Chapter 42
Spring had finally come around. Though frost still clung to the ground here and there, the rising temperature now invited rain rather than snow.
Chicago had been dealing with gray skies and harsh winds for several days, but that afternoon—right as Harper left her apartment and scaled a few floors—it had taken a turn.
The weather was mellow and warm; the sun illuminating the city in bright gold.
“Binoculars!” Lucas beamed as he carefully unwrapped the present. He looked up at Patricia, eyes wide. “But… last Christmas, you said we couldn’t afford them.”
“We can now.” She caressed the side of his head. “Are they the right ones?”
Lucas didn’t bother with an answer. He shot up from the chair and gave his mom a tight hug, showing none of the gentleness he’d just given the wrapping paper.
“They’re perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
His excitement was infectious enough that Harper chuckled. As did most of the other guests. Just a year before, when Lucas turned eight, there had only been three people watching as he opened his presents.
Now, that number had doubled. Evie and Cedric were sitting at the places of honor on either side of Lucas.
Patricia stood behind him as he went through his pile of presents, and Nell was putting the finishing touches on a birthday cake in the kitchen.
And the last addition was sitting at the end of the dining table, holding Harper’s hand.
“Are we missing someone?” Maya gestured at the empty chair opposite hers. A plate and a glass had been set out.
“Kind of.” Harper lowered her voice. “That’s Mason’s seat. Lucas wanted his dad to have a chair of his own.”
Maya’s shoulders fell, but the somberness vanished when Lucas opened yet another gift. A tent and sleeping bag from Evie, joining the growing heap of scout equipment that was the theme of these birthday presents.
While none of them knew the first thing about the great outdoors, plenty of people among the Chains did. Lucas was getting the best of the best.
“Are you ready for the Lotus opening?” Maya asked, reclaiming Harper’s attention. “It’s only a few days from now.”
“I’m excited about it. Trish is even being gracious and is allowing partners to show up to the staff party. It’s your only chance to see it in action.”
“I know. I’ll have to argue that point with Aleksander when I see him tonight. Politics never ends.”
In the weeks since they got back to Chicago, Maya had barely been able to sit down. After they escaped the lycanthrope settlement and the Chains rolled in, a few wolves had gotten away. They’d been yapping about the unkillable Chains daywalker ever since.
Maya’s reputation was grander than ever. But unlike before, she no longer detested its presence. Perhaps because the way people at Court were whispering about her was more filled with awe than terror, but that wasn’t the only reason.
She just rested in it now. As though her reputation was a muscle that she’d finally figured out how to use. From what Harper had heard, whenever Aleksander brought Maya with him to investigate minor border troubles, the conflicts often fizzled out before they even arrived.
But she didn’t exactly seem restful now. Maya’s hold on her hand had tightened slightly.
“Are you ready for it?” Harper asked. “The Lotus opening, I mean.”
Only a few of her previous relationships had survived that type of question.
The one clarifying that this part of Harper wouldn’t change, and though Maya had shown no signs of disapproval before, these past few days she’d been off.
Had been quiet and even more gentle than usual, constantly shooting glances in Harper’s direction.
“Not sure,” Maya admitted. “It depends on how you’re feeling.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m thinking about what happened. At the lycanthrope camp.” Maya’s lips tensed into a thin line. “With what he did to you… It would make sense if that had changed things. It did for Evie, after all. But you’ve been acting the same as always. Haven’t said anything, either.”
Harper stared at her. It would be a lie to say that she hadn’t been rattled by what happened, but it wasn’t a persistent feeling. The terror and powerlessness she’d felt were tied to a single individual, and since that person was dead, the feelings were so distant that she often forgot about them.
She’d actually been excited about the Lotus opening. It was an arena where she would get to feel confident. A place where she was in charge and got to feel desired, on her terms and no one else’s.
And Maya had spent days walking on eggshells because she was worried.
“You aren’t jealous?” Harper couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice. Maya gave her a soft smile.
“Nothing that happens at the Lotus could make me jealous. Your body is yours. What you do with it is your choice. As long as you have that choice, there’s nothing for me to be upset about.
” She toyed with a strand of Harper’s pink hair.
