Chapter 25
It was snowing again. Thick flakes drifted past the window, stark against the dark city backdrop.
Harper had been staring at it for several minutes. Letting her focus jump from one falling snowflake to the next, following it until it vanished from view.
Maybe she should count them instead. That would take more focus. And maybe, that way, her brain would stop shining a spotlight on the one frustrating thought that had turned into a mantra over the past few hours.
Don’t check your phone. Do not check your phone.
“Harper?”
She snapped her head away from the window. “Sorry, what?”
“Can you pass me that, please?” Patricia gestured at the contract lying on the coffee table. “I want to read it over again.”
Harper rolled her eyes, handing over the paperwork. “You need to learn when to stop. The Chains getting you that shark of a lawyer means you don’t have to deal with this anymore.”
“I am aware.” Patricia leaned back in her armchair as she scanned the paper. “But you can never be too prepared.”
Shaking her head, Harper returned her gaze to the falling snowflakes.
Nell was on her first date with Casey, so Harper had sought refuge at Patricia’s rather than be alone.
Her own place was too quiet, too empty, and too big, frankly.
Compared to what she’d gotten used to these past few months, her and Nell’s new apartment was big enough to get lost in.
Nell had been gone for a few hours now. Which meant there might be an update in their group chat, reporting how the date was going. A completely justified reason to check her phone, and then, while she was at it, she might as well see if Maya had—
No, Harper. Do not check your fucking phone.
“I still can’t believe they’d treat you like that,” Evie said. She was sitting next to Harper on the couch. “Mason cut ties with his parents for a reason. They don’t have the right to any of this.”
Patricia took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before sighing it out. Harper did the same, though her face being mostly turned away meant no one saw.
She remembered every detail of that awful day. How Patricia had answered the phone with a smile and then her expression had filled with shock. Then denial. Then, finally, chilling calm.
She hadn’t even cried. Even when Lucas was told and he was weeping in her arms, she didn’t shed a tear.
Her breakdown hadn’t come until later, at the funeral, and the only reason Harper knew it happened was because she’d been looking for a private place to have a cry of her own when she’d found Patricia bawling her eyes out.
“A lot of things happened that shouldn’t,” Patricia said, leafing through the papers. “If this only affected me, I would have let them take whatever they wanted. But they came after Lucas. They’re not getting away with that.”
She glanced at Evie, smiling. “Even though he isn’t missing much right now.”
Evie smiled, too, and brushed Lucas’ thick curls out of his face. He was curled up under a blanket, eyes closed and head resting in her lap.
Harper wasn’t the only one dealing with an empty apartment. Since Natalya was the only Regent in town, she needed to focus on governing, and Evie didn’t want to distract her from her duties.
Here, she was at ease. Happy. And unlike usual, her eyes hadn’t gone to Harper’s neck once.
Harper’s phone vibrated against the coffee table. She grabbed it before the sound was even done, lips moving as she read through the notification.
Tension formed in her stomach. She tossed the phone back onto the table.
“Seems like the date went well. Nell is staying at Casey’s tonight.”
Evie’s smile fell, and Patricia’s brows furrowed.
“Really?” Patricia said. “That’s… fast.”
Harper began a tally in her head as she counted the fucking snowflakes.
“Yeah. Fast.”
“Maybe it’s a good sign,” Evie said. “They probably just hit it off. If it’s been over a year, I can’t say I’m surprised. I don’t remember Nell ever being single for that long.”
Patricia’s frown faded, and she returned her attention to the stack of papers in her lap, but Harper couldn’t summon the same ease. Or any ease. And her having a bad feeling about Nell’s dating habits wasn’t to blame, either.
It had been a week. A week since Maya had shown up at the Lotus.
Since she had left the city to play guard dog against a group of killer cops.
A long, sleepless, agonizing week where the only contact they’d had was a one-sided text thread.
One Maya added to every day, and which Harper hadn’t responded to at all.
And why should she? Those messages were just there as a courtesy. She didn’t care if Harper read them, so Harper shouldn’t care about them. Or that the gap between the updates had grown.
That line of thinking never lasted longer than a few minutes. Not when she kept rereading the messages to the point of compulsion.
Not when she constantly had to stop herself from checking her phone for new texts.
