Chapter Thirty-Three
NORA brEATHED THROUGH HER MOUTH as she sat perfectly straight across from Dr. Chalfant, her handcuffed hands in her lap.
The musky scent of sweat and unwashed bodies staled the air and coated her tongue, making it difficult to relax.
She’d already endured a horribly embarrassing physical examination, and now she’d been brought here for a mockery of a verbal evaluation.
Yes, she knew her name, the date, her birthday, her parentage—she even knew better than to say Mum was the real Constanza Brisbane.
She knew Father’s story for their life frontward and backward.
Each question tried her patience, but that was likely the point, and Nora would not give Dr. Chalfant the satisfaction of losing her temper and giving him more cause to deem her mad.
Ezekiel had been right. She was not insane.
She was more certain of it now than ever before.
Mrs. Reed was Ursula, and Adam Adler was Winston.
He’d been outside her window yesterday morning, and he’d attacked her last night.
He and Mrs. Reed had schemed together to make Nora appear mad.
Then Mrs. Reed had lied about her brother’s stabbing and used her skills as an actress to play upon sympathies and turn all of Nora’s neighbors against her.
“And how long has Winston been following you?”
There was no answer Nora could give that wouldn’t play into the insanity narrative Mrs. Reed had written for her. For far too long Mum had declared this imaginary man a danger.
“Miss Davis, I asked you a question.”
“Whatever I say, you will use against me, so I see no point in answering. You made your determination about me before I was ever brought in here, so let’s have it.”
He laid aside her file. “Fine, if you wish to be direct, I can accommodate. There is a long history of madness being an inheritable trait, and regrettably I must deem you as much a danger to society as your mother. It is my recommendation you be placed under Longview’s care until we deem you no longer a threat. ”
“The only one I’m a danger to is the man who tried to kill me.” And maybe Mrs. Reed, if she dared to follow through with her threat and appear here at Longview.
“Well, he won’t be trying again any time soon. He’s in the hospital with a great deal of blood loss, and the risk of infection in his wound is high. He may well die from your attack, and yet I sense no remorse for your actions.”
“I would never wish for anyone to die because of my hand, but I feel no guilt for defending myself. He would have killed me had I not acted. He is the guilty party, not I.”
He shook his head. “This is not a court where we determine guilt or innocence.”
Really? You could have fooled me.
“We are a hospital for the mentally ill, and I am afraid you are very sick through no fault of your own. Your mother has brought this upon you with all her talk of a man pursuing you, but I do not believe you are as far gone as she. There is hope for your healing if you will allow us to help.”
“I don’t know what kind of help you think you provide here, but I’ve not seen any improvements in Mum to believe your methods successful.”
He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I know we have not seen eye to eye on your mother’s treatments, but I truly do have both of your best interests in mind.
Your mother is a chronic sufferer, and the best we can do at this stage is to keep her calm and quiet so she is not a danger to herself or others. ”
“Calm? You mean sedated.”
“For now, yes. You are not aware, but after you left on Tuesday, she attacked a visitor because she believed him to be Winston coming after you.”
The announcement was both horrifying and hopeful. “Were there witnesses? Someone who could go to the hospital and verify he is the same man who attacked me?”
His lips firmed, and it was a moment before he spoke.
“Miss Davis, you attacked the man, not the other way around. Until you can accept the truth, you’ll be like your mother, trapped in a web of fear that leaves you incapable of functioning in society.
Is that what you want? You are young and vibrant.
It would be a shame for you to wither away here.
You deserve to have a life outside of these walls.
You deserve to have a husband and a family.
Certainly there is a young man you wish to get better for? ”
What would Ezekiel think of all this? He wouldn’t blame her, but if she wasn’t released, there could never be a future for them.
Once a week supervised visits split between her and his mum were no way to form a lasting relationship.
And if she were released, enough witnesses who believed Mrs. Reed’s story existed to make the stench of insanity cling so tightly to her that they’d be shunned as a couple.
Would he want that shame while presenting himself as a respected composer?
And what of the Guardians? Sure, one of their ideals was loyalty, but would an oath made during their school days hold against such a reputation?
Lydia was marrying a detective, Flossie was starting a business, and Theresa’s grandfather would be vehemently opposed to their friendship.
Could any of them, for the sakes of their families or businesses, afford to be associated with her?
And what about Father? He’d been upset at Nora’s arrest, but he hadn’t denied the possibility she was insane.
Would he abandon her like he had Mum? What if, when she finally gained her freedom, no one remained in her life?
Or worse, what if she never gained her freedom?
Was Mrs. Reed’s threat idle and meant to keep Nora afraid and seeing enemies?
Or was it real and Mrs. Reed would appear with whatever she planned next?
What a cunning and devious woman. No matter what happened to Nora from here, her life would be forever changed.
Please, God. I don’t know what to expect. Should I be vigilant against attack, or should I ignore any attempts to make me appear crazy?
The old bands tightened around her chest.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” The verse, now familiar thanks to Ezekiel, settled over her.
It wasn’t her power that loosened the bands, but God’s.
His power. His love. All so she could have a sound mind.
Peace, regardless of whatever Mrs. Reed meant.
She might be stuck here for now, but that didn’t mean it was forever.
