Chapter 15 #2
His eyes grow glassy, and he looks away, jaw clenched tight. “I’ve failed her, Amelia,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “All these years, I resented her… I made her the villain, and last night I learned she’s been the victim.”
“I don’t understand.”
His eyes flit to mine. “Since my mother died, I’ve been the self-proclaimed fixer. The guy who holds everything and everyone together. But I can’t fix the past.”
“That sounds very ominous, Maddox.”
He leans his elbows on his thighs and hangs his head. “I’m sorry. You’re right, but it’s not my story to tell.” He turns his head. “I’m so fucking tired, Amelia. Everything is a fight, and I’m just fucking depleted.”
I set my can on the coffee table and inch closer to him. “Then stop fighting.”
“I’m trying. I told Della I won’t force her to sell her share of the ranch.”
“That’s good, right?”
He shrugs. “I think it’s a step in the right direction, but I don’t know what that means for the deal with the Fallen Demons. What’s the point in allowing her to keep her share if we’re going to lose the ranch in the end?”
“You don’t know that. I don’t know much about the club, but I can’t imagine they’d rescind their offer. Shadow wouldn’t let that happen.”
“It might not be his choice.”
I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I remain silent. Dylan’s voice sounds from down the hall, and Maddox’s gaze drifts in that direction.
“He’s playing a video game with his friends from school. It can get intense at times.”
“Why don’t you want me around him?” He asks suddenly, his voice soft but direct. “You didn’t mind me taking him into the bar the night Russell pulled that stunt.”
The question catches me off guard, and I untuck my legs from under me and pull them up to my chest, winding my arms around my knees.
“I didn’t have much of a choice. I didn’t want him to witness anything more than he already had, and I knew if you didn’t take him inside, he wouldn’t leave me alone with his dad.”
Maddox shifts on the couch, his eye finding mine. “Amelia, I’m not asking to be around him just for the hell of it.”
I sigh, no part of me wanting to have this conversation. “Maddox, it’s not that simple.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“I don’t want him to get hurt. His father has done enough of that. Every broken promise, all the times he showed up drunk or high. The missed birthdays. It’s all left scars.”
“I’m not Russell,” he says firmly. “I would never hurt you or your son.”
“Wouldn’t you?” I volley. “I know what it’s like to get close to you, and I know how crippling it is to be pushed aside by you. To be discarded like a piece of trash. I won’t allow my son to feel that pain.”
His jaw tightens, a muscle ticking beneath his sun-kissed skin.
“Let’s get something straight for once and for all.
I didn’t discard you like you were trash.
I thought the world of you, and I selfishly wanted to keep you for myself, but my conscience wouldn’t allow that.
I thought letting you go would give you a chance to live a better life.
That you could chase your dreams just like my sister was about to. ”
“You were the only dream I had!”
The words spill from my lips before I can stop them. I didn’t have many ambitions, but I thought I had him, and that was enough for me back then. It was everything.
“I saw our future so clearly. You and I working your ranch, raising babies, loving each other through the highs and lows. That was the fucking dream.”
His face softens, his arm stretching across the couch. He lays his hand on top of my knee, but I swat it away.
“Don’t.”
“Amelia, it can still be the dream.”
I shake my head. “No, it can’t. That dream is dead and buried, Maddox.” I glance toward the hallway before bringing my gaze back to him. “It can’t be resurrected just because we had sex a couple of times.”
“You think it’s just that easy?” He snaps. “I can’t turn off what I feel for you.”
“You did it once.”
“You keep saying that, but what I felt for you never diminished. I’ve been pining for you for fucking years.
Watching you marry another man and have his child destroyed me.
Every time I saw the two of you in passing gutted me because you both should’ve been mine.
And now I’ve had you.” He lowers his voice, but the look in his eyes intensifies.
“Now I know what it feels like to be inside you. How it feels to have you come apart around me. The look on your face when you come. The sounds you make.” He closes his eyes for a second.
“God, those fucking sounds. I can’t erase any of it from my mind, and I don’t want to.
” He swallows hard, his eyes locking with mine once again.
“Just like I can’t erase the words you said to me when you confessed you would’ve left your husband if I had come to you at any point of your marriage.
I want to be with you, Amelia. I want to get to know Dylan and be a constant in his life, someone he can rely on.
Give me a chance to be the man I should’ve been all along. ”
The weight of his words—of what he’s asking of me—it terrifies me.
It’s too much.
Too fast.
“I think you should leave,” I say, standing up.
He stares at me for a long moment before rising to his full height.
He turns for the door but stops midway. “You can keep pushing me away, but I’m not giving up on you.
