’s voice, one that only a sister could get away with. I think I’d like her.
“What? Oh, yeah.” He moves in a large arc from behind me so he doesn’t touch me again to the counter to look in the box.
He lifts his gaze to me then rapidly moves it to his sister. “I actually have a practice elephant I saved to photograph for our sample book. It’s a bit smaller, but I can fill in with assorted chocolates. Maybe fifteen minutes to make sure it holds together.”
His sister nods then makes shooing motions at him before turning to me. “Is that okay?”
The treats might be a little late, but this way I won’t disappoint Devin. That’s all that matters. “Perfect.”
“Noah, Get busy.”
While he disappears to the rear of the shop, I write out the gym’s address. “Tolenka’s Gym. It’s at the southwest edge of town. There probably won’t be anyone at the front desk, so just follow the noise I’m sure the kids will be making. If not…” I add my phone number to the paper. “Call me.”
She glances at the paper then holds out her hand. “I’m Tegan Drake, by the way.”
“Beryl Malloy,” I answer automatically then wince internally. Has Noah told his sister anything about me?
“Nice to meet you. I hope you’ll trust Choco-Love with your chocolate needs despite this mishap.”
I can’t help but smile. She’s so earnest and friendly. And is either a good actress or really doesn’t know who I am. If only she wasn’t Noah’s sister. Despite having moved here five months ago, I haven’t made many friends. “I was the one who tripped. I doubt that had anything to do with your chocolate. I’ll be back.”
If I can figure out a time he’s not here.
I barely notice the traffic or the ever-present tourists on my drive to the gym. Hopefully Devin and his friends are either practicing or just messing around on the trampolines. I shouldn’t worry. Phillip, the gym owner, is skilled at keeping kids active and interested. He’s part of the reason I moved to Love Beach. He’s one of the best coaches for training elite male gymnasts.
I’d put Devin into tumbling classes as early as possible to try and stem his excess energy. He’d been noticed by one of the coaches from Phillip’s facility and was invited to train personally with Phil. Devin’s only eight and already shows promise. And interest. I wanted to give him every opportunity, so the two of us, along with my mother, moved to South Carolina.
Determined to master skills even at his young age, Devin trains every afternoon. I’m using my past skills and working at the gym as an assistant to the female coaches. And I recently started dating the owner. Life’s good.
Now Noah has shown up in Love Beach. I press my palm against the quivering in my lower belly. My life, my choices shouldn’t be any different just because I’ve encountered him again. Shouldn’t be, but that spark I’d buried so long ago is flickering again. Damn it, Noah. Why here? Why now? Just frickin’ why?
Ignoring the throb in my temples, I take deep breaths after I park in my spot at the gym. Everything’s going to be just fine. Not knowing where he was, I’ve survived over nine years without Noah Drake. I can—I will—continue to thrive and prosper even if he’s in the same small town.
Bolstered with this new determination, I enter the gym. As I suspected, shouts and cheers resound from the trampoline room so after stowing my bag in the locker room, I join the festivities. Kids of all sizes are in lines challenging each other to do different jumps, flips, and combinations on the tramps. Each attempt, no matter how successful, is met with cheers and applause. The positive attitude of the coaches is why Devin and I chose this gym for his training.
I still need a few minutes to compose myself so I sit in the shadows of the last row of the low risers near the room’s entrance. Devin’s on one of the trampolines helping a smaller girl learn how to do a back flip by starting with just falling backward and bouncing up to her feet. They laugh together when her feet slip out from under her and she bounces on her butt. I’m so proud of my son. He’s always willing to help others.
Phil notices me and starts across the gym, his usual smile for me lighting his face. When we started dating, I made sure to insist we never show our relationship while at work. Other than the occasional brush of shoulders, or casual whispers, I think we’ve done a good job of keeping our personal lives separate.
He’s kind and patient. Good qualities for a coach and a partner. I enjoy spending time with him. We’ve shared kisses but nothing more. I’m just not ready for a physical relationship with him. There’s no reason why I’m hesitant I can put my finger on. I have a sense of anticipation, but not for his touch.
He”s never asked for more although his kisses are increasingly more demanding. I want to want him.
I want to feel what I felt with Noah. That’s what I’ve always wanted. I close my eyes and admit the truth that took hold of my heart the moment I saw him today. I still want him.
Allowing myself to be with him, that’s a totally different matter. I have Devin to consider. I can’t lose myself with a man only to have him disappear. I can’t—won’t—go through that again. If I started again with Noah, would my son grow to consider him a father? What might it do to Devin’s life if Noah was there, then suddenly, inexplicably gone.
Phil hovers over me. “Everything okay? You look like something’s bothering you.”
Taking a deep breath I find a smile and lift my gaze to him. “Just tired. It’s been a crazy day.”
He perches on the bench next to me. “Weren’t you picking up the chocolate thing?”
“There was a bit of an accident and it needed a tiny repair.”
Chuckling, he leans back against the wall. “What happened? You drop it?”
He’s teasing. I know that. For some reason this time it hurts. “Typical trip and fall.”
“Fall? Are you okay?” He takes my hand and angles to study me from head to toe. His concern is welcome and oddly awkward.
“I’m fine. Like I said, just a small repair on the chocolate. They’re delivering it, probably in a few minutes.”
His attention is drawn toward a noisy pileup of boys on one of the mats. “I’d better go untangle that mess. As soon as the surprise gets here, I’ll get everyone calmed down and we’ll head to the snack room.”
“Perfect.” I watch him walk away, admiring his compact, muscular body. So different than my lanky Noah. My Noah?
Stop it. I will not think about him.
Until the door opens and he’s there, hesitating until he sees me. He crosses the short distance and, from under my eyelashes, I drink him in. He’s broader in the chest, the muscles in his arms defined but not overly so. Not like Phil’s. I remember how Noah’s arms felt around me, so different than how carefully Phil holds me.
Stop comparing them. Noah is the past. Phil might be my future.
Noah stops and holds out the Choco-Love box. “Fixed and ready for the party.”
“I thought your sister would deliver it.” The statement comes out harsh and he winces. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“And you didn’t expect to see me.”
“No. You were a huge surprise. Thank you for the repair work.” My lips twitch as I try not to chuckle at myself. “Would you bring it into the snack room? I don’t know if I trust myself.”
His bright blue eyes light and he nods.
Before we turn toward the hallway, Phil appears at my side and wraps one arm around my waist. Resisting the urge to jab my elbow into his side, I stiffen as he tugs me minutely closer.
“So,” he says in a flat voice. “You must be from the new chocolate shop in town.”