Chapter 13
Talon
If I hadn’t already known I hated Derek with a passion, I’d know it now. I can smell his narcissism a mile away. I’m usually better at holding my tongue, but watching him kiss Zeke as if he actually cares about his well-being has me desperate to pick a fight.
“If tonight’s all about him, why weren’t you in the audience?
” I ask, taking a casual sip of my Prosecco.
It’s a total stab in the dark, but when I saw Zeke walk into the pub without him, I was pretty confident it was because Derek couldn’t be bothered to come show his support.
I can’t see the asshole’s face because he’s on Zeke’s other side, but I feel the energy shift at the table.
Eloise must feel it too because she whispers, “What are you doing?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I had somewhere else I needed to be tonight,” Derek answers calmly, his tone dripping with disdain. “Zeke knows I support him. Don’t you?” he asks the man next to me.
I watch as Zeke gives him a very strained, very fake smile. “Of course.”
Derek remains glued to Zeke’s side, even offering to buy him another drink, which Zeke declines. Derek maintains a sickeningly jovial attitude toward everyone at the table—except me, of course—and I’m both disgusted and amazed at how easily they all buy it.
Can they not see how uncomfortable Zeke is?
He gave an incredible performance on that stage tonight, but he can’t hide his true discomfort behind his skill as an actor. His body is clearly braced for impact, even if I’m the only one who notices.
Pushing my chair back, I turn to face him.
“Zeke, can I talk to you for a minute?” He winces, and my eyes fly to Derek’s hand where his fingers are pinching Zeke’s side.
Before either of them can say anything, I taunt Derek further, refusing to back down.
“What’s the matter, Derek? Not secure enough to let him talk to another man without your hovering? ”
Derek’s mask slips.
It’s only down a second, but I see the fury in his eyes. The barely contained rage, and suddenly, I’m fucking terrified for Zeke. It’s that fear that has me changing course.
“Actually, you know what? I think a conversation with you would prove to be more beneficial,” I say.
“I’m not sure what we could possibly have to discuss, Talon. I really don’t know you, and as you can see, I’m simply here to celebrate my boyfriend’s opening night. Please stop trying to make a scene.”
Eloise’s hand lands on my biceps, her lips at my ear.
“Maybe we should go.”
“I’m not leaving until I have a private word with either you or him,” I say, pointing to Zeke. I’m answering Eloise, but my eye contact makes it clear I’m talking to Derek. “You decide.”
The coward removes his arm from Zeke’s waist, downs the drink I paid for, and nods his head at Zeke.
“Go.” Looking at me, he says, “You have two minutes, and he’ll tell me everything you say anyway, so don’t count on it being private.
” I help Zeke up because his legs are wobbly despite his efforts to hide it.
As we walk away from the group, I hear Derek address the table. “Sorry about him.”
Eloise can hold her own, and I’ll count on her to tell me the rest of what’s said in my absence.
When Zeke and I are alone at the end of the bar, I drop my voice and dive in.
“Zeke, do you want to go home with Derek?”
“Please don’t do this. Not here,” Zeke begs. “I just wanted one night to be normal. To be happy. To pretend that my life was like everyone else’s.”
I’m two seconds away from going on a rampage and smashing every bone in Derek’s face.
“Is that a yes, then?” I manage to grind out. Zeke stays quiet, telling me everything I need to know. “Zeke, don’t do it. That guy is trash. Come with me. You can stay as long as you’d like. I have plenty of room,” I say, begging him to agree.
“I’ll be fine,” he says, lying to my face. “His bark is worse than his bite.”
I don’t believe that for a second, mostly because Zeke won’t look at me as he says it.
Needing to touch him, I place a finger under his chin and raise his head. Still, he refuses to meet my gaze, looking off to the side instead of at me.
“Zeke, look at me,” I say. When his glassy eyes collide with mine, I can’t help but use my thumb to pull that full bottom lip from between his teeth before he makes it bleed. I’m startled at the touch because it’s so fucking soft. “Please come with me. Be done with him.”
“I can’t,” he says in a broken whisper.
“Why not?”
“Because I have nothing to offer you, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you ever looked at me the way he does.”
His words eviscerate me.
“Zeke, I’m not asking for anything in return.”
“And I’m not asking for anything at all,” he says sadly.
This whole situation feels surreal because usually, I have to ask for everything in return.
My previous girlfriends craved my wallet and gave me their bodies, but withheld their affection; the one thing I’ve always wanted more than anything.
The one thing I’m wired to seek. Now, I’m literally dying for Zeke to take my money, and I need nothing from him other than to know he’s safe.
I would go out right now and buy him his own house, but the man won’t even accept a glass of Prosecco paid for with my dime.
I’ve tasted what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his affection. I still think about the night of the Christmas party and the way his hand felt in mine. How nice it was just sitting with him in the dark. That picture of us on my phone has been opened more times than I can count.
