Chapter 32 - Gaetano
Gaetano
I wake up on the floor. The cold stone seeps through the blanket, despite the gentle crackling of the fireplace I conjured before we fell asleep.
My muscles ache with exhaustion and excess.
My blood flows in peace, without that usual cocktail of boredom and anxiety that pulses through me after each act of pleasure.
I reach out for her. My proof that yesterday wasn’t just an illusion. But my fingers close on nothing but air.
I jolt upright and there she is, standing by the window. Heels on, already in her blue dress, watching the courtyard.
My heart stills. Shit.
I rise at once, conjuring clothes over my naked body to cover the runes. I don’t want to remind her any more of what I am. I rush to her, my instinct screaming it’s already too late.
“Nicole…”
She doesn’t reply. Her face is frozen into a marble mask, reminding me of a doll stripped of all emotion. I recognize that vacant expression. It shows up when someone feels a fear so overwhelming that they no longer know how to show it.
I glance out the window, hoping she saw something different. But… no. It’s there.
The graveyard.
Two hundred eighty-nine graves, each marked by a stone cross, lined up in neat rows. No names, only numbers. And ten freshly dug holes with open coffins, waiting for the new harvests. One of them is meant for her.
“Nicole, say something.” I grip her elbow.
She stiffens, pale as parchment, and that terrifies me more than if she had screamed or cried.
You’re a witcher, my consciousness hisses. That’s the real you. What the hell did you think would happen when you stripped away the illusions?
Finally, she parts her lips. “If I counted right… There are two hundred eighty-nine filled graves out there. Not a single one left open. At least… not until the two hundred and ninetieth.”
My whole being quakes at the thought that that grave—number two hundred and ninety—is waiting for her. Her, and no one else. A lump forms in my throat, almost choking me. “It’s true.”
She faces me, her voice eerily calm. “You’ve never… lost to a harvest before?”
From the window behind her, the graveyard seems to observe us. Once again, I realize how radiant Nicole is against the backdrop of my world. The air between us stretches, every second of silence pressing down. I won’t lie to her.
“Never,” I say.
Her throat moves as she swallows the truth. I’m sure she already suspects what it means. “Can you even be defeated in the game, Gaetano?”
My voice is hoarse and low, but without the faintest crack of hesitation. “I can’t be defeated. I create the game, and never allow for any loopholes.”
“So, the two trials I won…Did you let me win?”
“I did.”
The emptiness in her expression fractures. Her features contort with anguish, and her shoulders shake.
I reach for her, but she recoils. “Don’t touch me!” Her voice reverberates through the darkened walls, crawling up my spine and sinking straight into my heart. A crushing weight presses on my chest.
Her eyes overflow with tears. “Why did you do it? Why did you make me believe in myself, stand up to my father, when you knew my life would end anyway in just a few days?”
Blood pulses in my veins, thrumming with fear: this is the end of something real.
Why did I do it? The question echoes through my mind. Because I feel that she’s a part of me. Not a mark, but someone I’m meant to protect. If I voice it out loud, what would that change?
“I taught you to understand power,” I say.
The walls of the castle press me in as reality crashes through my bones.
I grip her elbow, my fingers digging into her soft skin.
I don’t care if it hurts. She tries to wrench away, but I don’t let her.
I need her to look at me and to see the truth in my eyes.
“This is real. My desire for you was never part of the game. It’s the only thing I never controlled. ”
She freezes beneath my grip, her upper lip curling to reveal her teeth.
“But you didn’t bother to mention that no matter what I do, I’m already doomed?
Did you enjoy watching me fight your illusions, believing that I stood a chance?
Watching hope blossom in me, empty and desperate, every time I thought I’d outwitted your tricks? ”
“I never meant to give you false hope, Nicole.”
She pushes my hand away. The moment we part, my bones turn to ice.
“Yeah, all you ever meant to do was to take my soul!” she screams.
My lips press into a line. The walls inside me shake. And for the first time, I look away. Just for a second. The unthinkable sprouts in my head, pushing, struggling to reach me.
I could let her win.
She whirls her head toward the wall with the tally marks. She frantically scans the numbers as if she’s reading a book—the story of my life. How ironic. I’ve lived for over five centuries, and it all comes down to a list of numbers.
One to two hundred and eighty-nine.
Two hundred eighty-nine souls I’ve imprisoned. Two hundred eighty-nine corpses I’ve collected. Two hundred eighty-nine shadows around me. And that’s not even half of the darkness that resides within me.
Still, that lightness fights and screams: I could let her win.
Tears shimmer in her eyes, but they don’t fall. And my heart clenches at the sight of her, standing tall, proud, and shattered all at once.
“You were right to fear stripping away the illusions. Now, I see why that woman cursed you.” I don’t flinch, though everything inside me recoils as if burned. I’ve survived centuries without remorse. And yet, her truth wounds deeper than any blade ever could.
Because she’s right.
“You don’t understand the magic, Nicole. If I don’t—”
“I want to leave this place and never see you again!” she screams, her voice so loud that the invisible veil holding back the shadows trembles. Her whole body shakes as tears pour down her cheeks.
I long to pull her into my arms, to comfort her, to kiss the anger from her lips.
“I want to leave this place and never see you again!” she repeats, the power in her voice fading.
Her pain strikes me so deeply that even the conjured flames in the hearth flicker uncertainly.
The anger rising within me isn’t aimed at her—it’s at the trap we’re both stuck in, two souls caught in opposite worlds.
I clench my fists, and the runes on my skin burn with fierce heat.
Yet, I can’t give her what I desperately want to.
Before I let myself consider the unthinkable, I raise my hand. “As you wish.”
I draw a circle in the air with my fingers, tearing open the space between us. A portal to her home shimmers into existence.
Just as she’s about to step through, I catch her wrist and pull her into me, hard. I hold her tight, not to stop her, but because it’s the only thing I can do. The only thing left.
She fights my hold with a defiance that cuts through me. Then she breaks free and rushes to the portal.
Bitterness wells up in my chest as she disappears.
Five centuries of calculated revenge.
And the only thing that matters is…I lost Nicole.
It’s either me or them.
But it never really felt like me, no matter how often I said it to find comfort.