20. Parker
Chapter twenty
Parker
S unlight filters in through my bedroom’s curtains, and I crack open my eyes reluctantly. I feel well-rested and content, and I smile as I recall all the ways Chloe “distracted” me last night. With a satisfied groan, I roll over, expecting to find a warm, soft woman next to me.
Instead, all I find is an empty mattress and cool sheets.
Disappointment shoots through me, and I sit up. Shit, did she leave? Damn, it would’ve been nice to wake up with her, but I suppose that’s not the relationship we have. We’re only friends with benefits, after all. Once the sex is over, there’s no reason for her to stick around.
My eyes flicker to the end table on her side of the bed, and I spot a folded piece of paper sitting on top of it. With my heart hammering inside my chest, I scramble to grab it and can’t help my smile of relief when I see that it’s a note from Chloe. She didn’t just leave without a word, then. That makes me feel significantly better.
I quickly read through the note.
Parker,
Sorry, I had to slip away early, and I didn’t want to wake you. I had to get to work. Holt wants me in early today to go over all the listings he’s given me. I hope you’re feeling good this morning. Last night was incredible. I’ll call later to check in, but until then, know I’ll be thinking of you and every naughty thing you did to me.
~ Chloe
This woman is too perfect for me. Sitting back against my pillows, I let my mind wander back to last night and everything that happened, not just with Chloe, but with my family. I can’t believe they told me to leave but let Bethany stay. That hurt more than I can put into words. It felt like a betrayal, and I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to put it behind me. I don’t want to lose my family, but I’m not sure how I can face them right now.
I can still hardly believe that Chloe walked out with me. It was incredibly brave of her, and my heart swells at the memory. I would never have expected that. Would never have expected her to stick up for me like that. That’s not something a person does for a mere friend with benefits. That’s something they do for someone they really care about.
Chloe cares about me, that much is obvious, but how much? What does she feel for me, exactly? I’m dying to know, but I know I need to figure out what exactly I feel for her first. It wouldn’t be fair for me to ask her without first knowing my own answer. What I do know is that she’s more than a hookup for me. She’s more than just a friend.
I realize then that I simply want more from her instead of just a cut-and-dry arrangement that’ll eventually come to an end. The thought of us going back to the way we were before, as if nothing had ever happened, forms a lump of dread inside my stomach.
Well, shit, I might be falling for Chloe. Really, truly falling for her. Not just a crush or infatuation. I might actually be falling in love with her.
Rubbing a hand over my mouth, I let out a long sigh. Now I’ve gone and complicated things, haven’t I?
***
Later that evening, I’m watching TV and doing my best to relax when the doorbell suddenly rings. My heart leaps, and I jump to my feet. Is it Chloe? She texted me earlier this afternoon just to see what I was up to, but we didn’t make any plans to meet up again today. Maybe she’s dropping by to surprise me?
I hurry to the front door but pause a moment to collect myself before I open it. I don’t want her to think I’m too eager or anything. Running a hand through my hair, I take a deep breath and open the door.
“Oh,” I say when I see that it’s not Chloe but Lauren standing on my doorstep. “It’s you.”
She arches a brow and frowns. “You don’t need to act so disappointed. Were you expecting someone else?”
“Uh, no,” I quickly answer with a shake of my head. “I wasn’t, but I also wasn’t expecting you to drop by.”
I’m not sure how to feel about Lauren right now. I don’t think I’m mad at her, exactly, but I’m definitely hurt that she seemed so willing to stand by while our parents kicked me out in favor of Bethany.
She holds up two plastic bags with a Chinese restaurant’s logo on them and says, “I brought dinner. Can we talk?”
I think about it a moment and then slowly nod before stepping aside to let her in.
Closing the door, I follow her into the kitchen and watch as she sets out the cartons of food.
“So,” I begin with a heavy sigh, “what’s up?”
She glances up at me. “I want to talk about what happened yesterday at Mom and Dad’s…”
“Look, I’m not interested in hearing any pleas to give Bethany a chance,” I growl, cutting her off before she can go any further. “So, if that’s why you’re here…”
“It’s not, I promise. I mainly wanted to apologize for not backing you up. What happened was really shitty, and I still can’t really believe Dad said that to you.”
“Yeah,” I grumble, ducking my head so she can’t see the hurt in my expression, though I’m sure she knows that it didn’t exactly feel great. “That…sucked.”
