Chapter 39 Nicole #2
I draw a breath. This call might’ve been a mistake. “But… did you ever feel his presence? I mean, like when he was invisible, and you sensed he was in the room?”
“What kind of nonsense are you spewing, girl?”
I exhale. “I… sometimes, I feel him nearby. Even when I can’t see him. Even when he’s not here. It’s just… scent, pressure, some kind of… feeling?”
“No. I never felt anything similar to that.”
My heart skips a beat. “Nothing? No sense at all when he was close?”
“Just arousal. But for that, you don’t need a sixth sense.”
Her words leave me speechless.
“That’s it?” she adds impatiently.
“Yes… Thank you.”
“Don’t. And don’t you dare try to contact me from the Beyond.”
I frown. “Uh… I wasn’t planning to?” She’s already hung up.
The call only fuels the storm of emotions raging inside me. Sensing Gaetano close doesn’t help. His words echoing in my head make it even worse. The only thing you need to know is that you’re safe.
After everything I’ve learned, why do I still let him mess with my mind?
I grab Daria’s spare key and head out. There’s a place I have to visit.
* * *
I stroll beneath the linden trees, their scent a familiar reminder of childhood.
At the end of the block is a playground.
I pass by it, and there it is—a massive gray building with four entrances and eight floors.
Somewhere in the panel of balconies lie memories from my earliest years.
This is where we spent that warm Christmas—the last time we ever posed for a photo like a happy family.
I close my eyes, drifting back to that moment effortlessly.
“We don’t need to live like royalty to be happy. What matters is having enough,” my mother says, her gaze sweeping over the beautifully arranged, abundant table.
Back then, she smiled more often. Grandma, already too frail, raises her glass in a toast. My uncle and aunt are also present, before they left the country for good. Aunt Faith is pregnant with my cousin Galya. My father simply nods and sips his wine.
Now, the memory plays more vivid than before. And different.
“We don’t need to live like royalty to be happy…” The sentence trails off, as if she’s waiting for someone to confirm it. As if she wants to say, “Right?” Instead, she glances at my father. He doesn’t respond, so she adds, her voice a little less certain, “What matters is having enough.”
I press my lips together. We were never a happy family. Despite the comfort and luxuries we’ve enjoyed over the past years, we’ve never felt truly satisfied.
The only time I ever felt like I had enough was with Gaetano, in the castle.
It was the only time in my life I felt beautiful enough, smart enough, satisfied enough with who I am.
The one time I felt I had enough of everything that truly matters.
And the irony? There hadn’t been a single luxurious item in sight.
* * *
I close the door to Daria’s place and step into the dining room. She’s still not back home. The hairs on my nape rise as what I’m about to do sinks in.
“Gaetano…” I whisper.
A subtle charge tickles my skin, causing goosebumps and thickening the silence. The shadows shake.
And then he’s there. His jaw is clenched, and the lines on his face are pulled tight. His dark gaze locks on mine as if he’s looking for a clue.
He takes one step forward. Then stops.
And I realize that I’m not the only one who’s afraid of what comes next.
This time, I look at him without the filter of anger. Since I’ve seen the castle and the harvests, the runes on his body take on a darker, different meaning. And they don’t decrease my attraction to him in the slightest.
Still, I keep my distance. Fear creeps beneath my skin like it did the first time I sensed his presence. Now, it’s not because of him—it’s because of my own decision.
“Maybe I’m making yet another huge mistake by agreeing to talk to you,” I say. “But I’ll lose my mind if I don’t.”
His features twist as if he’s in pain. “Nicole…”
“You were here when my father came, weren’t you?”
He nods. “I couldn’t stay away when I sensed danger. It’s stronger than I am.”
Yes, maybe I am a fool, but the way he looks at me… again. As if he truly cares for me. Such a stark contrast from Branimir’s sweeping gaze. From my father’s burning hatred. From everyone else’s fakeness.
My heart swells with a warmth I shouldn’t feel in his presence. Yet, here I am, unable to tear my eyes away from him. “Thank you for not stepping in.”
His features darken. “I would’ve, if you couldn’t handle it. I needed to know you could. For when I’m not around.”
I have to fight the urge to close the distance between us. “You’re really going to lose the game because of me?”
His expression doesn’t even flicker. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
I edge toward him. With each step, his heat draws me in closer. His presence is enough to make me lose my bearings. It feels like coming home. “I don’t know what to think about everything you’ve told me…If you lose the game, what does that mean for you?”
Shadows wash over his face, aging him in an instant. “It means I won’t fulfill the condition that would set me free. I won’t gather three hundred harvests without a single loss. And I’ll remain a prisoner of the castle forever. No more contracts. No more harvests.”
“Will you be able to leave it?”
His lips twist with a bitterness I can feel. “No. Unfortunately, no.”
Air suddenly catches in my lungs. “And I’ll never see you again?”
“No one will ever see me again.” His chest rises with a slow breath.
Time stops as we stare at each other. His words sink in, settle deep, and take root.
Maybe it’s the pressure of time—on me, on both of us.
Maybe it’s the collapse of all the illusions I’ve carried my entire life.
Or maybe it’s just him…and the way I feel when I’m near him.
Whatever it is, it helps me decide. And if I’m wrong, I’d rather burn at the stake than spend my last days on Daria’s couch like some kind of parasite.
“So… what does that make us?”
He stiffens, pupils dilating. “Whatever you want.”
“I…” A shiver runs through me. I’m afraid. I’m also alive. For the first time in days, a light breaks through the darkness inside me. I could be leaping straight into the fire—again—but still… “I’d like to spend some more time with you.”
I see the moment it registers in his eyes that I’m willing to believe him. His face softens, brightens, and he closes the distance between us. He reaches for me, but his hand hesitates in midair. “I missed you,” he says.
I swallow the words pressing against my throat—that these last few days have been the cruelest of my life. That I was given wings, only to have them ripped away, along with half my heart. I can admit this, now, at least to myself.
He closes the remaining distance between us and pulls me into his arms. My body relaxes, melting into him.
I breathe in his scent and let his warmth surround me.
It feels so good. How can I be this attracted to someone I barely know?
He’s so familiar, while most of the people I’ve known my whole life are just strangers.
“Gaetano,” I say against his chest.
“Yes, baroness?”
He’s seen me hurt and stripped of everything. But I haven’t seen enough of him. “Tell me about your family.”
His breath catches, and for a moment he falls silent. Then he leans in. “How about I show you?”