It hurts like hell that the one person I want to give the world to is the only person who refuses to take it.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask.
Zeke looks over my shoulder and starts moving past me.
“Time’s up,” he says. “You should go.”
And then he’s gone, moving back into the space of a man who doesn’t appreciate the gentle, beautiful soul sitting next to him.
I don’t bother with goodbyes, not trusting myself in Derek’s presence. I catch Eloise’s eye and motion toward the door. By the time she joins me outside, I’m pacing on the sidewalk, trying to burn off this raging-bull energy.
“Tal, what the hell is going on?” she asks, her voice full of concern.
I’m normally so chill, so calm, so even-keeled under pressure…but I’ve never felt like this. My chest is tight, my hands are shaking, and it’s hard to breathe.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Give me your keys; I don’t think you can drive in this condition,” she says, holding out her hand.
Leaving feels wrong, like I’m abandoning him.
But then I become even more pissed off because he chose to stay.
Eloise hands me her phone.
“Type in your address, then start talking,” she commands.
My fingers continue to tremble as I hit the keys, making it take far longer than necessary to punch in the address correctly.
“I don’t know what to say,” I tell her, words finally falling from my lips.
“Everything that’s on your mind. It’s clear there’s a lot going on up there,” she says, pulling onto the main road.
My skin itches with the desire to turn back, yank Zeke out of Derek’s grasp, and strap him to a chair until I’ve talked sense into him. But since that would definitely be crossing the line into crazy-town, I unleash my thoughts on my sister instead.
“His boyfriend is a manipulative motherfucking cocksucker, and I’m pissed Zeke won’t leave him!” I yell, the truth finally spewing from my mouth as though it were an active volcano.
“Wow, those are some choice words, Mr. Devereaux,” my sister says gently. “How many times have you met Derek?”
I think back through our interactions.
“That was only the second time.”
Eloise’s eyes cut to me before returning to the road.
“Only the second time? Jesus, what was the first meeting like?”
“Derek came up to Summit. I walked up on him pinning Zeke against the side of the building,” I recall, hating that I remember it so vividly. Hating the way it made me feel. Hating him.
“Pinning him like…”
“I don’t know, El!” I yell again, agitated and frustrated over my lack of control. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” I apologize and try to clarify. “Pinned like they had just been making out or something, but Derek was being cruel when I showed up, so I told him to cut it out.”
“Tal, you can’t save everyone,” she says.
“I don’t want to save everyone,” I say angrily. “I want to save him,” I admit out loud for the first time.
“Why him?” she asks, forcing my brain to process despite my emotional state.
“Jesus, what is this? An interrogation?” I fire moodily, crossing my arms over my chest, looking out the window.
“Why him, Talon?” she repeats.
“Because he needs it,” I finally answer.
“And?” she prompts.
“What do you mean and?”
“Dig deep here, Tal.”
“What are you getting at, El?” I ask, not in the mood for an analytical approach, just wanting her to spit it the fuck out.
She shakes her head.
“You have to get there on your own, baby brother.”
I’d have already changed the subject if this conversation were happening with anyone other than Eloise. However, since it is her, I attempt to do as she asks, and I sit with what I’m feeling, trying to find words.
Finally, I say, “Zeke doesn’t look at me like I’m a bank account.
When he smiles at me, it isn’t for show; it’s genuine.
It’s because he thinks I’m funny, not because he’s trying to kiss my ass.
He’s so guarded, but every once in a while, he lets me in, and his world is dark, El.
He doesn’t have parents like ours—hell, I’m not sure he has parents at all.
He doesn’t have siblings like you and Lukas that he can go to when he’s drowning.
He’s trying so hard to make it on his own, and he just needs a leg up.
He just needs one fucking person in his corner… and I want to be that person.”
“He’s cute,” she says randomly, but the comment makes me smile anyway.
“Yeah. His eyes are gorgeous.” I take my phone from my pocket and pull up the picture I’ve seen a thousand times. It still takes my breath away. Holding it up, I tell her, “We took this at the Summit Christmas party.”
“That’s a great picture. You look happy,” she observes.
I take another look at the photo, realizing that for all the times I’ve seen it, I’ve never looked at myself.
“I do, don’t I?”
We stay silent after that until she pulls the Range Rover into my garage and kills the engine. As I place my hand on the door handle to get out, she stills me with a hand on my forearm.
When I look at her, she’s wearing an expression so serious that it has me concerned.
“Tal, I’m going to ask you something, and I don’t want you to answer right away, okay? I want you to give it some honest thought.”
“Um, okay?”
“Do you think maybe you feel so strongly about Derek because you have feelings for Zeke that extend beyond friendship?”
My response is immediate and automatic.
“El, he’s a guy.”
“I’m well aware of that, Talon,” she answers with no trace of judgment. “The question still stands.” She removes her hand from my arm, grabs her purse from behind my seat, and gets out of the SUV, leaving me dumbfounded in the passenger seat.