She doesn’t say anything for several moments, and I finally glance up at her. She’s studying me with a sympathetic look. “If it makes you feel any better, he really regretted it after you left.”
I shrug. What good does that do? He kicked me out, and no matter how bad he feels about it now, he can’t take it back. “It doesn’t, but thanks. We don’t need to talk about that anymore. Let’s just eat, yeah?”
“Okay.” She nods, though I can tell there’s more she wants to say. Still, she presses her lips together and busies herself preparing plates of food for the two of us. She’s gotten us Mongolian beef, sweet and sour chicken, and crab Rangoon.
“Just like in college.” I chuckle at the spread before us.
She grins and nods. “I thought we could use a little nostalgia comfort.”
“Thanks,” I say softly. “This was nice of you.”
She waves my words off, as if it’s no big deal that she came to make sure that I’m okay, which is more than what my parents have done. “It’s the least I can do.”
We move into the living room and sit on my couch with our plates. We eat in silence for a while, the only noises coming from the scraping of our forks and the low hum of some sitcom I’d left playing on TV. Lauren keeps glancing at me, her mouth opening like she’s about to say something but then closing again.
Finally, she puts her plate down and looks squarely at me. “I really am sorry.”
“I know.” I nod, not sure what else to say.
“I should’ve stood up for you.”
“It’s done now.”
“Yeah.” She wipes her hands on a napkin and sighs heavily, staring at the rug.
I don’t know what it is about that look on her face, one of sorrow and guilt, but something in me softens a little. “Look, it doesn’t matter. It happened, and we can’t go back in time.”
She frowns a little but nods, anyway. Then, she gets up and starts clearing our plates. I watch her for a while before standing to help her. We move together in the kitchen, washing dishes and putting away leftovers in comfortable silence.
Once everything is cleaned up, we both head back to the living room. Lauren chooses a different sitcom this time, and we sit side by side on the couch again, not talking, just watching TV together like we used to do when we were younger.
It’s not perfect. It doesn’t fix everything or make what happened go away, but for now at least, it feels okay just being here with Lauren.
Amidst all this peace and quiet, though, there’s still a part of me that can’t stop thinking about Chloe and wondering what she would say if she knew I might be falling for her. My heart flutters at the thought, and I can’t help but hope she might be thinking about me, too.
As if she can read my mind, Lauren suddenly looks back at me and asks, “So, what’s going on with you and Chloe?”
I nearly choke on my own spit. “Wh-what? What are you talking about? Nothing’s going on with me and Chloe.”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, don’t give me that. I know you guys have been working together a lot lately, but the way she walked out yesterday to follow you…it seemed like there was a lot more to it than just concern about a colleague. You can’t seriously think you can convince me nothing more is happening between you two.”
“We’ve just gotten reacquainted, that’s all,” I try to assure her. “She’s become a friend.”
Lauren raises an eyebrow, obviously not buying it. “Really?”
“Really,” I confirm and keep my gaze steady.
She studies me for a moment longer before sighing and reclining back in to the couch.
“If you say so,” she mumbles. It’s obvious she doesn’t believe me, but she lets it go, turning her attention back to the TV. I relax and release a long sigh as I watch the show as well. I can’t help but let out a snort when an over-dramatized love confession scene plays out.
“Romance writing has really gone down the drain,” I comment, more to myself than to Lauren.
However, she replies with a chuckle. “Right? All subtlety is lost these days.”
I find myself grinning at her response, something in me feeling lighter despite the inner turmoil caused by my feelings for Chloe.
We continue to watch TV, exchanging occasional comments and reactions. Things start to feel closer to normal again, and I’m glad. Not having my twin in my life is hard enough. I’d hate to lose my younger sister as well. Hours pass, and before we know it, it’s nearly midnight. Lauren stretches and yawns before getting off the couch.
“I should get going,” she announces. “Thanks for letting me hang out.”
“No problem,” I reply as I follow her to the door.
She smiles at me. “So, we can do it again? I’m not banned?”
I chuckle and shake my head. “No, you’re not banned. We can definitely do this again, and soon.”
With that, Lauren leaves my home, and I’m left alone with my thoughts again. I turn off the TV and make my way into my bedroom. As I sink into bed and try to go to sleep, a single thought crosses my mind: maybe things aren’t as bad as they initially seemed. After all, I’m not completely alone. I have Lauren, and with her at my side, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I can face whatever comes next. Including confronting my feelings for Chloe.