“I know who I fell in love with. I just want to make sure she’s doing okay. ”
That was the kind of comment Harper would have dismissed not that long ago. Would have pivoted away from, because the fuzzy feeling it summoned was too nice to properly settle in.
Now, she only did it a little.
Harper grinned. “You’re still sappy, you know that?”
“Am I getting great at it yet?”
“You’re getting very close. And I’m fine, I promise.
What happened didn’t stick deep like that.
The only thing still affecting me is when I think about picking up a gun, or any weapon, really.
That still makes me nauseous.” Harper joined their fingers together.
“If I ever feel wrong about it, you’ll be the first to know.
I don’t think I could hide it if I tried. ”
Maya’s gaze softened, followed by her thumb drawing aimless patterns against her skin. Right as her eyes dropped, resting on Harper’s lips, an excited yell cut through the moment.
“No way!” Lucas held up his newest acquisition. A pocketknife with a dark wooden handle. “But… But I thought—”
“We asked your mom, and she said you could have it.” Maya got to her feet, kissing Harper’s hand before moving up next to Lucas. “However, it has conditions. A knife like that comes with responsibility. You need to take good care of it.”
Maya went into a detailed explanation of how to clean and maintain the blade, one Lucas was enraptured by. He’d only needed to meet her once before bestowing her with the highest praise a child his age could offer. He’d described her as ‘cool.’
A hand settled on her shoulder, and when Harper looked up, she found Patricia standing next to her. Her eyes were settled on Lucas, and though the corners of her mouth pointed upwards, her smile didn’t reach further than that.
“You okay?” Harper asked as Patricia sat down next to her. “Today can’t be easy. Even if it’s a happy occasion.”
“I’m fine. I just forgot what that smile looked like.”
Patricia looked towards the end of the table, eyes falling on Evie. Maya had finished her lecture and was now chatting with her as Lucas and Cedric inspected all the presents.
Evie laughed. Was grinning and talking with the same ease as she would with anyone else. The tension from only a few weeks before was all gone, having faded into obscurity.
“I didn’t,” Harper said. “She looks just like I remembered her. Even when I was trying not to.”
“I’m not talking about Evie.” Patricia took Harper’s hand. “You haven’t smiled like this in a long time. This brightly. It’s nice to see.”
It was hard not to smile, frankly. The hardest thing about the past few weeks was getting used to how slow and calm everything was. To not be constantly on guard against devastating emergencies.
But Evie had the right of it there. She just needed practice. And every day she hadn’t felt the need to lash out, it became a little easier to accept as common.
“Maybe we should look for someone that makes you smile,” Harper said. “This is a new place. A fresh start, of sorts. You’re allowed to be happy too, you know.”
Patricia glanced towards the empty chair across the table, dark eyes unfocusing.
“I’m not ready for that kind of happiness yet. Seeing my girls experience it is more than enough.” Her weak smile tilted into a smirk. “Regarding that, I need to talk to you about something.”
Habit made Harper stiffen. “Oh?”
“Like all partners, Maya is, of course, invited to the opening party at the Lotus. But after that, I trust you’ll stick to the rules and keep her outside the walls. I don’t want a repeat of what happened in that private room.”
Harper frowned. Then her stomach dropped, along with her jaw.
“Wait, you… No. You knew we were in there?”
“Of course. I left the light on, didn’t I?
” The amusement glinting in Patricia’s eyes shifted into sincerity.
“I had a feeling about her the moment she walked into my office. Same as when I first met you. A certainty that the fire you both carry was more warm than destructive. She’s good for you.
And you’re good for her. Right now, that’s all the happiness I need. ”
Patricia put her arms around her, hugging her tight. “I love you, Harper. We all do. Never forget that.”
Harper was grateful that she was facing away from the guests and for the aid of Patricia’s shoulder. She couldn’t do anything against the tears in her eyes without breaking the embrace, and in that moment, no force on earth could have made her do so.
She thought back. To that first day she and Maya spent together, when she’d said it could be hard to recognize when something felt right when you’d grown up surrounded by people who made you feel wrong.
Nothing felt more right than this. Harper sniffled and leaned into the embrace.
“I love you, too.”