“Everything okay, Harper?” Patricia said, brows furrowed again. Harper gritted her teeth.
“I’m great. Why wouldn’t I be great? Everything is just wonderful right now.”
That didn’t exactly soften Patricia’s stern expression. After a moment of staring, her gaze feeling like it was making burr holes in Harper’s skull, she put down the paperwork and turned towards Evie.
“It’s getting late. Mind getting Lucas to bed? I fear we’ll get into an argument if I try.”
Evie roused Lucas with a gentle shake. He grumbled sleepily, the noise turning into a yawn.
Whenever Evie was around, he had been glued to her side. She’d raised him almost as much as his parents, and loved doing it, too. Harper had always assumed she would end up with a gaggle of children of her own someday.
But kids and greater fiends didn’t mix. Though children were immune to most fiendish powers until they reached maturity, demons still affected them. Rather than feeling envy, anger, or any other emotion born of Sin, they just experienced innate terror instead.
Once Lucas and Evie were gone, Patricia’s frown deepened.
“Something’s wrong. Tell me.”
Harper crossed her arms. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.”
“Tired?”
“Yes. Tired. And annoyed, too, since I have to deal with pointless questions on top of it.”
Harper turned away fully. Just looking at Patricia was a recipe for disaster. She could extract secrets through simple eye contact.
Sighing, Patricia moved to the couch.
“Harper…”
Harper scowled at the falling snow. “Patricia.”
“Don’t do that. Being unpleasant won’t help anything.”
“I didn’t ask for help. Or for a lecture, which I feel like this is turning into. Nothing is wrong. And even if there was, it would be none of your business. You’re not my mother. Stop acting like you are.”
A mean comment. Cruel, in fact. Patricia had been more than a mother to her. Had given her more grace, more kindness, more love than Harriet Montgomery ever bothered with. For whatever fucking reason.
Patricia had enough on her plate. She shouldn’t have the patience to deal with additional bullshit. She should turn all that caring attention onto someone who might actually appreciate it.
But she kept it focused. Instead of raising her voice or walking away or anything reasonable like that, she put her arms around Harper’s shoulders. Pulling her into a hug.
“You lashing out won’t get rid of me,” Patricia said softly. “I know you’re in pain. You’re not hiding it well. But that isn’t a justified reason for hurting other people. Talk to me. Tell me what hurts.”
The knot writhing in Harper’s chest jumped into her throat, starting a burn behind her eyes.
Everything hurt. Her heart, her stomach, her thoughts. Since they were surrounded by uncertainty, they had branched towards countless hypotheticals, with one of them being so constant it was starting to feel true.
Distance offered perspective. The kind that could have accelerated the conclusion everyone eventually came to. That Harper was too much trouble to be worth it.
“I haven’t heard from Maya today,” Harper mumbled. “She always sends at least one text. But so far, there’s been nothing.”
Because she doesn’t give a shit about you. How could she? When all you do is cause problems, you fucking idiot.
Harper leaned out of Patricia’s arms.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s just busy. Or she couldn’t be bothered to send me an update. Either way, I don’t care.”
Patricia brushed a lock of hair behind Harper’s ear. “I’m guessing you haven’t updated her either. Have you?”
A simple question. One that hit like a punch to the stomach. She may have erected a spiky defense around her heart, but it was only a solid kick away from collapsing.
She should have texted. Had almost done it a few times, but now too much time had passed and she didn’t know how to type out an appropriate explanation. When writing, the jumbled mess of words never quite matched what she wanted to say.
“Why does it even matter to you?” Harper muttered. “I figured you didn’t approve. No one does. Other than Nell, and she’s lost in the clouds right now.”
“I didn’t approve. Bringing a fling into the workplace causes problems for everyone, and I didn’t appreciate that. But my disapproval was short-lived. Especially after the talk I had with Maya at the Lotus. After I learned that this is rather serious.”
Harper’s eyes widened. “She told you that?”
“She told me a lot of things. Assuring things, mostly.”
“Like what?” Harper said, voice bright with eagerness. Patricia offered a knowing smile.
“That isn’t the tone of someone who doesn’t care.” She caressed Harper’s cheek. “You found something good. That’s rare. And more importantly, it’s something you’re allowed to have. Before you lie again and insist that you don’t care, try talking to Maya first.”