Chapter Ten #3
“Don’t you dare talk about me as if I’m not here.
I refuse to go, and that’s the end of it.
” How could this all have turned so quickly?
She was losing control again. Spontaneity had never been her strong suit, and her body trembled at the thought of her life being governed by someone else. By Inspector M?rten Viskten, no less.
Summer pushed her chair so she could back away from the table; she’d been smart enough not to sit in the corner this time.
She stormed down the hallway and slammed the door to her bedroom behind her.
She would not continue this conversation.
Not when all three of them were staring at her as if it was already a done deal.
She was going to pack her things and get out of here. End of story.
Summer had few belongings with her, and so she’d almost finished stuffing clothes and toiletries into her backpack when there was a light tap on the bedroom door. “Summer, can I come in?” It was Nikki, and Summer’s shoulders sagged. Blast that woman.
“Yes,” Summer said begrudgingly; this was her house after all, she couldn’t very well keep her out. But it was also her fault she was in this mess. Summer didn’t turn around as Nikki entered and closed the door behind her, then came to hover beside the bed.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t realize I’d cause such a problem. Your training is so important to you, and this seemed like the obvious answer. I was only trying to help,” she said, craning her neck to catch Summer’s eye.
“I know you were. Thank you anyway,” Summer conceded with a sigh, continuing to push things into her bag, not wanting to face the other woman.
But how could she stay mad at Nikki? Of course, she’d only suggested it because her heart was in the right place; she couldn’t have known what was going on in Summer’s head.
Especially when Summer wasn’t even sure why she was so adamant she shouldn’t go.
All she knew was that spending two weeks in close proximity with M?rten would be dangerous.
Dangerous to all her well-constructed rules and regulations. He was a threat to her self-control.
“So what’s going on? Help me understand.” Nikki opened her palms beseechingly. “What’s the real reason you don’t want to go? Is there something happening between you and M?rten? I know you seem to rub each other the wrong way? But do you hate him that much that you can’t spend two weeks with him?”
Summer stopped packing, sat on the end of the bed and pouted.
How could Nikki so quickly delve to the core of the matter?
Summer liked to think she kept all her thoughts and feelings well hidden, but Nikki could see right through her.
She couldn’t very well tell Nikki it was because she liked M?rten too much that she couldn’t go.
How could she explain her jumbled feelings?
“I don’t hate him,” she replied finally. “It’s just that…” Summer sighed, wondering how she could put this.
“Oh, I see,” Nikki said with a sly grin. “You don’t hate him. It’s actually the complete opposite.”
“No. I wouldn’t go that far,” Summer protested.
“When was the last time you dated?” Nikki asked, plonking herself on the bed next to Summer.
“What?” She’d only known Nikki for a few days, how could this woman already be so determined to ask her such intimate things?
“Well, if you don’t hate him, then there’s clearly a lot of conflicting emotions going on, and I wondered why you didn’t have a boyfriend. I am right; you don’t have a boyfriend, do you?”
“No, I don’t.” Summer sat up straighter, on the defense now. Why was that any of Nikki’s concern? Who and when she went out with was her business alone.
“So, if you aren’t seeing anyone right now, I was wondering when you last dated? You know, when did you last have sex?”
Summer turned to gape at Nikki. Has she just asked her how long it had been since she’d slept with another man?
“Just because you’re not looking for a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have sex,” Nikki continued.
“What?” The word came out kind of like a screech, as Summer’s hands flew up in utter surprise.
Summer had had this same conversation with Bianca on more than one occasion, but she barely knew Nikki, so how could she possibly expect her to confide in her?
“I don’t… I haven’t,” Summer stumbled over her words.
Even if she could remember the last time she’d taken a man to her bed, she wasn’t about to reveal that to Nikki.
“Because I think that is what you’re afraid of. That you and M?rten might end up having sex,” Nikki stated, giving a satisfied nod of her head. “Is that such a bad thing?”
Summer looked at Nikki, incredulous. Words failed her.
Only Bianca would have been this forthright with Summer.
Everyone else was afraid of hurting her feelings.
Trent might not-so-subtly hint that Summer needed to find love, even suggesting he could set her up with someone nice, but he would always back down if she got angry enough.
And Serena would often point out good-looking men when they were on a girl’s night out, gently pushing Summer in their direction, but then she’d shake her head sadly when Summer would find some invisible flaw; a reason she couldn’t talk to the man.