She could endure whatever Dr. Chalfant considered the proper treatment for her ailment.
She glanced at his handwriting, thankful for the years of reading Lydia’s upside down.
Acute violent paroxysmal mania. Acute was good.
That meant he truly believed her stay would be of short duration.
“And what treatment do you suggest for my bout of mania?”
Dr. Chalfant smiled at his apparent victory. “We want you to feel comfortable and safe here. We’ll start with removing your restraints.” He nodded to the police officer in the corner.
The poor man did his job so efficiently, he almost fell backward in his attempt to scurry out of arm’s reach. He probably expected her to spring at him and claw his face.
“Nurse Rhodes will take you for a warm bath, some clean clothing, and a hot meal. I often find when patients arrive that they are suffering from dyspepsia. We’ll do a few rounds of purgatives, ensure a diet encouraging healthy and frequent movements, and include plenty of exercise.
I’d like you to spend the first few days resting though. ”
What a polite way to say she would be sedated. Nora clenched her jaw to keep from arguing.
“It will calm any lingering cerebral excitement. We’ll provide you with a Bible to meditate on when you feel up to it. I believe it will help quiet your spirit and perhaps correct the moral direction your soul is taking.”
He had no right to assume he knew the moral direction of her soul, and what audacity to provide her a Bible but not a priest to Mum. Whose moral compass was more misdirected? It certainly wasn’t hers. She kept the thoughts to herself. If she wanted a chance at freedom, she’d have to behave.
“I’m glad we’ve come to an agreement, Miss Davis. Nurse Rhodes will see to your needs, then escort you to your room to rest.”
A pock-faced girl took Nora by the arm. “This way. By the time we get you tucked in bed, you’ll be so relaxed not a single unpleasant thought will bother you.”
But Nora should have known Dr. Chalfant’s description of her treatment would be as true as a wooden nickel.
Oh, the bath was nice enough, but everything declined from there.
The brown gown she was given to wear was as drafty as a broken window and itched with the promise of fleas.
The hot meal was watery gruel, tepid milk, a handful of pills, and two tinctures Nurse Rhodes refused to name.
For all Nora knew, she’d been poisoned and was being led to the dead room, where they would store her body after she succumbed.
An unearthly haze clouded her mind and caused her steps to stumble.
Nothing about the building was welcoming beyond the rooms meant for the public, but the atmosphere grew increasingly disconcerting the deeper into the belly of Longview they walked.
Doors changed from the normal solid wood to metal ones with bars for windows.
The stench of unemptied chamber pots wrinkled her nose.
Whimpers, moans, and unintelligible cries joined with the shadows to form a setting ripe for one of Lydia’s crime novels.
“Where are you taking me?”
Nurse Rhodes didn’t answer, only gave an uneasy side-glance. At the end of the hall, she opened one of the metal doors. “This is your room.” She stepped back.
The world tilted, and Nora gripped the door to steady herself.
If she didn’t sit soon, she’d collapse onto the floor.
Best to know where she should aim before going any further.
She peered around the sterile room. A bed with a thin mattress, an even thinner pillow, and a blanket took up one side of the wall.
A black book—presumably the Bible—sat on the window ledge, but other than that, nothing.
“I’m sorry, Miss Davis.” Nurse Rhodes’s apology came as she shoved Nora forward and slammed the door.
Nora whirled unsteadily and dove for the handle. She lost her balance, and her face crashed against the cold metal.
The lock clicked into place.
Nurse Rhodes’s voice carried through the bars.
“I don’t like starting you in isolation, but Dr. Chalfant thought it best to keep you away from the others until we are certain you are sufficiently compliant.
As long as you don’t throw a fit and need to be fully sedated, it will only last until Tuesday.
There are two chamber pots beneath the bed for once the purgatives take effect.
Food and water will be delivered three times a day.
There is an orderly stationed in the hall, but don’t expect to raise a ruckus and get out.
Your mother has already tried, and Dr. Chalfant expects the same from you. Please prove him wrong.”
By the sound of the steps, she was leaving.
“Wait!” Nora grasped the bars to support herself. “You said my mum already tried. Is she here? Nearby?” The desperate hope that she might see or hear Mum pushed against the fog.
A warm hand touched Nora’s cold one. “Lie down before you fall down. I put you in the room next to hers, but don’t bother talking to her. She’s kept heavily sedated. I’ll be by to check on you later.” She squeezed Nora’s hand, then the clip, clip, clip of her shoes against the stone floor faded.
Nora stumbled to the bed and crawled beneath the scratchy cover.
Was it possible Mum lay directly on the other side?
She faced the wall and pressed a hand to its rough texture.
Was there any crueler punishment than to finally be near Mum yet unable to touch or talk to her?
Mrs. Reed must be proud of her achievement.
At least in death, Nora would know the loving arms of Jesus.
Here, the only things that wrapped around her were the sounds of her fellow suffering inmates.
Healing and hope in an asylum were lies spoken to the naive, and Dr. Chalfant was a fool if he truly expected recovery to occur here.
How was Nora ever going to keep her sanity in a place like this?
Especially when she wasn’t sure if she should be waiting for Mrs. Reed to appear or if the threat was simply another trick to keep Nora questioning herself.