Chapter Eleven
Emily
I flipped the cover to the mirror on my visor and checked myself over.
“Why am I so nervous?” I asked Rufus and Moose.
They cocked their heads, regarding me with big eyes that wondered what I was talking about and why on earth I didn’t have a treat for them.
Ever since Chris walked up my driveway, my life changed. “Okay, I’m being dramatic,” I said to them.
In a way, my life had changed, though.
Everything was better. I felt more alive . . . and happier than I could ever remember being.
At Chris’s front door, my heart thundered. This was the first time I’d been to his house. He always came to mine. I thought most of that was because I had two dogs, and he just had Luke. Only when I knocked on the door did I start second-guessing things and wonder if there was another reason.
When he opened the door, my heart jumped around like a wild animal. It floored me that he could make my insides tremble after a few hours apart. It hadn’t been a full twenty-four hours since I saw him last.
“Your house is beautiful,” I said as Rufus and Moose clamored inside to say hello to Luke. I looked around, realizing he probably wanted to unpack everything before inviting me over so there weren’t boxes and packing materials strewn all over. Things were in perfect order.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
I curled into his embrace, perfectly content and completely at home.
Luke let out three barks.
“Give me just a sec,” he said.
“What on earth? A lightsaber?” I asked when Chris picked up the life-sized toy.
“Oh, yeah. Every dog owner should invest in one of these.”
I rolled my eyes. “Boys and their toys.”
Chris scrambled over to the couch, where Luke waited anxiously. “You see,” he said, kneeling to the floor, “a lightsaber is the best tool to reach lost toys.” He moved it back and forth under the couch before standing up, proudly displaying Luke’s lost ball.
“What do you use to get their toys?” he asked.
I laughed. “A broomstick.”
“That’s so boring,” he said. “Plus, this thing lights up. Makes it a little easier if it’s nighttime.”
“I’m sure,” I said, shaking my head.
“You want to see the dog run?” he asked, powering off the lightsaber.
“I thought you only used the light at nighttime.”
“Nah,” he said with a chuckle. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“I didn’t know I was dating a nerd.” I lifted onto my tiptoes. “But it’s my new favorite quality.”
“Baby, you have no idea.”
I lifted a brow. “Should I be scared?”
“Maybe.” He squeezed my sides, eliciting a squeal from me. “Come on.” He took my hand and led me through the kitchen. “We have to leave them inside until the guys leave,” he said.
“Sit,” I said. All three rumps hit the floor. “Good sit.”
We went out back. Chris’s backyard was spectacular. Like me, he had a pool and a sizeable lawn.
After completing a quick tour, I turned to him and said, “I can’t wait to see the rest of your house.”
His face didn’t turn white, but almost. He shoved his hands into his pocket and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.
“What is it?” My stomach churned at his apparent nervousness.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I should have told you sooner. And I don’t know why I didn’t.”
“I should have known you were too good to be true,” I said as the proverbial other shoe dropped.
“No, no. It’s not a bad thing. At least, I hope it’s not. Because that would really suck.” He stuck his hands back into his pockets.
“Just spit it out, Chris. I don’t like this.”
“I have a son.”
“Son?” Invisible sweat sprang out all over my body.
“Yeah. Hudson. He’s eight. Almost nine.”
“Where is he?”
“At my parents’ back in Florida.”
“Oh.” Dazed and dumbfounded, I stood in place, my legs incapable of moving me in any direction.
“It was his last week of school when I had to move up here. He stayed an extra couple of weeks because of science camp and because I thought he would like to spend some time with his friends.”
I lost my voice, only staring at him, shocked and surprised by this news.
“Emily?”
“You lied to me?” I was a complete fool, caught up with someone who I didn’t know—not truly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him sooner. I was about to that first night I came over. And then your timer went off, and dinner was ready. As you remember, we spent the rest of the night in bed, and?—”
“You didn’t think you should tell me”—I threw my hands in the air—“oh, I don’t know, the next day? Or the day after?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I know.” He hung his head. Momentarily, I was reminded of the way Moose and Rufus looked when they did something naughty.
“You know, you told me something about the importance of honesty that night. And I have been honest with you ever since that moment. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t extend the same courtesy to me. That hurts. Don’t you trust me?”
Hurt, confusion, guilt, and shame warred in his eyes. “Of course, I trust you, Emily.”
“But you don’t tell me about your son. What about your wife?”
He closed his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down on a hard swallow. “She died,” he whispered, taking another big swallow. “When Hudson was barely two years old.”
The anguish in his voice broke my heart, and I felt like a jerk for jumping to conclusions.
My body shook as though an earthquake rumbled under my feet. That’s when I felt two tears run down my face. I rushed forward on sticks of jelly. I might have collapsed if it wasn’t for my immediate concern for Chris.
I tucked myself into his body and held him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t mean to keep it from you,” he choked out on a sob.
“Shh,” I crooned, rocking him as I rubbed up and down his back.
Hurt was still evident in his eyes when he finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. He took a moment as if gathering his thoughts, then shook himself out of whatever it was he was thinking. “I can’t excuse myself for what I did. I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. I guess”—he shrugged—“in a way, I thought I was protecting Hudson. But really,”—he shrugged again—“I was protecting myself.”
“I don’t get it,” I said, genuinely confused.
“I wasn’t sure how you would feel about me being a single dad. You made it clear that you don’t want any complications. It took me forever to get you to agree to have dinner with me. I guess I was just hoping . . . I don’t know. I’m a dumb fuck for not telling you right away.”
“When does he come back?” I asked.
Chris’s face lit up with a huge smile. “A week. My parents and sister are driving him up.”
“Oh. Wow. Okay, um.”
“Em, baby.” He took my hands. “You don’t have to meet him until you’re ready. I want you to meet him. When. You’re. Ready. I know this is a lot to take in, but I want you to be sure.”
“I do want to meet him.” My words were the honest truth. “I-I’m nervous. But—” I sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I want to meet him.”
He trapped me in a fierce hug.
“Do you have a picture of him?” I asked, my face buried in his chest.
Laughter rumbled from deep inside. “Yeah, yeah.” He released me and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. “Here,” he said, handing it to me.
The cutest little face looked at me. Hudson had Chris’s eyes and smile. He also had a set of dimples and a few freckles across his nose. “He’s adorable,” I said, flipping to the next one. There were six in total, and every single one made me fall deeper and deeper in love. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
We spent the rest of the night curled up with the dogs as Chris told me everything about Hudson and his life as a dad. My heart broke all over again when he told me about Kayla. He loved her so much and fell apart after she passed away. “She was so young to suffer a stroke. It happened so suddenly. One minute she was fine. The next, she was on the ground, and there was nothing I could do.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I said, understanding his grief. “Kayla sounds like she was an amazing woman and wonderful mother.”
“She was. I just wish we had more time with her. All Hudson knows about her is from the stories I’ve told him and the pictures I have.”
“She’ll always be a part of him. And of you. Keep her memory alive for him. My grandma always told me she’d be with me. There’s a comfort in that.”
“What about your parents?” he asked.
“That’s a story for another day.” I sighed, wanting to focus on him and Hudson. “They weren’t great. I was lucky I had my grandma. I don’t think I’d be the person I am today if it wasn’t for her.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I miss her so much.”
Chris held me close, both of us staying quiet as grief and memories of our loved ones washed over us.
Sharing and listening to Chris was more intimate than making love. I felt closer to him than any man before. I said a little prayer before closing my eyes, hoping that Hudson and I would hit it off and my presence wouldn’t upset him.