I’m a fighter, Amelia, and its high time someone fought for you.
That dream isn’t dead. You just have to let it take flight.
We can be so good together. I can see it too.
You and I on the ranch, building something spectacular.
You want more babies? I’ll give you all the babies you want. ”
God.
This man.
He’s killing me.
The door to Dylan’s bedroom creaks open and a moment later he appears in the hallway. “Maddox?”
Fuck.
Maddox’s hand goes still on the doorknob, and he turns to face my son, offering him a smile.
He turns to face my son, offering him a smile. “Hey, buddy.”
Dylan stares at him for a beat, his expression unreadable. “What are you doing here?”
Maddox and I exchange a quick glance before he looks back at my son. “I was just heading out. Came to check on your mom and make sure her car was all fixed.”
“Oh,” Dylan says, his gaze bouncing between us. “Well, it’s early. You should stay. Mom gets bored on the nights she doesn’t work at the bar, and I’m playing a tournament.”
“Dylan, I’m not bored.”
“You look bored to me.” He holds out his phone. “Can you tell him to stop texting me? I’m on the phone with my friends and it’s distracting.”
My brows pinch together and I take the phone from him. “Who?”
“Dad. He keeps apologizing and asking to hang out.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t want to see him. I don’t even want to talk to him. Can you block his number from my phone?”
I swallow thickly, heat creeping up neck. As embarrassing as it is for Maddox to witness this, I think it’s also good for my case. He’s getting a front-row seat to watch Russell in action and see what it does to Dylan. Maybe he’ll back off.
“I will text him.” Handing him back his phone, I pluck mine from the coffee table and quickly pull up Russell’s contact information.
“Hey, Maddox, Mom worked the farmer’s market today, and we got some really good bread. You should try it before you leave.”
I glance up from my phone, watching as Maddox’s expression softens. An amused smile tugs at his lips.
“I do love me some good bread.”
“I’ll get you some.” He rolls back on his heels. “Hey, did you ask my mom about the lessons?”
My fingers freeze mid-text. “What lessons?”
“Maddox offered to teach me to ride a horse.”
I stare at Maddox, my mouth slightly agape.
“At the bar Dylan mentioned that he’s been wanting to learn how to ride,” Maddox says carefully, his eyes never leaving mine. “I offered to give him some lessons. But I told him we’d have to get your permission first.”
“Please, Mom?”
My blood runs cold, and an exasperated sigh leaves my lips. This is exactly what I’m talking about.
“I’ll think about it, Dylan.”
His eyes light up. “That’s not a no.”
Before I can tell him that’s not exactly a yes either, his phone chimes with a notification. He glances at the screen, then lifts his head. “I gotta go. A new tournament is starting in two minutes.” He looks over at Maddox. “Don’t forget to try the bread.”
And just like that, he disappears down the hallway, his door clicking shut behind him.
I toss my phone onto the couch and stalk toward the front door. Swinging it open, I step aside, allowing Maddox room to exit my apartment.
“You need to go. Now.”
He shoves his hands into his pockets and brushes past me. Stepping into the hallway, he turns to face me. “It’s just a few lessons, Amelia.”
“You had no right to offer that without talking to me first.”
Maddox leans against the side of the door, appearing annoyingly calm. “Let me teach him.”
“No.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“The kid wants to learn, and you know damn well there is no one better equipped to teach him.”
That’s true. He’s the one who taught me how to ride. But I’m not about to admit that.
“This doesn’t have to be about us, Amelia.”
I press my fingers to my temples. “You don’t get it!
This is exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t need you swooping in, making promises to my son.
” I pull my hands away from my face, frustration clawing at me.
He’s put me in an impossible situation because now if I say no, I’m the bad guy, and I’m so fucking tired of being the bad guy when it comes to Dylan.
But solo parenting doesn’t leave much of a choice, does it?
“I’ll think about it,” I mutter.
He grins, a cocky grin working its way across his very kissable lips.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I hiss. “I didn’t say yes.”
He inches forward, that grin of his widening. “That’s not a no.”
“It’s cuter when my son says it,” I mumble, splaying my hand against his chest. “Get out of here.”
“What about my bread?”
“Get your own damn bread.”
He laughs, the sound rumbling through me. Then he leans even closer, and his eyes darken slightly. “Fine. How about a kiss goodnight?”
My heart hammers behind my ribs, and stupidly I glance at his lips.
The man does not play fair.
But I don’t allow myself to give in to the temptation.
Instead, I shove him into the hallway and slam the door in his face.
Take that, cowboy.