4. Hadley
Aren’t we being fake?
Quade’s words run on a continuous loop in my head. They’ve been doing it for over an hour and I can’t seem to stop them.
It’s annoying. And confusing.
Why the hell did I agree to be the very thing I hate about my father’s business?
It makes no sense. None at all. And I hate that it makes me a hypocrite. Especially after leaving LA the way I did—why I did.
Dammit. Some easy money and time away aren’t going to give me what I want.
The break I was after is giving me more worries than if I’d stayed home and fought it out with my dad.
“Dammit.”
“You okay over there?”
“Shit. Sorry.” I’ve been quiet too long. The thoughts swirling in my head distracting me from what we’re supposed to be doing. “What else do we need to know about each other?”
“Why don’t we leave it until we get to my house? We can get something to eat and take our time. Hell, we can even pretend we’re on a date and do the usual first date things.”
Sitting straight from the slump I hadn’t realized I was in, I turn to face Quade’s profile. “I think that’s a brilliant idea, but I have a suggestion.”
“Shoot.”
“Why don’t we forget we’ve got this agreement, you don’t need to pay me, just cover my expenses and we’ll date.” Before he can speak, I hold up a hand. “I’m not saying we should do it seriously. We’ll just date, get to know each other, have fun, casual.”
“So our fake dating is now real dating?”
“You don’t want to date me?”
Quade chuckles. “I don’t know you.”
“You know enough to decide whether or not you’d date me.”
“True.”
“With what you know, you wouldn’t date me?”
“Oh, no, I would. If I was actively looking for someone, I’d have asked you out the minute I laid eyes on you at the airport.”
“Really?” At his nod I continue. “Okay, so we both like what we see and everything you’ve told me about yourself in the last few hours hasn’t made me want to throw the door open and jump out,” I say with a grin.
“Same.” He shoots me a wink.
It’s the most relaxed thing I’ve seen him do since I saw him waiting for me with those gorgeous flowers and I’m left speechless.
“If neither of us is jumping out of a moving vehicle I’m sure we can get through a few meals together.”
“It’s going to be more than a few—it’s every meal for months,” I remind him.
“I suppose. But I was being honest when I said you could do whatever you want outside of some of the functions we’ll be forced to attend as a couple.”
“You mentioned I wouldn’t need to be glued to your side at those either.”
“No, you won’t.”
“All right. We’re dating. Casually.”
“We’re testing the waters to see if we want to turn this long-distance relationship into a short distance one.”
“Yes, because I’m still looking for work after finishing my degrees.”
“And when the summer is over…”
“How about we not worry about that for now.”
“I can do that, but I have to warn you, I’m not looking for anything serious. And I can’t not pay you.”
“Don’t turn me into Vivian.”
“Sorry, who?”
“Vivian Ward. The heroine from Pretty Woman.”
“Oh.”
“By the sound of that oh I take it you know the movie and understand what I’m saying.”
“Yes. I’ve seen Pretty Woman.” His throat works as he swallows hard. “I, um, that was—is—not my intention.”
“Good. Then you’ll cover my expenses, food, and a place to stay. I’ll even let you pay for me when we go out, but I’ll take care of anything else.”
The frown on his face is so fierce I want to giggle. I have to turn away and look outside until I get the urge under control.
“You’re not going to back down on that, are you?” he asks after a few minutes of silence.
“No.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad or like a…”
At the break in his words, I turn back to find him gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles.
“You’re doing me a favor, I feel as though I need to do you one,” he mutters, and I can tell I’m frustrating him.
“We’re doing each other a favor. You need someone to hang out with for the summer and I need a break from home to make some life decisions.”
“If I can help with those, let me know. I’m intimately acquainted with forging your own path when everyone expects you to join the family business.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, the Sandersons have owned hotels and restaurants all over the world going back generations and when I left college, I had no desire to fall in line with everyone else. Still don’t.”
“What did you do?”
“I joined forces with my two best friends and went into real estate.”
“And your family didn’t get mad?”
“Oh, they got mad, they got upset, and they got really good at attempting to guilt me into giving up what I was building. Especially after my grandfather died.”
“And you didn’t cave?” The question tightens my chest. Is that my fear? That Dad will harass me enough I’ll give in and work for the agency even when it’s the last thing I want to do?
“No. It helps that I’m stubborn and once I make up my mind it rarely gets unmade. But the biggest reason I stuck to what I wanted was my dad.”
“He supported you?”
“No. But I’ve watched him spend his whole life doing something he’s not passionate about. I’d even go as far as saying he hates it some days.”
“That’s no way to live.”
“No, it’s not. But don’t feel sorry for him. He had—has—other passions he dove into. His kids, his garden. My mother.”
“So he’s not unhappy?”
“No. I don’t think he’s unhappy with his life.”
“But he’s not happy in his job.”
“No, definitely not. And he started pulling back and handing things over to two of my sisters over the last few years and now that my youngest sister has graduated from college, she’ll join them. They all have the passion for the hotels and restaurants our mother and grandfather have.”
“My dad doesn’t have that.”
“What? Passion for what he does?”
“No, he has that. I think. What he doesn’t have is anyone but me to take over, and I don’t feel passionate about the company.” The hole my mom, sister, and brother left in our lives never felt as big as it does right this second.
Then again, if they hadn’t died, would Dad have given so much of himself to Blush? Would he be pushing me to work there with the aim of taking over?
If I don’t, who will?
With a mental jolt I realize somewhere in the back of my mind I’ve already resigned myself to doing what Dad wants. I don’t want to fight with him and maybe that’s why I chose the double degree so I’d be able to put off joining him.
The extra time at college might have given me freedom and postponed the inevitable, but with my newly printed degrees, that’s over. There’s no avoiding this any longer.
I have a lot of thinking to do over the next few months.
I have to make a decision. One I’ve put off. One I don’t want to make. One that will make one of us unhappy.
Do I disappoint my dad and live the life I want or ensure his happiness at the expense of my own?