All her friends understood innately that Summer had been scarred badly by love gone wrong, and so while they wanted her to experience love again, they didn’t push too hard.
Bianca was the only one who knew the true reason.
She was also the only one who was blunt, telling her that everyone needed someone special, and that to live without intimacy was a form of basic survival, but not of true happiness.
“He obviously likes you. And you like him, even if you don’t want to accept it. Aren’t you tired of sleeping alone?” Nikki’s words interrupted Summer’s thoughts.
Surprisingly, the answer was yes. Yes, she was tired of sleeping alone.
But she wasn’t about to admit that. Because sex led to dating, and dating led to commitment, and commitment led to falling in love.
And when she fell in love, it ended in tragedy.
So there was no point in even trying. It was much safer to stay single.
Then you wouldn’t get hurt. Much easier to never let yourself get hurt in the first place.
Summer knew Bianca would tell her she couldn’t change what’d happened in the past. Nothing would bring Marco back. And she would be right. But there was one thing Summer could do to protect her heart. And that was to be sure not to make the same mistake again.
But Nikki wasn’t Bianca, and Summer didn’t know how she was going to convince her new friend—because that’s what she was fast becoming, a friend—without revealing the truth.
She let out a sigh containing all her frustration and confusion.
Nikki covered Summer’s hands with hers in a soothing gesture, and Summer was surprised to find she’d been rubbing the scar on her palm again; she’d been so agitated she hadn’t even felt the pain.
“Okay,” Nikki said. “I’m sorry. There’s something going on here, and you’re not prepared to let me in on the details, and I’m fine with that.
I get it; we hardly know each other. I shouldn’t have pried into your private life.
” Nikki gave a rueful smile. “Jacob is always telling me I have a tendency to butt in where I’m not wanted. ”
Summer felt a sudden jab of self-reproach. Nikki was only trying to help. “And I have a tendency to be a closed book,” she replied.
“I shouldn’t have shot off my mouth and told you to sleep with M?rten,” Nikki continued apologetically.
“I got a bit sidetracked on that point.” She twisted her plump lips together in a childish pout.
Nikki had amazing lips. She was just as pretty on the outside as she was on the inside, which made it almost impossible not to like her.
“But that doesn’t mean my idea was a bad one,” Nikki continued.
“I know M?rten. He’s a man of honor. He’s tough and dependable.
And even though I’m sure he fancies you…
” Nikki raised a hand as Summer went to open her mouth to protest. “He wouldn’t touch you if you didn’t want to be touched.
And I know he will protect you, no matter what. ”
Summer hung her head, staring at her runners, considering Nikki’s words.
“I’m also supposed to be a bridesmaid at my friend’s weddings.
The ceremony is three weeks away, just after I get back from the triathlon event.
What am I going to tell Josie? There’re all sorts of bridesmaidy things I’m expected to do for her before then,” Summer added miserably.
Summer had almost forgotten about Josie and Mark’s wedding in all the ensuing chaos.
But it was one more reason that leaving Seattle wasn’t a good idea.
“Hmm, it’s not ideal if you have to leave her in the lurch,” Nikki acknowledged. “Is she the sort of person who’d understand that you’ve got mitigating circumstances? Or is she a Bridezilla who’ll never speak to you again if you abandon her?”
Summer had to smile. “Josie is far from a Bridezilla. But her mother is another kettle of fish,” she said with a chuckle. “No, you’re right, Josie would be mortified if she found out I was being chased by a maniac and disregarded my safety just to be at her beck and call.”
“So, she’d want you to go to Sweden too?” Nikki asked.
“Mmm hmm,” Summer conceded with a nod of her head.
“And you’ll be back in time to attend the wedding,” Nikki persisted. “If it’s after the triathlon, then they’ll surely have all this sorted by then, and have this Tyrone fellow in custody.” She scrutinized Summer with her sharp, blue gaze.
“I’ve never been to Sweden,” Summer said with a sigh, knowing when she’d been beaten. “I’ve heard it’s beautiful in the summer. And it would be a good place to train,” she admitted.
“Does that mean you’ll go?” Nikki’s face was so eager, Summer had to give a rueful smile. “I guess, as long as M?rten is still okay with it. Anything has to be better than being cooped up in a safe house with a twenty-four-hour guard watching my every move.”
“Oh, good.” Nikki bounced off the bed, clapping her hands. “Let’s tell M?rten, then.”
“Hmm,” Summer narrowed her eyes at the door. As far as she was concerned, this was the lesser of two evils. That was all.