Chapter 10
Zeke
Iwonder if Talon believes that because he’s straight, I wouldn’t be attracted to him.
Because I am.
And it’s sentences like his last one that make me certain I’m not going to survive him. Hell, I might not even survive this lunch.
“Is that okay?” he asks again when I don’t respond right away. Sorry, must’ve swallowed my tongue.
“Um, yeah. I can get you a ticket if you want.” I’d be concerned about him running into Derek, but for all his jealousy, Derek’s never attended one of my plays.
I figured he’d want to stake his claim, but he seems hellbent on pretending like the theater, and my involvement in it, don’t exist. Mostly, I think he uses the time I’m at rehearsal and the shows to get high or run around on me.
“I don’t mind paying for a ticket. I want to support the theater and the show,” Talon says.
I nod, not knowing what to say. I’m saved from having to answer by his phone ringing again. When he flips it over to check the number, I see the name Dahlia on the screen, and his jaw clenches.
“Excuse me for a second,” he says, sliding out of the booth.
I take the opportunity to check my own phone.
The first notification is a message from my bank. Low balance: $76.29.
Gee, thanks for the reminder that I’m broke as fuck on Christmas.
I ordered the fries because they were cheap, and as much as I wanted to turn down Talon’s barbecue, it was really fucking good. I can’t remember the last time I ate until I was full. Looking at the decimated plate in front of me, I realize with horror that I ate almost all of it.
Shit. That means I need to offer to pay for half of it. Guess that balance is going to drop even lower.
The next notification freezes my blood in my veins.
It’s a text from Derek.
Derek
Why are you at Billy’s BBQ?
Shit. I forgot he can see my location. For so long, it hasn’t mattered because I’m either at home, the theater, or Summit. Thinking fast, I type a response as close to the truth as I can get.
Me
Just getting some cheese fries as a Christmas treat for myself.
Derek
Well, don’t eat too many. I’m coming home early. Be ready for me.
Me
What time?
Derek
Why? You have more big plans today?
Merry Christmas to you, too, asshole.
I suddenly regret every bite I ate, and it threatens to come right back up.
Me
There’s a big difference between 3:00 and 8:00. Just want to make sure my timing is good for you.
Derek
I’ll be home at 2:30. Rent’s due anyway ;)
That gives me hardly any time at all.
Talon comes back to the table a few minutes later, the stress of the phone call lingering in his eyes.
“Bad news?” I ask, forcing my own drama to the side.
“Just part of being me,” Talon says cryptically. I want to ask for more information, but that would most likely require giving more as well, and I definitely don’t want to do that. Especially now.
Nodding, I flag our waitress as she passes by.
“Could I get the check when you have a second?”
The waitress shoots Talon a look, and he nods. I wasn’t aware I needed permission to pay for my own meal. The claws of desperation, as well as the news that Derek is coming home early, are dragging me back down to the pits of hell, and my mood is plummeting just as fast.
“Ready to go so soon? I was maybe going to see if you wanted to walk around for a bit or something,” Talon says, killing me slowly.
“I’m really sorry. Something came up, and I need to head home.”
Talon slowly raises his eyes to mine.
“Derek?”
Hearing my boyfriend’s name fall from Talon’s mouth is all wrong. Talon is far too good, too honest, too happy to taint himself by having Derek’s name roll off his tongue.
“Yeah. Dahlia?” I ask pointedly.
“A disgruntled ex-girlfriend,” he answers easily.
“To match my toxic boyfriend,” I answer with a humorless snort.
“Will you ever tell me why you stay with him?” Talon asks as our waitress approaches.
“Probably not,” I admit.
As she steps next to the table, the waitress looks between Talon and me before placing the little black book on his side of the table.
I might be poor, but I take care to present myself so that people would never know, and I’m a little miffed that she just assumes Talon is paying.
Although he is older than me, he doesn’t really look it.
Reaching across the table, I give a very undignified huff of annoyance. And then Talon’s hand catches mine.
“I invited you, Zeke. Lunch is on me. Please.”
“But I ate most of yours,” I argue.
“I was hoping you would,” he says softly. “I worry about you.”
I wish I could tell him there’s no need to worry about me, but there’s no way my mouth will form the words.
I made it home in time on Christmas to do enough prep so that Derek’s assault didn’t leave me bleeding and curled into a ball like he’s done before.
He was in a decent mood, and I worked hard to be agreeable, really selling the performance of enjoying myself.
Nothing’s worse than when he doesn’t believe me and accuses me of acting with him.
His ego is too fragile, and he lashes out.
Things have been relatively peaceful at home since then, giving me just enough space to breathe a little easier.
Talon hasn’t been at Summit the past few days, and I don’t really feel like I have any right to ask where he’s been via text. I guess his training is over, and no one’s called out sick, so it would make sense that he isn’t there.
A goodbye or a heads-up would have been nice, though. I got used to seeing him…and although the coffee and hot chocolate were nice, it’s his company I miss the most.
The day drags on, but tonight is opening night, and I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t help but wonder if Talon will actually make an appearance. He doesn’t seem like the type to say something and not follow through, but I could also understand if he’s forgotten.
By the time I make my way to the theater, my whole body is buzzing as I channel my character and work on vocal exercises, preparing to project for the crowd. Not even fifteen seconds later, though, my mind has already wandered back to Talon.
What will his reaction be when he finds out the play is a queer romance about a man who discovers his best friend is gay and shuns him, only to realize his hatred of his friend stemmed from his hatred of himself because he’s not yet come to terms with his own sexuality, and he discovers he’s been in love with his best friend the entire time?
Pulling into the lot, adrenaline is coursing through my veins. It’s time to tune Talon out and focus on becoming Nathaniel Martin.
I’m greeted by the wide smiles of my co-stars as I enter backstage.
“Zeke! You ready for this?” Cordelia asks with a bright smile. She plays the role of my best friend’s little sister. The cast for this show is truly great, and I wish I had more freedom in my life to get to know them. We talk some at rehearsals, but it’s mostly scene-related stuff.
I know several of the actors and actresses are good friends outside of these walls, a couple of them are even dating, but between Summit’s demands on my time, Derek’s demands on my body, and acting’s demands on my mind, I’ve really got nothing left to offer these people outside of the roles I play.
“So ready,” I confirm.
“Oh, by the way, Sherry told me there was a delivery for you at the front desk. I grabbed it and put it on your vanity,” Cordelia adds before moving down the hall.
For the briefest of seconds, I wonder if Derek’s recent change of heart and uptick in his mood has led to him actually giving a shit about this part of my life.
Until I see the card sitting on top of a coffee cup.
Zeke,
I already know you’re going to do great, but I wanted to tell you to ‘break a leg’ before the show. Hope it’s still warm. Can’t wait to see you in action tonight.
-Talon
How…? When…? I have so many questions, but at least he answered one.
Talon will be here. Perhaps that should make me even more nervous, but oddly, it calms my anxiety, and I begin going through the motions of getting ready for my performance while sipping my coffee, smiling at the flavor.
Two creams, one sugar, just how I like it.